jimmyc

Only been on here one day, 2 days since i dropped into my local support group and i've caved i've had to have a drink. I feel so much better but so much worse. Go figure. Hopefully docs on saturday can give me some meds to help kurb this sh**. No real point to this post other than to vent. Is there a diaries section on here?

entropy1964

What happened Jimmyc?

ScottFromWI

There is a stories of recovery section on the main page if that is what you are referring to Jimmyc. What kind of support group is your local one?

jimmyc

I've been feeling terrible worse than ever before after flat out stopping drinking, however i think this latest "stint" has been the one that's tipped my body over the edge, feels very much like withdrawal sounds. So I had a drink to hopefully put an end to those physical feelings and yep i feel a lot better, but mentally i'm just completely destroyed. How has it come to this. I'm 23 ffs...

Thanks scott i'll take a look. The local "group" I managed to find after desperately calling any number I could find. It's just a small gathering of people who are trying to stop/abstain etc.

Gottalife

I reached the end of my drinking, and almost my life when I was 22. There are plenty of young alcoholics, and plenty who make full recoveries. The greatest advantage to being young and sober is you get your whole life back, not just the last few years. I got to experience pretty much everything, career, family, children, adventure, but I guess most of all the feeling inside that everything is going to be OK.

Sonds like you might need some help. The first few days can be difficult as alcohol leaves your system. After that it is just a matter of making sure you don't drink again. Sounds simple, and in one way it is. But I found there is more to having a happy life than not drinking. I had to make some big changes in my attitudes as well.

jimmyc

Thanks gottalife. You say what almost everyone else has told me - I'm young. Well great, now what? Am i still not in the same situation as anyone else? I'm not having a go at all, i'm just trying to get my feelings out. I've had the odd month where I've quit but eventually it all comes back, and to be honest, those odd months have been terrible. I can't pull myself to be happy, can't even force it, it's like i'm not meant to be happy, or at least able to deal with day to day situations. I just "get by". The drink, needless to say, gets me by. But it's come to the point now where it's really starting to cost me (more than money). I'm seeking help saturday morning at the doctors. I'm going to stop drinking tomorrow evening to hopefully give withdrawal a good "seeing to" for the docs. I can't go through this cold turkey now, and I can't trust myself to cut down. One drink leads to however many it takes for me to pass out.

I have been considering CBT, however i'd like to see what the doctors say as money isn't something i've got in abundance. Thanks for your reply.

Bird615

I first got sober at 21 through treatment (rehab), time in a half-way house and AA. I've spent most of my life sober except for when I took it all for granted and fooled myself into thinking I could drink again. Found out I'm still an alcoholic.

I became happy with not drinking but it took some work and some time. For me, the 12 Steps really helped to turn my thinking around and look at the world differently. Just stopping drinking without those things didn't work. People find other ways; that's just what worked for me. It can be done.

jimmyc

Has anyone got any words for someone who's about to quit cold turkey? with the help of docs of course? I know it can be done, i've done my few months dry and come back, many times. I'm feeling very helpless at the moment. It won't be the first time i've tried to take my life.

jimmyc

I really need people at the moment I hate to be the beggar but it's not for posts, it's just so I know someone's there :'(

JD

We're here for you jimmy. What's going on?

graced333

A year or so ago, I was laying by the side of the road, completely out of it on booze and pills. The police had me taken to the hospital by ambulance. After a few months of being unable to stop the booze pill cycle, I entered rehab for six weeks. My life has completely changed - because I was willing. Willing to listen to my little child heart from yesteryear and do the right thing for ME and my loved ones. Become clear and open. It hurts, yes. But oh the relief! You can stay sober. You can live again in the light. Don't give up!!!!

breath

I went cold turkey with the option of heading to the emergency room if I needed to and I did. I've been sober 5 years now, and the best advice I can provide for both detox and staying sober is to...

#1 Be willing, and willing to do whatever it takes(within reason)
#2 Don't do it alone, find help from whatever resource works for you. AA, therapy, SR, rehab; or a combination of resources.
#3 Don't give up, ever.

Go For It jimmyc, you can do it, I did!

jseattle

You can get sober. You can. Drinking never makes anything better, really.

Getting sober alone is incredibly hard. We get medical help for cancer but not for addiction. For some reason we are told to just be tough. Please find support - there are many options - medical, IOP, addiction, AA, Smart, etc. You are swimming against a strong current trying to do this alone. I would advocate medical treatment that uses evidence based treatment but you can also call AA any time, 24/7 and talk to a person.

I know a number of young alcoholics, in recovery. It is very hard for them to accept the disease. However, they do and live very full lives. They also don't end up subjecting spouses and kids to their addiction because they got help early.

Gottalife

Hey Jimmy, ya gotta watch out for the "yes but" and "I know", two very dangerous phrases.

Recovery is a little different for us young folks. When I came into AA I wasn't the only young person, but there were a lot of people who had achieved a lot in their lives before losing it all to booze, They had more life experience, and the adavantage of at least knowing something about what a good life feels like.

I didn't have any of that. My life crashed on take off. I never achieved anything. All my experience of being sober was that it was miserable. I never had any happy sober times. With this sobriety thing, I had no idea what I was getting into. All I knew was that I wanted the misery to stop.

Lots of people pointed out the advantages of being young, but it didn't mean much to me at the time. They gave me loads of good advice. I knew it was good advice and one of my greatest frustrations was my inability to act on it. I nearly always ended up doing the opposite. That's what brought the despair I think, I just couldn't do anything righ, even when I tried my best.

So I got to this miserable point where I couldn't imagine life with or without alcohol. I met someone who had been there, and they gave me some hope, not understanding, just hope. From their I took a giant leap of faith and did what these folks suggested, and it didn't take very long for the world to change.

It chagned from a cold and frightening place to a warm and welcoming one, practically over night. I never looked back.

jimmyc

Humbling post Gottalife. Thank you.

Went to the docs this morning - once I'd said about why i'm there (again) she almost instantly clicked on alcohol withdrawal. They prescribed the usual thyamine and vitamin b, but also chlordiazepoxide.... librium for you americans?? I've just taken my last dose for the day, only taking one at a time. It's really helping with the shakes and sweating, I also seem to be able to focus a bit more. Haven't had a drink today and, as I'm now in bed, feel safe and proud in the fact that I won't be having any more, just for today. Tomorrow will be a new day, some lovely weather forecast, so i'll be trying to keep busy. Wash the car, take my gorgeous dog out, tidy the place up a bit, might even offer to help with the sunday roast (you know.... all the things a 23yr old should already be doing...).

Sorry for my ramblings... Wish we could post diaries without having to be sober for a year. I'd like to be able to record my journey, to look back on it in harder times, but hey ho, that's life. Cheers guys.

zjw

good job on a day 1.

I tapered in my case because i was afraid of DT's and refused to admit my problem to a doctor. hell I refused to admit my problem to myself or anyone else too.

Somehow or another tapering worked for me over the course of a few days by the time i hit like 5 or 6 beers i was flat out pissed off and thought this i just a waste and the next day didnt even bother drinking. If i cant get drunk wtf is the point?

I was lucky.

But your bright in getting some medical advice etc...

Its good your young because yoju'll have many awesome sober years ahead of your if you nip it in the bud now. I know for me I quit at 33 and soemtimes wish i had done it sooner but it is what it is and they tell us not to regret stuff etc..

strategery

You can start a blog. If you're in the forums, it is the 2nd white button to the top left. You can set it to be public or private.