Codependency and beyond - Part 17
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,617
Codependency and beyond - Part 17
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((Lisa))
So glad you had a PINK day!!!
I am having a much PINKier day today too - I would love to say it is all mental but I can be honest with yall - part of it is because i didn't eat much yesterday - (ugh)
but today is better -
"The change of one simple behavior can affect other behaviors and thus change many things." ~ Jean Baer
So changing a little and asking my God to help with the rest!!!!
PINK HUGS to all!
So glad you had a PINK day!!!
I am having a much PINKier day today too - I would love to say it is all mental but I can be honest with yall - part of it is because i didn't eat much yesterday - (ugh)
but today is better -
"The change of one simple behavior can affect other behaviors and thus change many things." ~ Jean Baer
So changing a little and asking my God to help with the rest!!!!
PINK HUGS to all!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Friday, January 21, 2011 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Wants and Needs
Part of taking responsibility for us means taking responsibility for what we want and need, and knowing that's okay to do.
Learning to tune in to us, learning to listen to ourselves, is an art. It takes practice. We can use our ability to guess what others want and need and apply that skill to ourselves.
What does it sound like we might want and need? What would we guess would help us feel better? What are our feelings telling us? Our body? Our mind? Our intuition?
If we ask, then listen closely; we'll hear the answer.
We are wiser than we think, and we can be trusted.
What we want and need counts. It's important, and it's valid. It's okay to learn to participate in meeting our own needs.
We can learn to identify what we want and need and be patient with ourselves while we're learning.
Today, I will pay attention to what I want and need. I will not discount myself.
Wants and Needs
Part of taking responsibility for us means taking responsibility for what we want and need, and knowing that's okay to do.
Learning to tune in to us, learning to listen to ourselves, is an art. It takes practice. We can use our ability to guess what others want and need and apply that skill to ourselves.
What does it sound like we might want and need? What would we guess would help us feel better? What are our feelings telling us? Our body? Our mind? Our intuition?
If we ask, then listen closely; we'll hear the answer.
We are wiser than we think, and we can be trusted.
What we want and need counts. It's important, and it's valid. It's okay to learn to participate in meeting our own needs.
We can learn to identify what we want and need and be patient with ourselves while we're learning.
Today, I will pay attention to what I want and need. I will not discount myself.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Lisa))) - so glad you had a great PINK day
Right before reading today's reading, I had Mots in my face, basically saying "I need some lovin'!!" I told him he had every right to ask for TLC, he deserved it...just please don't walk on my laptop.
Then I read the reading and thought "um, yeah...Amy, it's okay to ask for what YOU need, too!" Still a work in progress.
I am trying to get the last tinges of PINK out of my hair...I want to FEEL pink, I just don't want my hair being that actual color.
I'm feeling very grateful today..that I have a job to go to, that there is no drama in my house (right now) and that some of my SR friends are coming through for me in ways I never even imagined. Life is good.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Right before reading today's reading, I had Mots in my face, basically saying "I need some lovin'!!" I told him he had every right to ask for TLC, he deserved it...just please don't walk on my laptop.
Then I read the reading and thought "um, yeah...Amy, it's okay to ask for what YOU need, too!" Still a work in progress.
I am trying to get the last tinges of PINK out of my hair...I want to FEEL pink, I just don't want my hair being that actual color.
I'm feeling very grateful today..that I have a job to go to, that there is no drama in my house (right now) and that some of my SR friends are coming through for me in ways I never even imagined. Life is good.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Saturday, January 22, 2011 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Appreciating Our Past
It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance, and growth. Our past is a series of lessons that advance us to higher levels of living and loving.
The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons. Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who we are and what we want.
Our mistakes? Necessary. Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes-stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too.
Each step of the way, we learned. We went through exactly the experiences we needed to, to become who we are today. Each step of the way, we progressed.
Is our past a mistake? No. The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth.
Today, God, help me let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today.
Appreciating Our Past
It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance, and growth. Our past is a series of lessons that advance us to higher levels of living and loving.
The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons. Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who we are and what we want.
Our mistakes? Necessary. Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes-stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too.
Each step of the way, we learned. We went through exactly the experiences we needed to, to become who we are today. Each step of the way, we progressed.
Is our past a mistake? No. The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth.
Today, God, help me let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 346
((((Love to all))))
The father of two of my students died yesterday by falling into the blades of an auger at work.
Poor kids...such nice twin boys...and now they are fatherless.
Also...son is resuming disrespectful attitude and avoidance with me...just too much stress...change is coming.
I am calling to set up therapy tomorrow and calling the divorce attorney as well.
I ask for thoughts and prayers of love and light.
Love you
Annie
The father of two of my students died yesterday by falling into the blades of an auger at work.
Poor kids...such nice twin boys...and now they are fatherless.
Also...son is resuming disrespectful attitude and avoidance with me...just too much stress...change is coming.
I am calling to set up therapy tomorrow and calling the divorce attorney as well.
I ask for thoughts and prayers of love and light.
Love you
Annie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Annie))) - you have my love, prayers, thoughts, support and everything else I can send your way. My prayers also to your students and all who love them.
(((Live))) - thanks for today's reading. Since recently having had my past thrown in my face, it's taken me a couple days to remember "that's who I was, not who I am now". Okay, so I KNEW it, it just took time for all the bad feelings to go away.
I did talk to dad today, as he still didn't know what happened. Long story short, he thanked me for telling him, not only what happened, but my feelings. I'd told him I will NOT be in the same house with anyone I feel threatened by. I'm not ready to say I'll leave, permanently, but Elvis and I can go somewhere for a night or two.
As it stands, Brit is not allowed back in the house. I told my stepmom I know how much this hurts her, I'm not saying Brit can't come back...if she was in a good mood, I'd be on guard, but I wouldn't walk out. Dad pointed out "we never know WHAT kind of mood she's in".
I told them I loved them, I love Brit, but I've got to do what I have to do and I went to work. I remembered, on the way there, where someone had quoted on ((Steve's)) thread "do you love her enough to let her hate you", and I do. It hurts, but I'm not going to stand in the way of her consequences, and I'm not going to love her to death.
On a good note, my former problem mgr gave me a really nice complement, tonight, and I told her, before I left, how very, very much I appreciated all her help and hard work when we were so busy, and the cool part is, I meant it.
I can't say that it's ALL my doing, but I just realized that every time we've had a "problem mgr", where NO ONE gets along with them, I get the brunt, but I work my recovery, and we don't have any problem mgrs, any more. Darn it, but this recovery stuff ROCKS
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy
(((Live))) - thanks for today's reading. Since recently having had my past thrown in my face, it's taken me a couple days to remember "that's who I was, not who I am now". Okay, so I KNEW it, it just took time for all the bad feelings to go away.
I did talk to dad today, as he still didn't know what happened. Long story short, he thanked me for telling him, not only what happened, but my feelings. I'd told him I will NOT be in the same house with anyone I feel threatened by. I'm not ready to say I'll leave, permanently, but Elvis and I can go somewhere for a night or two.
As it stands, Brit is not allowed back in the house. I told my stepmom I know how much this hurts her, I'm not saying Brit can't come back...if she was in a good mood, I'd be on guard, but I wouldn't walk out. Dad pointed out "we never know WHAT kind of mood she's in".
I told them I loved them, I love Brit, but I've got to do what I have to do and I went to work. I remembered, on the way there, where someone had quoted on ((Steve's)) thread "do you love her enough to let her hate you", and I do. It hurts, but I'm not going to stand in the way of her consequences, and I'm not going to love her to death.
On a good note, my former problem mgr gave me a really nice complement, tonight, and I told her, before I left, how very, very much I appreciated all her help and hard work when we were so busy, and the cool part is, I meant it.
I can't say that it's ALL my doing, but I just realized that every time we've had a "problem mgr", where NO ONE gets along with them, I get the brunt, but I work my recovery, and we don't have any problem mgrs, any more. Darn it, but this recovery stuff ROCKS
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Annie, I'm praying that you're given everything you need to do what needs to be done, and if there's a storm it's a calm one.
Amy, and everyone, I'm praying for calm breezes in all our lives, too.
I'm glad to be home and it wasn't a moment too soon. I don't think my body could handle another day in Vegas, unless it was curled up in the fetal position with room service, of course lol. I'm so tired but like Frankie, I can say I did it my way!
I walked and walked, hiked for two days in state parks and canyons, saw local friends, shopped, business dinners, the convention, etc. I did it all the way I wanted, even when that meant walking slower or faster than others. Or taking the elevator instead of stairs. Stopping to look in a store. I catered to myself and explained nothing
I won a progressive jackpot! It was a small one, it covered my expenses, and I was so happy I hugged the machine. This one woman watched me winning before and after hitting the jackpot, I was talking to it like people do at a craps table. Anyway, this morning she was at the same machine, talking to it, too
I seem to thankfully have pretty good luck with a few machines, certain kinds, and friends always ask if I have some kind of system. My husband always says I'm full of it when I answer yes, but the method to my madness seems sane and logical to me. And that is why I should not EVER live in Vegas! I'd end up a member of Gamblers Anonymous.
I'm so glad to be home. My daughter took good care of everything, including herself. Just for today, home is perfect
Amy, and everyone, I'm praying for calm breezes in all our lives, too.
I'm glad to be home and it wasn't a moment too soon. I don't think my body could handle another day in Vegas, unless it was curled up in the fetal position with room service, of course lol. I'm so tired but like Frankie, I can say I did it my way!
I walked and walked, hiked for two days in state parks and canyons, saw local friends, shopped, business dinners, the convention, etc. I did it all the way I wanted, even when that meant walking slower or faster than others. Or taking the elevator instead of stairs. Stopping to look in a store. I catered to myself and explained nothing
I won a progressive jackpot! It was a small one, it covered my expenses, and I was so happy I hugged the machine. This one woman watched me winning before and after hitting the jackpot, I was talking to it like people do at a craps table. Anyway, this morning she was at the same machine, talking to it, too
I seem to thankfully have pretty good luck with a few machines, certain kinds, and friends always ask if I have some kind of system. My husband always says I'm full of it when I answer yes, but the method to my madness seems sane and logical to me. And that is why I should not EVER live in Vegas! I'd end up a member of Gamblers Anonymous.
I'm so glad to be home. My daughter took good care of everything, including herself. Just for today, home is perfect
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Sunday, January 23, 2011 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
New Energy Coming
Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, and life becomes worth living. And we become grateful.
—Beyond Codependency
There is a new energy, a new feeling coming into our life. We cannot base our expectations about how we will feel tomorrow, or even a few hours from now, on how we feel at this moment.
There are no two moments in time alike. We are recovering. We are changing. Our life is changing. At times, things haven't worked out the way we wanted. We had lessons to learn. The future shall not be like the past.
The truly difficult times are almost over. The confusion, the most challenging learning experiences, the difficult feelings are about to pass.
Do not limit the future by the past!
Reflect on the beginning of your recovery. Haven't there been many changes that have brought you to where you are now? Reflect on one year ago. Haven't you and your circumstances changed since then?
Sometimes, problems and feelings linger for a while. These times are temporary. Times of confusion, uncertainty, times of living with a particular unsolved problem do not last forever.
We make these times doubly hard by comparing them to our past. Each situation and circumstance has had its particular influence in shaping who we are. We do not have to scare ourselves by comparing our present and future to a painful past, especially our past before we began recovering or before we learned through a particular experience.
Know that the discomfort will not be permanent. Do not try to figure out how you shall feel or when you shall feel differently. Instead, trust. Accept today, but do not be limited by it.
A new energy is coming. A new feeling is on the way. We cannot predict how it will be by looking at how it was or how it is, because it shall be entirely different. We have not worked and struggled in vain. It has been for and toward something.
Times are changing for the better. Continue on the path of trust and obedience. Be open to the new.
Today, God, help me not judge or limit my future by my past. Help me be open to all the exciting possibilities for change, both within and around me.
New Energy Coming
Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, and life becomes worth living. And we become grateful.
—Beyond Codependency
There is a new energy, a new feeling coming into our life. We cannot base our expectations about how we will feel tomorrow, or even a few hours from now, on how we feel at this moment.
There are no two moments in time alike. We are recovering. We are changing. Our life is changing. At times, things haven't worked out the way we wanted. We had lessons to learn. The future shall not be like the past.
The truly difficult times are almost over. The confusion, the most challenging learning experiences, the difficult feelings are about to pass.
Do not limit the future by the past!
Reflect on the beginning of your recovery. Haven't there been many changes that have brought you to where you are now? Reflect on one year ago. Haven't you and your circumstances changed since then?
Sometimes, problems and feelings linger for a while. These times are temporary. Times of confusion, uncertainty, times of living with a particular unsolved problem do not last forever.
We make these times doubly hard by comparing them to our past. Each situation and circumstance has had its particular influence in shaping who we are. We do not have to scare ourselves by comparing our present and future to a painful past, especially our past before we began recovering or before we learned through a particular experience.
Know that the discomfort will not be permanent. Do not try to figure out how you shall feel or when you shall feel differently. Instead, trust. Accept today, but do not be limited by it.
A new energy is coming. A new feeling is on the way. We cannot predict how it will be by looking at how it was or how it is, because it shall be entirely different. We have not worked and struggled in vain. It has been for and toward something.
Times are changing for the better. Continue on the path of trust and obedience. Be open to the new.
Today, God, help me not judge or limit my future by my past. Help me be open to all the exciting possibilities for change, both within and around me.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
LOL
I ordered seed and plant catalogues so that I can daydream about spring gardening.
Years ago after my first divorce I bought a mobile home in a beautiful spot (next to a lake wooo-hooo). I gutted the inside..but once spring arrived, I spent every waking moment available outside planting my gardens. That is one of the best therapies I know!
I live in a mobile home park/community now...so it doesn't have the feel at all of the outdoors I had there, but nevertheless...
I also both there and in Florida could go into the woods and dig ferns and indiginous flowers to bring back to my garden.
I don't know where I could do that here.
Nevertheless, the prospect of spring renewal has been on my mind...so I did laugh when I saw today's reading.
I DID after all choose a great climate to move to this time!
And, for dh, we will plant vegetables also.
I ordered seed and plant catalogues so that I can daydream about spring gardening.
Years ago after my first divorce I bought a mobile home in a beautiful spot (next to a lake wooo-hooo). I gutted the inside..but once spring arrived, I spent every waking moment available outside planting my gardens. That is one of the best therapies I know!
I live in a mobile home park/community now...so it doesn't have the feel at all of the outdoors I had there, but nevertheless...
I also both there and in Florida could go into the woods and dig ferns and indiginous flowers to bring back to my garden.
I don't know where I could do that here.
Nevertheless, the prospect of spring renewal has been on my mind...so I did laugh when I saw today's reading.
I DID after all choose a great climate to move to this time!
And, for dh, we will plant vegetables also.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
We cannot predict how it will be by looking at how it was or how it is, because it shall be entirely different.
I like the change
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Lisa))) - sounds great!! I really, really wish I could get to a beach.
(((Live))) - good for you on planning your garden. I've never done that, though I used to help out in my g'pa's garden when I spent summers in MN.
I'm trying to concentrate on studying, but it's not so easy, today. I'm still plugging along.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
(((Live))) - good for you on planning your garden. I've never done that, though I used to help out in my g'pa's garden when I spent summers in MN.
I'm trying to concentrate on studying, but it's not so easy, today. I'm still plugging along.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Good Monday Morning Everyone!
Annie - BIG BIG BIG PINK HUGS to you Honey!! prayers for those precious young men that lost their dad - It doesn't matter what age - that's always hard!!
Praying that you are given the guidance, direction, courage and strength the walk the path you need to walk to be in a healthier and happier place for you!!
So grateful to hear about each of you taking such great care of yourselves!!! Each of you inspire me to do better!!!
We had a great weekend - worked a little at H & R Block, then got to spend time with Mr. Pink Acres and we got to see the grandkids. yippeee!!!
Not hearing a lot from Ashley - not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing- It just is what it is - right?
Talked with her via Facebook this morning she said she did move out but her BF did allow her to keep her phone and she said she was going to her classes at the university - So it doesn't sound bad at all.
Today I'm grateful to have this posted on my desk at work so I can read it as often as possible . . .
Never let me imagine that my satisfaction with Life depend on what someone else may do. ODAT in Al-Anon pg 234
PINK HUGS!!
Annie - BIG BIG BIG PINK HUGS to you Honey!! prayers for those precious young men that lost their dad - It doesn't matter what age - that's always hard!!
Praying that you are given the guidance, direction, courage and strength the walk the path you need to walk to be in a healthier and happier place for you!!
So grateful to hear about each of you taking such great care of yourselves!!! Each of you inspire me to do better!!!
We had a great weekend - worked a little at H & R Block, then got to spend time with Mr. Pink Acres and we got to see the grandkids. yippeee!!!
Not hearing a lot from Ashley - not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing- It just is what it is - right?
Talked with her via Facebook this morning she said she did move out but her BF did allow her to keep her phone and she said she was going to her classes at the university - So it doesn't sound bad at all.
Today I'm grateful to have this posted on my desk at work so I can read it as often as possible . . .
Never let me imagine that my satisfaction with Life depend on what someone else may do. ODAT in Al-Anon pg 234
PINK HUGS!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Rita))) - I like that...think I need to print it out and hang it over my desk.
I tried studying, all day yesterday, but didn't get as far as I wanted, and feeling a bit overwhelmed again. Not to mention, this is a class that is geared toward people going INTO nursing school, stuff I know (but not the nitty gritty details) and it's like a reminder of what I left behind for crack
Hopefully, I only have one more quarter of classes like this, and then can get into what I'm getting my degree for.
Atmosphere around the house is still a bit of a dark cloud, but getting better. Dad says he' changing his debit card, as Brit had the numbers..only used it to get pizza delivered, but he said "no more". We'll see.
I'm getting ready for work. Am glad to be getting out of the house. Oh, but the GOOD news is, with my first test and postings, I have a 98 average in the class that is driving me crazy
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy
I tried studying, all day yesterday, but didn't get as far as I wanted, and feeling a bit overwhelmed again. Not to mention, this is a class that is geared toward people going INTO nursing school, stuff I know (but not the nitty gritty details) and it's like a reminder of what I left behind for crack
Hopefully, I only have one more quarter of classes like this, and then can get into what I'm getting my degree for.Atmosphere around the house is still a bit of a dark cloud, but getting better. Dad says he' changing his debit card, as Brit had the numbers..only used it to get pizza delivered, but he said "no more". We'll see.
I'm getting ready for work. Am glad to be getting out of the house. Oh, but the GOOD news is, with my first test and postings, I have a 98 average in the class that is driving me crazy
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Amy - used it "only to get pizza delivered"?????????
sounds very codie - still using a card without permission is hmm what's that word oh yeah - STEALING!!!!
Hope your dad learns about those boundaries soon for his own peace & self-care!!
Great for you on a 98 average - that's pretty specktacular!!!!!!!!
or shall I say "SPINKTACULAR"
sounds very codie - still using a card without permission is hmm what's that word oh yeah - STEALING!!!!
Hope your dad learns about those boundaries soon for his own peace & self-care!!
Great for you on a 98 average - that's pretty specktacular!!!!!!!!
or shall I say "SPINKTACULAR"
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
