Keith is gone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: punta gorda florida
Posts: 381
Keith is gone
Keith died yesterday morning around 7am. He lived 2 days after being taken off the vent. I cried for a few minutes and took his girls and their mom to the hospital to say good bye. I didn't go in. I did not feel the need. I am fine with his passing, looking back over the last few months, I realize he was deep in addiction although at the time, I truly did not know until 6 weeks ago when I saw him with the crackhead on the back of his motorcycle at midnite. I am so fortunate, my sister flew in from Jersey, My daughter stayed home from work, picked me up [I lent my car to Keiths kids}I did work a few hours in the morning, it helped. His ex and the girls leave monday. I am having a problem with the deceit that I didn't see coming. First of all, the issue of the hepititis C that I wasn't aware of, then I opened my home depot credit card bill and found a $50 dollar gift card purchase for last month[not mine], and got a call from a collection agency , We had a joint checking for a short amt of time when we bought this house together. I thought I had destroyed the checks when we closed that account over a year ago. Well apparently, Keith kept a book of checks and there are 12 missing. Two of these checks have already been sent to credit collections, one has been forwarded to the state attorney...He signed them, but the original account was in both our names and I am responsible. I called the bank and the attorney that wrote up our agreements with the house. I feel like I have been physically assaulted from the grave..The lies, deceit, and filth he has brought into my life are appalling. I did not see this coming. One minute I grieve and the next I am so angry at him for his lies. Why does it seem that these addicts are so warm and caring, we love them sooo much, they have a vulnerability in them that makes us melt, and the next minute, they are stealing from us???This man did not even allow me to grieve him, I am now looking at defending myself from bounced checks, and possible hep C...Its funny, I don't hate him, I pity him and wish him peace..Marian
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
mairian, i am so sorry. i am sorry for him,another one lost to addiction. addicts are sick people, mentally,physically,& spritiualy. may he rest in peace & may your H.P.give you the strength to get your thru all of this.my prayers are with you.please come back & let us know how you are doing.hugs,hope
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
((patchoulli))
First of all, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm not real good at words of comfort. Just know my heart breaks for you and your family.
It also sounds like you may be in a bit of shock. You have a whole lot of emotions that you will need to work your way through. Two greiving processes. One for his addiction and what it's done to you, the other for his death. It's normal for you to have the feelings that you are having.
It's also the most important time in your life, to put your mental and physical welfare at the very front of all your priorities. The hurt and pain runs deeper that you may realize right now.
Just know you are in my prayers
B
First of all, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm not real good at words of comfort. Just know my heart breaks for you and your family.
It also sounds like you may be in a bit of shock. You have a whole lot of emotions that you will need to work your way through. Two greiving processes. One for his addiction and what it's done to you, the other for his death. It's normal for you to have the feelings that you are having.
It's also the most important time in your life, to put your mental and physical welfare at the very front of all your priorities. The hurt and pain runs deeper that you may realize right now.
Just know you are in my prayers
B
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Patch, My thoughts and prayers are with you and all who loved Keith.
The person who did those things, the person who hurt you was the addict whose mind was distorted by the disease of addiction, not the sweet person who was lost somewhere inside but who loved you and didn't love the way he had become.
Remember that person, Patch, the good person inside. That's the real Keith, that's the person who suffers no more and rests in the arms of God. May his good memories live in your heart forever.
Hugs
The person who did those things, the person who hurt you was the addict whose mind was distorted by the disease of addiction, not the sweet person who was lost somewhere inside but who loved you and didn't love the way he had become.
Remember that person, Patch, the good person inside. That's the real Keith, that's the person who suffers no more and rests in the arms of God. May his good memories live in your heart forever.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Texarkana, Texas
Posts: 585
Patchouli, LIke the others, I am sorry for the grief that you are experiencing now. The rage at finding out the other crap only adds to that. Just know that eventually, little by little, this will come to pass. It may seem like forever when it is going on, but a year from now you will see that things will be very different. LIfe is impermanent and ever-changing.
Hugs to you and peace.
Hugs to you and peace.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: homebased
Posts: 408
You are in my thoughts and prayers...
If possible take a breather from the chaos that will soon be yours to face and mourn the loss of someone you loved...
the addict is responsible for this pain to you ....
in the same way that any sick person leaves behind things to be settled
(not sure if that attitude helps you but thinking of addicts as sick people who are hurting is the only way I can process all that addiction does to us.....)
If possible take a breather from the chaos that will soon be yours to face and mourn the loss of someone you loved...
the addict is responsible for this pain to you ....
in the same way that any sick person leaves behind things to be settled
(not sure if that attitude helps you but thinking of addicts as sick people who are hurting is the only way I can process all that addiction does to us.....)
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