War Stories
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Originally Posted by caboblanco 
I don't think there is anything wrong with being able to laugh about crap that happened in the past.. whether it be from drinking or something else. if i get to the point that I can laugh about it..it doesn't haunt me anymore.. I don't
think it compromises my sobriety..I don't have to take everything so seriously..I would just be way too stressed out if i did..i can't laugh about everything negative in my past yet..but i hope someday i can.. thats.just the way i see things
think it compromises my sobriety..I don't have to take everything so seriously..I would just be way too stressed out if i did..i can't laugh about everything negative in my past yet..but i hope someday i can.. thats.just the way i see things
I have shared with the best of them so I have been guilty. I have also laughed too (like the allergy post about breaking out in handcuffs). I avoid the threads now or try too, depending upon my mood.
I think you have posted about how you can't stand the AA drunkalogs - is this not the same thing though - just virtual Cabo?
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,905
I guess it's possible, in early sobriety, these types of posts could be helpful. But, my personal thoughts are that after a while, we don't need them; and like anything else we outgrow, we have no use for them.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 332
Originally Posted by alphaomega
For me it is a frightening and sobering reminder of who I become when I drink.
It's an admission of sorts, an attempt at true confessions as for me, I'm a Shame Bot who carries it for far too long. And I feel like when I put it out there, I no longer have to be as sick as my secrets.
It's deeply healing for me.
And it ain't funny.
It's an admission of sorts, an attempt at true confessions as for me, I'm a Shame Bot who carries it for far too long. And I feel like when I put it out there, I no longer have to be as sick as my secrets.
It's deeply healing for me.
And it ain't funny.
I don't plan on dwelling on the stupid things I've done or wallow in them, but I do need to see myself clearly and honestly, and sometimes the "war stories" help me to see that. They also show me what the future might be if I don't stop now...
My two cents.
June
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 332
Originally Posted by suki44883
I guess it's possible, in early sobriety, these types of posts could be helpful. But, my personal thoughts are that after a while, we don't need them; and like anything else we outgrow, we have no use for them.
June
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,949
Originally Posted by jdooner
We are on a Forum with free speech, so I don't have a problem. I do think focusing on negative events is somewhat counterproductive to moving forward - just my experience. I also think us alcoholics and addicts are sensitive people so if the point is to laugh at other's misery I am not so sure how this is productive too.
I have shared with the best of them so I have been guilty. I have also laughed too (like the allergy post about breaking out in handcuffs). I avoid the threads now or try too, depending upon my mood.
I think you have posted about how you can't stand the AA drunkalougs - is this not the same thing though - just virtual Cabo?
I have shared with the best of them so I have been guilty. I have also laughed too (like the allergy post about breaking out in handcuffs). I avoid the threads now or try too, depending upon my mood.
I think you have posted about how you can't stand the AA drunkalougs - is this not the same thing though - just virtual Cabo?
I don't really know what the term mans to tell you the truth..I thought it just meant somebody who tells stories over during active and recovery in alcoholism that are not authentic or heartfelt but are in a way bragging..or using the guise of humiilty to brag..not just telling a short story with someone
either way i can take them or leave..but im not offended by them...but like i said i will avoid them now
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Have to admit I was waiting for Dee or another moderator to call out those War Story threads and honestly, I felt a little guilty reading them and posting in them. But, I asked myself why I was drawn to them and why I felt guilty posting in them. I found it very cathartic to finally "say" it out loud. Yeah, I may have just typed it out but it felt good to get it out, something I would have never done in a meeting or communicate to another person face to face (at least not yet anyway) for fear of being judged. Also, it made me feel less insane and more connected to some folks on here.
But, I understand why these threads can be very counter productive.
But, I understand why these threads can be very counter productive.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
My purpose in this thread was/is to try and get a sense of where members are at.
Yes we believe in free speech here - and I do think genuine catharsis can be beneficial - but if things are triggering new members, or in someway harmful to them, we need to look at that as a community I think?
so far the attitudes seem split 50/50 along the lines of those new to recovery and those with a few years up.
D
Yes we believe in free speech here - and I do think genuine catharsis can be beneficial - but if things are triggering new members, or in someway harmful to them, we need to look at that as a community I think?
so far the attitudes seem split 50/50 along the lines of those new to recovery and those with a few years up.
D
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
The absolute last thing I want to do when I read those stories is emulate them. In any manner.
I shudder at them. But I also relate to them. On a cellular level that gives me both peace because I'm finally understood and out of the shame, and fear because one drink would take me right back.
But I respect you literally more than most people I know.
So whatever you decide I'm with you.
I shudder at them. But I also relate to them. On a cellular level that gives me both peace because I'm finally understood and out of the shame, and fear because one drink would take me right back.
But I respect you literally more than most people I know.
So whatever you decide I'm with you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
For me, those threads humble me and keep me scared straight. It always seems like it is those with a little more sobriety under their belt who have been on this forum for some time that seem to be disturbed by them. I've seen posts in those threads that seem full of bravado, but I've also seen posts from those who don't like those threads that seem judgmental.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
I don't like to read them. Reading them, sometimes I start to think kind of competitively, like "can I top that?" and I get bad ideas. Probably I should think they're funny, but I'm too raw for that. I think if I found myself reading war story threads, that would indicate a problem.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Out in the Sticks
Posts: 1,788
I do read them , for me it serves as a place I never want to go back to .
It's real funny though , all our friends and family remember the things we did. .
It's not so humorous when family members tell us of the things we did .
I guess I'm split on the war stories too .
It's real funny though , all our friends and family remember the things we did. .
It's not so humorous when family members tell us of the things we did .
I guess I'm split on the war stories too .
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
You never know.
Sometimes an innocent thread degrades into war stories, and sometimes war stories can be very therapeutic. In general, I think a thread dedicated to war stories is inappropriate in the "Newcomers to Recovery" section, since they are less about newcomers and recovery and more about old-timers behaving badly. But sharing experiences is an essential part of this forum, and maybe war stories are what a particular newcomer needs. So, as I said, you never know.
But Deckard just brought up an important point--are we endangering freedom of speech (that is, inviting a search warrant) if there is too much discussion of illegal activity?
Sometimes an innocent thread degrades into war stories, and sometimes war stories can be very therapeutic. In general, I think a thread dedicated to war stories is inappropriate in the "Newcomers to Recovery" section, since they are less about newcomers and recovery and more about old-timers behaving badly. But sharing experiences is an essential part of this forum, and maybe war stories are what a particular newcomer needs. So, as I said, you never know.
But Deckard just brought up an important point--are we endangering freedom of speech (that is, inviting a search warrant) if there is too much discussion of illegal activity?
Last edited by Coldfusion; 01-16-2014 at 09:22 PM. Reason: addition
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