It’s ok to not feel ok. Weight gain is sometimes a problem in sobriety. It was for me, still is. If you gained weight while drinking, you may not be the type I was who used alcohol as a substitute for food in order to get drunk and lose weight at the same time: when I quit drinking I was left with the same eating problem with my “booze fix” removed. I think now they call it “drunkarexia,” a not so fun side aspect of my alcoholism.
One thing at a time, though. Getting sober is important, much more important than trying to lose weight, so just focus on that first. Buy some bigger clothes. Make sure you’re both exercising regularly, and sleeping well; both for your mental health. You’ve come out of something difficult, let your body weigh what it weighs right now, it’s reflecting the pain and stress it went through for years.
Love your body for getting you through a tough time, while still doing all the important work it does to keep you alive. Because right now, you are alive, and that beautiful body carried you to this important place where you are getting sober. It’s hard enough. It’s very, very hard and you are a warrior for making this change for yourself, the last thing you need is to beat up your self image over weight gain. Give your loving body the time it needs to heal: first from alcohol, then the weight issue, later when you’ve had some time to come out of the fog.
This is a tough time to start a job. As someone who had to do a 180 with work....I sort of had to relearn how to do things correctly, my drinking had left it such a mess...I urge you to breathe, forgive yourself (you are newly sober) and MAKE LISTS. You will forget things you never thought you could forget when you just got sober so don’t trust your memory, write everything down. Your memory will sharpen with more time off the alcohol.
You’re doing just fine. It’s going to be ok. You are strong and beautiful and courageous, no matter what you weigh.
We are here when you need us.