Sohard here...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Day 5. This is my longest stretch since my first drink that I had in August. You would think I would feel excited about it. And I do. But there is still that little voice that says, “so maybe then...”. But I know that voice is lying to me. I know it because of the weight I gained, the money I spent, the crap I felt like, etc. over the past five months. I know that someone who is not addicted to alcohol would have gone multiple sober stretches over five days over the past five months. So, that’s all I should need to know.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Welcome back, Sohard. Of course you know that each additional day sober makes it a little easier to stay sober. Today, you are just struggling with that early phase where the addicted part of your brain is getting desperate.
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,602
Sohard, I'm back to square one today myself. After a period where I felt really well in myself. I feel your pain, but you have done it before and know what to do. In a fortnight you'll feel like a different person and, well, I don't think anyone is loving life that much currently in the dead of winter and with Covid going nuts. So go easy on yourself and keep at it my friend.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
You absolutely can do this!
Coming back here right away is a very good step in the right direction.
Disregarding the future helped me a lot, Sohard.
It's much easier (for me) when I'm in the throes of craving to say to myself, "I don't drink now."
I can do anything for only a moment.
So can you.
xo
O
Coming back here right away is a very good step in the right direction.
Disregarding the future helped me a lot, Sohard.
It's much easier (for me) when I'm in the throes of craving to say to myself, "I don't drink now."
I can do anything for only a moment.
So can you.
xo
O
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,434
You can do it just as you’ve done it before. I had a whole run of short relapses this Fall SoHard after I managed a full year of sobriety with little trouble. You aren’t alone, and getting those first weeks is difficult.
The first thing, per usual, is dump anything you have left, eat some food and get some sleep or take a shower. Do you think distraction or clean-up feels better to you right now? If I was horrible sick, I would sleep, watch old movies, audiobooks, maybe short walk. Less sick but upset, anxious, and frustrated would mean laundry, clean sheets, and purging the house of all drinking-related chaos.
Just like you said earlier—ground is gained one hour, one day at a time. Keep posting-you can do this.
The first thing, per usual, is dump anything you have left, eat some food and get some sleep or take a shower. Do you think distraction or clean-up feels better to you right now? If I was horrible sick, I would sleep, watch old movies, audiobooks, maybe short walk. Less sick but upset, anxious, and frustrated would mean laundry, clean sheets, and purging the house of all drinking-related chaos.
Just like you said earlier—ground is gained one hour, one day at a time. Keep posting-you can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Thank you everyone. I’m sorry I didn’t reply earlier. I’ve been hiding under the covers all day. I’m just trying to get through the day so I can never have another day one again. I will definitely write more tomorrow. I really appreciate your support.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,937
Glad you're back. It's the first drink that you need to worry about.
After 5+ years of sobriety I had a beer in a restaurant with a fine meal. It took me about a year of struggling, to overcome that stupid decision.
After 5+ years of sobriety I had a beer in a restaurant with a fine meal. It took me about a year of struggling, to overcome that stupid decision.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,434
Zebra, it is very strange how there is no "lapse" in terms of addiction level even with extended sobriety, isn't it? You just pick up where you left off, or worse it seems. That has been true for me and I have tested it countless times. No better, just worse. Even if you get a few "controlled" sessions in the first few weeks / months, it creeps back almost before you know it.
We hope to slay the dragon and control this thing, and that hope has been my downfall so many times. It just isn't in the wiring anymore to shut off the flow of alcohol like a normal person reliably can--(Russian roulette and not even any fun anymore).
Sohard, getting these first few days is hard, and it got harder for me too after this last 12 months sober. Many people warn on this list of a relapse that was supposed to be a day or week and lasts years / decades. You have a clear head about what sobriety does, and how to do it. You have been successful before and you will be again. What's the plan for this morning? This afternoon? Tomorrow? One thing that helped me this last time was a super-structured plan of both time management and placebo replacements for drinking. For me, it was herbal tea for the first level, and if still craving I make some quality Scottish oatmeal with maple syrup and eat that. That was my ice cream replacement and it has been a much better choice. Ice cream I reserve for serious and sustained cravings now.
Sounds silly perhaps, but by the time I make and eat the oatmeal, it hasn't been too long, but long enough to distract my mind and fill my belly with something with nutritional value and fiber, which most of us might need after prolonged binging. It also tastes great to me, and my little kid self is happy for a bit. Pancakes also fit the bill that way
What about trying something like that along with whatever else you are doing? As you know, cravings grow less so whatever it takes to get that first week that is healthy and safe seems like a good call. What is that for you?
We hope to slay the dragon and control this thing, and that hope has been my downfall so many times. It just isn't in the wiring anymore to shut off the flow of alcohol like a normal person reliably can--(Russian roulette and not even any fun anymore).
Sohard, getting these first few days is hard, and it got harder for me too after this last 12 months sober. Many people warn on this list of a relapse that was supposed to be a day or week and lasts years / decades. You have a clear head about what sobriety does, and how to do it. You have been successful before and you will be again. What's the plan for this morning? This afternoon? Tomorrow? One thing that helped me this last time was a super-structured plan of both time management and placebo replacements for drinking. For me, it was herbal tea for the first level, and if still craving I make some quality Scottish oatmeal with maple syrup and eat that. That was my ice cream replacement and it has been a much better choice. Ice cream I reserve for serious and sustained cravings now.
Sounds silly perhaps, but by the time I make and eat the oatmeal, it hasn't been too long, but long enough to distract my mind and fill my belly with something with nutritional value and fiber, which most of us might need after prolonged binging. It also tastes great to me, and my little kid self is happy for a bit. Pancakes also fit the bill that way
What about trying something like that along with whatever else you are doing? As you know, cravings grow less so whatever it takes to get that first week that is healthy and safe seems like a good call. What is that for you?
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by Sohard 
Thank you everybody! I really appreciate your welcoming me back into the group and being so supportive. I really do. So, I’m on day two.
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