Codependency and beyond - Part 17
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Monday, January 24, 2011 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Clearing the Slate
One of the greatest gifts we can give is an open, loving heart. And holding on to negative feelings from past relationships is our greatest barrier to that gift.
Most of us have had relationships that have ended. When we examine these relationships, we need to clear the emotional slate. Are we holding on to anger or resentments? Are we still feeling victimized? Are we living with the self-defeating beliefs that may be attached to these relationships - Women can't be trusted.... Bosses use people.... There is no such thing as a good relationship....
Let go of all that may be blocking your relationships today. With great certainty, we can know that old feelings and self-defeating beliefs will block us today from giving and getting the love we desire. We can clear the slate of the past. It begins with awareness, honesty, and openness. The process is complete when we reach a state of acceptance and peace toward all from our past.
Today, I will begin the process of letting go of all self-defeating feelings and beliefs connected to past relationships. I will clear my slate so I am free to love and be loved.
Clearing the Slate
One of the greatest gifts we can give is an open, loving heart. And holding on to negative feelings from past relationships is our greatest barrier to that gift.
Most of us have had relationships that have ended. When we examine these relationships, we need to clear the emotional slate. Are we holding on to anger or resentments? Are we still feeling victimized? Are we living with the self-defeating beliefs that may be attached to these relationships - Women can't be trusted.... Bosses use people.... There is no such thing as a good relationship....
Let go of all that may be blocking your relationships today. With great certainty, we can know that old feelings and self-defeating beliefs will block us today from giving and getting the love we desire. We can clear the slate of the past. It begins with awareness, honesty, and openness. The process is complete when we reach a state of acceptance and peace toward all from our past.
Today, I will begin the process of letting go of all self-defeating feelings and beliefs connected to past relationships. I will clear my slate so I am free to love and be loved.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
[QUOTE=Live;2842366Today, I will begin the process of letting go of all self-defeating feelings and beliefs connected to past relationships. I will clear my slate so I am free to love and be loved.[/QUOTE]
This was and is a challenge -
Not only to allow Mr. Pink Acres to love me - but to allow ME to love me! And to not be filled with so much fear that love will be taken away from me in an instant.
Thanks for posting Live!
This was and is a challenge -
Not only to allow Mr. Pink Acres to love me - but to allow ME to love me! And to not be filled with so much fear that love will be taken away from me in an instant.
Thanks for posting Live!
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Rita))) - she had permission to use his card number and always told him when she used it. He and I talked, before I went to work and he said he is going to talk to her about her attitude toward me. I told him I don't think it will help, it may make things worse (especially when she finds out I told him she was taking pills), but it was up to him.
Today's reading is another one, right on time. Struggling with. Though it's about relationships, I read it more as my relationship with ME. This studying nurse stuff is bring all sorts of feelings to the surface, and I'm doing my best to get through it. It doesn't help that I need to clone myself to get everything done that I need to do.
On a good note, I had a customer in line and by the time he got to me, the first thing he said was "you have excellent customer service skills....one can't help but smile with you"
I talked to my aunt about my tooth. She asked if I get my mail or is it "intercepted". I told her, no, I get my mail...no one messes with it. I'd told her I've decided to ask my cousins for money for my tooth. I HATE having to ask, especially when they did so much for me when I was up there, but I don't see any choice. When I mentioned asking one couple, Phyllis said "they'd give you the money, not loan it to you". I'll wait to see what she's up to, then send them all e-mails and ask for help. They love me dearly, they're proud of me, and I'm pretty sure they will come through.
Work was good, brought Elvis some chicken nuggets home, which he devoured (less the breading), and I'm checking in here, then going to sleep.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Today's reading is another one, right on time. Struggling with. Though it's about relationships, I read it more as my relationship with ME. This studying nurse stuff is bring all sorts of feelings to the surface, and I'm doing my best to get through it. It doesn't help that I need to clone myself to get everything done that I need to do.
On a good note, I had a customer in line and by the time he got to me, the first thing he said was "you have excellent customer service skills....one can't help but smile with you"
I talked to my aunt about my tooth. She asked if I get my mail or is it "intercepted". I told her, no, I get my mail...no one messes with it. I'd told her I've decided to ask my cousins for money for my tooth. I HATE having to ask, especially when they did so much for me when I was up there, but I don't see any choice. When I mentioned asking one couple, Phyllis said "they'd give you the money, not loan it to you". I'll wait to see what she's up to, then send them all e-mails and ask for help. They love me dearly, they're proud of me, and I'm pretty sure they will come through.
Work was good, brought Elvis some chicken nuggets home, which he devoured (less the breading), and I'm checking in here, then going to sleep.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
I know this is tomorrow's reading but I really like it thought ya'll might enjoy it!!
Sharing Experience Strength & Hope in Nar-Anon
Kindness January 26
Genuine kindness is difficult to give to another, and virtually impossible if I have not yet learned to receive it. Prior to Nar-Anon, I had trained myself to suspect and question everything, especially an act of kindness. Everything had a price. As a newcomer to the program, I brought with me that “kindness has a price” attitude. I found members who offered me their kindness through sharing, nods, smile and even hugs. I wondered what they wanted from me. What was their price? I felt uncomfortable with all of the unconditional kindness. Fortunately, I was encouraged to keep coming back in such a friendly way that I felt that they really wanted me to join. Little by little, I kept coming back, and shared my story, my nods, my smiles, my laughter, and yes, even my hugs. It made me feel good. I was getting a gift as well as giving one.
It took some time, but I finally realize that genuine kindness has no price. To receive a smile, a hug, a shared laugh “just because” is a gift, truly a gift from the heart with no price tag attached.
Thought for Today: Acceptance is the highest form of kindness that I can give. Allowing others to be who they are without my judgment of whether that is good or bad, frees them and me of the burden of trying to change them to meet my expectations.
“We ask only for the grace to release our addicts with love, and cease trying to change them.” ~ Nar-Anon Blue Booklet.
Sharing Experience Strength & Hope in Nar-Anon
Kindness January 26
Genuine kindness is difficult to give to another, and virtually impossible if I have not yet learned to receive it. Prior to Nar-Anon, I had trained myself to suspect and question everything, especially an act of kindness. Everything had a price. As a newcomer to the program, I brought with me that “kindness has a price” attitude. I found members who offered me their kindness through sharing, nods, smile and even hugs. I wondered what they wanted from me. What was their price? I felt uncomfortable with all of the unconditional kindness. Fortunately, I was encouraged to keep coming back in such a friendly way that I felt that they really wanted me to join. Little by little, I kept coming back, and shared my story, my nods, my smiles, my laughter, and yes, even my hugs. It made me feel good. I was getting a gift as well as giving one.
It took some time, but I finally realize that genuine kindness has no price. To receive a smile, a hug, a shared laugh “just because” is a gift, truly a gift from the heart with no price tag attached.
Thought for Today: Acceptance is the highest form of kindness that I can give. Allowing others to be who they are without my judgment of whether that is good or bad, frees them and me of the burden of trying to change them to meet my expectations.
“We ask only for the grace to release our addicts with love, and cease trying to change them.” ~ Nar-Anon Blue Booklet.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Allowing others to be who they are without my judgment of whether that is good or bad, frees them and me of the burden of trying to change them to meet my expectations.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I was, again, reminded of what good friends I have. When I got my check for doing the stores, I got an extra $25 for "gas money" The power point presentations I needed to print out for class came to 350 pages! Tess told me how to shrink them down, a LOT, and so far the ink is holding up.
Have been talking with dad and stepmom, and Brit was taking calls, letters from her dad. He's told her all kinds of lies. Her bf's father finally told her "what has he EVER done for you in your life?" She said "nothing". He asked "and what do you think he's GOING to do for you?" She said "nothing". He told her "stop taking the damned calls, tear up his letters and stop listening to anything he says" and, according to bf's mom, she has.
I know some truths that I will eventually tell her...like why he isn't on her birth certificate (he threatened to leave her mama, take her and she'd never see her mama again). I'll tell her when the time is right.
Dad is on several trips...won't be home until Thu. Had to buy a new printer as his other one just stopped working on all our computers, and I've tried to set it up 4 times but it won't work. Luckily, I have MY cheap little printer, working just fine.
About to get ready for school. Have to stop by and get my work schedule and get Elvis his medicine. He's not doing so well with this cold weather
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
The power point presentations I needed to print out for class came to 350 pages! Tess told me how to shrink them down, a LOT, and so far the ink is holding up. Have been talking with dad and stepmom, and Brit was taking calls, letters from her dad. He's told her all kinds of lies. Her bf's father finally told her "what has he EVER done for you in your life?" She said "nothing". He asked "and what do you think he's GOING to do for you?" She said "nothing". He told her "stop taking the damned calls, tear up his letters and stop listening to anything he says" and, according to bf's mom, she has.
I know some truths that I will eventually tell her...like why he isn't on her birth certificate (he threatened to leave her mama, take her and she'd never see her mama again). I'll tell her when the time is right.
Dad is on several trips...won't be home until Thu. Had to buy a new printer as his other one just stopped working on all our computers, and I've tried to set it up 4 times but it won't work. Luckily, I have MY cheap little printer, working just fine.
About to get ready for school. Have to stop by and get my work schedule and get Elvis his medicine. He's not doing so well with this cold weather
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 346
We ask only for the grace to release our addicts with love, and cease trying to change them.” ~ Nar-Anon Blue Booklet.
Now that, my dears, is a very difficult thing for this ole controller to do....to release my AH and my AS to their devices and not try to get them to change...to sober up...to live clean...to be successful. Goes so against my programming.
I listened to a very wise woman's CD last evening tell the audience that enabling a loved one not yet in recovery actually disrespects them. It tells them you do not have the confidence in them that they have everything they need within them to solve the problem they are in. That was mind-blowing to me. That not funneling my son money, or not checking up on grades, etc was healthy for him, because then he has to do it himself and take the pride or responsibility for whatever happpens next. Beautiful.
I have an appointment with a new therapist next Wednesday. Ive researched her and she is supposed to be good. Have struck out with the 4th lawyer I've tried to start divorce proceedings. Apparently now is not the time, but I will continue trying to see which doors HP will have me walking through now.
(((Amy))) Doesn't surprise me that people perceive you as being great at customer service. Your light shines brightly here...and I can't even see your face. Hopefully...someday!
(((Chino))) Im so glad you are able to give and accept kindness freely now. I'm not quite there yet, but it sounds heavenly.
(((Lisa))) You're little campout sounds wonderful. Protect that heart of yours, though for it is precious.
(((Live))) Love your gardening passion. I have no place to have one now either, but back in green bay I had a huge one with corn, and canteloupe, and carrots, and onions, and peppers and even sunflowers. It was a pain to weed...but so fun in the fall for the kids.
(((Anna))) Hugs to you and lots of love and light
(((Pink))) Thanks for the wise words
Love
Love you all. Continue sending prayers please for mom. She started another round of chemo Friday and the tumors are not shrinking...so we play it one day at a time.
Annie
Now that, my dears, is a very difficult thing for this ole controller to do....to release my AH and my AS to their devices and not try to get them to change...to sober up...to live clean...to be successful. Goes so against my programming.
I listened to a very wise woman's CD last evening
tell the audience that enabling a loved one not yet in recovery actually disrespects them. It tells them you do not have the confidence in them that they have everything they need within them to solve the problem they are in. That was mind-blowing to me. That not funneling my son money, or not checking up on grades, etc was healthy for him, because then he has to do it himself and take the pride or responsibility for whatever happpens next. Beautiful.I have an appointment with a new therapist next Wednesday. Ive researched her and she is supposed to be good. Have struck out with the 4th lawyer I've tried to start divorce proceedings. Apparently now is not the time, but I will continue trying to see which doors HP will have me walking through now.
(((Amy))) Doesn't surprise me that people perceive you as being great at customer service. Your light shines brightly here...and I can't even see your face. Hopefully...someday!
(((Chino))) Im so glad you are able to give and accept kindness freely now. I'm not quite there yet, but it sounds heavenly.
(((Lisa))) You're little campout sounds wonderful. Protect that heart of yours, though for it is precious.
(((Live))) Love your gardening passion. I have no place to have one now either, but back in green bay I had a huge one with corn, and canteloupe, and carrots, and onions, and peppers and even sunflowers. It was a pain to weed...but so fun in the fall for the kids.
(((Anna))) Hugs to you and lots of love and light
(((Pink))) Thanks for the wise words
LoveLove you all. Continue sending prayers please for mom. She started another round of chemo Friday and the tumors are not shrinking...so we play it one day at a time.
Annie
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Amy, I just found out that my husband won some money in Vegas. He didn't bother telling me about it earlier because he didn't know it mattered to me. It came up in conversation when I was ribbing him about covering his losses with my small jackpot.
So why am I telling you this? Because I said if I won a mega jackpot, I was paying for your tooth. Well, I didn't win enough to cover that, but I did end up coming out ahead. In the interest of maintaining good karma, I'm sending the extra to you. I posted this publicly because I said it publicly, and I don't like bad juju
You don't get to say no, I made the deal with HP in mind. I'm mailing it to you and if you don't want it, donate it to your favorite charity
So why am I telling you this? Because I said if I won a mega jackpot, I was paying for your tooth. Well, I didn't win enough to cover that, but I did end up coming out ahead. In the interest of maintaining good karma, I'm sending the extra to you. I posted this publicly because I said it publicly, and I don't like bad juju
You don't get to say no, I made the deal with HP in mind. I'm mailing it to you and if you don't want it, donate it to your favorite charity
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Chino))) - OMG, I am crying tears of gratitude. Thank you, so much...not just for this, but for all the times you've been there for me. There just aren't words to tell you how I feel, but my heart has a really warm, fuzzy feeling
(((Annie))) - I'm glad you listened to the CD, as I have a feeling who it is of I've been trying to explain, to dad and stepmom, the same thing...that enabling Brit is only hurting her, but I don't think it's gotten through. We have been able to have some really good conversations.
Dad got a new printer and after messing with it, earlier today, and again after class I have it ALMOST working...don't have the fax thing fixed, but I told him I was done with it for tonight.
Class was really good. I still don't know why, but I came out of there feeling great. Is it because I'm familiar with a lot of the info, but still need to study (A&P - anatomy & physiology); is it because I'm in a class with people more my age; is it because my instructor used to work for the Falcons and we discuss football when talking about bone injuries; or is it because one of my classmates was in a vehicle that got blown up by a land mine...he wasn't able to walk for a while, but he's okay now?
My instructor has a good sense of humor, but he also makes it clear that we are adults, and we are expected to act that way...don't show up late, the door will be locked...when we get through with the test, next week, "get the he!! out..I'm not going to make you absorb new stuff right after a test".
Whatever, I feel revived. I "wrote" a letter to Brit, in my head, on the way to class. I told her memories of her mom, the day she was born, and other things. I know, in my heart, that we'll be okay, it's just going to take time, and I may have to detach, for a long time, but I know she knows how much I love her. I've seen it here, and said it...they take stuff out on the ones who are "safe"...who are going to love them no matter what. I was finally able to let go of the hurt feelings.
I got Elvis his medicine. I don't think he feels very well, so am hoping this peps him up. He's snuggled up to his lamp, right now...just like he did last winter.
Oh, and funny thing..when I went by work, to get my schedule, the person working the front counter was the store owner, and the store mgr was also running around? I told them to have a great evening, as I walked out the door!
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy
(((Annie))) - I'm glad you listened to the CD, as I have a feeling who it is of
I've been trying to explain, to dad and stepmom, the same thing...that enabling Brit is only hurting her, but I don't think it's gotten through. We have been able to have some really good conversations.Dad got a new printer and after messing with it, earlier today, and again after class I have it ALMOST working...don't have the fax thing fixed, but I told him I was done with it for tonight.
Class was really good. I still don't know why, but I came out of there feeling great. Is it because I'm familiar with a lot of the info, but still need to study (A&P - anatomy & physiology); is it because I'm in a class with people more my age; is it because my instructor used to work for the Falcons and we discuss football when talking about bone injuries; or is it because one of my classmates was in a vehicle that got blown up by a land mine...he wasn't able to walk for a while, but he's okay now?
My instructor has a good sense of humor, but he also makes it clear that we are adults, and we are expected to act that way...don't show up late, the door will be locked...when we get through with the test, next week, "get the he!! out..I'm not going to make you absorb new stuff right after a test".
Whatever, I feel revived. I "wrote" a letter to Brit, in my head, on the way to class. I told her memories of her mom, the day she was born, and other things. I know, in my heart, that we'll be okay, it's just going to take time, and I may have to detach, for a long time, but I know she knows how much I love her. I've seen it here, and said it...they take stuff out on the ones who are "safe"...who are going to love them no matter what. I was finally able to let go of the hurt feelings.
I got Elvis his medicine. I don't think he feels very well, so am hoping this peps him up. He's snuggled up to his lamp, right now...just like he did last winter.
Oh, and funny thing..when I went by work, to get my schedule, the person working the front counter was the store owner, and the store mgr was also running around? I told them to have a great evening, as I walked out the door!
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((Annie)) prayers of peace, comfort & healing for your Mom!! Asking for God's direction, guidance and peace for you in the divorce situation - it's difficult when you know you want something & yet you feel God is shutting those doors but I know for me - when my God opened them - everything feel into place like clock work.
((Chino)) what a blessing you are - not only to Amy but to all of us!! May the continued blessing keep coming your way!!
((Amy)) - Please give my favorite Elvis an extra hug from me - hope he feels better soon! Glad you are enjoying your classes ~ I know that your God will lead you to the right time to share with Brit the info you have for her - I pray her heart is open to hear it!
Read this quote today:
Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties." ~ Helen Keller
So my Friends - You, Your God and Your Joy - Face today with a spirit of confidence and Don't allow anyone to steal your LIFE!!!
PINK HUGS!
Rita
((Chino)) what a blessing you are - not only to Amy but to all of us!! May the continued blessing keep coming your way!!
((Amy)) - Please give my favorite Elvis an extra hug from me - hope he feels better soon! Glad you are enjoying your classes ~ I know that your God will lead you to the right time to share with Brit the info you have for her - I pray her heart is open to hear it!
Read this quote today:
Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties." ~ Helen Keller
So my Friends - You, Your God and Your Joy - Face today with a spirit of confidence and Don't allow anyone to steal your LIFE!!!
PINK HUGS!
Rita
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
I've been so fortunate that I've not ever depended on winning when I gamble. I do it for the thrill and a little greed, of course. I've known from the start I have addictive personality traits. I had instant success 20 years ago and I can't wait to play every time I go there.
So, trying to check myself, I started playing for reasons. "If I win, I'll give it to so and so" or I'd buy a bigger ticket item I wanted but in good conscience wasn't willing to pay for myself. One year, I came out ahead by $100 but kept the money instead of doing what I said I was going to do. I had VERY bad luck the next time I played.
My husband started doing the same thing and played for my cousin this year; I'm so glad he only broke even. I guess the powers that be took care of that issue. It would be enabling to give her any money right now and I really wish he worked some kind of program.
Anyway, as soon as my husband filled me in, I was thinking oh crap... AMY!!!... I gotta keep my karma right. I don't even like that it's going to take a couple more days before it gets there! I'm kind of picturing karma as a nun dressed in full black habit, tapping a ruler against the palm of her hand, waiting to smack me
Rita, I agree it's a blessing. It's house money, free, and it's not possible to earn or deserve free. I just have to keep doing my part, enjoy the momentary thrill, and then let it go. Amy, you are helping me keep things balanced in my world
So, trying to check myself, I started playing for reasons. "If I win, I'll give it to so and so" or I'd buy a bigger ticket item I wanted but in good conscience wasn't willing to pay for myself. One year, I came out ahead by $100 but kept the money instead of doing what I said I was going to do. I had VERY bad luck the next time I played.
My husband started doing the same thing and played for my cousin this year; I'm so glad he only broke even. I guess the powers that be took care of that issue. It would be enabling to give her any money right now and I really wish he worked some kind of program.
Anyway, as soon as my husband filled me in, I was thinking oh crap... AMY!!!... I gotta keep my karma right. I don't even like that it's going to take a couple more days before it gets there! I'm kind of picturing karma as a nun dressed in full black habit, tapping a ruler against the palm of her hand, waiting to smack me
Rita, I agree it's a blessing. It's house money, free, and it's not possible to earn or deserve free. I just have to keep doing my part, enjoy the momentary thrill, and then let it go. Amy, you are helping me keep things balanced in my world
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
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Posts: 4,482
Today's reading from my inbox:
There have been so many times I've heard, read, and said what goes up must come down. Then one day I read something a little different, that a wheel goes round and round, up and down, but the axle never moves. It always stays centered. I decided that day I would try to be the axle, and I succeeded for quite a while. Then one of the spokes broke (RAD) and I tried to be the Wagon Master. Not my job!
Annie, I don't always have a lot to say to you, but I pay attention. It seems to me you're moving towards the center of all these cycles and circles, you're becoming your own axle. You're finding balance
Elder's Meditation of the Day - January 26
"All life is a circle."
-- Rolling Thunder, CHEROKEE
The atom is a circle, orbits are circles, the earth, moon, and sun are circles. The seasons are circles. The cycle of life is a circle: baby, youth, adult, elder. The sun gives life to the earth who feeds life to the trees whose seeds fall to the earth to grow new trees. We need to practice seeing the cycles that the Great Spirit gave us because this will help us more in our understanding of how things operate. We need to respect these cycles and live in harmony with them.
Great Spirit, let me grow in knowledge of the circle.
"All life is a circle."
-- Rolling Thunder, CHEROKEE
The atom is a circle, orbits are circles, the earth, moon, and sun are circles. The seasons are circles. The cycle of life is a circle: baby, youth, adult, elder. The sun gives life to the earth who feeds life to the trees whose seeds fall to the earth to grow new trees. We need to practice seeing the cycles that the Great Spirit gave us because this will help us more in our understanding of how things operate. We need to respect these cycles and live in harmony with them.
Great Spirit, let me grow in knowledge of the circle.
Annie, I don't always have a lot to say to you, but I pay attention. It seems to me you're moving towards the center of all these cycles and circles, you're becoming your own axle. You're finding balance
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Rita))) - Elvis does seem a little better..he's terrorizing the other cats He absolutely LOVES it when I hold him and say "do you know how many people love you?" and then I go through this list (you are auntie Rita), and he just burrows into my neck and purrs louder than ever.
(((Chino))) - SR has taught me about "paying it forward" and it IS an awesome feeling. Someone, here, sent me money a couple of times (like when I got robbed) and I was absolutely overwhelmed with gratitude. I was told "I don't want it back", so when I got a little extra $$, I sent some money to another friend here, who was really struggling, and I enrolled her in a medical foundation thing that can help her with her medical stuff. There's just nothing like being able to pay it forward.
I've also found it doesn't have to be money....kindness to strangers, "being there" when someone needs a shoulder to cry on or vent....it all has taken me to a level of gratitude and appreciation that I can't even explain.
Speaking of gambling, I think my uncle (dad's brother) has crossed into addiction. My aunt is really sick...valley fever and lupus and has to check herself into the hospital quite frequently. My cousin (their son) has hepatitis and is on a liver transplant list. They have a ton of money, but uncle J deals with all of this by heading to the casino, when he's not working. Dad is angry, and I told him he probably needs to keep that to himself, as uncle J is very hardheaded and stubborn. I love him, but he has his issues, just as dad has.
Stepmom is having similar symptoms she had when my g'ma was here...she gets her "nerves" so worked up, she's having stomach issues. I told her what I know, even read up on it, what is recommended (which she won't do - drink 8-10 glasses of water, increase fiber, get up and move!) but did suggest the least she could do is eat rice...it's bland, it's fiber. I then told her "call dad and tell him you need to go to the dr. I can't fix this" and have let it go.
I got my study guide, but am about to go to work, so will start working on it when I get home. I'm actually looking forward to it
(((Annie))) - I forgot to tell you that I told mom-Kay about your mom, and I know here...your mom is in a LOT of prayers, in addition to mine, as are you.
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy
He absolutely LOVES it when I hold him and say "do you know how many people love you?" and then I go through this list (you are auntie Rita), and he just burrows into my neck and purrs louder than ever.(((Chino))) - SR has taught me about "paying it forward" and it IS an awesome feeling. Someone, here, sent me money a couple of times (like when I got robbed) and I was absolutely overwhelmed with gratitude. I was told "I don't want it back", so when I got a little extra $$, I sent some money to another friend here, who was really struggling, and I enrolled her in a medical foundation thing that can help her with her medical stuff. There's just nothing like being able to pay it forward.
I've also found it doesn't have to be money....kindness to strangers, "being there" when someone needs a shoulder to cry on or vent....it all has taken me to a level of gratitude and appreciation that I can't even explain.
Speaking of gambling, I think my uncle (dad's brother) has crossed into addiction. My aunt is really sick...valley fever and lupus and has to check herself into the hospital quite frequently. My cousin (their son) has hepatitis and is on a liver transplant list. They have a ton of money, but uncle J deals with all of this by heading to the casino, when he's not working. Dad is angry, and I told him he probably needs to keep that to himself, as uncle J is very hardheaded and stubborn. I love him, but he has his issues, just as dad has.
Stepmom is having similar symptoms she had when my g'ma was here...she gets her "nerves" so worked up, she's having stomach issues. I told her what I know, even read up on it, what is recommended (which she won't do - drink 8-10 glasses of water, increase fiber, get up and move!) but did suggest the least she could do is eat rice...it's bland, it's fiber. I then told her "call dad and tell him you need to go to the dr. I can't fix this" and have let it go.
I got my study guide, but am about to go to work, so will start working on it when I get home. I'm actually looking forward to it
(((Annie))) - I forgot to tell you that I told mom-Kay about your mom, and I know here...your mom is in a LOT of prayers, in addition to mine, as are you.
Love, hugs, and prayers,
Amy
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
Annie, continued prayers for your Mom, of course. I wish cancer treatments could be easier, gentler, more effective. So, if now is not the time to proceed with the divorce, I hope you can find a way to move forward.
Chino, your generosity is an example of the deep bonds that we form here with each other.
Amy, hugs for Elvis to feel better. And, you are so kind and thoughtful with Brit. And, I think that simple acts of kindness are always paid forward.
Rita, your pinkness always reminds me that happiness is a choice.
Chino, your generosity is an example of the deep bonds that we form here with each other.
Amy, hugs for Elvis to feel better. And, you are so kind and thoughtful with Brit. And, I think that simple acts of kindness are always paid forward.
Rita, your pinkness always reminds me that happiness is a choice.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 346
((((Chino, Amy, Live, Anna, Rita, Lisa, and everyone who posts here)))
Two years ago (and several moments since then) I thought my world was over. I wanted it to be. But I searched online to see if I could find some site...some blog...some forum that could help me have some hope in the darkness I felt all around me.
I found you all, and I will be forever grateful. Most people don't understand how a group of people I've never seen could be so healing for me...but you truly have helped me climb out of my deepest depths. You have introduced me to the the concepts of detachment with love, and setting boundaries, and taking care of myself, and have led me back to a glimmer of faith in a HP. These are all tools I didn't have in my toolbox...but now I have them and they are helping me build a better future.
I had an hour drive tonight, coming back from meeting son for dinner in his college town and I was overwhelmed with tears...not because anything was wrong...but because I finally realized that somehow, in his time and way, he will be ok. The tears were, I think my final tears of letting him go...my final goodbye to my little boy. Sad, yes, but also healing. I'm not mad at him anymore. I released him to his HP tonight and then turned on the radio and asked God to send me some kind of message. A preacher came on and talked about how sometimes God makes us wait for answers because we are not ready for the answer. Sometimes we have to get something right in our lives, or learn lessons, or simply strengthen our relationship to HP before we are ready for the blessings in our future.
I spent the last half hour thinking and feeling grateful for all of you. Just wanted you all to know how much of an impact you have had on a little old lonely lady in South Dakota.
THANK YOU
Annie
Two years ago (and several moments since then) I thought my world was over. I wanted it to be. But I searched online to see if I could find some site...some blog...some forum that could help me have some hope in the darkness I felt all around me.
I found you all, and I will be forever grateful. Most people don't understand how a group of people I've never seen could be so healing for me...but you truly have helped me climb out of my deepest depths. You have introduced me to the the concepts of detachment with love, and setting boundaries, and taking care of myself, and have led me back to a glimmer of faith in a HP. These are all tools I didn't have in my toolbox...but now I have them and they are helping me build a better future.
I had an hour drive tonight, coming back from meeting son for dinner in his college town and I was overwhelmed with tears...not because anything was wrong...but because I finally realized that somehow, in his time and way, he will be ok. The tears were, I think my final tears of letting him go...my final goodbye to my little boy. Sad, yes, but also healing. I'm not mad at him anymore. I released him to his HP tonight and then turned on the radio and asked God to send me some kind of message. A preacher came on and talked about how sometimes God makes us wait for answers because we are not ready for the answer. Sometimes we have to get something right in our lives, or learn lessons, or simply strengthen our relationship to HP before we are ready for the blessings in our future.
I spent the last half hour thinking and feeling grateful for all of you. Just wanted you all to know how much of an impact you have had on a little old lonely lady in South Dakota.
THANK YOU
Annie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Annie))) - I understand about the finally letting go, as much as I can, because that's what I felt with Brit last night. I'm going to try, one more time, to gently place her in HP's hands, and not keeping sticking my nose in His business.
I think that's pretty cool about turning the radio on and hearing that preacher. Don't think THAT was a coincidence!
I, too, am often in awe of how close we all are, how we are always here for each other, and how much we learn from each other.
I had to laugh, on the way home. I was thinking about studying, was singing along with a song on the radio and suddenly realized the song was "cocaine". I just laughed, said "no way, jose'" and changed the station.
I did text Brit tonight to tell her her W-2 was here, and signed it "love you". She just texted back "ok", but that's all right. At least she's moved on from "lose my number *****"
I was telling M, tonight, about the issue with my drawer, the other night, and he said "C no longer works here". It blew me away. Don't get me wrong, I don't trust her with $$, but I do like her and we work well together. What I don't get is that she told another coworker that they told her she couldn't work there because she "couldn't run a shift and was too friendly with the customers". Um, first of all, how can it be a bad thing to be too friendly with customers? Secondly, she runs the shift just fine.
They gave her the option to go to another store..one she used to be store mgr at, but my store owner took that away.
I just don't get these people, some times. I sure hope I'M not going to get fired for being too friendly, but M really loves working with me, so I think I'm safe. He actually asked me what I was going to school for, about my other degrees and said he wanted to do something, what did I suggest? I told him healthcare mgmt, as healthcare is only going to continue to grow. I told him about the difficulties I had going to school, can't get loans and he said "but you are doing the right thing...you won't be in a lot of debt when you get out". I told him I had a 4.0 and he said "wow!!" It was another one of those incidences when talking to a peer on a, basically, even level felt really good.
Elvis is squished between his lamp and the wall, and seems happy. Stepmom is the same, and no, she didn't eat any rice. Surviving on cokes and cigarettes. I care, but it's NMP.
I'm going to check a few more threads then get to studying.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I think that's pretty cool about turning the radio on and hearing that preacher. Don't think THAT was a coincidence!
I, too, am often in awe of how close we all are, how we are always here for each other, and how much we learn from each other.
I had to laugh, on the way home. I was thinking about studying, was singing along with a song on the radio and suddenly realized the song was "cocaine". I just laughed, said "no way, jose'" and changed the station.
I did text Brit tonight to tell her her W-2 was here, and signed it "love you". She just texted back "ok", but that's all right. At least she's moved on from "lose my number *****"
I was telling M, tonight, about the issue with my drawer, the other night, and he said "C no longer works here". It blew me away. Don't get me wrong, I don't trust her with $$, but I do like her and we work well together. What I don't get is that she told another coworker that they told her she couldn't work there because she "couldn't run a shift and was too friendly with the customers". Um, first of all, how can it be a bad thing to be too friendly with customers? Secondly, she runs the shift just fine.
They gave her the option to go to another store..one she used to be store mgr at, but my store owner took that away.
I just don't get these people, some times. I sure hope I'M not going to get fired for being too friendly, but M really loves working with me, so I think I'm safe. He actually asked me what I was going to school for, about my other degrees and said he wanted to do something, what did I suggest? I told him healthcare mgmt, as healthcare is only going to continue to grow. I told him about the difficulties I had going to school, can't get loans and he said "but you are doing the right thing...you won't be in a lot of debt when you get out". I told him I had a 4.0 and he said "wow!!" It was another one of those incidences when talking to a peer on a, basically, even level felt really good.
Elvis is squished between his lamp and the wall, and seems happy. Stepmom is the same, and no, she didn't eat any rice. Surviving on cokes and cigarettes. I care, but it's NMP.
I'm going to check a few more threads then get to studying.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
first night at the new house, and I am in a bit of fear. things deviated a bit from my plan (duh), but just coming here and reading has a calming effect on me.
went to see a fellow from AA do an acoustic set at a coffee shop, and the tat artist was there. he maintain that he is interested, but I am ready to push for a change in any direction. i text him and told him I didnt need to be in his top ten priority list today, but i wanted to know if world peace was more likely than us spending alone time.
went to see a fellow from AA do an acoustic set at a coffee shop, and the tat artist was there. he maintain that he is interested, but I am ready to push for a change in any direction. i text him and told him I didnt need to be in his top ten priority list today, but i wanted to know if world peace was more likely than us spending alone time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((((Lisa)))) - glad you are at your new house. As far as tat-man, I'd have to go by his actions, not his words. That doesn't just apply to A's, you know. Maybe he IS the right guy, but HP is making you slow down a bit?
I just finished typing up 21 pages of notes for ONE chapter that I have to take a test on, tomorrow. I really hope it all got through to my brain, enough, that if I don't know the answer, I can remember where it is in my notes or book. I'd be totally freaking out if it was an "in class" test, which is what I have to study for after taking the test.
It's almost 6 a.m., I've been at this for hours, and am about to climb into bed with Mots and Elvis.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I just finished typing up 21 pages of notes for ONE chapter that I have to take a test on, tomorrow. I really hope it all got through to my brain, enough, that if I don't know the answer, I can remember where it is in my notes or book. I'd be totally freaking out if it was an "in class" test, which is what I have to study for after taking the test.
It's almost 6 a.m., I've been at this for hours, and am about to climb into bed with Mots and Elvis.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((Annie)) ~ You are such a wonderful friend - this place was my my retreat for a long time too - along with my f2f meetings; then my God open doors for more meetings, women's retreats, conventions. Did you know that I have even met a couple of the people here on this site???????? It's amazing HOW God worked that out!!!!! It just feel into place like clock work!!
((Lisa)) glad you are in your new place but I'm sure it is a little uncomfortable at first - hope it gets better soon!! The comment about world peace made me laugh - I love your sense of humor - it is the best!! Hope you & Mr. Tats figure ya'lls deal out soon!
Amy - you are a beacon of light no matter where you go - sharing your e, s, & H - about school may even get this person to consider going back to school - how great!! anything we do to improve ourselves is an awesome thing!!
I had to smile when you said crawling in bed with Elvis - A dream of MINE - oh wait - maybe a different Elvis - hmmmm - shame on me!!!! (bwah ha ha ha ha ha)
Just keep loving Brit from a distance - I think she will be ok - just needs that time for the rebel yrs - like some kids do - I truly think she will be back and in a better place - YOU & HER were too close for it not to happen - we at least that's my prayer!!!
((Anna)) - I do choose to be Happy, Joyous and PINKFULLY Free - because It's just a better way to live - I pray that each of you are able to make the same choice!!!
LOVE & PINK HUGS TO ALL!!
((Lisa)) glad you are in your new place but I'm sure it is a little uncomfortable at first - hope it gets better soon!! The comment about world peace made me laugh - I love your sense of humor - it is the best!! Hope you & Mr. Tats figure ya'lls deal out soon!
Amy - you are a beacon of light no matter where you go - sharing your e, s, & H - about school may even get this person to consider going back to school - how great!! anything we do to improve ourselves is an awesome thing!!
I had to smile when you said crawling in bed with Elvis - A dream of MINE - oh wait - maybe a different Elvis - hmmmm - shame on me!!!! (bwah ha ha ha ha ha)
Just keep loving Brit from a distance - I think she will be ok - just needs that time for the rebel yrs - like some kids do - I truly think she will be back and in a better place - YOU & HER were too close for it not to happen - we at least that's my prayer!!!
((Anna)) - I do choose to be Happy, Joyous and PINKFULLY Free - because It's just a better way to live - I pray that each of you are able to make the same choice!!!
LOVE & PINK HUGS TO ALL!!
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