Lilya

I just found out that the place I bought last June is flawed. The heating system died in the living room and one of the other rooms.

I had no idea the problem is so big until my neighbour told me the guy who sold it to me had panicked when I put in an offer and hired some plumbers to fix it - unsuccessfully. She thought I knew about it and bought it according to a reduced selling prize.

I called the guy immediately and asked him who these plumbers were, since I wanted to talk to them.

He told me nothing was wrong, they had just come here to ask for work, were illegal immigrants and didn´t want to be found.

I told him I´didn´t work for Immigration and was not interested in their status, this was obviously a lie and I wanted him to fix it.

He told me no, there had been no problem when he sold me the flat.

I consulted an estate lawyer and got hold of the person who had estimated the flat before I bought it. He´s abroad, but told me he will do everything in his power to help me when he gets back.

This is upsetting, because I have been saving for this place for years.

Has anyone here had similar problems?

Love and light,

Lilya

Sometimes it´s good to expect bad things, because then you won´t be surprised. This is how I feel right now.

I tried once more to call the guy who sold me the appartment, and ask him about the so-called plumbers. He still claimed they were afraid of the police, which is just plain silly. My estate lawyer thought so too. We don´t care about their status and in any case, we think it´s just a plain lie.

There is not much I can do right now. Tuesday, the specialist who checked the place before I bought it, is coming to check to heating system - what he should have done in the first place - my neighbour will be a witness and then the specialist is going to talk to the seller.

My estate lawyer told me I had two options: Sue or have the heating system restored. Since it´s floorheated, they will need to break down the parquet, and it will cost a fortune. I must prepare to get a loan from the bank to pay for it.

I feel apprehensive about taking a big loan. I still have debts not fully payed up, and it means increasing the workload even more.

I don´t think I will sue. It is just too expensive and the outcome too uncertain.

I´m taking one day at a time.

Love and light,

scarlati

I'm sorry to hear all that. If you sue the person you bought the house from first you may be living without heat for quite a while. I don't know anything about French law, but in America you could take out the loan to have the work done right away and THEN sue the previous owner to reimburse you for the cost. If the condition of the house was misrepresented by the people you bought it from and your lawyer is telling you there's nothing you can do about it you should probably get a second opinion from another lawyer.

On the bright side, you still have your health. A week ago you thought you had AIDS. So if this is your biggest problem you're doing OK.

Lilya

Thanks, Scarlati.

Yes, I can still sue. It´s an option, but a difficult one. I know that it is much more easier to sue in the States. It´s a different system. Here the system is heavy and burocratic. We have to prove the previous owner lied to me and the state agent.

There is a lawyer in the family, an elderly man, retired. He is very ill, so I cannot consult with him. His daughter, my cousin, took over the praxis, so I will try to reach her when she comes back from abroad.

The real challenge is to be free of anxiety every day while going through this procedure. Knowing I´m healthy definately helps. I´m trying as best I can.

Love and light,

GailJ

I consulted an estate lawyer and got hold of the person who had estimated the flat before I bought it. He´s abroad, but told me he will do everything in his power to help me when he gets back.

Take this for what it is, positive, supportive and helpfull Live

I had no idea the problem is so big until my neighbour told me the guy who sold it to me had panicked when I put in an offer and hired some plumbers to fix it - unsuccessfully. She thought I knew about it and bought it according to a reduced selling prize.

See if she heard this first hand from the owner, or by hearsay, and i she would be willing to put it in writing or even testify if she is reliable and a good friend. Still it is more support for you Lil

I feel apprehensive about taking a big loan. I still have debts not fully payed up, and it means increasing the workload even more.

I don't know wat it is like in France either but one thing I learned being single and building our own house, is the debts will always be there and the financiers seem to rule the world. You can only pay to the best of your ability and banks love giving out more money, a good money lender will take into account your yearly income and try to make it manageable for you without having to increase your workload. I used to panick over money all the time but learned to accept the debt and took control without letting it send me into anx and panick, (Hubby hasn't learned that one yet)
Still you have support, you have backup from you neighbour and obviously a good rep with you finaces as well. Concentrate on the positives hun. They are there.

GailJ

GailJ

Lilya

(((Gail)))

Oh my God, they are adorable! They really made my day.

One of our cats is a bit orange too.

Yes, my neighbour is ready to testify against the guy who sold me the place. Apparently, he lied constantly to her.

I feel confident about getting a loan at the bank, so it shouldn´t be a problem.

Just came home from the first swim since I fell ill, and it was heaven. But I couldn´t swim as many lapses as before. As soon as I don´t go for two weeks, I am out of shape.

There is a woman who lives in a house not far from my backyard. She suffers from serious depression and doesn´t go out. The first week I was there, I went to introduce myself and give her a basket with fruits. She didn´t even take it and barely said hello. She is a constant reminder how difficult life can be if we refuse all help.

Gail, the kittens and the cats are so incredible! Thanks, I love it!

Love and light,

GailJ

hey You swim, I dance, feels geat. one of my many healing, activites and thoughts.
Frend and hubs tried dragging me down into their wallow today.

Escaped unscathed. Made a Halloween guy today on my porch looks awsome, and freaky.will pic and post. He's so cool...........
Right now I love my solitude.

The bears..........interesting subject,...... I am bigtime environmentalist and greenpeace supporter. Here on report of bear......everyone freaks. Truth is I live on the peak of a peninsua surrounded in water.Uni students estimate at least 5000 burrows yet no one sees them. Unique cause no cross breeding and very good at avoiding human contact. Very small black bear. burrows in really small cliff and hardword burrows. Like foxes, so smart and no danger at all.


Took a morning drive this mornig could of made a hundred jigsaw puzzles from. Going to talk hubs into it tommorow and podt the pics on my blog, beutiful......aweinspireing..
I prefer walking and appreciating the glory of he season but I get what I can and post it on my myspace blog.

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...F827C460975040 Luv ya Lil right now pobably my best friend.

Lilya

Thanks Gail.

I have heard of a lady who lived with bears, then started taking people to meet them, either in Canada or Alaska. I would love to be able to go right now and be near them.

I haven´t been able to sleep well past nights. Again I´m not dealing well with my stress. There are deadlines all the time, and I can barely keep up. Tomorrow I will be interviewed on the radio for 20 minutes direct, and then crazy workload.

I was getting the hang of it, now I feel I´m slipping.

I feel bad about going to the bank, I don´t have my usual self-esteem. I have a headache and menstrual cramps, so I´m not feeling too bright.

I´m going to eat something. Might help...

Thanks Gail. I´m there for you too.

Love and light,

scarlati

Jeez, Lilya. You're not dealing well with stress and you wish you could be near bears? I do a lot of hiking and my number one CAUSE of stress is bears! I do everything I can to avoid them. I'll make you a deal: I'll do your radio interview for you if come to Yellowstone with me next year to act as my Bear Decoy.

Lilya

With pleasure, Scarlati!

Bears are my passion and I know nothing as soothing as to pet wild animals. I´ve caressed tigers in the Far East and that was my finest moment!8

You go ahead with the interview. Just don´t walk out in the middle.

Love and light,

Lilya

What an awful day it was!

I´m sure it´s filled with lessons, but I´m too enervated to see it right now.

The radio interview went well. Had a meeting with a TV executive and got a deal for my next project. Then it was all downhill from there.

Had to buy new shoes, gymnase clothes and outer wardrobe for my girl, some idiot at school stole it! Then to the bank for an hour, went Ok, but it was tiresome. Then my neighbour and me waited here for the man who was supposed to estimate the damage to my heating system and he never showed.

I phoned him and he had forgotten me. I have to admit I totally lost my temper. We argued for a while on the phone and I told him I would take him to court for negligence and I added that his business was obviously not very professional and neither was he.

Needless to say, it didn´t work well with him, this is a big, macho man, but he agreed to meet us for the second time on Thursday. I told him he better show... silly. (sigh) Now he won´t help me with the previous owner.

I´m working here until midnight. I am really dealing badly with my stress. I was making progress, now this.

I wish I was on a nature trip in Alaska doing bear-watching.

Hopefully this will sort itself out. It´s with the gods... and now one of our cats is sick because of the cold.

Hope all of you had a better day.

Love and light,

scarlati

Yeah, that sucks. It is pretty irresponsible for someone you're doing business with to forget about you but it's entirely possible he was just having a bad day just like you. It might not hurt to call back after you've calmed down and let him know you were having a bad day and regret blowing up at him. I think things will likely go better on Thursday if you two are on better terms when he shows up. If he's still on the defensive or feeling insulted when he gets there he might not be very cooperative. Maybe bake him some cookies too.

Dealing with stress and anxiety is a lot like dealing with addiction in that the best approach is "One Day at a Time." Now that you've got your interview and meeting out of the way maybe tomorrow will go better. Good luck!

Lilya

Today is ( hopefully) the day.

The guy is coming this afternoon to estimate the damage to my heating system. I´ve arranged to go earlier home from work and my neighbour will be here.

Thanks for you suggestions, Scarlati. I thought about calling the guy, but it didn´t feel right, plus I was booked in studio till late last night. We get angry pretty quickly over here, but it goes away just as quickly.

I will offer him some good coffee, of course, and then some cookies. I won´t bake for him though - I don´t want him to think I like him that much, LOL. He is a macho man, and calls women "his beauties". Yuck! There are some great bakeries here, and he will have to contend with some treats like Florentines, chocolate and cream cookies and some lemon and orangecakes.

More than enough! Now let´s see if he comes. Will update later...

Love and light,

Lilya

The man came and looked at the system. He doesn´t think it will be necessary to do much work, but will come later with a plumber. He managed to manipulate the system so it´s a lot warmer.

I got a call from the hospital and the doctor told me my father is dying. I´ve been there since I got the call, just went home to talk with the estimation guy.

The doctor thinks he has maybe a few days. It´s a terrible stress, I feel like I´ve been run over by a truck. We had a death in the family in May as well, my nephew died a cotdeath and we just got over that.

I really need some support... thank you, all of you.

Love and light,

scarlati

I'm sooooo sorry. I hope you have friends and family there for support.

Best wishes.

Lilya

Thanks, Scarlati.

Yes, we stick together, all of us and my friends are really good. However, it´s difficult to speak to all these people on the phone, because talking about it is so stressful. It´s in some way better to go online here. I can barely see other people except for my nearest family.

The good thing about it is that my father has been ill for a long time and needs to get a peaceful rest. The doctor gave him morphine for the pain.

I´m also glad that I have a loving relationship to my Dad. There is no anger, no resentment, just sadness to lose him.

I have no idea if he will last the night. He didn´t recognize me or my sister when we left.

Love and light,

GailJ

so sorry to here what your going through this week. Not much for words tonight, too tired and in pain so early night. We're here for you

scarlati

From what you've shared in this thread it sounds like you and your parents have had a troubled past. It's good that you had a chance to sort these issues out before this. It's still sad, but if this is really the end at least you're ending on good terms.

Que sera, sera.

And I know I might have harped on this in Gail's thread, but it might not be a bad idea to meet with your therapist pretty soon and talk about this. You can get plenty of emotional support from your family and us here on SR, but I think with your history of anxiety and the level of stress your under a little "tune up" could probably help.