Finally getting sober - and feeling so miserable

Old 12-03-2019, 09:11 PM
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Finally getting sober - and feeling so miserable

Hello all,
ive been struggling with my drinking for a good 3-4 years, and of course the inevitable itís progressively gotten worse. Iíve had anxiety - both social & generalized anxiety nearly my entire life. I started suffering from debilitating panic attacks about 2 years ago and I know it was exacerbated by my drinking habits. I was drinking all day every day at one point. I also became so depressed I barely moved. My most recent has lasted for about 2 months of extreme heavy drinking just to numb myself. Well Iíve finally had enough, Iím in therapy & Iím finally seeking help. The thing that is holding me down the most is that In that time span Iíve put on so much weight from a combination of drinking, eating horribly, & not exercising at all due to my depression & always feeling like crap. I feel soooo depressed & insecure because of it. I donít even feel comfortable in my own body. It wasnít really apparent to me how much weight I had put on because I was drunk. I started a new job 2 weeks ago & I am now dealing with brain fog & itís so hard for me to Take in new information that makes me feel even more insecure because I feel like Iím brain dead. Now that Iím not drinking, itís all I can see & feel. I hate looking at myself in the mirror I feel like a different person. Iím so thankful that Iím finally cleaning myself up but the insecurity & sadness I feel is overwhelming at times. I know it will take time & effort for me to get back to my normal self. I guess I just wanted to see who else is or has gone through this, and what you did to help yourself feel better. Also how long it took for you to feel normal in your own body again.
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Old 12-03-2019, 09:31 PM
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When I got sober there was no money, no therapy, no doctors. Nothing except AA which was free.

What I notice first after getting sober was how much better I felt not waking up with a hangover. Of course I still had to pick up the wreckage which was my life.

O.k. I'm 35 and barely employed. Just hanging on to my apartment. My girlfriend (later wife) has had it with my drinking and split.

Took me three years to get back on my feet financially. Took me about six months to lose the puffiness in my face.

I didn't need a shrink or therapist to tell me I had screwed up my life and starting over wasn't going to be easy.

Never had much of a role model growing up and by the time I hit 20 years of age I either drank or got high when life got hard... or easy or whatever.
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Old 12-03-2019, 09:34 PM
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welcome aboard Sooz438

I think for any of us it takes a little time for mind and body to heal.

I think with some sensible eating and some light but regular exercise you'll see results soon enough.

Yeah its hard to initiate the process and keep it up but the alternative is to feel worse, right?

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Old 12-03-2019, 09:47 PM
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I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I have been where you are in the past- especially with the extreme anxiety and depression. I too drank to calm my anxiety. I always loved that feeling that developed about 4 drinks in. That giddy "everything is good/hopeful" false sense of reality that quickly escalated down the rabbit hole where I'd end up waking up on the floor or having no memory of the night before.

I quit 8 days ago, and what is keeping me going is setting short term goals. Once the fog lifts, you will start to have more energy, and you'll see things clearer. I haven't felt this clear in 8 years.

I cleaned and organized my place from top to bottom, It makes me feel good to have my home base in order. That was my start. It may seem like a small step, but I feel like with my home surroundings in order, I can step outside and tackle something else.

I think you'll find that the weight will start to come off naturally given that you're not consuming so many calories in alcohol. I calculate that I was taking in about 7,000 calories a week from alcohol. By making that simple change- you're most likely cutting your calories in half!

Just stick with it, the fog will lift, and the energy will start to flow again.

Hugs to you.
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Old 12-03-2019, 10:29 PM
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Itís ok to not feel ok. Weight gain is sometimes a problem in sobriety. It was for me, still is. If you gained weight while drinking, you may not be the type I was who used alcohol as a substitute for food in order to get drunk and lose weight at the same time: when I quit drinking I was left with the same eating problem with my ďbooze fixĒ removed. I think now they call it ďdrunkarexia,Ē a not so fun side aspect of my alcoholism.

One thing at a time, though. Getting sober is important, much more important than trying to lose weight, so just focus on that first. Buy some bigger clothes. Make sure youíre both exercising regularly, and sleeping well; both for your mental health. Youíve come out of something difficult, let your body weigh what it weighs right now, itís reflecting the pain and stress it went through for years.

Love your body for getting you through a tough time, while still doing all the important work it does to keep you alive. Because right now, you are alive, and that beautiful body carried you to this important place where you are getting sober. Itís hard enough. Itís very, very hard and you are a warrior for making this change for yourself, the last thing you need is to beat up your self image over weight gain. Give your loving body the time it needs to heal: first from alcohol, then the weight issue, later when youíve had some time to come out of the fog.

This is a tough time to start a job. As someone who had to do a 180 with work....I sort of had to relearn how to do things correctly, my drinking had left it such a mess...I urge you to breathe, forgive yourself (you are newly sober) and MAKE LISTS. You will forget things you never thought you could forget when you just got sober so donít trust your memory, write everything down. Your memory will sharpen with more time off the alcohol.

Youíre doing just fine. Itís going to be ok. You are strong and beautiful and courageous, no matter what you weigh.

We are here when you need us.
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Old 12-04-2019, 02:42 AM
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First get settled in sobriety and your new job, then take up exercise and healthier eating but try not to get too obsessed. Think long-term. Your life sounds pretty on track already to me.
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Old 12-04-2019, 04:19 PM
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Its early in your sobriety. Give it time and you will feel better and look better. Just stay busy. Stay active. It will help with your physical and emotional problems in sobriety.
We're here for ya.
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Old 12-07-2019, 01:13 AM
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Before I quit drinking I had been experiencing a pain in my RHS across my ribs, it felt musculoskeletal to me. I went to the GP and she told me that they were going to test bloods and ultra-sound my liver. I was diagnosed with fatty liver and told to stop drinking for 12 weeks and go to see a consultant. I went to the consultant appointment and the first thing they do is weigh you. They weighed me and I had lost 10kg (I had decided just to quit at the fatty liver stage). The guy was genuinely surprised. I also told him I had decided to quit and I have never been called back. My liver is fine.

Weight loss will come fast if you quit alcohol and through your sobriety, eat well, sleep well and look after yourself better. All of this will result in weight loss from where you currently are. I hope you keep going and prosper. Don't despair too much, you are not alone.
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Old 12-07-2019, 03:56 AM
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sober style
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When I stopped drinking I was crazy fat and horribly unhappy. My body looked every bit like the horror movie I'd been starring in as a dedicated drunk. But I had faith in sobriety and my mind-and-body's ability to heal itself once I stopped poisoning it. Like most good things it takes time, patience endurance, and continuing conscious attention. Stay on the right track, that's the sober track, and you just might end up in a better place. Worth a try!
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Old 12-07-2019, 12:38 PM
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Try a multivitamin and get some exercise and eat oranges
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Old 12-07-2019, 02:01 PM
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First some hope. Alcoholism is the only illness I know of where it is possible, once recovered, to be in better shape than before getting sick.

The hardest thing about not drinking is handling sobriety. That was why I always went back. Life the way I was trying to do it, was unbearable sober. I had to learn a whole new approach.
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Old 12-07-2019, 06:54 PM
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It sounds to me like you are on the right track! The brain fog is rough at first, but you will get through it. Iím sure that trying to learn new information, on top of the brain fog, is incredibly frustrating right now. It will get better. Give yourself permission to take extra time to learn and forgive yourself if you donít get it right away.

In time, your body and brain will start to respond differently (positively!)

It gets so much better! Hang in there!
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Old 12-10-2019, 04:16 PM
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Support to you, Sooz.
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Old 12-16-2019, 04:47 PM
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My panic attacks stopped when I quit drinking and my anxiety decreased a great bit. I'm 28 years sober and have been on anti-depressants the whole time; it's simply another medical condition.
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