Dee74

I see a few 'war stories' threads lately - threads about when we drank we did this etc etc.

I gotta say it disturbs me.

I understand that people want to laugh, and also that they might want to divest themselves of baggage, but I wonder...how much of those posts are a vicarious thrill?

I know it's important to acknowledge where we've been, but if we stay resolutely in the past, does that do us any good?

D

caboblanco

I think some people take comfort in knowing that people have done the same or worse then them and are now better...besides that I don't see a point other than having a good laugh

Carlotta

I so agree with you Dee.

silentrun

Someone at work was talking about a time 8 years ago we had all gone out drinking and had a good time. I swear listening to that is what started me thinking about doing it again.

suki44883

I agree with Dee. Just coming here each day and reading the stories of those who are just starting their journey is enough to remind me of where I never want to be again. There's nothing humorous about the life I had before I found recovery.

foolsgold66

I don't really get it either, but to each his own.

Fandy

I don't participate in those types of threads or even read them, they don't help me in any way....I can imagine they might be a type of trigger to someone on the fence or newly sober.
if I want to remember all the dumb, embarrassing behavior I exhibited, I certainly dont want to post it on a public forum.
thanks Dee for bringing it up, it bothers me at times too.

EndGameNYC

We can't very well help with what people did in the past, but we can help people who are struggling in the present.

There are enough "war stories" each time someone who relapses starts a new thread.

RobbyRobot

Yeah, it disturbs me as well. It's not like there wasn't some humorous times back when, its when it becomes obviously a war story being given is when my eyes glass over and I'm reminded that somewhere someplace somebody just died from abusive drinking and drugging and they didn't die laughing. Its a sobering experience knowing that we all don't make it out, and so, its very uneasy for me to become okay with such threads.

caboblanco

they don't really bother me..but if anybody thinks they can compromise somebodies sobriety which obviously they do then I won't be commenting on any of those threads any more.

I honestly think the people that start them want to feel like they aren't the only ones or the worst ones..and thats all. They aren't trying to brag about how much of a rebel they were or whatnot

Grungehead

It's healthy to remember the past, but not to live in it. Yes I did some things while drunk that may seem "funny" in retrospect, but I don't recall them being funny at the time. I see most of the crazy things I did while drunk sad and pitiful, not funny. If I remember the events in the context in which they really happened I was usually embarrassed and ashamed about them afterwards.

RobbyRobot

I commend you choosing for no longer being in the parade, but I respectively disagree that some of those posts are not about raw bravado and rebellion.

Lenina

I suppose there is a certain value in that maybe someone who is feeling hopeless, like they are worse drunk ever and has no way to put up and out might read some horror story and think, Wow that one managed to get sober and I haven't fallen that far yet. There must be hope for me.

I don't like those stories now that I'm sober but when I was struggling, they did help me know I could recover.

Love from Lenina

Dan Dare

I agree with that. Rehashing some of my past strengthens my resolve.
It's a bit like "been there, done that, time to move on to new beginnings".

I have many regrets that I'll carry with me for the rest of my life. Keeping them in memory helps me want to make amends, somehow.
Of course, we do not have to post them here if that is what's decided....

caboblanco

when i was earlier on in sobriety I did take comfort from other peoples embarrassing stuff.. i don't know if that's right or healthy. It just made me not beat myself up as much. well i'm not a psychology major..but when i

went to meetings this happened a lot too..these type of stories...somehow in a meeting setting they seem more ok.to people..i don't know..maybe it's a newcomer thing or a young person thing

foolsgold66

The great thing about here is I don't even have to open the thread.

jdooner

I think its natural early on. The threads seem to attract newcomers. I find its appealing to people trying to figure out "if" they are an alcoholic and rationalize quitting - I did this and it was horrific so this is why I have to stop….

I think its actually counterproductive to recovery though and it naturally is unappealing as we build more time and for those serious about improving themselves.

Carlotta

This is true and same thing with real time meetings, some people obviously get some help from those otherwise there would not be so many drunkologue oriented meetings but i avoid those because I don't feel they contribute to my recovery.
I am also especially sensitive as I just had to go no contact with my best friend of almost a decade because he chose to kill himself with alcohol and his house has become a drug place and I have to keep my own sanity. So right now, i kind of fail to see any humor in alcoholism and war stories since I basically pulled the plug on a friendship so I would not have to witness that.

alphaomega

For me it is a frightening and sobering reminder of who I become when I drink.

It's an admission of sorts, an attempt at true confessions as for me, I'm a Shame Bot who carries it for far too long. And I feel like when I put it out there, I no longer have to be as sick as my secrets.

It's deeply healing for me.

And it ain't funny.

caboblanco

I don't think there is anything wrong with being able to laugh about crap that happened in the past.. whether it be from drinking or something else. if i get to the point that I can laugh about it..it doesn't haunt me anymore.. I don't

think it compromises my sobriety..I don't have to take everything so seriously..I would just be way too stressed out if i did..i can't laugh about everything negative in my past yet..but i hope someday i can.. thats.just the way i see things