Diary of a Mad Cow, Part III - Beware all ye who enter!
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Is secret German Clinic, Lenina. Is very painful procedure. Is not for you. Is only in entertainments that you has to look 30 when you 60 and pretend you just 'takes good care of you self."
That a sweet meditation SnarkBunny. I think I meditates when I take walk, cuz everybody else talking on phone or listen to music or yelling at dog and such, but I looking about at every beautiful thing I can spy. Flower or tree or bunny or bird. Is appreciation attention.
Well I lucky, Hawkeye, I never really hurt anybody but self. So, not have to grapple with what I can imagine is lot of complicated guilt. But definite remorse for wasting 30+ years and thinking what could has been or what maybe I accomplish if I had get it together sooner. And definitely regret for damage I do to physical and mental health. Oh, yeah, and plus also not to mention I STILL DOING IT! Although I does have little 4-day toe hold into sobriety.
That a sweet meditation SnarkBunny. I think I meditates when I take walk, cuz everybody else talking on phone or listen to music or yelling at dog and such, but I looking about at every beautiful thing I can spy. Flower or tree or bunny or bird. Is appreciation attention.
Well I lucky, Hawkeye, I never really hurt anybody but self. So, not have to grapple with what I can imagine is lot of complicated guilt. But definite remorse for wasting 30+ years and thinking what could has been or what maybe I accomplish if I had get it together sooner. And definitely regret for damage I do to physical and mental health. Oh, yeah, and plus also not to mention I STILL DOING IT! Although I does have little 4-day toe hold into sobriety.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Good on you for 4 days -- we all know how hard it is. I expect you have 5 toes, so might as well knock out one more day and you'll have a whole foot in.
Sleep tight, cow. I look forward to seeing you again soon.
Sleep tight, cow. I look forward to seeing you again soon.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Brooklyn, ny
Posts: 734
Cows hoofs are cloven into two toes, therefore Cow is already two feet into sobriety!
As the old italian man sitting on the stoop next me says to the neighbor's kids hanging out "hey boys, keepa go!"
Keepa go Cow!
As the old italian man sitting on the stoop next me says to the neighbor's kids hanging out "hey boys, keepa go!"
Keepa go Cow!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Originally Posted by courage2 
Snarkbunny makes 'em up as she goes along. It's all about the breathing, pranayam. I do have a cool thing about pebbles that's really been working for me for the last month -- you're welcome to try it, no patent pending 
From the 1 year & Under thread in February:
From the 1 year & Under thread in February:
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Hawkeye, I am a California lady. born and bred, multigenerational. LOL I see the results of some bad surgerical interventions against the Grandmother of Time often. I'll stay with the DBA protocol for the time being. LOL
Cow, continue on! daily mainentence is what we need for our sobriety. after a while, it becomes second nature, like brushing your teeth or such. I think we do get a muscle memory sort of thing with our thoughts. Habits of Mind, that sort of thing. Today I rarely go to thoughts of maladaptive behaviors of mine. I rarely struggle with obsessions of my past addictions (alcohol and smoking ciggies).
Although lately I have to acknowledge some emotional eating when anxious. This is new behavior for me. I'm connecting it to menopause and work place stressors. One of my workmates called me out on it. after a rather stressful event, he watched me scarf potato chips, a power bar and some cookies. I appreciate him mentioning it as he did so with love and humor. He knew I wasn't hungry as we had breakfast together. so I guess I'll have to redouble my efforts to catch the warning signals of unuseful behaviors and take time to breathe constructively. does this make sense? LOL
I am home today and had a fairly decent sleep cycle. I did have some lucid dreaming about looking for a new place to live.
Love from Lenina
Cow, continue on! daily mainentence is what we need for our sobriety. after a while, it becomes second nature, like brushing your teeth or such. I think we do get a muscle memory sort of thing with our thoughts. Habits of Mind, that sort of thing. Today I rarely go to thoughts of maladaptive behaviors of mine. I rarely struggle with obsessions of my past addictions (alcohol and smoking ciggies).
Although lately I have to acknowledge some emotional eating when anxious. This is new behavior for me. I'm connecting it to menopause and work place stressors. One of my workmates called me out on it. after a rather stressful event, he watched me scarf potato chips, a power bar and some cookies. I appreciate him mentioning it as he did so with love and humor. He knew I wasn't hungry as we had breakfast together. so I guess I'll have to redouble my efforts to catch the warning signals of unuseful behaviors and take time to breathe constructively. does this make sense? LOL
I am home today and had a fairly decent sleep cycle. I did have some lucid dreaming about looking for a new place to live.
Love from Lenina
Woe is Moo.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Also good to see you, fair Scottish Lassie.
Lenina, Yes, I has have the eating disorders also, like, all of them at one point or other. Even still now is Herculean struggle for Cow to adhere to super strict spartan diet which I must in order to control brain chemistry so I not go compelled to the drinking. This is bigger struggle than attachment to booze, although is all connect of course.
Lenina, Yes, I has have the eating disorders also, like, all of them at one point or other. Even still now is Herculean struggle for Cow to adhere to super strict spartan diet which I must in order to control brain chemistry so I not go compelled to the drinking. This is bigger struggle than attachment to booze, although is all connect of course.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
What can you eat on a "super strict spartan diet" Cow?
Grass? I thought that was cow-food anyway
[By the way, I think it is great you have gotten a hoof-hold going here.
My joking is for fun and support, not mean teasing]
Lenina; I guess seeing those bad plastic surgery results would send you screaming for duct tape--point taken
I'm also having these mad sugar cravings that I haven't had in years and years. Scarfing all sorts of crap.
Normally, I don't eat it at all.
I hadn't thought about menopause--I was blaming it on my relapse in August. Hmmmm.
Or, it could be that we are morphing like Gregor Samsa into some sort of menopausal insect superwomen who live on junk food
Is that what all the chemtrailing is really about. . .keeping our hormonal shrapnel from destroying the earth and the Conservative Right Wing right along with it?
I think I need to hang from the ceiling and mull this one over for awhile. . .
Night friends
Grass? I thought that was cow-food anyway
[By the way, I think it is great you have gotten a hoof-hold going here.
My joking is for fun and support, not mean teasing]
Lenina; I guess seeing those bad plastic surgery results would send you screaming for duct tape--point taken
I'm also having these mad sugar cravings that I haven't had in years and years. Scarfing all sorts of crap.
Normally, I don't eat it at all.
I hadn't thought about menopause--I was blaming it on my relapse in August. Hmmmm.
Or, it could be that we are morphing like Gregor Samsa into some sort of menopausal insect superwomen who live on junk food
Is that what all the chemtrailing is really about. . .keeping our hormonal shrapnel from destroying the earth and the Conservative Right Wing right along with it?
I think I need to hang from the ceiling and mull this one over for awhile. . .
Night friends
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Chemtrailing? We call it "crop dusting" or am thinking of something else? yes, menopause has all sorts of not so fun stuff. our chemical soups are a more delicate balance than one would think.
I have been very interested in the brain chemistry and addictive/compulsive behaviors. I took Chantix to help with quitting smoking. It's a harsh drug. I wouldn't take it again but it did help me, I think. Alan Carr's books helped some too. hypnotism didn't. I can see a genetic component as well as nurture or lack of with these disorders. one of my sisters has had eating disorders with along with her addictions to drugs.
hawk, do you hang by your heels or one of those Teeter deals? I think the rush of blood to the face might put a nice, rosy glow on ones cheeks.
cow, I have been thinking about seeing a dietician for some guidence. I know youve done all these things. Any suggestions? my friend drinks a green something juice but I don't like the taste.
Love from Lenina
I have been very interested in the brain chemistry and addictive/compulsive behaviors. I took Chantix to help with quitting smoking. It's a harsh drug. I wouldn't take it again but it did help me, I think. Alan Carr's books helped some too. hypnotism didn't. I can see a genetic component as well as nurture or lack of with these disorders. one of my sisters has had eating disorders with along with her addictions to drugs.
hawk, do you hang by your heels or one of those Teeter deals? I think the rush of blood to the face might put a nice, rosy glow on ones cheeks.
cow, I have been thinking about seeing a dietician for some guidence. I know youve done all these things. Any suggestions? my friend drinks a green something juice but I don't like the taste.
Love from Lenina
Woe is Moo.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Yes, Cow has done MUCH research and seen MANY advisors. Diet for best health is: meat, egg, veg, fruit, nuts. Sorry. Basically is what human tribes eat in they natural environment for many million of years, yes? Not fun, not pretty, but there it is. Oh, also you can has fungus like mushroom and insects. Rule of thumb is, if you could (theoretically) hunt it, or dig it out of ground or pull off tree, have at it. Just like rest of animals. Enjoy!
I being little bit flippant, because is almost impossible to do this when surround with endless buffet of neolithic foods. But I tell you from experience, neolithic foods is cause of LOT of problem both physical and mental, and when you stick to this diet, you can feel better than you ever has before. Both because is extremely nutrient dense, but also, even moreso, cuz of all the crap it remove from what you ingesting.
I being little bit flippant, because is almost impossible to do this when surround with endless buffet of neolithic foods. But I tell you from experience, neolithic foods is cause of LOT of problem both physical and mental, and when you stick to this diet, you can feel better than you ever has before. Both because is extremely nutrient dense, but also, even moreso, cuz of all the crap it remove from what you ingesting.
Woe is Moo.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Soberleigh, how long you been sober and what was turn point for you? Plus also, I think I knows you well enough now for to say that for many alcoholic, you username sound like total awkward sexual encounter! --at least for this cow! Ha ha moo ha!
Poison Eater Extraordinaire
Join Date: Aug 2011
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Originally Posted by Cow
FT, one sentence is not "speech." I just trying to say, at least for Cow, is sometimes easier to settle into not so comfy but oh so familiar sofa of self-disgust than to do actual changing. I never mentions X,Y,Z or any other of alphabet --but if I did, I would total choose some other letters for you right about now, ha ha moo ha! (I kid ...sort of.)
.
Happy to hear about your 4 days, Cow. I have 1.5 so far. Not feeling too bad actually.
Although something terrifying did happen to me that I had to encounter sober. I had to read a book about a cat to 20 4-year olds this morning. I knew this was going to happen a week ago and was thinking I would have to have a few swigs before going in. The gang of 4-year olds was not so scary afterall, but some asked some very hard questions: Why does that cat have to live in a box? Why is that cat so small? Where are its parents? Jesus, I felt like I was being interrogated by the midget CIA.
Anyway, off to do some other less-exciting activities that I also normally don't do sober (laundry, cleaning - you know, real stressful stuff).
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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Originally Posted by Cow
Soberleigh, how long you been sober and what was turn point for you? Plus also, I think I knows you well enough now for to say that for many alcoholic, you username sound like total awkward sexual encounter! --at least for this cow! Ha ha moo ha!
Too funny. Heavens, I never thought about my name that way but "I see said the blind man". Leigh is pronounced Lee. SoberLeigh (soberly) is how I want to live my life.
Absolutely love ya, cow; maybe I should change my name.
Woe is Moo.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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Soberly, I sorry for you loss. I glad at least one good thing come of it. Cow very proud for you. I has face similar losses, and while it shake me, it not enough to effect change. But then, even my own near death was no enough to effect change, so that pretty lame. I happy for you, you well on other side of it.
You keepa go, Soberly!
FT, bitch please, you not has to apologize to Cow. We all has our moments. No matter how bitchtastic you act out, you still welcome in Cow house. When I younger, I was total jerk about my addictions. Like "Yo, everybody STFU, cuz I belle of the bar and not care if I gonna die!" I use to wear AA slogan stickers on my boots to go to bar. I was badass 'bout my drinking. Now I realize I was just an ass.
You keepa go, Soberly!
FT, bitch please, you not has to apologize to Cow. We all has our moments. No matter how bitchtastic you act out, you still welcome in Cow house. When I younger, I was total jerk about my addictions. Like "Yo, everybody STFU, cuz I belle of the bar and not care if I gonna die!" I use to wear AA slogan stickers on my boots to go to bar. I was badass 'bout my drinking. Now I realize I was just an ass.
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