Fell off the bandwagon yesterday and verbally abused my neighbours
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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Fell off the bandwagon yesterday and verbally abused my neighbours
I hadnt drank for 2 months but if I am being totally honest I was getting very bored with sobriety. I didnt want to deny myself the companionship and fun of going to the bar with my friends and getting drunk with them.
It of course led to me getting very drunk and later in the night I told my neighbours I was going to kill their dog if it kept barking (it had been annoying me by barking a lot in previous weeks but in my sobriety i chose to say nothing) and verbally abused another neighbour up the road. God knows what they think of me now, probably wont speak to me now.
Anyway sitting here feeling low with hot sweats and anxiety. I shouldnt have drank but sobriety can be so boring times. Im sorry walking, reading, ect just isnt the same as drinking with friends, drinking is probably my favourite thing to do but the consequences can be horrendous.
I just have to accept my life will be more boring without drink, I will be more boring without drink....im sorry but no activity can replace the buzz I get form drinking that is the harsh reality of things.
but i dont want to drink again so I have to accept it.
It of course led to me getting very drunk and later in the night I told my neighbours I was going to kill their dog if it kept barking (it had been annoying me by barking a lot in previous weeks but in my sobriety i chose to say nothing) and verbally abused another neighbour up the road. God knows what they think of me now, probably wont speak to me now.
Anyway sitting here feeling low with hot sweats and anxiety. I shouldnt have drank but sobriety can be so boring times. Im sorry walking, reading, ect just isnt the same as drinking with friends, drinking is probably my favourite thing to do but the consequences can be horrendous.
I just have to accept my life will be more boring without drink, I will be more boring without drink....im sorry but no activity can replace the buzz I get form drinking that is the harsh reality of things.
but i dont want to drink again so I have to accept it.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
you remind me of me
Originally Posted by Dan1888 
I was getting very bored with sobriety.
I told my neighbours I was going to kill their dog if it kept barking
let us face the cold hard facts
a little boredom may not be that bad of a thing ??
Mountainman
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
I agree with Mountainmanbob, it sounds like a little boredom could be just the thing you need right about now. Of course said tongue in cheek Dan. It's hard to see it now because you haven't gone far enough from your last drink to see the difference. If you can hold on long enough you will look back at that line of thinking and be surprised. There really is enjoyable life without drinking you just need to get there. At some you won't remember why it ever even mattered to you. Now is it just that ball and chain you have been carrying around in your back pocket.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,949
I said hi to this one guy that lives down the street when driving by the other day...he told me to f off..
that was the best laugh I had in about a year...
I don't think you did anything too bad..not compared to my neighbors
that was the best laugh I had in about a year...
I don't think you did anything too bad..not compared to my neighbors
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 183
Dan,
I understand what you're saying. Boredom figured into triggering me to drink when I was drinking. But - so did feeling huge work stress, feeling no work stress - being happy, being sad, etc. Whatever I was feeling, I wanted to either change my state of mind, or enhance it. Only, every time I drank, I blacked out, and sometimes said horrible things that I wouldn't remember. I've been off the roller coaster just shy of 5 months now, and just in the last couple of weeks, and I'd say the last week most strongly - I am beginning to realize that I need to find OTHER activities to do, and OTHER people to hang out with. Sitting around watching other people drink is now boring to me. Hearing their same old stories over and over and OVER again is now boring to me. And like I said, just very, very recently has my thinking just started to shift from, "I wish I could drink too," to "Ugh, what's the point?" I watch them get hammered, and I sit and think I'm Soooooo glad I'm not drinking. I'm so glad I won't have the hangover, I'm sooooo glad I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel here. Had I given in a month ago - when I was really struggling, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to enter this new phase, however slowly I may be entering it.
It sounds like you, like me KNOW, that the consequences are just not worth it. Try again, but this time, try to find activities that will keep you busy and distracted during the times you'd normally be out drinking with friends. You may not see any possibilities now - but I promise you if you think about it, you WILL think of some new things to try. Give yourself more time from the last drink.
And? Great job doing it for 2 months. You can do it again and more!
I understand what you're saying. Boredom figured into triggering me to drink when I was drinking. But - so did feeling huge work stress, feeling no work stress - being happy, being sad, etc. Whatever I was feeling, I wanted to either change my state of mind, or enhance it. Only, every time I drank, I blacked out, and sometimes said horrible things that I wouldn't remember. I've been off the roller coaster just shy of 5 months now, and just in the last couple of weeks, and I'd say the last week most strongly - I am beginning to realize that I need to find OTHER activities to do, and OTHER people to hang out with. Sitting around watching other people drink is now boring to me. Hearing their same old stories over and over and OVER again is now boring to me. And like I said, just very, very recently has my thinking just started to shift from, "I wish I could drink too," to "Ugh, what's the point?" I watch them get hammered, and I sit and think I'm Soooooo glad I'm not drinking. I'm so glad I won't have the hangover, I'm sooooo glad I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel here. Had I given in a month ago - when I was really struggling, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to enter this new phase, however slowly I may be entering it.
It sounds like you, like me KNOW, that the consequences are just not worth it. Try again, but this time, try to find activities that will keep you busy and distracted during the times you'd normally be out drinking with friends. You may not see any possibilities now - but I promise you if you think about it, you WILL think of some new things to try. Give yourself more time from the last drink.
And? Great job doing it for 2 months. You can do it again and more!
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Originally Posted by Dan1888
I hadnt drank for 2 months but if I am being totally honest I was getting very bored with sobriety. I didnt want to deny myself the companionship and fun of going to the bar with my friends and getting drunk with them.
It of course led to me getting very drunk and later in the night I told my neighbours I was going to kill their dog if it kept barking (it had been annoying me by barking a lot in previous weeks but in my sobriety i chose to say nothing) and verbally abused another neighbour up the road. God knows what they think of me now, probably wont speak to me now.
Anyway sitting here feeling low with hot sweats and anxiety. I shouldnt have drank but sobriety can be so boring times. Im sorry walking, reading, ect just isnt the same as drinking with friends, drinking is probably my favourite thing to do but the consequences can be horrendous.
I just have to accept my life will be more boring without drink, I will be more boring without drink....im sorry but no activity can replace the buzz I get form drinking that is the harsh reality of things.
but i dont want to drink again so I have to accept it.
It of course led to me getting very drunk and later in the night I told my neighbours I was going to kill their dog if it kept barking (it had been annoying me by barking a lot in previous weeks but in my sobriety i chose to say nothing) and verbally abused another neighbour up the road. God knows what they think of me now, probably wont speak to me now.
Anyway sitting here feeling low with hot sweats and anxiety. I shouldnt have drank but sobriety can be so boring times. Im sorry walking, reading, ect just isnt the same as drinking with friends, drinking is probably my favourite thing to do but the consequences can be horrendous.
I just have to accept my life will be more boring without drink, I will be more boring without drink....im sorry but no activity can replace the buzz I get form drinking that is the harsh reality of things.
but i dont want to drink again so I have to accept it.
That was fine for a drunk guy but really boring for someone getting sober.
If your idea of fun is drinking in a bar with your mates you need to widen your definition a little bit Dan or you'll always feel that sense of missing out.
My life is not boring. I do a lot of things I never would have thought of when I was drinking.
I honestly never have time to be bored anymore.
Try thinking of things you used to do, or want to do that don't involve propping up a bar.
no activity can replace the buzz I get form drinking that is the harsh reality of things.
Life's what you make it Dan. If it's boring? it's up to you to change it
D
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 639
A little boredom might save you from a sound thrashing and/or jail time my friend. And I'm not saying that to sound mean or question your physical acumen. Lord knows I shot my mouth off and irritated my neighbors many a time because I was drunk. It's a miracle no one ever knocked my drunken lights out or my teeth down my throat because I certainly deserved it. Hospital beds and jails are pretty boring I can tell you that.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Take heart Dan, what you are suffering from is not boredom, it's the euphoric recall effect that alcohol has on our system.
How Does Euphoric Recall Contribute to Relapse? | Addiction Help CenterHow Does Euphoric Recall Contribute to Relapse?
The fact is, alcohol is not a fun catch up with mates for you, the results are unpredictable...as you say here yourself;
Don't worry, you aren't the only one who thinks they feel bored in the beginning. I'm sitting here, not hungover, not ashamed of what I did last night and about to have my lunch, that I can eat without feeling violently ill. That's not boring, that's living a contented life. Please keep trying to get through the lies our addicted brain tells us.
Best wishes.
How Does Euphoric Recall Contribute to Relapse? | Addiction Help CenterHow Does Euphoric Recall Contribute to Relapse?
The fact is, alcohol is not a fun catch up with mates for you, the results are unpredictable...as you say here yourself;
Originally Posted by Dan1888
Done this so many times. Ive embarrassed myself and blacked out too many times to count, hearing some of things I got up to when I was absolutely out of it made me cringe. It usually involved me being pretty offensive to people or getting barred from somewhere. This site is actually really helping me, try visiting it every day even if its just for a few minutes and read some of the threads.
If you cant break the cycle by yourself get help because you really are going to be going round in circles for the rest of your life if you dont.
Get drunk- Embarrass yourself - Feel better - Get drunk- Embarrass yourself - Feel better - Get drunk- Embarrass yourself - Feel better - Get drunk- Embarrass yourself - Feel better - Get drunk- Embarrass yourself - Feel better.....and so it will go on and on.
Im just turned 36 Ive been doing that for over 20 years. Enough is enough, there is more to life than that.
If you cant break the cycle by yourself get help because you really are going to be going round in circles for the rest of your life if you dont.
Get drunk- Embarrass yourself - Feel better - Get drunk- Embarrass yourself - Feel better - Get drunk- Embarrass yourself - Feel better - Get drunk- Embarrass yourself - Feel better - Get drunk- Embarrass yourself - Feel better.....and so it will go on and on.
Im just turned 36 Ive been doing that for over 20 years. Enough is enough, there is more to life than that.
Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,478
Avoiding Boredom
Some Drunk next door hurts, or threatens to hurt, my Dog, their Life will become anything but boring in about a femto-second. Such matters are discussed and resolved politely in the Yard over the Fence. This is not theory. I've used this approach, and it works. On most People.
I don't Gamble. So, let me predict something that requires no Gambling. A Video Cam overlooking a Drunk Neighbor's Yard would likely show a Time Lapse Record of a World Class A-Hole acting in a manner that makes a barking Dog look as quiet in comparison as a Meditation Resort. Yelling. Fights. Family Members blowing out of the House at all hours, P.O.ed. LEOs and Ambulances showing up. Ad nauseum.
My p/t Neighbor in W. Colorado w/5 DUIs emptied a 10 Bullet Clip my direction from ~1/2 mile away while pulling the Trigger as fast as possible in a misguided attempt to 'send me a message'. I responded in a non-violent manner that ensured such aggression would terminate immediately and permanently. It did. Firm resolve is all that some Drunks understand.
I suppose this could be seen as one of those situations where only an Addict truly understands another Addict.
Add this barking Dog incident to a likely long List of overdue Amends. Every Relapse can be a learning experience.
I don't Gamble. So, let me predict something that requires no Gambling. A Video Cam overlooking a Drunk Neighbor's Yard would likely show a Time Lapse Record of a World Class A-Hole acting in a manner that makes a barking Dog look as quiet in comparison as a Meditation Resort. Yelling. Fights. Family Members blowing out of the House at all hours, P.O.ed. LEOs and Ambulances showing up. Ad nauseum.
My p/t Neighbor in W. Colorado w/5 DUIs emptied a 10 Bullet Clip my direction from ~1/2 mile away while pulling the Trigger as fast as possible in a misguided attempt to 'send me a message'. I responded in a non-violent manner that ensured such aggression would terminate immediately and permanently. It did. Firm resolve is all that some Drunks understand.
I suppose this could be seen as one of those situations where only an Addict truly understands another Addict.
Add this barking Dog incident to a likely long List of overdue Amends. Every Relapse can be a learning experience.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
Boredom is safe dan, alcoholism kills. Im not checking out that way. And neither should you. Take it one day at a time dan and one morning you'll wake up and boredom will be gone. Trust me. Give it some time.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Whitehaven UK
Posts: 221
Dear Dan1888
I myself am two months sober having had several blips since December after being sober for 7 months previous
Don't fall for this trap.....you find sobriety boring ? I can totally relate to that but when you think long and hard and with honesty its actually the intoxicated behaviour that is very boring indeed . The elusion and lies that our alcohol friend I'd rather call it a foe lets us believe that getting drunk is fun, the fights, the awful behaviour ie sleeping around, stealing, being obnoxious all those kind of things that being intoxicated can do to us . We think this is fun ?
REALLY ?
Now I'm sober I notice things I never noticed before , next time your in town take a long hard look at the pubs you used to venture in ...don't go in them but keep an eye out for when the people come out for smokes....
you will notice its all the same crowd, no matter what day of the week it is the same crowd will be there, talking the same **** they did the day before, doing the same thing they did yesterday its like there trapped in a vicious cycle of repeating everything, they are stuck its like the rest of the world swams around them like moving ants and those people are stuck by a sticky substance like tar and they just don't move.....
Is that exciting ? Is that amazing ? You keep repeating the same over and over again because your puddled alcoholic brain cant remember what you did so on and on and on and on it goes.
I just thought I would mention that's what I have noticed and I feel pity for them I really do I also NEVER WANT TO BE IN THAT SAME PLACE AGAIN EITHER .
Being sober is tough, you must fill your time that you spent getting intoxicated doing other things, alcohol takes up a lot of energy and time ,,,when this finally stops you have all this time
Fill it, do the things you used to enjoy before alcohol got its tentacles on you, find new friends, go to support groups, volunteer do whatever you can!
Soon you will discover a new YOU ! You will embrace sobriety and what it gives you, waking up refreshed everyday and with a clear mind full of memory is beyond words.
Also why torture yourself by hanging around your drunk friends , I don't understand this part....are they really your friends ? Why put yourself in a very dangerous zone being around them and that environment , the alcohol wants you to be there I guess so it can invade your body again and destroy you.
DONT LET IT
LET ME KNOW how you get on
charlotte
I myself am two months sober having had several blips since December after being sober for 7 months previous
Don't fall for this trap.....you find sobriety boring ? I can totally relate to that but when you think long and hard and with honesty its actually the intoxicated behaviour that is very boring indeed . The elusion and lies that our alcohol friend I'd rather call it a foe lets us believe that getting drunk is fun, the fights, the awful behaviour ie sleeping around, stealing, being obnoxious all those kind of things that being intoxicated can do to us . We think this is fun ?
REALLY ?
Now I'm sober I notice things I never noticed before , next time your in town take a long hard look at the pubs you used to venture in ...don't go in them but keep an eye out for when the people come out for smokes....
you will notice its all the same crowd, no matter what day of the week it is the same crowd will be there, talking the same **** they did the day before, doing the same thing they did yesterday its like there trapped in a vicious cycle of repeating everything, they are stuck its like the rest of the world swams around them like moving ants and those people are stuck by a sticky substance like tar and they just don't move.....
Is that exciting ? Is that amazing ? You keep repeating the same over and over again because your puddled alcoholic brain cant remember what you did so on and on and on and on it goes.
I just thought I would mention that's what I have noticed and I feel pity for them I really do I also NEVER WANT TO BE IN THAT SAME PLACE AGAIN EITHER .
Being sober is tough, you must fill your time that you spent getting intoxicated doing other things, alcohol takes up a lot of energy and time ,,,when this finally stops you have all this time
Fill it, do the things you used to enjoy before alcohol got its tentacles on you, find new friends, go to support groups, volunteer do whatever you can!
Soon you will discover a new YOU ! You will embrace sobriety and what it gives you, waking up refreshed everyday and with a clear mind full of memory is beyond words.
Also why torture yourself by hanging around your drunk friends , I don't understand this part....are they really your friends ? Why put yourself in a very dangerous zone being around them and that environment , the alcohol wants you to be there I guess so it can invade your body again and destroy you.
DONT LET IT
LET ME KNOW how you get on
charlotte
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
You know what seems boring to me? Going to a bar all the time with the same people, getting drunk and doing the same darn things over and over again. Talk about boring!!
What's better is getting sober, and doing a whole bunch of new things that you woul have never "made time for" becasue you wanted to go get drunk with your friends.
You'd be surprised how amazing being sober is. Give it another shot, but with a new mentality.
What's better is getting sober, and doing a whole bunch of new things that you woul have never "made time for" becasue you wanted to go get drunk with your friends.
You'd be surprised how amazing being sober is. Give it another shot, but with a new mentality.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 61
Originally Posted by MesaMan
Some Drunk next door hurts, or threatens to hurt, my Dog, their Life will become anything but boring in about a femto-second. Such matters are discussed and resolved politely in the Yard over the Fence. This is not theory. I've used this approach, and it works. On most People.
I don't Gamble. So, let me predict something that requires no Gambling. A Video Cam overlooking a Drunk Neighbor's Yard would likely show a Time Lapse Record of a World Class A-Hole acting in a manner that makes a barking Dog look as quiet in comparison as a Meditation Resort. Yelling. Fights. Family Members blowing out of the House at all hours, P.O.ed. LEOs and Ambulances showing up. Ad nauseum.
My p/t Neighbor in W. Colorado w/5 DUIs emptied a 10 Bullet Clip my direction from ~1/2 mile away while pulling the Trigger as fast as possible in a misguided attempt to 'send me a message'. I responded in a non-violent manner that ensured such aggression would terminate immediately and permanently. It did. Firm resolve is all that some Drunks understand.
I suppose this could be seen as one of those situations where only an Addict truly understands another Addict.
Add this barking Dog incident to a likely long List of overdue Amends. Every Relapse can be a learning experience.
I don't Gamble. So, let me predict something that requires no Gambling. A Video Cam overlooking a Drunk Neighbor's Yard would likely show a Time Lapse Record of a World Class A-Hole acting in a manner that makes a barking Dog look as quiet in comparison as a Meditation Resort. Yelling. Fights. Family Members blowing out of the House at all hours, P.O.ed. LEOs and Ambulances showing up. Ad nauseum.
My p/t Neighbor in W. Colorado w/5 DUIs emptied a 10 Bullet Clip my direction from ~1/2 mile away while pulling the Trigger as fast as possible in a misguided attempt to 'send me a message'. I responded in a non-violent manner that ensured such aggression would terminate immediately and permanently. It did. Firm resolve is all that some Drunks understand.
I suppose this could be seen as one of those situations where only an Addict truly understands another Addict.
Add this barking Dog incident to a likely long List of overdue Amends. Every Relapse can be a learning experience.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Originally Posted by Dan1888
actually no, none of those things have ever happened in my garden and this is the first time Ive ever fell out with the neighbours. Im back sober and yesterday I reported them to the local council because of their damn dog barking all day and night. I will not be apologizing for their barking dog, they will be apologizing to me.
Congrats on getting sober. Good luck on becoming a better person.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I disagree about boredom. I lead a full and non boring life. I have sober friends and we do sober activities. Sobriety is about change. You have to rebuild a new life not try to salvage the old. Until we replace our old activities with new we ate destin to fail.
If Sobriety was a boring and horrible life there would be no point staying sober. Five years down the road I can tell you it is better than anything I could have imagined
If Sobriety was a boring and horrible life there would be no point staying sober. Five years down the road I can tell you it is better than anything I could have imagined
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
I disagree about boredom. I lead a full and non boring life. I have sober friends and we do sober activities. Sobriety is about change. You have to rebuild a new life not try to salvage the old. Until we replace our old activities with new we ate destin to fail.
If Sobriety was a boring and horrible life there would be no point staying sober. Five years down the road I can tell you it is better than anything I could have imagined
If Sobriety was a boring and horrible life there would be no point staying sober. Five years down the road I can tell you it is better than anything I could have imagined
When I first got clean and sober life felt like I had brought the throttle back ot 65MPH as I was staying within the lines. The relative change in mindset felt "boring" to me given what I had become acustmed too. Now, as I have ten months of clarity I can look at my life and realize its anythign but boring. But I understand the argument, particularly in the beginning stages of recovery.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by jdooner
I agree with your post MI. However, in early recovery I can see how many view sobrietyas boring. As an alcoholic/addcit I used to believe that euphoria was happiness. This was part of my deluded mindset. To use a car analogy, I felt I had to travel at 150MPH in all my activities.
When I first got clean and sober life felt like I had brought the throttle back ot 65MPH as I was staying within the lines. The relative change in mindset felt "boring" to me given what I had become acustmed too. Now, as I have ten months of clarity I can look at my life and realize its anythign but boring. But I understand the argument, particularly in the beginning stages of recovery.
When I first got clean and sober life felt like I had brought the throttle back ot 65MPH as I was staying within the lines. The relative change in mindset felt "boring" to me given what I had become acustmed too. Now, as I have ten months of clarity I can look at my life and realize its anythign but boring. But I understand the argument, particularly in the beginning stages of recovery.
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