NoJimmy

I personally am not against those threads existing, and it's not my place to say what does or does not help others to discuss. But I don't feel like that's something I want to focus on, I know exactly what's waiting for me if I get hammered again.
There is a fine line between discussing the past and romancing it. I can assure you I've got more than my fair share of stories, some funny, some sad, some tragic, not one do I wish to repeat. I'm not that guy anymore.

Sanantoniosober

I don't revel in stories of my past drinking. Sure there were some good times, but I'm not trying to relive them in any way shape or form. I've only shared the stupid things I've done while drunk. Those are the things that keep me sober. Knowing how much worse I was at the end and how much better I am now.

I see those stories not as wishing I could still drink, but as a reminder of the end result- pain, sickness, and misery.

digdug

I've gotten to a point in my recovery where those experiences just feel like a past life. I am not that person anymore. I don't want to be that person anymore. My focus is on moving forward and trying to become a better person tomorrow than I was today. I no longer relate to the person I was when I was drinking.

But these threads aren't a trigger for me. Nothing I haven't heard before in an AA meeting. The truth is, any thread on here, be it a relapse thread in the newcomers forum or war stories here can be a trigger. Everyone is different, so it's really impossible to make a generalization about triggers. So if you know these threads may bother you, just don't click.

I do remember way back in rehab, though. There were those people that spent all their time trading war stories. There were also those that spent time taking a long, hard look at their alcoholism and how to develop skills and tools to stay sober in the future. You don't have to guess who relapsed within a month or two of discharge. Just food for thought.

Jeni26

My thoughts are that war stories helped me in early recovery...I needed to hear from others who had acted in similarly embarrassing and reckless ways. I had some doubts as to whether I was really an alcoholic and by reading what others had done, it convinced me that I did indeed have a problem and also that if I did nothing, it could get much worse.

As my recovery has progressed, I naturally moved onto hearing from those who had found ways to move on from this lifestyle. I needed to know their secrets to sobriety. The war stories no longer served any purpose for me.

HOWEVER...what disturbs me sometimes is the WAY they are written..adding humour and laughing at what isn't funny by any stretch of the imagination just reminds me of a group of drunks hanging out at a bar. I used to do that with my old drinking crowd..hey do you remember when I (insert awful tale)...cue drunken gusts of laughter... That, to me, serves no purpose at all. I had already spent a lifetime doing that.

So, I guess sharing stories seems fine to me, but if it encourages the glorification of what we are trying to move away from, then it can be potentially damaging. I think.

quitter13

I understand and respect both sides of the argument. Personally, I feel that if I have to avoid my past and other people's stories to remain sober than that is my problem. I can't go around with my head in the ground pretending that nobody else is out there drinking. But I won't participate out of respect

LadyinBC

I really think it depends on where a person is in recovery. When you start out, , you think you are the only one who has these awful stories and when you read about others, you realize, hey I'm not the only one.

I've never really thought about these kinds of threads being counter productive to be honest. I know for me reading these stories keeps me in check and reminds me where I don't want to be. And sometimes that can be a good thing because I definitely don't want to go back. And sometimes it can be very easy to forget where you came from and I know for me I can never forget that.

FoolTurnedWise

Exactly. For those of us who are new to sobriety those stories actually help to stay sober (otherwise I start thinking "well, maybe it was a good time..."). Because those stories emphasis how ridiculous an alcoholic is. And that provides a strong motive to stay sober. Nothing to do with "showing off" -->why would someone be proud of their alcoholic behavior? That doesn't make sense.

hayley86

I don't read or respond to these kind of threads because i don't find them useful or amusing. I prefer to keep moving forward and focus on the here and now. If these threads help other people though then that's good. I just don't open them.

PurpleKnight

It's a tough one this topic!!

I think the paramount consideration should be members, potentially new to the Forum reading and being drawn into a sense of nostalgia or bravado reminiscing about past times that are perceived to be the "good ol days" or "happy times", that line of thinking could cause a relapse if dwelled upon too much, as there is also a lot of threads started with the word "boredom" in them so this is also a big concern for many newcomers, how to have a social life without alcohol, and the temptation may be enough to tip the scale towards old ways.

However I'd balance that up with the benefits some may draw from these particular threads, I personally always try to contribute to most threads (as you can see, an essay for this one ), and I know that typing some past events from my own experiences, just the physical typing and putting it into words, helps me to have a real perspective on where I've come from since last November, and gain a stronger resolve to never go back to that place. Though that might not work for everyone.

I started my post with the paramount consideration, new members and their recovery, if that is compromised in any way then that is the answer to the question!!

Oldselfagain

Frankly speaking no one is being forced to read threads that they don't want to. I have no problem with people posting war stories. Some people says it helps them and others not. If someone finds it unhelpful then they should simply stay away from the thread.

oOCaptainCrazy

In a way i kinda agree... I only talk about my past troubles with people i can trust, people i have known for a very long time and speak to on a daily basis.

Also laughter can be a guise subconsciously or not...

jat14

I agree with you Dee. I don't think much of these types of threads. I have to say that I was guilty of getting off on telling my drunk log escapades but now not so much. They are counter/productive.. It was kinda like hey I can top your story.. and so on and so forth. Nothing wrong with acknowledging where you came from but to glorify it is something all together different.. My relapse prevention counselor used to tell me that you can briefly glance back at the past every now and then to remember how far you've come, but not to stare at it for too long.

caboblanco

There was a book written about 10 years ago i think..it was called..A Million Little Pieces..this was a memoir of a guys drinking a drugging career. I read it back then and I though it was a good book. Maybe this is what the term "drunkalouge" means. I remember hearing the term" memoirs" about these type of writings and speeches but not drunkalouges...There are a lot of books

like this out there that sell a lot of copies to addicts and non addcits. After the above mention book was written it was publicized that the author made up most of it as there was an investigation..this came after he appeared on

Oprah..she claimed she never been wronged so bad in her life..lol.. what a circus..anyway he had to go back on that show and apologize or whatever in an attempt not to lose all his money or something...i don't know if anybody remembers that

Hollyanne

I have been to hundreds of AA meetings and on SR for a couple of years.
If I had gone to the "Good, serious, Step, Recovery" mtgs at the beginning, I don't know that I would have stayed.
I had a big red head on me and felt like I was hit by a Mack truck.
I just needed to hear, "Don't drink, and go to meetings", "Keep coming back"....
That is all I was able for at that time.
Once I had dried out, I had to move to the next stage which is the change and improvement part.
I have heard people say in mtgs and here in this thread, that they needed to hear those war stories at the beginning.
Also, people who attend serious program mtgs will admit to still hitting the drunkalogue mtgs to see what they don't want to return to. We don't want to be 20 yrs sober still going on about the "Yella from alcohol, puking up blood, while fighting with me dog" stories.
Like here, at the beginning, we are full of shame and it is comforting to identify.
Young guys I know were stunned and intrigued to hear a grown guy in a nice jacket talk about living rough and peeing their pants.
That got them back to the next mtg.
My long-winded thoughts.
I know when I see those threads, I do a little eye-roll and know it is a newcomer, but I know they are here and that is a good start.
I wouldn't tut-tut them. Leave them talk.
I read one yesterday about the little girl leaving the note, that is actually very very sad, but he is here, he is talking, he is starting his journey.
Welcome.

LadyBlue0527

I love these two particular pieces of Hollyanne's post:

I hadn't read the threads so I went through them. If people were yukking it up over what they did I might feel differently. To me it appears to be exactly what Hollyanne said, a newcomer who is identifying with everyone about what finally led them here. Although I focus on the here and now and the goal, I hold my war stories near and dear to my heart. Without them I would have never made it here and where I am today. The cause of my sobriety is the sum total of those situations.

To tell you the truth, when I was a newcomer to this board the relapse threads were far more of a trigger to me than people sharing why they made the decision to get sober. It's all in the wording. Starting a thread questioning what the worst thing people have done when they were drinking is no more than really asking what led people to choose sobriety.

I do get the fact that it's important to focus on recovery. I think it all depends on the intent of the person who starts the thread. So far I haven't seen anyone who started one who wasn't thankful that they aren't in that situation anymore. That's what's important.

cardoon

To me is about the tone. If I don't like the tone I don't read. I pick what I need at the moment.

bigsombrero

My small group in my treatment center started to go down that path. It happened quickly and it was almost a game of "one-upmanship". We were immediately warned that glorifying our drinking/using days was discouraged. This was a hard rule in the group and was a recommendation from seasoned professionals in the recovery industry. And it didn't take long to figure out why.

Some people can't get over the Good Old Days, and the straight fact is that a lot of us aren't going to make it. A lot of alcoholics like to think of themselves as "living on the edge" and sometimes that draw provokes some feelings of nostalgia. Some people get the wrong kind of "rush" when discussing war stories. And all it takes is one drink.

Look at it this way: if an artist has stopped painting for years, and then goes to a museum, they might be inspired to pick up the brush again. The problem with alcoholics is that a bottle of beer is our paintbrush, and instead of creating works of art...well, we create havoc and chaos.

It's a completely natural thing for newcomers to discuss such things - and I see no reason to "ban" discussions on the topic. Heck maybe it's a part of the process, and everyone here on SR is trying to get sober in their own way. There is also nothing wrong with discouraging this type of discussion, though.

jdooner

Remember it in the press and had the same reaction - what a circus. Its the same reaction I have to most of Oprah's retractions. I had no idea it was about this though - I might buy the book and read it now.

BTW - sorry to call you out, I thought I learned of the term from you...just shows how foggy my memory has been of late, sorry my bad.

Dee74

just to make it clear noones banning anything

I just wanted to see what other peoples opinions were.

we're a few pages in and it seems the majority of folks see no problem - I'm still not convinced...but I'll take that on now as my problem

thanks for the responses so far

D

LDT

My feelings run along the lines of Jeni26's. In early sobriety I might have been comforted by the fact that there were others that did the same kinds of stupid things I did. ( comforted?). But being alcoholic is certainly no laughing matter. I am not amused by the " Good Old Days" of my former life. Shame runs deep. ..... I think newcomers probably need to hear the war stories, though....UN-glorified.