Notices

I fell off the wagon....

Old 04-19-2020, 01:31 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 79
I fell off the wagon....

Been a while since I've posted.

I joined this forum when I first gave up drinking, things were going great, I was sober for a while and all was well.. and things went south. When I became sober, I did things during the evening such as going to some of my favorite stores, pretty much nightly, it was fun... life was grand, I was sober.. then came COVID-19.

The stores I loved and would go to during the evenings closed, and I found myself stuck at home with nothing to do. What helped me stay sober, it was suddenly gone. Life as we knew it, it came to a grinding halt.

I found myself stuck at home, bored, depressed and in that time I fell off the wagon. I'm back to drinking. Just when I became sober, was feeling great and yeah.. just my luck... here's COVID-19 to ****that all up......

I'm not upset at myself or anything, I'm only human.. it is what is is.. this sucks, happened at a horrible time. Now I'm just rambling and so I will stop, sorry....
Devious0ne is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 01:51 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
It's so hard isn't it, even the things I took such pleasure in, such as binge watching Netflix, seem depressing! I hope you find your way through this, I wouldn't be able to claw my way out of a relapse but I completely understand how it can happen at this time.
daisy1 is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 01:57 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 79
Originally Posted by daisy1 View Post
It's so hard isn't it, even the things I took such pleasure in, such as binge watching Netflix, seem depressing! I hope you find your way through this, I wouldn't be able to claw my way out of a relapse but I completely understand how it can happen at this time.
It's hitting me hard tonight... this isn't what I wanted, I was on such a good path and then this. The effects of COVID-19 isn't affecting only those who become infected, but those who struggle with addiction, or mental health issues now having to cope with not having what helped them.
Devious0ne is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 01:58 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: casablanca
Posts: 282
One of the things I did on a daily basis, before covid19, is go to the gym. Now the gym is closed but I found ways to workout at home regardless. One thing I know, the gym I used as a crutch, and I can only use a crutch for so long until I can walk again so to speak.
As much as I don't wanna be the person pushing AA your way, I found that any recovery program (fellowship part of it) could help during these times.
SMART and AA meetings online everyday are available on skype, zoom..
Just showing up and making friends could help, you don't need to swallow all of their "doctines"
shakeel is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 02:11 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,695
Welcome back DO - I wondered what happened to you.

yeah its hard when your sober routine just stops dead.

This is like a once in a century event, but we have to adapt our recovery plan to it or we'll lose ourselves again - and noone wants that.

I'm glad you made it back, man.
D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 02:14 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 79
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Welcome back DO - I wondered what happened to you.

yeah its hard when your sober routine just stops dead.

This is like a once in a century event, but we have to adapt our recovery plan to it or we'll lose ourselves again - and noone wants that.

I'm glad you made it back, man.
D
Unfortunately, I've lost myself... I'm not in a good place right now.
Devious0ne is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 02:16 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,695
Stopping drinking is the first step back, man.

you can't work out where you need to go until you stop poisoning yourself.

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 02:28 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 79
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Stopping drinking is the first step back, man.

you can't work out where you need to go until you stop poisoning yourself.

D
Your ability to be blunt, but gentle combined with words of wisdom is simply amazing. I'm going to crash for the night, I'll be back tomorrow.. I promise. I'll get through this, with all of your support.
Devious0ne is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 02:30 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,695
take it easy and rest DO - drink some water too maybe?
catch you tomorrow

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 03:34 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Blue Belt
 
D122y's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,167
I have routine for my days off work. Drinking thoughts come up in the evening off and on. But, I know the consequences. I power through and the thoughts disappear.

I am one moment away from being a relapse statistic too. That is why I will not give advice. Addict for life here.

The covid virus changed my world too.

Everything is closed, but opening soon.

I upped my workout game as best I could. Virtual work out programs abound.

I did a little yoga thing yesterday. It was so amazing. The whole stretching thing rocks.

I have a routine that involves way too much TV. I save the workout for mid day, that way I have something to look forward to. Halfway through I have some pre work out. Kicks up the intensity.

Hope this helps a bit.

Thanks.
D122y is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 03:35 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 49
Originally Posted by Devious0ne View Post
Been a while since I've posted.

I joined this forum when I first gave up drinking, things were going great, I was sober for a while and all was well.. and things went south. When I became sober, I did things during the evening such as going to some of my favorite stores, pretty much nightly, it was fun... life was grand, I was sober.. then came COVID-19.

The stores I loved and would go to during the evenings closed, and I found myself stuck at home with nothing to do. What helped me stay sober, it was suddenly gone. Life as we knew it, it came to a grinding halt.

I found myself stuck at home, bored, depressed and in that time I fell off the wagon. I'm back to drinking. Just when I became sober, was feeling great and yeah.. just my luck... here's COVID-19 to ****that all up......

I'm not upset at myself or anything, I'm only human.. it is what is is.. this sucks, happened at a horrible time. Now I'm just rambling and so I will stop, sorry....
How long did you stay sober for and what kind of drinking do you now do, ie beer or spirits etc.
binger81 is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 03:41 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Life Goes On
 
Obladi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,033
I'm glad you came back!

You can definitely get through this, DeviousOne. Of course, the first step is to stop drinking and give yourself a few days to recover. I'd encourage focusing solely on your physical recovery and being kind to yourself over these initial days.

You know we're here for you.

O
Obladi is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 12:43 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Devious0ne View Post
It's hitting me hard tonight... this isn't what I wanted, I was on such a good path and then this. The effects of COVID-19 isn't affecting only those who become infected, but those who struggle with addiction, or mental health issues now having to cope with not having what helped them.
You can do this. Youíve done it before and you CAN do it again.

Itís not COVID. Thatís a trick of your AV. The whole world is affected by COVID but the whole worldís not drinking. Itís your addiction which cleverly snuck in and convinced you this could be a solid excuse. Thatís why you blamed it in your first two posts back. Next time, your AV will try something else (a loved oneís death, a world war, a 9/11 or Hurricane Sandy event, a broken hip/leg). But NONE of these are reasons why you would be drinking.

Think of it as you donít want to drink, not that you canít drink.

Important point: just because you drank yesterday or even 5 minutes ago, youíre 100% allowed and capable of stopping right now. Just bc you just drank doesnít mean you have to keep drinking. Start (and finish) now. Be sober. For good.
Sohard is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 04:51 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
 
Gottalife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Thailand
Posts: 6,594
Having sobriety depend on some external circumstance does not work for the like of me. Often you hear of the chap who stays sober to keep his wife. What happens if she leaves? His reason for staying sober goes with her.

Corona is a bit different. Who could have predicted a few months back what was going to happen? But the same principle applies. It is possible to stay sober regardless of anything, if you have treated the internal condition.
Gottalife is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 05:27 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,695
DO - where you at?

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-19-2020, 06:01 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
uncle holmes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 4,783
Welcome back! itís a big first step just coming back again and telling us what happened! I think a lot of us are going stir crazy from covid-19! I was afraid of this when covid-19 first started! That is people returning to drinking because meetings would be closed! In your case itís because your outlets that helped you cope with sobriety are closed due to covid-19!

I would do everything you can to stop drinking! Keep on posting on here and keep reaching out! I know if it happened to me I would hope I would get back to meetings under normal conditions! These arenít normal conditions cause thereís no meetings now! My next step would probably be to call my therapist that I no longer see and go over the options on what I should do! That might include checking into a treatment center if theyíre taking on any patients during these times!
uncle holmes is offline  
Old 04-30-2020, 01:08 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 79
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
DO - where you at?

D

I'm still here. Going through a range of emotions. Still struggling. Trying to figure out how to start back at square one.
Devious0ne is offline  
Old 04-30-2020, 01:10 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 79
Sorry for making posts, and then running off. I have a hard time opening up. I'm very personal, don't talk much about personal things to anyone, and even on this forum where I'm not known, still a struggle. I'm trying to get better at opening up.. but it's a struggle.
Devious0ne is offline  
Old 04-30-2020, 01:29 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 205,695
I think a lot of us are the same, and there's nothing inherently wrong with being shy private and circumspect - unless you're using it as an excuse to keep drinking?
D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-30-2020, 06:20 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Canine Welfare Advocate
 
doggonecarl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,955
Originally Posted by Devious0ne View Post
Trying to figure out how to start back at square one.
It starts by putting down the drink. I'm not trying to be snarky, but that's how sobriety starts, with not drinking. If you are waiting to be ready to quit, you may wait a while. If you are waiting for it to be easy, you might wait a while. If you are waiting to solve all your issues that cause you to drink before you quit, you are putting the cart before the horse.
doggonecarl is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:05 AM.