doggonecarl

I was going to post, but Obladi replied to what I was going reply to, but she did it better. So please read her post (#76) again. And when your mind is in a better place, think about taking action on it.

AL48

Briansy sorry you're feeling so bad. Hope you can find the path that will help you through this. There's not much anyone can say on day one to make it better only encourage you to push on.
As much as you dont want to hear it it dose get better. Stay strong.

Mizz

When we are in the throws of alcoholism it is real hard to implement change. We want to change. We want to implement the suggestions but it is just real hard to do.

Believe in yourself and believe in change. Wake up tomorrow and set your intentions about what you need to be successful and to win the day. For me, I greet the day with coffee and this forum. I read. I then move onto my morning spiritual practice followed by a run or weights or both. Eat breakfast and then work. When I return home I log on here. I have dinner and evening practice. Its bedtime by then. Readings and or a series.

There is no alcohol involved in the above program. I did the above until I was on autopilot. When my head said otherwise I ignored my thoughts and carried on. The above along with this forum, participation on this forum (involving myself with other threads and supporting others) has lead to success. Get your program of LIFE together and run as fast as you can with it!

I believe in you. I know you can do this, Brainsy.

ScottFromWI

Quite the opposite, you should be posting. Hoping things go away if you ignore them or putting off hard decisions until you feel better is exactly what hasn't been working for you in your time here, would you agree?

Based on your reaction I am glad I struck a nerve to be honest. You joined us here in May of 2017, and you've been getting a tremendous amount of support from this community every since. And you will continue to as long as you would like to be here. You came here this morning desparate for help, asking for suggestions. I gave you my suggestions and yes, I do post in a more straightforward manner. Having said that, you also did not answer any of my questions but deflected them based on the tone of my post, rather than the content itself. You are free to ingore me, or any other users that you do not agree with - but to be blunt once again, you'd be ignoring the things you need to hear the most if you did so.

Dropsie

Peace and love, but I was 100% committed and stopped and stayed stop without rehab, AA, smart, AVRT, just this place and my firm decision (not a big plan). So I would have said exactly the same thing as Briansy did about rehab -- I could not go and and for me its the same as anything else -- good for some, not for others. And it is not because someone says they cant go to rehab they are not committed. I could not go, would not go, and IMO it would not have helped me. I needed to stop and stay stopped where I drank -- at home. Others are different and that is OK. And maybe Briansy is different and he needs rehab, but we don't know that. So, IMO, its fine to say what worked for you but I am not a fan of extrapolating from that to a lack of commitment from these who chose another route. On the other hand Briansy, it is your life you are trying to save, so if you think rehab would help -- GO!!

Dropsie

How is it going friend?

Briansy

Hi Dropsie, it's going really well thanks. Managed to get through the last 5 days OK and got some half decent sleep the last couple of nights. Had an OK work week too so far. Golf this weekend, first time in weeks after hurting my wrist. Fingers crossed it goes OK. Have given the dog back to its owner so feeling a lot less burdened with responsibility this week. Sadly my new cleaner sprayed cleaning fluid all over the screen of my plasma TV and it's now not working - I can get a replacement on eBay for 150 quid, I'm just gonna suck that one up and move on. All in all, an above average week so far considering.

How's your week going?

Dropsie

Good to hear that. I am OK, like you super busy. Law bizz is certainly booming as you know.

Briansy

Yes it is. I didn't know you were a lawyer. Or maybe I did know but couldn't remember, what with my cognition being screwed! What kind of law do you practice? No worries if you'd rather not answer that!

AL48

Glad to hear your doing better Briansy

Obladi

Hey Briansy,

Please come back and tell us what's going on with you. I feel like you were on the very brink of taking the leap into long-term sobriety there. Keep coming back here. You don't have to "do what anyone says," but I think you do gain support here whatever you do, and some of what people say rings true to you (even if it stings sometimes). One of the fundamental paths for my sobriety was to continue writing here. It does seem to be helpful to you, no?

Rooting for you,
O

Briansy

Hi O - I'll give a proper reply tomorrow as running about a bit today but I really appreciate you checking in.

I'm into my second week now and have had a decent week. As you know, it is an exhausting effort to get back to equilibrium and I've gotten past the worst of it and should start feeling "levelled out" in the coming days. I am relieved to be able to sleep OK and move on. In all of the various bits of wisdom that I came across lately the one that really stood out was: it will take a heroic effort to simultaneously work on sobriety and all of your other life issues. I'm taking pressure off myself re: my other problems and making sure I go to bed sober every evening. I had gotten myself into a real rut in my head, thinking about all of the areas of my life I needed to improve and it was all too much for me.

Also, I haven't seen what sobriety looks like after 3 months. I really feel I should be getting on with doing that!!

I know will read this and be like: "No sh!t Sherlock, this is recovery advice 101" - I know, but I think it's fair to say that most of us need this stuff drilled into our heads over and over again

Dropsie

Now that was a dirty game, been a long time since I saw such dirty play as Portugal tonight. At least Belgium is through but with all those unnecessary yellow cards and injuries, Italy is going to be tough.

Who do you like for the British Open??

Eddiebuckle

Briansy, glad your week went well. I understand what it's like to have a list of things that need fixing - career, romance, health, social, and of course not drinking. That's where I was in 2009, and the temptation to fill my life with all the work that fixing those things that were off the rails. Instead, I went to a 6 week rehab. I really resisted it, my tenuous career situation seemed to make that a non-starter. But I figured that if I couldn't stay sober I was pretty much unemployable, so I took the time off from work, spent the $25k out of pocket (since that money wasn't much use for me if I ended up killing myself - which I briefly considered). After rehab I (again, reluctantly) got involved in AA, got a sponsor, went to meetings every day despite initially thinking that was neigh impossible with work and all the other stuff. I made sobriety my first priority - nothing came before it.

In the decade since I took those steps, I have stayed sober, gotten married, dialed back my career to one that was sustainable relative to my other commitments, made many new friends, and have worked with several guys who are now sober too. And I now know that all these good things in my life are built on the foundation of my sobriety. I am incapable of being a good husband, employee, friend, or sponsor if I let those things push my sobriety into second place.

There is nothing special about my story, or the outcome. Was it easy? Absolutely not... but it truly was that simple. Work your sobriety like your life depends on it, because that is not hyperbole, it is a fact. I sincerely hope that in ten years time you can share a similar story.

Dropsie

Eddie,

I loved your post.

Thanks.

Steely

Great to see you feeling more positive Briansy.

Was thinking getting sober is much like winning the lottery. You're holding the winning ticket Briansy.

Cash it in.

Briansy

That was a good game last night. Tight game. Lukaku is a BEAST!

I really like Rahm to do the back to back US and British Opens. That would be epic. I also like Jordan Spieth, Dustin Johnson contended when it was here last time. It should be an amazing weekend of viewing, I will be GLUED to my TV!!!!

Obladi

Hey Briansy,

I'm glad you're starting to feel somewhat better and that you are moving on. I hope that works out for you, I really do.

You asked me at one point maybe six months ago what it was that finally did the trick for me. I think I told you that's a very difficult question to answer because how I got here is a complex and windy tale that would not be all that interesting to you.

The truth is that for me, to take it over the finish line, it was a Herculean task. What I didn't try to do is solve all of my life issues; the heroic effort was in learning to accept and live with my self. This inner security seems like child's play to 'normal people,' but it wasn't so for me. Something was wrong, really seriously wrong with me, and I knew it. But underneath that conviction was an even deeper understanding that I actually am a good and decent human being. So, I had to do battle.

I think it's terrific that you've picked yourself up, dusted off, and are ready to move along now.
Just be mindful that wherever you go, there you will be.

xo
O

Briansy

Something was wrong, really seriously wrong with me, and I knew it. But underneath that conviction was an even deeper understanding that I actually am a good and decent human being. So, I had to do battle.

Sounds very familiar this line, O! Even the good bits.

Dropsie

How about that game, great result but so not cool to boo the German anthem, what was up with that??

Rahm would be cool but that would be three in a row in a way as he was so doing well in the Memorial when he tested positive.

I would love to see Oosthuizen do well. Or Phil would be fun.

Go Belgium!