People Who Lie About Sobriety
 

I was curious if anyone else has lied about their sobriety date? For example, if one smoked a little pot one day or had 1 beer but did not tell anyone. I have trouble believing people who have had 10 or 15+ years of 100% continuous sobriety. It is very easy to lie here at SR also. Someone could be blackout drunk and post they've been sober for years. I think it is a key theme that alcoholics lie.

At the end of the day a person is only lying to themselves, we take what everyone says as true but we don't check it out.

I don't think it's a key theme that alcoholics lie. I don't lie. And what would be the purpose of such a lie? To look good to a lot of people on an anonymous website? I don't have any problem believing that 100% of sobriety is possible. I don't post about what I do anymore because I won't lie about what I'm doing. I'm in active addiction. When I decide not to be, I will post a sobriety date. To lie about it, would just hurt me. Me thinks........

I don't know of any compelling evidence to support that lying is a key theme.

Alcoholics who have a problem staying sober seem to have trouble with the truth. Those with long term sobriety, less so. In my experience, it's typically been fairly easy to tell them apart, at least in real life. On the internet, less so. But in the end, what's the point of the dishonesty? Typically it's just a method to justify the next drink.

I find that everything in the signature lines below help to keep me sober.

Liars lie.

If someone here or anywhere else smokes pot or drinks and says it doesn't impact their sobriety, I think the key theme is denial.

There was a time when I would not hesitate 2 seconds about lying about my sobriety. But then again, I was relapsing like clockwork.

Recovery works a lot like Karma. What goes around... comes around.

:abcj:

I sobered up for the first time in 1978 - 1985. The last time was 1992 to the present. That's the truth and I've no reason to lie to you or anyone. I've no doubt that many do, but I fail to see the reason for most. One example I am aware of in which a person lied about their sobriety I actually supported them.

They were approached by a parole officer in a twelve step meeting and was told that anything they said in a meeting that she was present in could and would be used against her in a court of law. When that person slipped and immediately got back into recovery, they didn't mention it at meetings and continued to celebrate their old sobriety date. Since they were facing life without parole for a violation, I completely supported their choice to do so. That particular slip was their last one to date and if their current actions and the visible changes in them are any indication, it just may be their last.

Why would you lie about anything here at SR? You are solely posting anon in the purpose of obtaining help and support for yourself. There is no ramifications of lying, what would the point be?

That being said, I don't use drugs or alcohol. I am just curious b/c my husband who is an alcoholic has lied alot in the past and there are times I just don't see the point.

I mean no disrespect, just curious I guess.

I am lost as to why anyone would lie about it here, and I don't lie. I am an alcoholic, but I am not a liar. The two are not always one. I think you may be projecting. If so, come clean, start over and move on. No one can live a lie.

Well I have sat next to people smelling of booze as they picked up a coin.
We are not unique in this program. People lie outside of AA as well take it with a grain of salt.
Btw I've earned all 5264 24 hours I've got.
All this requires is for me to be true to myself. I'm the one that has to look in a mirror at myself when I shave in the morning

this!

People do lie. They lie on here and to themselves. Example, there was a person in the chat room the other day and their profile information stated that they had been clean since 2010. Yet they were off their face on weed at asking everyone "why do I always do this to myself".

I view the chat room as a sanctuary. A place where I can go and know I will find support. I don't expect to go in there and find people trashed...I was more than a little p*ssed at this person for bringing their BS into the room.

So yeah, people lie on here and in the real world. It's the nature of the beast I guess.

Jeez, that must be hard not to believe people. I have a hard time comprehending HOW people stay sober that long, but I don't think I ever assume they are lying. It doesn't even occur to me. I can't imagine what it must be like trying to stay sober when you can't believe someone could achieve long term, continuous sobriety.

Maybe this is different, but I've been to AA meetings drunk before. I am grateful nobody got pissed at me and instead recognized where I was at and tried to help.

I have to agree with the fact that if a person lies on here it that is their denial. It only screws with the person that lied. Many people lie about sobriety, as I did throughout years. NOT NOW. I feel like joining SR for most is the last final step to becoming sober for real. If some feel the need to lie, that falls on them. The guilt will soon get them, and it should not change our thoughts on Sobriety.
So far I read honest stories of "relapse" and "start over", "screwed up again", "here I go again", etc. post topics up daily. But I guess who really knows.
Sorry you feel this way and hope you stay around.

My last slip, my therapist insisted I change my date. I was sad and mad. I worked so damn hard for those sober days and now they are all just gone ?!?! Because of one night of emotional turmoil ??

Sadly, yes.

Kinda.

At the end of the day, it's about being accountable. To yourself.

So I came clean, admitted to myself the error of my ways, licked my wounds, put my tail between my legs and chose to soldier on with yet, another, day one.

But it wasn't easy. Because I couldn't do it "my way".

Clearly , my way wasn't working.

I have to believe that people can live clean and sober for 15, 20, 40 years...or what was the point of me getting clean and sober. That has nothing to do if an individual did so, but I do believe it's possible and that it happens.

I also believe people lie, but that my own sobriety doesn't depend on whether or not they are telling the truth.

I used to use other people's words and behaviors as distractions from addressing my own. That ended up with me making excuses to do stuff that mostly hurt me. And from dealing with myself, I learned that no one could control me or make me say or do what I didn't want to...and I can't control anyone else. So, if they lie...I let it go UNLESS...they are someone I am in a convenanted relationship with.

If my BF (who is in recovery) lies about his sobriety, it directly affects me. If my child, who wants to use my car has been drinking...or ANYONE that wants to use my car has been drinking. If affects me...that sort of thing. But I can't do anything about the random man on the street or person on a forum, even if I think they are lying.

If it's a friend...then I can say "BS" and we can take it from there.

I know there are people here who would like to hear me say I am sober but I am not and I am not going to lie about it just so they can hear what they want for me , I need this place to be able to talk truthfully about what's going on with me.

I have seen a few posts where it is obvious the person is in denial and asking about justifying their own sobriety date. From what I have seen in AA and on here I think the topic of sobriety while smoking pot. My take is this is a recipe for disaster as the definition of sobriety is not being in an altered state from a substance.

I would ask why you are doubting and why this might bother you. Do you see your sobriety as a contest? If so, I don't think the motives are true or healthy.