savexourxship

Paddy, that logic is going to significantly shorten your life span. I know it seems like it's easier to just keep drinking, and wait for some miracle to happen and all will be well. All you have to do at this point is throw in the towel and surrender, and your life will instantly begin to improve in many ways. Everyone here has shown you the door, but it's your sole responsibility to walk through it.

Hope you get well soon friend

-Save

Paddyb

I have a question, if your drinking up to 15-18 pints a day, why do you pee about 4-6 pints, i know its a med question, but was just wondering where its going???

heath480

paddy i know no words from me can stop you drinking.You have to stop it though,painful to read your posts.

Do what sapling suggests and let go of the end of the towel.

So many of us on here want to see you get better,this is doable.

Paddyb

I am cutting down and have the opp with services on the 29th, but was just wondering why and where it is with the intake,and no out take on the beer???? i am eating little bits etc and changing sleeping pattens, i would of gone to bed at 8pm and been up at say 1am, so hope to sleep to the morning as 11.15pm

tjhook

Paddyb, I just read this entire thread and wow does my heart hurt for you......and BELIEVE me, I can relate. I have struggled with almost every damn substance known to man over the past 10-15 years...and alcohol was what landed me in rehab. I was in the same shape you are in....couldn't eat, malnurished, dehydrated....and living off of vodka and jagermeister (vodka mixed w/gatorade and shots of jager on the side). The amount I was drinking was insane, but I physically couldn't stop....it was pure hell. I went from 220 pounds of solid body to 175 when I entered rehab. I peed for the nurse and the color shocked her.....orange, she told me that meant my kidneys were failing, and much longer I would have been a dead man. They put me on 3 different meds during detox (5 days), which took the edge off....it wasn't easy but I certainly found out I wasn't alone.

After 28 days I returned home broke, but mentally happy....and thankful that my best friend intervened and forced me to get the help. Well, of all things.....I relapsed, but not on booze......ambien. The relaxation it gave me hooked me fast, and for a few months I was taking INSANE amounts (doctor shopping). I quit that cold turkey....and 12 hrs later had a grand mall seizure while driving..as I was detoxing from it so bad. Luckily nobody got hurt except me, but it brings me to an important point.....detoxing from booze or benzo's can be deadly.....please do whatever you can to get medically detoxed.

Life can suck, I have an appointment with a specialist to check on a growth in my mouth after my dentist saw me (long time tobacco dipper)....and told me surgery is required. I lost my job, condo about to be foreclosed on, and do to my seizure I have no drivers license right now. To top it off my best friend is in a possible life threatening illness.

BUT....I ain't picking a bottle up whether it be pills or booze. I guess what I am saying is I feel your pain, I truly do.....but please, please do this the right way.

Sorry for the long post

instant

Paddy. My prayers are with you.

johnny2times

paddy mate...we served in the same army, i know we have done the same training, cast your mind back to when you were with RRF's, remember the mental robustness, strength and pride you developed back then? well... its still there mucka!! you've just forgot about it cos your mullered all the time, tap back into that strength mate, then put ya drink down-pick yaself up and march your @ss down to the detox! or i'll come march ya down there myself, with the provo n RP staff!!! lol

get it done paddy, it pains me deeply to see a fellow veteran struggling like you are!

Paddyb

We are the boys from RRF, YEAH I WAS SWITCHED ON BACK THEN, every where i ask about detox is just do at home and take the meds, seem in the UK its hard to get in to a center and have Medical staff looking after you. I have phone the AA help line to ask if Hospital will take me in and detox me and they say Prob not?? any advise on this 1?

johnny2times

whereabouts are you again? theres a detox local to me here in brighton (and a treatment centre) the manager is a good friend of mine (ex PWRR) i could get ya in there quick smart mate

also, have you contacted the british legion? they can help with alsorts

Can we help? Welfare for the serving and ex-Service community - The Royal British Legion.

Paddyb

I am over in Basildon Essex, near southend, and do they cost money as that is on the slim side at the Mo.

johnny2times

its free mate, nhs funded, they put you on sickness benefit for the whole time your there through detox/treatment...the housing/sickness benefits pay for it all (ive been through there myself)

ring the british legion mate, tell them your situation , they WILL help you with everything, they'll send a support officer to visit you for an initial assesment of needs then they'll get the ball rolling straight away and get you in a detox

desertsong

Paddy, please listen to Johnny. You deserve a better life than this, my friend. Make today the day. Please.

wellwisher

PaddyB....a life ring is swinging by.....grab it! Could be a start in the right direction...

Nothing ventured; nothing gained.


johnny2times.....

Zee

Go for it Paddy!!!!

johnny2times

have you called the legion yet mate? there the ones who saved me in the beginning ya know, i went off the rails bigtime for 4 years solid when i left the corps, infact if it wasn't for them i'd probably be dead or in prison now, you should atleast make contact with them, they'll do all the leg work for you, all you have to do is pick up the phone, ya know..we're quite lucky to have the legion, there support is only available to ex servicemen so your actually in a much better position than most people here.. and i betya most of our american and canadian friends on here would have jumped at this opportunity!

Ive shown you the way paddy, its upto you wether you take it or not, so...time to ask yourself the big question...have you had enough?! i think everyone here will agree with me when i say you have most definetly had enough! throw the towel in mate...and pick up that phone...get it done!

i'll be thinkin of ya pal and hoping you make that choice

REgards ....2times

DoinThis

Paddy your scared to stop because of withdrawls....that's what the meds are for, to stop the withdrawls! But they won't kill u like alcohol will. This is your way out! Fluid retention is caused by liver and kidney failure. Stop drinking and u can heal.

InsertNameHere

I can't speak for the British way of doing things specifically but I can speak from a military perspective from the states. Being a vet myself if you need help they will get to you paddy, no embaresment, no harassment, nothing but understanding and the help you need. Listen to Johnny and get yourself some help paddy. Possibly being amongst others with similar military backgrounds can help, I know it is always easier to talk to and feel a sense of comraderie with people that have been through similar situations that you have. I am a US Marine and I know that whenever I am with "my own kind" so to speak I always feel comfortable, and am able to be myself more. But most importantly make the call paddy, I am sure your brothers there at the legion will understand and will help you out in more ways then you realize. Semper Fi brother, get yourself some help.

Berndog

Paddyb You say "Blackout the outside world". I don't know you, but I'd say you're trying to blackout yourself. I believe it's you that you are trying to escape from and the only way to do that (in my opinion) is to get some help and quit drinking! Its your drinking that you want to run from, not the outside world. You just don't know it yet. Best of luck to you my friend, it seems like you've been a member long enough that you probably know this. I wish the best to you.

Bazzal

First I totall understand what ur going through. Perhaps my story can make you think twice before carrying on. Ive binged for years but this one has finally got me spooked to ***.

Was drinking like litre a day, by the end of 5 days had about 2 full black bags of strongest beer, then cant get anything else over my throat so have to go cold turkey not even by my choice.

Anxiety - ready fo heart attack, pass out, loose control all the usual but listen to this, i couldnt even get to the bathroom without palputations that would scare the **** out of you, sweats like i have been in a pool, so i lay down cant even puke almost relax then the good stuff started.

I notice writing on the wall, very subtle thinking it was notes my folks had put down years ago and painted over, thought nothing of it, later, wait theres writing on the carpet, strange but through nothing of it, then thought look out onto the hallwat theres writing all over the carpet but like engrained wrting so only visible, no thinking weird so back to bed. sitting there and *** look at my right thigh, verly slight scratrch like note written on my leg cant quite make out what it say but try to read it, spooky but thought the missus was taken the **** whilst i had been sleeping. well *** looks at my right thigh marking on it, **** now this is weird, totally freaked out as thought some demon or alien has scribbled **** like: eveil, kill and useles all over my body so bolt down stairs out side thinking im possessed. get outside in no more than my undies writing on the floor, the grass, garage, anywhere i focus writing with messages. now i look at my arms messages appear only as i look, divert to the other arm, they appear and scroll as i look, my hair even stands on end in the shape of the forms, i feel a presence, now im fuked! so i look at the sky clouds start making the same wewird markings and scrollings all diifferent places i look, now im either divine or whatever ? so i see the little orb thats making these clouds change form back and forth so fast, now it decided to suddenly apear close to me then dissapear spooking me. worst it then goes inside me i feel my whole body freeze i feel the energy, i ask it to leave, i dont want to be abducted or have this inside me. I mean SO SO SO real, so run out to the street stop this guy can you see this mate or am i going nuts, No sir theres nothing there ??? well thats it im nuts. So Ambulance comes, off to hospital and they fill me full of meds to stop me seeing this **** all over my body and anywhwere else i looked. 4 days in there sedated.

Now the moral is anyone with the DT's can have these strange personalised hullucinations and that for me is the end to my drinking career in one of the weirdest moments of my life. I hope perhaps this can stop or help someone as the doctors told me you could have died. DTs as we know are dangerous but when entoxicated we dont always appreciate how much. I certainly have had DT's when i was so shaky i couldnt walk properly, brush my teeth, no coordination, but never thought it could take over your mind so much.

This can happen to us all. I aint preeching only giving an account of a frielndly 34 yr old binge drinker. This can kill, can do so to anyone even if they havent had a super great amount.

So now its get back to living not hiding!

Good luck to all, and good luck to me and i hope i have the strengh to continue. Oh yes and also effects on our liver although show up ok on screens dont always tell the whole story, the poison pickles us! Throughout

Genuine respect and best wishes to all - lets kick this

Sapling

I didn't get quite that far...But I felt my sanity slipping...Nice share....Take a good look at it Paddy.