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Question About Relapse

Old 06-24-2016, 02:11 AM
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Question Question About Relapse

I wanted to get the opinion about from you guys about a possible relapse or slip.

I have been sober almost 5 years 8/11/11 is sobriety date. Drug of choice was alcohol and benzos. Was in pretty bad shape when I finally checked in to rehab. Prior to that, I was a chronic relapser for about 3 years prior to that and it took a lot to finally get sober.

The first few years of sobriety I was doing great. But last couple years, I have not really been praying or working steps, just going to meeting here and there. Mostly working a lot at my career.

I was hanging out at a mechanic shop and one of the mechanics was smoking pot out of one of those new vapor pens. I didn't smell the pot and was curious so I asked him to blow it out to smell if it smelled like pot. I think I may have gotten a little contact high from it. I enjoyed the feeling, which lasted about an hour. I didn't intend to get high at all, it happened by accident.

About 2 weeks later, I was hanging around another group of normie friends who was smoking pot out of a vapor pen. I told them to blow it in my face. I didn't really get high but I felt a little off. I immediately felt like I had done something I shouldn't have.

I called my sponsor and have been going to 90 in 90 and getting back into the steps. I realize I was engaging in risky behavior and it scared me. I cannot go back to drinking and drug using. I don't have the desire to use but I think I came pretty close to the edge. I didn't have the mental obsession and I know if I drink again, I WILL DIE!

I can't really figure out if it was a real relapse or not. I'm scared because I worked really hard to get these years of sobriety. Pot was never my drug of choice. I feel like I was just putting myself in bad situations. In the past when I relapsed, I would go on month long drinking binges which almost killed me.

My sponsor says that he doesn't think it was a relapse. He said I came as close as person could get.

It's been upsetting me and I just want to get the opinion of the group.
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Old 06-24-2016, 02:33 AM
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Hi jbizaz and welcome

For me that would be a relapse - but my recovery is pretty black and white and pot was one of my addictions.

You gotta call it as you see it.

To be honest I'd be more worried about the behavior rather than whether you relapsed or not.

You basically did everything but smoke it.

I'm glad you're taking steps to bolster your recovery now...

D
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Old 06-24-2016, 02:34 AM
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I feel like you know the answer to your question. I'm by no means an expert, (40 days sober) but maybe going to extra meetings is good if you feel you may be leaning towards relapse. 5 years is awesome. I'm inspired by that.
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Old 06-24-2016, 02:49 AM
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"I realize I was engaging in risky behavior and it scared me."

"When tempted we recoil as is from a hot flame".

No alcohol, no relapse. For me it would have been dangerous because the last time one little puff lead instantly to a drink. Your actions afterwards are what a sane person would do, so I believe it was a mistake rather than the return of the insanity of the first drink.
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Old 06-24-2016, 03:40 AM
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Originally Posted by jbizaz View Post
....About 2 weeks later, I was hanging around another group of normie friends who was smoking pot out of a vapor pen. I told them to blow it in my face. I didn't really get high but I felt a little off. I immediately felt like I had done something I shouldn't have.
And I would say you`re right.

Originally Posted by jbizaz View Post
...I can't really figure out if it was a real relapse or not. I'm scared because I worked really hard to get these years of sobriety.
Secrets People Keep in AA
#3. “I still smoke pot.”
http://www.substance.com/10-biggest-...ep-in-aa/5166/


Originally Posted by jbizaz View Post
...It's been upsetting me and I just want to get the opinion of the group.
It bothers you because you know it wasn`t a smart thing to do.

Originally Posted by jbizaz View Post
....
My sponsor says that he doesn't think it was a relapse. He said I came as close as person could get.
Only you can make the call but it sounds like you don`t want to re-set your soberity date. If that`s correct so be it.
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Old 06-24-2016, 03:43 AM
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For me it would be a relapse however what is important is getting back on the road to recovery, words associated to relapse, mental relapse are not important to me personally, as long as I know and feel inside I am sober

Andrew
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Old 06-24-2016, 04:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Gottalife View Post
....
"When tempted we recoil as is from a hot flame".


Ahh... yes that is indeed what happened. Was at an office party and picked up a glass of tea which I had put down. But I picked up the wrong drink. It was whiskey and water.

Recoiled immediately and spit it out in a napkin.

Originally Posted by Gottalife View Post
...
No alcohol, no relapse. For me it would have been dangerous because the last time one little puff lead instantly to a drink.

I`m not sure it would lead me immediately back to drinking. Over time my feeling is yes but the same day? Probably not. Nevertheless it`s not a game I want to play and find out.
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Old 06-24-2016, 05:04 AM
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The drinking and drug use are just one symptom of addiction. I would suggest another run through the 12 Steps or maybe seek an opinion from a professions mental health provider. I've found those who play with fire often get burned.
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Old 06-24-2016, 05:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Db1105 View Post
... I've found those who play with fire often get burned.
There it is.
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Old 06-24-2016, 07:09 PM
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That you so much everyone for your opinion. I feel more at peace about this. The most important thing is that I did not pick up that drink and that I feel like I have a second chance at recovery! I am so happy and grateful!

For now, I think I may keep my sobriety date and stay on the right track. But who knows one day I may decide to change my date if that is God's will. The problem is I don't even remmeber what day this happened. More will be revealed...
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Old 06-25-2016, 06:16 AM
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I went to a concert. I could smell the pot people were smoking. I didn't know who was doin it, but I could smell it.
was that a relapse?
no.

now, if I had been at that concert and asked that man to blow it in my face, dam straight it would be a relapse. I have absolutely no reason, other than to have a mind and mood altering experience, to have someone blow pot smoke in my face.
it would also be me taking my will and lkife back, insane, and completely forgetting where I came from.

jbizaz, imo, those events were premeditated and the relapse started a long time ago.

itsa great example of what happens when we let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels.
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Old 06-25-2016, 06:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Hi jbizaz and welcome



To be honest I'd be more worried about the behavior rather than whether you relapsed or not.

You basically did everything but smoke it.
You asked (twice, if I read right) to take in/ absorb the smoke. It didn't "just happen to you."

Call it whatever you want, but it was a bad decision. And it sounds like you might need to question why you are hanging around people who use?

Like we just talked about on the one weekend drink thread- it is what leads up to the using that matters most.

Glad you're back and asking questions - with the experience you describe behind you about getting clean...you know what to do now.

Good luck.
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Old 06-25-2016, 06:55 AM
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I wouldn't call it a relapse. Maybe a slip of the mind, since you went back to your will and not God's will.

Do you do step 10? That's a spot check inventory. It would've helped you in the moment see that your will wasn't aligned with God's will.

Also it helps to "pause" like it says to do in 10/11, to catch yourself in your thinking before you take action.

Don't beat yourself up over it, though, because the book says "when" our character defects crop up again... not "if".

I admire you for talking to someone (SR) about it, like step 10 says to do. You caught it extremely early so that's great. I'd take it as a lesson to get back into living in 10, 11, and 12.
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Old 06-25-2016, 06:58 AM
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just my opinion from up top the mountain

Originally Posted by jbizaz View Post

I immediately felt like I had done something I shouldn't have.

I can't really figure out if it was a real relapse or not.
Never thought that I would say something like this but,
in my book you have come about as close to a relapse as one can
without calling it a relapse.

So, I call it a (no relapse)
but,
best to keep a tight eye on the one looking back at you in the mirror.

A nice sober day wished for all,
Bob
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Old 06-25-2016, 02:43 PM
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If you had went out and bought some pot and started smoking it everyday. I would call it a relapse. But instead you're here and you're questioning your judgment. I think that says a lot. Some people are Black and White about this whole issue and that's fine with them. "To Thine Own Self Be True" is the phrase, you have to decide in your heart how you feel about this and what that decision will mean to your sobriety.

Will resetting your sobriety date to please to peanut gallery make you susceptible to going even further? If your sponsor already said he didn't count it as a relapse, I would go with what they were saying. That's why you have a sponsor in AA.

Remember "Progress not Perfection". As long as you can walk away from this experience having learned something, then I wouldn't beat myself senseless about it.

What's done is done, your next steps are most important and you seem to be moving in the right direction.
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Old 06-25-2016, 07:00 PM
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If your sponsor already said he didn't count it as a relapse, I would go with what they were saying. That's why you have a sponsor in AA.

the role of a sponsor is to 'guide' a person through the step-work. not to decide if someone else has had a relapse or not.
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Old 06-25-2016, 08:45 PM
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Originally Posted by fini View Post
If your sponsor already said he didn't count it as a relapse, I would go with what they were saying. That's why you have a sponsor in AA.

the role of a sponsor is to 'guide' a person through the step-work. not to decide if someone else has had a relapse or not.
AA Sponsor

"This individual is there to offer guidance and support to a sponsee. The sponsor is not only a person to guide the member through the AA program, but to also be there to listen. Being able to rely on a sympathetic ear can be particularly important when the individual feels on the verge of relapse."

http://www. alcoholrehab.com/addiction-articles/how-to-choose-an-aa-sponsor/

They do more than just lead you through the steps........
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Old 06-26-2016, 08:34 AM
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oh yes, of course they can do much more than that.
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Old 06-26-2016, 05:50 PM
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"The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God."

These days many sponsors attempt too much, delving into areas where they have no business. The main role of a sponsor is to show the newcomer how to have a life changing spiritual experience through the teaching and practice of the twelve steps. Whether or not this was a relapse is very much the application of the principles of the steps, which the sponsor can help with. At the end of the day, it is the OPs feelings on the matter and their feeling about God's will that count.
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Old 06-26-2016, 06:13 PM
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Usually if we dig deep into ourselves and ask an honest question
if we are not yet again fooling ourselves
the answer is easily seen as exposed to the light.

Trying to say
some questions only we know the (honest) answer to.

Mountainmanbob
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