gleefan

Hi Sleepie,

I'm sorry you're feeling lousy. I have a lifelong anxiety disorder that predated any alcohol use, and I understand how difficult it can be.

I was not someone who felt energetic and optimistic in early recovery. Life felt dull and beige. I had little to no motivation to do anything outside of the bare minimum of responsibilities. It took me quite some time to feel well.

What helped me? Willingness to do whatever means necessary to stay sober. Faith to believe other sober people who said that it will get better with time. Openness to try things outside of my comfort zone that other people said worked for them. You've had lots of good suggestions on this thread.

It took me many tries to get sober. I'm so proud of you for 5 months. My most important accomplishment every day is staying sober. Sobriety doesn't solve all my problems, but it makes it easier to find solutions.

Personally, I'm a proponent of AA. It's worked for many people over the years; in spite of my initial skepticism, it works for me too.

Hang in there. We are rooting for you.

Delfin

(((Sleeps)))

I understand you Sleepie. In many ways, now that we can feel *everything* in full force because our emotions are not dulled by the booze or the pills, it is very hard and even overwhelming sometimes. So we have to figure out how to maneuver this new world of full-on emotions.
The one thing I think would really help is if you would learn to be kinder to yourself and accept and love the person you are. I know that you would *never* talk about someone or talk to someone the way you do about yourself. I would love to see you show yourself the caring and compassion you have shown me, for example.
Keep moving forward, Sleeps. We're still in early sobriety and I think we have a lot of work left, but we can do this together, right?

D.

courage2

Hi sleeps. A lot of your OP, I could have written at about 9 months sober. I was pretty depressed. I definitely understand.

Meditation helped me. So did finding someone I could talk to about drugs & alcohol. Medically prescribed psychopharmaceuticals help some people, as does therapy. Have you ever seriously tried cognitive behavior therapy?

A person doesn't get happy just because they get sober. Sobriety (for me) just clears the air of some of the toxins, so that a person can see better opportunities to improve their lives.

This, I don't understand. I've taken ibuprofen for almost 40 years. In moderation, it's a problem for very few people, and there's no risk of abuse or addiction. Why live with pain that can be managed by an OTC?

sunshinel

Hi sleepie. You don't know me but I have been lurking on SR for a little while now getting some sober time then relapsing over and over again. I am quite shy to post but feel I just have to say something after reading about your pain at the moment. I have been following your posts and I think it is incredible that you now have 5 months sober and clean against all the odds. You are so kind, compassionate and encouraging to others, and you are an inspiration to me. I so hope you have a breakthrough soon with your sadness as I can't think of anyone who deserves it more. Hugs, and hoping today is a better day.

fantail

I have been terrified about my health. I had the scare where I had to get screened for cancer and a few other nasty diseases. Then the inflammation went down and my doctor's current take is that it was probably just my body still reacting to and/or healing from the really terrible last year of drinking I had.

I went to another specialist and they also said that they think I'm fine. But it's been really, really hard to let go. I'm always looking at myself in the mirror, feeling like I don't look as healthy as I should. I really can't tell if it's all in my head or not. Everything worries me.

So, that's all I've got. I sympathize. It's stressful. I do find that exercise makes me feel better whenever I get anxious or depressed or just rough in the head. Not a cure all but it's the most potent mood changer that exists in my sober life. An hour of exercise makes me feel sort of like I've had a couple of drinks, in terms of calming effect.

Hang in there.

sleepie

Thanks guys.

And welcome sunshinel, glad you are here with us- I hope you will join in and make it stick? As you have read... it can be done. Maybe not an ideal or "pink cloud" kinda thing for everyone, but doable. Hope to see you around more

sleepie

Hey sunshinel I read a few of your posts... you're breaking my heart. Come on kiddo let's do this together. PM me if you like. Would like so much to have another sober friend.

davaidavai

AA is really the only thing that has ever made me feel like i am moving in the right direction. I go to nyc meetings. Some say this is the best city for them because if you dont like one you can go to another. I go to this one meeting where people are sharing about selling their bodies and drinking cisco in back alleys. And it is a delight. It is like they have shed something that allows them to tell the gospel of the human condition and it is cathartic to hear. Sharing at first was hard for me because it is hard to speak from a place of honesty, but if you can manage it, it creates a good feeling. The people are often cagey and anti social or with strange attention defecits, hyped up on manic certainties, but in this way it is like the school of human behavior. You find yourself in them in an unnerving and informative way. It is basically a linear buddhist practice with a more malleable higher power geared toward helping you with your ego problems.

zjw

always love your posts DavaiDavai.

your right too its hard for me to navigate the people at my AA group between there social issues and disorders and my own. But it makes you realize that hey we are all bit screwed up and thats ok.