Found my way back here
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 256
Originally Posted by TheWayBack 
Now I'm a little down again, since it's time I should have a heavy beer buzz going. But so much better than yesterday. But I still have this dead zone feeling. I can test it by just trying to play a video game, which is something I typically really enjoy and I cannot. I'm just not interested in anything.
When you get those fantasizing type thoughts of what you normally would be doing if you were drinking, how it would feel, etc. remember the pain you’ve had to endure trying to get off of it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2,580
TWB, you're doing great. The depression makes sense -- this is a big change to mind and body and will take some time to level off. I'm with Least on the gratitude practice --- writing a list of five or ten things I'm grateful for, most mornings, causes amazing changes in my outlook. The actual writing is important, I think -- it rewires the brain. Maybe give it a try for a few days or a week? 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 158
Thanks again for the comments, everyone. Day 6 in the books.
I couldn't sleep last night, at all. I mean I did, but I kept waking up. I actually counted getting up to go to the bathroom, 5 times. Maybe that's because I drink water and cranberry juice all day long like I'm dying of thirst, or not. Anyway, that wasn't good, but it was Saturday, so I just slept until noon.
I had a mostly really nice day today though, I felt a lot better than I have since I quit, 6 days ago. The weather is just gorgeous, sunny and low 70s, wow. It sounds odd, but my wife and I went grocery shopping and I bought way more stuff than I'd intended because I was just enjoying shopping together, lol. I felt really relaxed for the first time in a long while, unless I was totally buzzed out and ready to pass out, like every night.
Now it's time for anxiety and depression because no booze. I know that's coming, so I'm trying to do things to keep my mind off it.
In the evenings, I've found that I have to have a drink in my hands, at all times. But it's cranberry juice/water or ginger ale. But I think that's why I'm waking up to run to the bathroom. But I can't help it, it's just seems too weird to not always have a drink in my hands in the evening, it just adds to the stress. So I'll just accept that for now.
I couldn't sleep last night, at all. I mean I did, but I kept waking up. I actually counted getting up to go to the bathroom, 5 times. Maybe that's because I drink water and cranberry juice all day long like I'm dying of thirst, or not. Anyway, that wasn't good, but it was Saturday, so I just slept until noon.
I had a mostly really nice day today though, I felt a lot better than I have since I quit, 6 days ago. The weather is just gorgeous, sunny and low 70s, wow. It sounds odd, but my wife and I went grocery shopping and I bought way more stuff than I'd intended because I was just enjoying shopping together, lol. I felt really relaxed for the first time in a long while, unless I was totally buzzed out and ready to pass out, like every night.
Now it's time for anxiety and depression because no booze. I know that's coming, so I'm trying to do things to keep my mind off it.
In the evenings, I've found that I have to have a drink in my hands, at all times. But it's cranberry juice/water or ginger ale. But I think that's why I'm waking up to run to the bathroom. But I can't help it, it's just seems too weird to not always have a drink in my hands in the evening, it just adds to the stress. So I'll just accept that for now.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 158
I really have to figure out a way to start going to sleep at night earlier. Because work. I'm really enjoying staying up until 3am or later, and sleeping until noon, because I can, on the weekend. But I need to be at my desk by 9am Monday thru Friday. I sometimes have meetings as early as 9:30am, and there is one on my calendar at that time on Monday. But I cannot fall sleep. The earliest I have fallen asleep since this Monday, my first day of my quit, was probably 1:30am. When I wake up I am like a real life zombie. The best I can describe it, I drag myself out of bed at 8:45am, I walk to the bathroom like a 90 year old man, scooting my feet on the rug. I go make some coffee and sit down in a chair in the living room and I feel like I've been shot with a tranquilizer dart. Not exaggerating. It takes me about half a large cup of coffee to even get my eyes to stay open. So I get to my desk and get logged in at 9am and I am soooo tired. Friday I also had a 9:30am and I was feeling a little more alert and did OK. I mean I don't think anyone in the meeting was looking at me thinking 'what the heck is wrong with this guy?'. I've tried all the get to sleep this way stuff and it just doesn't work. I think last time I tried to quit, I finally started getting to sleep a little earlier,not sure how long it took. So I guess I just have to ride it out.
Right now, I didn't really have the depression/anxiety thing today. It did start to come on around 8:30 - 9pm, which is the time I was typically beer buzz numb zone. But I just started doing some stuff, mostly eating junk food and trying to joke with the wife (who was trying to watch one of her TV shows, and getting annoyed with me). But I think that worked.
My wife has been wonderful through all of this. But she's not used to getting all of this attention. Since before she barely got any. I work from 9-5 and sometimes later. And as soon as work ends, I would grab a beer, and after that, I paid no attention to much of anything except for my next beer. I actually thought about this, this afternoon and it just hit me really hard. She was by herself most of the day, except when we'd do lunch, until end of work, and then I'd go straight off to beer land. This is a really painful thing to me, and I hate to even think about it, because it makes me not really like me so much. I have no idea how she stayed with me. It's one thing to have to say 'oh well, my partner got drunk today and I may as well have been alone'. But to do that for years, my God, that is just awful.
Right now, I didn't really have the depression/anxiety thing today. It did start to come on around 8:30 - 9pm, which is the time I was typically beer buzz numb zone. But I just started doing some stuff, mostly eating junk food and trying to joke with the wife (who was trying to watch one of her TV shows, and getting annoyed with me). But I think that worked.
My wife has been wonderful through all of this. But she's not used to getting all of this attention. Since before she barely got any. I work from 9-5 and sometimes later. And as soon as work ends, I would grab a beer, and after that, I paid no attention to much of anything except for my next beer. I actually thought about this, this afternoon and it just hit me really hard. She was by herself most of the day, except when we'd do lunch, until end of work, and then I'd go straight off to beer land. This is a really painful thing to me, and I hate to even think about it, because it makes me not really like me so much. I have no idea how she stayed with me. It's one thing to have to say 'oh well, my partner got drunk today and I may as well have been alone'. But to do that for years, my God, that is just awful.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
I found I sleep best when I take a walk for an hour or so. I found anxiety and depression can be contained when I practice mindfulness and gratitude. (And take my meds!) I found predicting future troubles to be less than helpful, but assuming everyone has the best intentions gives me more confidence in myself.
Just some ideas.
Also, maybe try cooking/preparing healthy and hearty meals three times daily? That junk food is probably a good part of your sleep issues.
You're doing fine. It will get better. Promise.
O
Just some ideas.
Also, maybe try cooking/preparing healthy and hearty meals three times daily? That junk food is probably a good part of your sleep issues.
You're doing fine. It will get better. Promise.
O
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 185
Let me weigh in about pee. 
I know a lLOTot about it because when I got sober, I was up five, six, seven times a night. I couldn’t find any medical rationale connecting it to my previous alcohol consumption (after all, I wasn’t drinking alcohol anymore!) but personally I think it must’ve been connected because alcohol is one of the biggest diuretics, so maybe there were long-lasting effects? I think it maybe triggered “overactive bladder syndrome,” which is not something you can do much about. Apparently you can try meds for or look into surgery, but both seem pretty fruitless (and I was intent on no meds), so it’s just something I had to learn to deal with and be smart about what's going in your bod.
I think you may be drinking 2 of the biggest diuretics. Cranberry juice and ginger—and carbonated drinks—will make you have to pee. Maybe replace with something that won’t cause increased urge to pee?
I used to guzzle La Croix and PowerAde Zero because I wanted no-sugar drinks. It took me quite a long time to realize the first made me have to pee ALL THE TIME and the second made me have to pee AND gave me terrible headaches from the aspartame. So now I drink a lot of plain old water. Water soaked in frozen fruit is my favorite.
I’m 3 years and 3 months sober, and I’m still up frequently in the night. Every time, I’m annoyed, and then I remember: But I’m sober. And I go back to sleep in peace.
You can do it. Remember your body is figuring out how to be sober... ride alongside it with gratitude!
I know a lLOTot about it because when I got sober, I was up five, six, seven times a night. I couldn’t find any medical rationale connecting it to my previous alcohol consumption (after all, I wasn’t drinking alcohol anymore!) but personally I think it must’ve been connected because alcohol is one of the biggest diuretics, so maybe there were long-lasting effects? I think it maybe triggered “overactive bladder syndrome,” which is not something you can do much about. Apparently you can try meds for or look into surgery, but both seem pretty fruitless (and I was intent on no meds), so it’s just something I had to learn to deal with and be smart about what's going in your bod.
I think you may be drinking 2 of the biggest diuretics. Cranberry juice and ginger—and carbonated drinks—will make you have to pee. Maybe replace with something that won’t cause increased urge to pee?
I used to guzzle La Croix and PowerAde Zero because I wanted no-sugar drinks. It took me quite a long time to realize the first made me have to pee ALL THE TIME and the second made me have to pee AND gave me terrible headaches from the aspartame. So now I drink a lot of plain old water. Water soaked in frozen fruit is my favorite.
I’m 3 years and 3 months sober, and I’m still up frequently in the night. Every time, I’m annoyed, and then I remember: But I’m sober. And I go back to sleep in peace.
You can do it. Remember your body is figuring out how to be sober... ride alongside it with gratitude!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 158
Thanks everyone, and for all the good tips.
I almost forgot to check in today. I had actually gone to bed when I remembered! But I got up because I want to make sure I check in everyday, I think it's a good habit to remind myself that I don't drink anymore.
I had a really bad day. I went to bed this morning, finally, at 4am. My sleep was bad, up 5 times to the bathroom, but outside of that, no good restful sleep. I had to go back and take a nap, at least I tried. When I first lay down, our robo vac decided to some to our bedroom and make all sorts of noise. Then after it finally went away, there was this super noisy bird. I just gave up. I had a lot of nausea this afternoon, had to lie down again. Got up and felt a little better.
So I actually was going to bed at 12:45 am. That's good, maybe if I can sleep. I'm very tired. No depression today really, I just didn't let myself dwell on it, I was either exhausted, or trying to do something, junk food binge again.
But, 7 days down! No cravings last couple days.
I almost forgot to check in today. I had actually gone to bed when I remembered! But I got up because I want to make sure I check in everyday, I think it's a good habit to remind myself that I don't drink anymore.
I had a really bad day. I went to bed this morning, finally, at 4am. My sleep was bad, up 5 times to the bathroom, but outside of that, no good restful sleep. I had to go back and take a nap, at least I tried. When I first lay down, our robo vac decided to some to our bedroom and make all sorts of noise. Then after it finally went away, there was this super noisy bird. I just gave up. I had a lot of nausea this afternoon, had to lie down again. Got up and felt a little better.
So I actually was going to bed at 12:45 am. That's good, maybe if I can sleep. I'm very tired. No depression today really, I just didn't let myself dwell on it, I was either exhausted, or trying to do something, junk food binge again.
But, 7 days down! No cravings last couple days.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Congratulations on a full week - that's awesome!
I second FMN's recommendation on the liquids. Plain old water after 4pm is the best move to sleeping better, in my experience.
That and the aforementioned walk.
My guess is that it's all going to keep getting better - how could it not, right?
O
I second FMN's recommendation on the liquids. Plain old water after 4pm is the best move to sleeping better, in my experience.
That and the aforementioned walk.
My guess is that it's all going to keep getting better - how could it not, right?
O
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 158
Hey everyone. 8 days.
Better day today, although I still feel tired a lot. I managed to only get up once last night to head to the bathroom. I think I may have cut down some on the liquids, I don't feel as dehydrated as I did. And I've started mixing my cranberry juice with water. So, half glass ice, about 2/3 with water, and then a splash of cranberry juice.
I'm not having any cravings. Today, my worst problem was fatigue again. Anxiety is down quite a bit. I get up feeling zombie like, then after my cup of coffee, I feel pretty good, then afternoon sometimes I get real sleepy and have to nap for 30 minutes or an hour. I'm going to try starting walking again tomorrow. I think I feel strong enough for that now, I'll just start out slow and build my way up again. During my previous failed attempt (I made it 65 days or maybe a few more), I was walking/running 5-10 miles a day, every day, even after I was drinking again, for many months. I need to do that gain, with no drinking.
Better day today, although I still feel tired a lot. I managed to only get up once last night to head to the bathroom. I think I may have cut down some on the liquids, I don't feel as dehydrated as I did. And I've started mixing my cranberry juice with water. So, half glass ice, about 2/3 with water, and then a splash of cranberry juice.
I'm not having any cravings. Today, my worst problem was fatigue again. Anxiety is down quite a bit. I get up feeling zombie like, then after my cup of coffee, I feel pretty good, then afternoon sometimes I get real sleepy and have to nap for 30 minutes or an hour. I'm going to try starting walking again tomorrow. I think I feel strong enough for that now, I'll just start out slow and build my way up again. During my previous failed attempt (I made it 65 days or maybe a few more), I was walking/running 5-10 miles a day, every day, even after I was drinking again, for many months. I need to do that gain, with no drinking.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 158
Day 9. Not too exciting of a day. I didn't get to sleep last night, this morning, until 4am. But I did not wake up either until the alarm woke me up at 9am. I got up, got my coffee, soooo tired. Tired all day, I just feel exhausted. No cravings again, not too much anxiety, just exhausted. I'm going to try to go to bed earlier tonight.
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Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 158
Day 10 behind me now.
I haven't had any cravings. And I don't think I'm having anything that would be called withdrawals now. I had a headache today and had to take advil and nap through my lunch hour though.
The biggest issue I'm having is fatigue. I'm sleepy most of the day. I try to go to bed earlier, but I just cannot sleep. So insomnia and sleepy all day. I really cannot wait until the weekend again, so that I can try to catch up on sleep. Anyone else have that issue early on?
I haven't had any cravings. And I don't think I'm having anything that would be called withdrawals now. I had a headache today and had to take advil and nap through my lunch hour though.
The biggest issue I'm having is fatigue. I'm sleepy most of the day. I try to go to bed earlier, but I just cannot sleep. So insomnia and sleepy all day. I really cannot wait until the weekend again, so that I can try to catch up on sleep. Anyone else have that issue early on?
sober style
Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
Posts: 2,388
Insomnia is very common in the first few weeks. I had it bad maybe the first 3 weeks, then it got significantly better. But I can't say I don't still have sleep issues now and then, 3.5 years in. Of course I also drink way too much coffee, look at computer screens late at night, and generally flout a lot of the good-sleeping rules.
You're doing great, WayBack.
You're doing great, WayBack.
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