People Who Lie About Sobriety
i never lie and i never point fingers
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
In a recovery group or close relationships? For me, it's my decision to mind my truth regarding sobriety and not step into others' territory unless they want me to, or with giving advice. I lied long enough about myself to the whole world before getting sober, don't see the point of that in recovery, for me no role or image are worth it.
But honestly, I would not reveal my past drinking and that I am sober now due to that, to work colleagues, for example. If that's a lie then a lie.
It's everyone's own decision and responsibility, really. Of course it's sad to see someone struggling and I do understand lies. But I think it's more important to regain honesty and build any role, contribution, or personal identity on that.
But honestly, I would not reveal my past drinking and that I am sober now due to that, to work colleagues, for example. If that's a lie then a lie.
It's everyone's own decision and responsibility, really. Of course it's sad to see someone struggling and I do understand lies. But I think it's more important to regain honesty and build any role, contribution, or personal identity on that.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot 
A little drink here and there. A couple tokes now and again. A few pills. The lie believed is its okay since they didn't really tie one on. Didn't really get out of control. They still call it sobriety not because they believe it, but because the truth hurts worse to call it anything else.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Knowing for a fact people's Sober time would serve very little purpose, when I first came to SR I wasn't initially inspired in the way I am now, by people quoting years and years of Sobriety, I was more concerned about how I was getting through the next 24hrs without a drink, what small gems of experience I could pick up, something that I could apply to just get me through 1 more day Sober, that's what was important.
I guess such advice could still come from someone who is giving false representation about their Sober date, does that advice become less valid? because experience is experience, and no less helpful to the person reading it, if indeed it ends up working within their plan of recovery, so on the whole getting down to "proving" is not necessary.
As for lying on SR, I'm not sure why anyone would get much out of it, anonymous posting on an anonymous website, what's in it for the poster?!!
The reality is, many members simply slip away and are never heard of for a long period of time when they relapse, I can't see any gain in posting they are still Sober when they are not, and when they do come back, usually a very honest cry for help and support follows.
I guess such advice could still come from someone who is giving false representation about their Sober date, does that advice become less valid? because experience is experience, and no less helpful to the person reading it, if indeed it ends up working within their plan of recovery, so on the whole getting down to "proving" is not necessary.
As for lying on SR, I'm not sure why anyone would get much out of it, anonymous posting on an anonymous website, what's in it for the poster?!!
The reality is, many members simply slip away and are never heard of for a long period of time when they relapse, I can't see any gain in posting they are still Sober when they are not, and when they do come back, usually a very honest cry for help and support follows.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Dublin, Ireland.
Posts: 739
I think this is a bit of a red herring.
The purpose of this site is mutual support.
So if somebody is as high as a kite and offering support about sobriety, it's possible their post is coherent and even helpful.
But given we can't see each other, you're putting faith in the post rather than the person, I suppose.
Anyway, I don't think anybody would benefit very much from lying about their sobriety.
Edit
I had missed Purple Knight's post which says what I wanted to say but better!
The purpose of this site is mutual support.
So if somebody is as high as a kite and offering support about sobriety, it's possible their post is coherent and even helpful.
But given we can't see each other, you're putting faith in the post rather than the person, I suppose.
Anyway, I don't think anybody would benefit very much from lying about their sobriety.
Edit
I had missed Purple Knight's post which says what I wanted to say but better!
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
Originally Posted by Turninganewleaf
True, but I believe they can also be hurting others by giving bad advice. I wish we had a way to prove peoples sobriety.
Personally I try not to give out advice but to share my experience. Anyone can give out advice but it doesn't mean they are following it themselves. The people I get the most from on SR are those who share their experience, and IMO it doesn't take long to tell who those people are. When someone shares their sobriety time it does help me put their shares in context, but it's the message within their share that I ultimately pay attention to.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: CA.....Hometown : Sioux Falls
Posts: 2,624
This is a good opportunity to post my slip. I've only shared with one friend on SR who wondered where I was. I had a cancer scare and going through it alone and waiting a week for results, the stress got to me. But it was benign and my yearly checkup I passed even the blood work. At 65 with my drinking history I'm surprised. I've been beating myself up, feeling ashamed, and not posting much but back on track and the depression is lifting. Thanks everyone for being here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
...Like A Rug
I'm slender, handsome, and I have all my Hair.
I went out and got hammered last night.
Both of those Statements are lies.
I stop at Stop Signs in isolated areas in the middle of the night. That's just how I'm wired. I don't lie, and I don't lie about my Sobriety. No point. Once you make The Big Plan, there's nothing to relapse 'back to'. Drinking again is a Null Set. Forever off the Table.
There's an old Saying about lying, and it applies to things like Extramarital Affairs. When you don't lie, you don't have to worry about keeping track of what you last told someone. I'm lazy. Not having to keep track of all that lying Guano makes Life simple, and more enjoyable.
One reason I don't lie...
I have zero.dot.zero interest in some Magic Helmet I could wear that would detect when others are lying about their Sobriety. Besides, the mere existence of such a Helmet would mean it could fall into the wrong Hands: attractive Women. They could then discern what I was thinking, and I would proceed to get slapped constantly.
I went out and got hammered last night.
Both of those Statements are lies.
I stop at Stop Signs in isolated areas in the middle of the night. That's just how I'm wired. I don't lie, and I don't lie about my Sobriety. No point. Once you make The Big Plan, there's nothing to relapse 'back to'. Drinking again is a Null Set. Forever off the Table.
There's an old Saying about lying, and it applies to things like Extramarital Affairs. When you don't lie, you don't have to worry about keeping track of what you last told someone. I'm lazy. Not having to keep track of all that lying Guano makes Life simple, and more enjoyable.
One reason I don't lie...
I have zero.dot.zero interest in some Magic Helmet I could wear that would detect when others are lying about their Sobriety. Besides, the mere existence of such a Helmet would mean it could fall into the wrong Hands: attractive Women. They could then discern what I was thinking, and I would proceed to get slapped constantly.
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