Stress
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Tip it away. Whatever is making you feel stressed won't be made any better for more than a few hours busy the booze. It'll just set you back, cause more problems, an make you feel badly about yourself. Play the tape forward past that first drink. Really think it through.
There are common triggers. Yiu can remember them by HALT. These are Hungry-Angry-Lonely-Tired. Which could you be at the moment? If yiu may be one of them (even if you don't feel it specifically) take action right away to alleviate that. Hungry? Eat. And drink plenty of water. Angry? Make the decision to forgive and let it go - your sobriety is more important than whatever you might want to drink at. Lonely? Phone a relative or friend, or get to an AA meeting or church or ANYTHING rather than drink. Call Samaritans or the AA hot line. All these things are there for a reason. Tired? Rest, even if you can't sleep. Take a relaxing bubble bath. Slouch in front of some cartoons. Snuggle.
Drinking is NOT the answer. Ditch that poison.
There are common triggers. Yiu can remember them by HALT. These are Hungry-Angry-Lonely-Tired. Which could you be at the moment? If yiu may be one of them (even if you don't feel it specifically) take action right away to alleviate that. Hungry? Eat. And drink plenty of water. Angry? Make the decision to forgive and let it go - your sobriety is more important than whatever you might want to drink at. Lonely? Phone a relative or friend, or get to an AA meeting or church or ANYTHING rather than drink. Call Samaritans or the AA hot line. All these things are there for a reason. Tired? Rest, even if you can't sleep. Take a relaxing bubble bath. Slouch in front of some cartoons. Snuggle.
Drinking is NOT the answer. Ditch that poison.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 49
Thx berry. Problem is i cant named the reason what is trigger me. Dont know.
Last week was wery good. I know one think im not problem addicted i mean there is something real in my mind its cause needs like smoking drinking thing wich makes it relax.
Had harsh life. Plus ive been in military for last one year. From my perspective im trying good for now i can keep up for days or week without drink and cigarets but after that something happens seeing nightmares one night and feeling bad than drinking again.
Good thing i hawe semi control for now hawe it under control. But i fear if its go out of control and i started to drink lot of evry day.
Tomarrow new day i hawe to think.
Last week was wery good. I know one think im not problem addicted i mean there is something real in my mind its cause needs like smoking drinking thing wich makes it relax.
Had harsh life. Plus ive been in military for last one year. From my perspective im trying good for now i can keep up for days or week without drink and cigarets but after that something happens seeing nightmares one night and feeling bad than drinking again.
Good thing i hawe semi control for now hawe it under control. But i fear if its go out of control and i started to drink lot of evry day.
Tomarrow new day i hawe to think.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
But dont know what happened get stressed without reason....
if you're like most of us, Alkolik, the first little while without your usual drink and smoke is stressful in and of itself.
on top of that, you probably don't have good resources for "dealing with yourself" without substances.
it's one of the reasons a plan is so often recommended and is so useful.
if you're like most of us, Alkolik, the first little while without your usual drink and smoke is stressful in and of itself.
on top of that, you probably don't have good resources for "dealing with yourself" without substances.
it's one of the reasons a plan is so often recommended and is so useful.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'd tip it out and stop buying cigarettes - there are healthier more positive ways to deal with stress 
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...44-stress.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...44-stress.html
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
I would have rolled my eyes when I was still drinking if someone said this to me, but here it is:
Life is less stressful when you're sober.
Drinking became the sole cause of my stresses in life. First of all, facing the day with a hangover was a huge cause of stress. I had to do what everyone else did (go to work, commute, shop) but I did it with debilitating headaches, sweaty face, and general feelings of doom.
Bills were late because I would forget about them when I was drunk every night. My house was cluttered beyond belief because I was drunk every night. I spent so much money on alcohol that I didn't have enough money to pay my bills. My debt increased.
I'm still learning to live life without the option to totally check out, escape, hide and I've been sober for two years.
It's easy to think "Oh, just one night," but we both know it'll never be just one night. And that hangover tomorrow?
Life is less stressful when you're sober.
Drinking became the sole cause of my stresses in life. First of all, facing the day with a hangover was a huge cause of stress. I had to do what everyone else did (go to work, commute, shop) but I did it with debilitating headaches, sweaty face, and general feelings of doom.
Bills were late because I would forget about them when I was drunk every night. My house was cluttered beyond belief because I was drunk every night. I spent so much money on alcohol that I didn't have enough money to pay my bills. My debt increased.
I'm still learning to live life without the option to totally check out, escape, hide and I've been sober for two years.
It's easy to think "Oh, just one night," but we both know it'll never be just one night. And that hangover tomorrow?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
An alcoholic is not someone whose problem is alcohol. An alcoholic is someone for whom alcohol is their solution. But of course, that is just an illusion. A quick fix, that then causes us more problems. It's like a crazy merry-go-round and the only way to stop the nightmare is get off it.
There is no such thing as controlled drinking for an alcoholic. That feeling of being in control is, sadly, a delusion. Buying it in the first place wasn't a decision you were happy about making - otherwise you wouldn't have come on here to post about it. And why did you come on this forum in the first place if you can control your drinking. A week of abstinence doesn't mean we can control our drinking once we start. I tried a few 'month off' drinking in the hope it would kind of reset things, and I could then return to drinking and drink 'like a normal person'. Thing is. I'm not a normal person. I'm an alcoholic. And you can't un-pickle a cucumber. Sure, occasionally I did have a few and it didn't descend into madness, and I didn't end up behaving abysmally or waking up full of fear. But it was like a game of Russian Roulette. I wasn't able to guarantee that this time it would be okay.
There were 2 voices loud in my head in the first few months. One was reason. The other was my AV (my alcoholic voice ). It was surprisingly tricky for me to separate the 2 and only act on the reason. I remember asking someone "But how can I tell if it is my AV?" They told me that If it's telling me that drinking is a good idea or would solve something, or is okay for whatever reason - that's my AV, and it seemed pretty obvious to me then. Next I wanted to know how to make that AV shut up, or at least quieten down. They told me, the only way to weaken it is to starve it. The longer it is since it was fed (with alcohol), the weaker and quieter it will become - although it will still put up an occasional fight out of the blue. But this thing only dies when we do. Recovery is about getting sober, and staying sober long enough that the voice is quiet enough that it doesn't continue to drive us mad, and learning to ignore it when it does pipe up. And learning that you can't win a fight or argument with an AV. An AV plays dirty, and lies and threatens and then is your supposed best-buddy again, all in the space of seconds. The only way is to kind of disengage with it, shush it, and la-la-la it. A bit like talking to a spoilt brat toddler. Alongside that, we need to learn new and better ways to deal with life on life's terms (it will never be on our terms, after all). This was, for me, where AA really came in. Others have used SMART or similar. Some people go to adiction consellors. Some take up meditation or yoga. There are many different routes to re-training yourself with regards to dealing with stress, and feelings about the past, and fear about the future. Those links of Dee's on his thread about making a plan should stand you in good stead.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
There is no such thing as controlled drinking for an alcoholic. That feeling of being in control is, sadly, a delusion. Buying it in the first place wasn't a decision you were happy about making - otherwise you wouldn't have come on here to post about it. And why did you come on this forum in the first place if you can control your drinking. A week of abstinence doesn't mean we can control our drinking once we start. I tried a few 'month off' drinking in the hope it would kind of reset things, and I could then return to drinking and drink 'like a normal person'. Thing is. I'm not a normal person. I'm an alcoholic. And you can't un-pickle a cucumber. Sure, occasionally I did have a few and it didn't descend into madness, and I didn't end up behaving abysmally or waking up full of fear. But it was like a game of Russian Roulette. I wasn't able to guarantee that this time it would be okay.
There were 2 voices loud in my head in the first few months. One was reason. The other was my AV (my alcoholic voice ). It was surprisingly tricky for me to separate the 2 and only act on the reason. I remember asking someone "But how can I tell if it is my AV?" They told me that If it's telling me that drinking is a good idea or would solve something, or is okay for whatever reason - that's my AV, and it seemed pretty obvious to me then. Next I wanted to know how to make that AV shut up, or at least quieten down. They told me, the only way to weaken it is to starve it. The longer it is since it was fed (with alcohol), the weaker and quieter it will become - although it will still put up an occasional fight out of the blue. But this thing only dies when we do. Recovery is about getting sober, and staying sober long enough that the voice is quiet enough that it doesn't continue to drive us mad, and learning to ignore it when it does pipe up. And learning that you can't win a fight or argument with an AV. An AV plays dirty, and lies and threatens and then is your supposed best-buddy again, all in the space of seconds. The only way is to kind of disengage with it, shush it, and la-la-la it. A bit like talking to a spoilt brat toddler. Alongside that, we need to learn new and better ways to deal with life on life's terms (it will never be on our terms, after all). This was, for me, where AA really came in. Others have used SMART or similar. Some people go to adiction consellors. Some take up meditation or yoga. There are many different routes to re-training yourself with regards to dealing with stress, and feelings about the past, and fear about the future. Those links of Dee's on his thread about making a plan should stand you in good stead.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Perhaps it would help to consider the causes of the stress and what you can do about them.
For example, is it outside circumstances, the behaviour of others that is causing the stress. Would it be possible to change them?
Or is it your reaction to outside circumstances that leads to your stress? It seems to me it might be easier to change your reaction, rather than try to change others.
What do you think Alkolic?
For example, is it outside circumstances, the behaviour of others that is causing the stress. Would it be possible to change them?
Or is it your reaction to outside circumstances that leads to your stress? It seems to me it might be easier to change your reaction, rather than try to change others.
What do you think Alkolic?
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 49
Thx evryone. Ive read all of it. Thx for trying to help me.
Dont know the reason of that stress and as usuak from past, i use alcohol against it. Buy its cause damage to me about evrythig.
My mind just become empty when i drink. I dont like taste of drink anymore but feelings its provide are my best weapon against enemy i cannot fight because its inside my head.
God help i dont know what to do.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S5onhXnrZgE
Dont know the reason of that stress and as usuak from past, i use alcohol against it. Buy its cause damage to me about evrythig.
My mind just become empty when i drink. I dont like taste of drink anymore but feelings its provide are my best weapon against enemy i cannot fight because its inside my head.
God help i dont know what to do.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S5onhXnrZgE
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
You need to stop drinking no ifs no buts no coconuts take it off the menu & if you pray then pray and know were in your corner but you got to do this if you don't want to feel like this anymore
have you joined the class of august that will help
Start reading the threads there is so much help here
have you joined the class of august that will help
Start reading the threads there is so much help here
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 568
It has to be hard to be in the military and not drink and smoke. I know 80% of service men smoke, dip and drink. Here's a suggestion.... when you get off duty go to the gym. Make that your new stress reliever. Hang in there and thank you for your service. My son is in the service and I know how stressful it is.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Oshawa, Ontario
Posts: 46
alkolik, I've posted this on here already this week but last Wednesday I was feeling the effects of a summer long morning-night binge pattern. I was going through bad withdrawls and was faced with the decision to either go to the liquor store or go to a meeting. Boy am I ever happy I chose the healthy one. The fog has lifted and I feel fight in me that I no longer have to live as a slave to booze. We can over come. It takes work and its uncomfortable but we almost need to learn how to live again. I choose to read and post on here even over watching movies or shows. Keeping my head in the game and avoiding those urges by surrounding myself with recovery has helped control that
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