Paddyb

Kelly time

sugarbear1

PaddyB, will you try something right now? maybe take a walk to the curtains and open them up. then sit down and take a look around you. sit quietly, close your eyes and say a prayer, if you believe, just do it.....

when you open your eyes, you will see you haven't been living, just existing. all of the people here are rooting for you to take the action to stop, then stay stopped.....the dust is on everything, it may be a mess.....I know. I have been exactly where you are.

Don't get more depressed over what you see. this is where you will be until you choose to change something.....

Okay, ya got me, is it night time there? Oh, try it tomorrow........

Prayers sent your way, PaddyB. You CAN do this!! You can change, it takes a little time, but you can do this

Love, hugs, and peace to you,

Paddyb

Made the call to the local drug and Alcohol center and first time they can see me is the 29th March, WTF, 20 DAYS AWAY. will a Hospital detox me as cant go on like this???

Hevyn

Hi Paddy. Everyone's made good suggestions. I just want to send you some love and encouragement.

I was just like you. Isolated from everyone - dreaded the sound of the phone or a knock on the door. All I was worried about was my next drink. I was miserably unhappy, but couldn't see a way out. Yet there was a tiny spark of life left in me - I wasn't ready to give up on finding myself again. I knew I was in there, somewhere. You aren't ready to give up on life, or you wouldn't keep coming back here. You can leave these sad days behind and have a new beginning. I drank all my life, but now I'm free. You can be too. Never give up - we are here to listen and help.

sugarbear1

12 step call, they will take you to detox and hang with you, hopefully. Someone needs to be available, so call or call your ambulance to get to the hospital. I don't know Essex medical help...

sugarbear1

Sapling said it, the 12 step is alcoholics helping other alcoholics. Even if they can just get you to a meeting and talk to you about what is going on, you can then decide what action you want to take next.

Paddy, are you ready to stay stopped? Need to just get to a meeting? Make a call and ask for help.

Paddyb

Here in the Uk, people cant just come round and take you to a detox center, its cost money or funding, i am sh.t scared to stop drinking, i feel ill if i dont drink WTF, sorry if i keep going on and on

BackToSquareOne

Paddy, even the seeming never ending benders have to end somehow or another. How are you going to end this one? Make a list of your options and pick one, what else can you do? Some AA people to talk to might be a really good idea. You can at the very least try to figure out what your next move is.

stillsleeping

Hi Paddy, I've been dropping in and out of your thread for a day or so without realising you were a Brit (pillock - it says essex right there in the box...) - sorry.

Have just gone onto google to look into detox on the NHS - check these out (you may have to copy and paste into your bar, don't know if the links will work here...)


Alcohol Misuse - Treatment - NHS Choices

Alcohol Detoxification | Health | Patient UK

The first one obviously has the most info, but the second is interesting too. The first step would definitely be your GP - insist on a home call-out. Or call NHS Direct 0845 4647 - they'll be able to give you more information.

You got to get out of this, dude. Make the call. You can always put the phone down, right?

Thinking about you,

Still

Tommyh

Paddy
it costs money to get help and it costs money to drink yourself to death.
you have to go out to get booze,now get your butt out there and get to one of those places or call AA and ask for some guys to come over,if I could I would come see you
you do not have to be stone cold sober to suit up and show up...you know all of this,you are not a new guy

quit with the excuses
it is about you living or you dying dangit

naive

hi paddy-

i'm in the UK also. i think you need to change your doctor. you can request a different one. it is not safe for you to detox without supervision. i hope you understand that.

there is also a chance that if you call your sister, tell her you want her help, you have made the decision to quit drinking and after you detox, you are going to throw yourself whole-heartedly into AA, service and all....she might help you.

why don't you call a taxi and go to the A&E. tell them the truth, that you have been drinking for a month with little to no food, and throwing up numerous times a day. tell them that you want to be admitted.

if they do like the last time and put you in a gown and ask you to wait an hour, then wait an hour. do not leave the hospital this time.

i'm normally over at friends and family of alcoholics, and those are the magic words we wait for are: "i have hit my rock bottom. i am willing to do anything and everything necessary to get healthy again". tell your sister that. maybe she will help you.

please go. you can call your sister and the taxi right now and go to the A&E.

we care about you. stand up and take your life back. it is possible. you can do this.

BullDog777

yeah, i have. 2 years and some change ago, and I was making videos of myself apologizing to my 3 year old daughter that i was too sick to beat this disease. that this was not her fault and that i was just too far gone.

i was drinking a half gallon of vodka or whiskey a day and enough benzos and painkillers to make the average person full. Yet all this bull$hit i was putting my family through was a choice i made. I was gonna make my daughter fatherless. she would have self esteem issues and issues with abandonment. i was going to be dead. she would have no father, my wife would be a widow and both of these things were going to be my fault. i would make my parents lose their son, my friends would be devestated. i would hurt countless lives.

Why? because i refused to man up and live.

it's that simple when you get down to it. i was a slave to this obsession and it was killing me.

i went cold turkey after 20 years of doing this. i white-knuckled 30 days of seizures, stroke level blood pressure, hallucinations, vomiting, insomnia, the list went on and on.

What got me through it was a relentless will to die on my feet than have to live another day on my knees to this s#it.

I lived. i dropped 60 pounds in the proccess of the detox, but i lived.

God saved my life and i made it.

There are ways for you to detox. you can go to the hospital and they will detox you medically. Call an immediate care center and ask if they treat alcohol withdrawal. you know, the kinda that are around that treat the common cold or broken bones or sprains? they can precribe you the necessary medication. You can taper off. DO SOMETHING.

There are people out there dying of cancer and horrible diseases that have no choice. YOU DO.

DO SOMETHING.

doing the same thing and expecting different results is the defination of insanity. you have to change. simple as that.

if you doubt how far i went down...spend the afternoon reading all 600+ posts i've made. i've been to hell and back. if i can make it so can you. but you gotta stop talking about it and do something pro-active to get well or you're just wasting more time.

MrDavid

I know that feeling Paddy all too well. Alcohol drains us of any viable resource worth living for. So take care of yourself now before it gets worse. I suggest a detox first, followed up by a long term rehab -if it's not already too late. If you're reading this than all is well, but if not I'll pray that you do. Alcohol is not the solution we were hoping for, now was it? So start the sobering up process instead and enjoy life like the rest of us. I hope that you do, starting today.

~God Bless~

Paddyb

Up date, i now know that the only way to stop is to want to, and now nearly 60 days on the clock of drinking, come to the answer that all the help in the world can help, but i need to want to stop, dam roll the clock back to 2011

hypochondriac

Paddy, have you tried phoning drinkline? (0800 917 8282). This is a long thread to be drinking through and although the support on SR is really fantastic maybe it's a little too abstract. Maybe talking to a real person will help you make that first step. They can offer practical advice too. Please phone them x

THEOjibway

I really hope you do find help with this. it sounds like you want help really bad but afraid to. Thats why everyone is saying call for medical help you can't detox alone at this point. It sounds very scary and reminds me so much what I went through 7 months ago. I really hope you get help because life does get better once you abstain from alcohol. You may really want to consider stopping if your body is not liking the alcohol so much anymore just imagine what your liver must be suffering because it can only take so much. good luck!

Paddyb

Got some Vitamin B strong compound and thiamine, how do these help???

PB

BullDog777

essentially, they help keep your kidneys functioning. when you're low on both of those vitamins your tubes can get blocked and that means disaster.

why don't you go to the hospital? you keep ignoring advise and are looking for half measures. you can't tell me that there are no available resources. why do you keep ignoring the obvious?

Paddyb

because i am sceard!!!!!!!!

BullDog777

you think you're scared now? ....this is a walk in the park compared to what it's going to be like if you keep this up.

The best thing you can do for yourself is do the exact the opposite of what your brain is telling you to do. Right now, the disease is trying to kill you.

you think.."i'm too scared to go to the hopsital?!" Go to the hospital.

Seriously.... this is your life ...everything you want in this world lives on the other side of fear. these people will help as long as you are willing to help yourself. i doubt they will be much more sympathetic to someone who deceides to live on their knees in fear, unwilling to change. just sayin'...