dotcom

sometimes its not so easy to stay positive, and my problems cover up my tendency to be a junkie. its not that i forget that im an addict, i just forget how much i cant help myself if i get near a line of my DOC. some of my hobbies potentially are around users. no, i dont need a new hobby though because i always have a choice to say no. and not every time that i play music will there be junkies around.

its nice to be positive though. instead of not ever doing anything i have been looking at the fun-ness of the scene and purchasing some of the local band's cd's and merchandise and it gives me a happy feeling to go and then leave before i start getting tired. just enough loud music to enjoy myself . its quite different going to shows without using or drinking or having a cig to puff on.

how do you stay positive and do things that make you happy while dealing with your life's crap?

servicejunkie

Try to find some other people in recovery who have the same interests and hobbies as yourself. Try to avoid people, places and things you associate with using, because in order to get Fu%ked, first you have to get into position!! I like going out to clubs sometimes. I love to DJ and mix beats, and I have found some other people in recovery who also share this interest, so we get together and spin vinyl together and even go out to clubs TOGETHER on occasion. The way to stay positive in recovery is to feed yourself positive things. If you ever wonder why your appetite calls for something, just take a look at what you're feeding yourself!! Find some sort of activity to help you grow and help you feel better about yourself. Music is definately a great therapy, but most people in that scene are not trying to stay clean a day at a time. If you arn't in NA yet, check out some meetings in your area at www.na.org, and get with some people there to give you some suggestions or to hang with. It may be easy to say no the first ten times, but what about when you are in a bad mood or are in a negative mindset??? You never know.
Mike

Gooch

I was sort of uncomfortable for a while trying to do some of my old hobbies ( music, motorcycling, etc.) I think that because we are so accustomed to having the substance in the middle of our passtimes, taht it takes a while to become more and more acclimated to our "new" self in the midst of "old" things.

I got better by limiting the exposure .. I would tell myself I am going to go and see te band, If I am enjoying it I will stay, if I am not, I'll go. I'm up to about a 3 hr concert, or an hour at a bar to check out a band. I can ride the bike all day and not be uncomfortable ( cept for my buttocks falling asleep).

It isn't easy for anyone to stay constantly positive while dealing with the daily ups and downs of life. More so it seems that we become wuicker to process and appropriately express our feelings wit hpractice. Just like playing music, we practice to get better.

Hang in there your doing it!

wishIsedNO

For me i deal with life on hour to hour basis...Because since i been off of heroin my moods totally swing....So i try and have patience..Which is sooooo hard...But i try..This past week has been the most stressful...But my program and counselor help me soo much..I never thought id ever say that..Because the last times i tried recovery...I hated groups...And hated talking to therapists even more...But something went off in my head when i got to this program,..Dont know if it was just my time or what..But this time around being able to talk to my counselor and get his feed back relaxes me..And also gives me ideas on how to deal with everything..Because many times i dont see stuff thats there...But others do...So it helps..Like today i felt like blowing up on everyone....Im a caretaker type..Cause i tend to dislike myself so id rather help others then help myself or take care of myself...So when i got to my counselors room all i could do was scream about everything...And he let me and it felt good..and he got me to see somethings you are powerless over and need to let go of it..Another things thats hard for me and many addicts..
Basically take it slow...And try to think before you act...Many times we just do suff on impulse...And then think after..And then the guilt comes..But now when you think before you stay clear of alotta problems...I wish you the best....Jackie

dotcom

great point! thank you service junkie. last weekend, i had a wonderful weekend. i went to a show for all the right reasons. i just felt so happy to go. i hadnt done anything like that for myself in a long time. in other words, i was afraid to do anything nice to myself so i guess i was feeding myself rottenness! now im working on being positive but also not forgetting that i am an addict and have tendencies to be very weak around hot lines, lines, pipes, needles, foil, etc.


thank you gooch! ironically, that is what i did last weekend. i stayed only for one band, i was tired and i went home. i knew if i stayed later i would be tired, grouchy, and it would just be too much for me. it is SO wierd to go to a show and not utilize the restrooms for my habit. or go outside and chainsmoke or chug a 40. but, i had SO MUCH FUN being there sober. i actually heard the music, LOL.


thank you wish! i am like this too. i get to not liking myself so i choose not to do nice things for myself which makes me restless. i am trying to stop being so much of a caretaker, but it can be trying.

dotcom

by the way, wish me luck. im off this evening to have a nice sober and fun evening with some friends.