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Day 1 again....nothing but regret and shame

Old 05-24-2021, 03:46 PM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by JaseUK View Post
Hi Kat
Your initial post is where I am rn so I know exactly how you felt. Saturday night I drank nearly a whole bottle of gin and proceeded to **** off my Bestie. Of course Sunday morning I couldn't even remember talking to her and when I looked back at our convo on FB messenger I felt the shame and self hatred you talked about. Like you I knew when I was drinking so much I'd end up regretting it but I did it all the same. Now my Bestie has blocked me on FB and FB messenger and she isn't responding to me and my apologies.

So yesteray I joined SR and made a decision to go a week without drink - starting today. Day 1. I haven't gone more than a couple of days sober in years so it will be tough for me but I'm determined.

Yes you screwed up but you dusted yourself off and tried again and now over a month sober!

You should be proud of yourself girl . Keep it up!
Dear JaseUK,

I am sorry you drank and now suffering the consequences. Both emotional and physical.
Thank you for your kind words, but you should be addressing them to yourself as well. You had the courage to join and post on SR; I command you for it! Not as easy as some may think it is.
I am finishing up Day 34 and still cringe at a thought of alcohol over a month later. This is the longest I have gone without a drink in a longgggg time. Spare yourself the pain of a personal experience and re-read my initial post when you get another urge to drink. It hurts me still on a physical level!
I do hope that your best friend will reach out to you in time; she just needs time to forgive you, I guess. She must be hurting, too. I suggest you be respectful of that and let her heal until she is ready to talk to you again.
meanwhile, be kind to yourself. I cannot stress it enough! If you treat yourself with kindness while working on your recovering and staying sober (!!!), others will follow and forgive and forget your drunken behavior. Although you are responsible for your words and actions, sober or drunk, you cannot keep blaming yourself for something you said being under the influence of the most powerful and toxic substance known to mankind. Alcohol is drug that takes control of our brain if, and only if, we allow it. Please recognize the “if” part. It is a condition, if you will, an option that you can CHOOSE to say “no” to. Makes sense?
Don’t be hard on yourself, JaseUK. You are not alone, and I feel your pain. We all do! We have all been there more times that I ever want to admit. But the only thing we can do to make it right and to save ourselves from future mistakes, embarrassing moments, and regrets is to stay sober. Your mindset needs to shift. It is not a matter of willpower; it is a matter of you understanding that you are slowly killing yourself with this poison while losing your health, your mind, literally, your true self along with loving relationships and meaningful friendships.
I do hope that you will consider posting and reaching out if you will get a craving. Let’s do it together....one day at a time...judgment free and with tons of support
Good job on Day 1
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Old 05-24-2021, 05:00 PM
  # 82 (permalink)  
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Join Date: May 2021
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Hey Kat
Thank you so much for such a lovely and supportive reply .

Ive managed a sober day but I know today (Tues) will be hard for me because I've got to go to my parents and I find that stressful and have always used alcohol to relax me. But I'm determined and you guys have given me hope.

Take care of yourself and remember how far you've come.
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Old 05-24-2021, 05:35 PM
  # 83 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by JaseUK View Post
Hey Kat
Thank you so much for such a lovely and supportive reply .

Ive managed a sober day but I know today (Tues) will be hard for me because I've got to go to my parents and I find that stressful and have always used alcohol to relax me. But I'm determined and you guys have given me hope.

Take care of yourself and remember how far you've come.
JaseUK, remember that alcohol gives you a false sense of relaxation for less than 30 min after your first shot. But then, no matter how hard and how long you try and chase that high, you never achieve it and pay the price: hangover, self-loathing, regret, misery, and sheer pain. Not worth it! Cut your visit short, if you have to, but refrain from drinking. Keep reminding yourself of the next day induced with horror of self hatred and nausea on top of unresolved issues from your last drinking session.
I am sending positive thoughts your way. Let me know how your visit goes. You are worthy of happiness, so give yourself a chance at it 🙏🏻
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