Hi sleepie. You don't know me but I have been lurking on SR for a little while now getting some sober time then relapsing over and over again. I am quite shy to post but feel I just have to say something after reading about your pain at the moment. I have been following your posts and I think it is incredible that you now have 5 months sober and clean against all the odds. You are so kind, compassionate and encouraging to others, and you are an inspiration to me. I so hope you have a breakthrough soon with your sadness as I can't think of anyone who deserves it more. Hugs, and hoping today is a better day.