Inafishbowl

Hi All. I'm still new. Just over 30 days. I have joined AA and have a sponsor. I'm ready for step 4, but still need to sit down with my sponsor to go over 1, 2 & 3 first. She wants to make sure I have it nailed so to speak.

I'm also seeing a therapist who has been in recovery via AA for 20 years. My question is this. I find myself talking about AA a lot and she is freaking expensive. I've got deeper stuff to work out and I know that. I'm being as honest as I can, but I'm not sure how to best utilize this therapist. I don't want to be paying her the $200/hour for AA stuff. I sort of want her to ask me questions or something. I don't know. I have tough luck with therapy. I feel like they are always just nodding their head and validating. She is offering more and I believe she is quality. But I feel kind of stagnant with her. Keep in mind I just had my 4th session with her.

Thoughts? Ideas? Experiences?

LexieCat

Hmmm...

Is there some particular reason you feel you NEED an addiction therapist? Basically, AA's Twelve Steps are intended to be a pretty complete guide to living sober. I know you want to get really REALLY recovered, but most people with long-term sobriety that I know got that way just using the Twelve Steps. And they are REALLY recovered.

Not to knock therapy, but maybe you want to just stick with AA for awhile and decide after awhile if you think there are still additional issues you might want to address in addition to your addiction to alcohol.

Inafishbowl

Lexie,
I have clinical depression, or so I have been told. It's chicken and egg crap. Am I an alcoholic because I drink or vice versa? Does it matter? Probably not. I have been getting the feeling that perhaps I don't need the therapist, but I also don't want to give up just quite yet.

I have lotsa stuff that I thought I worked out, but maybe I didn't. I don't know. I suppose I want to keep all of my bases covered at the current moment. I am, however holding off on the meds to see how working these steps really do help me.

julez

Hi Ina, I'm glad to know you are utilizing a therapist as well as AA. I've been looking into a therapist as well, and its really important that she be familiar with the 12 steps. I think everyone needs a 12 step program to deal with life. I'd like for someone to be able to help me use the 12 steps for my alcoholism, and also for me to get through some things from my past. Maybe ask her how the 12 steps can help you deal with the issues you are facing. Bring recovery and life into one issue, and grow spiritually to help you better your life.
Just my opinion.

Sugah

I did various kinds of therapy for years, and it didn't do much good. Maybe because I was still drinking? Hrm..

Anyway, I've gone to two different therapists in sobriety, both for very specific purposes. The first time, I went for assertiveness training. The second time, I was having anxiety attacks and asked to be taught some specific meditation techniques to deal with it. Both therapists were very familiar with AA (one was sober 25+ years in AA).

My suggestion? If you are looking for something specific--ways to deal nonpharmaceutically with depression--go in with a list of questions. I would not discourage you to see a therapist for depression, though I will say that I took antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication for many years, and when I detoxed, I went off everything. After taking my steps, I didn't need them anymore.

Whether you need additional help outside of good sponsorship remains to be seen, and you'll have to be the one to determine that. I can see where someone with "book learning" who's also familiar with the program could be helpful, though $200/hr. seems steep (I paid between $90 & $125).

Peace & Love,
Sugah

bellakeller

If it was me, I'd just do the AA for a year and then focus on the other stuff. There is wisdom in what they say about not making major changes within a year of recovery. If I had to choose it would be AA.

My therapist tells me the same - if I need to make a choice between him and AA, he prefers I choose AA.

LetsGoJets

Welcome!

I had my 2 year birthday cake last night! It was great!

My experience....First 7 or 8 months i did AA and therapy. I did the therapy because it was suggested by the treatment center i was in to deal with my "issues."

After 7 months i kicked the therapy out and just did AA-- i felt a lot better. I believe that therapy attempts to "fix" us. while the whole point of AA is that nothing I try will fix me.

For me, doing both is like pissing into the wind.

AA has worked just fine for me, but I would suggest that you pray about it and find out for yourself through experience.

DayTrader

Fish..... your experience pretty much parallels mine. ......with a few differences.

My therapist has 13 yrs sober and she's 100 an hour (less than that the more I go though). We ONLY talk AA there....just on a deeper level than I can with anyone else in the program because my therapist is not only in recovery, she's professionally trained to listen and to draw stuff out of me. I love my sponsor but he's not able to dig as deep into me as my therapist can......I look at her (therapist) like a professional AA sponsor - a hired gun so to speak.

And if I feel like a session was "weak" or didn't go heavy or deep enough, I complain and tell her...... Heck, I'm not paying money to chill with someone in recovery......I want to GET SOME FRICKIN WORK DONE and I WANT SOME BANG FOR MY BUCK. Oh yeah, my gal is a frickin rock-star step worker too......she's WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY deep into AA, the steps, GOD, GOD, more GOD and recovery...... All that said though, as a sponsor, she doesn't pull her therapy tools out. She's tougher on her "patients" than she is her sponsees........ and for someone like me who WANTS it that way, believe me, she shoots with both barrels - but then I'm CRYSTAL clear with her about wanting it that way. Maybe you need to have a similar talk with your therapist.

I still do both......aa and therapy.....but then my therapist only does the steps in her professional practice and I wouldn't WANT psychobabble anyway......

gravity

I was sober and in AA for 1 1/2 years when I started seeing a counsellor for moderate anxiety/depression.

I made it clear that the steps were working for me and that my beliefs are spiritual. He supported me on both counts. I was in counselling for about 18 months when he told me he couldn't help me anymore - I am a confident, happy guy!

Just my experience but the work with my counsellor was more all-encompassing and I felt 100% certain about confidentiality. My AA stuff is more alcoholism/12-step specific and I rely on the experience, strength, and hope that only another alcoholic can give me. AA and therapy complemented each other perfectly.

Also, my counselling was free. Gotta love the Canadian health care system!

Inafishbowl

Trader, that was a huge help. Thanks!

Gravity,I always appreciate what you have to say.

Baschoen

I think lots of people don't realize that many people with addictions have underlying causes for their addiction. For me personally I was a complete self-medicator. Of course sometimes I wanted to get high, but most of the time I used drugs to escape my feelings. I have a very bad anxiety disorder which leads to depression as well as season affective disorder. Drugs were a quick easy fix... I'm trying to find a way to deal with life without them and as of now I'm struggling, but I know I'll get there. I think working with a therapist is a great idea especially if you know you have underlying issues. For some people the 12 steps do it, but for a lot of people its not enough. For me i feel as though my addiction was in many ways a symptom of my disorder. It also makes it a lot harder to work through the steps and get better because I am always looking for that quick fix. It takes patientience and therapy will help teach you that as well as tons of other stuff that will help you. 200 bucks a session seems really expensive, that's what my psychiatrist charges, but we are switching because he is too expensive. I suggest finding a psychologist instead that is inside your insurance network. That way it will work out to ~50 a session.