stepping

Hey girl so glad to hear all is well with you still

i have seen parts of rain in my heart..actually last weekend.... it is on my to do list to watch it all. maybe this weekend since i have no plans and am also tight on money. i have been shopping to keep myself occupied but quickly realized that will need to stop lol.

i am doing well. just trucking right along. now that i am in my new home i can finally relax and feel normal it feels great and helps my mood tremendously!

i am reading a book that i got a while back but could never get too into until now but it is called Drinking: A Love Story I cant put it down if ya need material i hiighly recommend! well just wanted to check in. off for dinner and a bath and reading time oh the things we can do when not drinking! the time we get back! ITS OURS!

oh and the real feelings i totally understand. i dont think i have "felt" like "really felt" in years.... when i got sober before this last relapse i could cry over anything!!! and even yesterday i was scolding myself saying ....why are you thinking about that..it happened 9years ago..weird...

maybe i will get on chat thur night since i am off fri - sun thanks for the invite!

Sunny27

Hey stepping

I think i read Drinking - a Love Sory years ago. Is it about a woman that goes on to develop an addiction problem? A true story and she is in her 20s/30s? It rings a bell with me.

I was out last night till 11.30pm, but didn't drink. It is getting easier to just think 'why would you want it?'

I still think a glass would be nice but my resolve is stronger and being on this forum has helped sooooo much.

Stepping, try and get on Chat - the people are great and it would be great to 'talk' to you. You've really helped me stay strong

Have a good day

Sunny xx

dill

Hey Sunny,
Just found soberrecovery yesterday and read your post from a few weeks back.

It's encouraging for me to see the positive steps you have made and how you are getting stronger. That's what I'm looking for in my recovery.
I wish you luck on your journey

Sunny27

Hi dill and welcome

Thanks for your lovely message. I am just keeping focused and so far, so good.

I am still socialising in pubs a lot with friends and I am sure some people are thinking I shouldn't be doing that at this early stage. I suppose I know the way it is in Ireland - a lot of activities revolve around the pubs, so I may as well not make a big issue out of staying away.

In fact, I think if I made a big point out of staying away that I would make this worse than it needs to be.

I got the book Rational Recovery in the post yesterday (saw it this morning), so am looking forward to getting stuck into that. For some reason it seems to be speaking to me more than, say, AA. I believe I am in a position to say NO to drink and that is that.

Seems to be working so far and every time I have even an inkling of wanting a glass of wine, I remind myself that for 20 years I have been not been able to moderate and this day, week, month, year is no different.

Good luck, dill. I have got a lot of support on here and wish you all the best

Sunny xx

losteverything

Sunny...I am proud of you...keep doing the right thing, together we will improve our lives, little by little...

Sunny27

Thanks lost

I'm with you!!! I am thinking differently about things now. Life doesn't seem as difficult and hopeless. Sometimes I just get fleeting thoughts that are so positive and it surprises me. If this is what sobriety is like, then I'm sticking with it.

Day 18. Who'd have thought it?

Sunny xx

stepping

Hey Sunny!!! Just wanted to pop in and say hi and congrats on day 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!

I didnt get on chat tonight because i am EXHAUSTED to the max. Work has really been stressing me out........ not to mention testing me here lately! I have got to make it to AA. it's the only thing that is going to save me for the long run. Ugh, dont worry though I am hanging in there with all my little might! It's just testing!

You keep going girl! YOU ARE DOING GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS You have helped me too in this recovery I think of u daily...(and not just when im on here)

Sunny27

Thanks stepping, I think of you and justhad and the people I have met in chat a good bit, too. It really is a fantastic community here. I look forward to popping into the chat rppm and catching up with everyone. Hi Maus

Day 20 now. To think I have made it to almost three weeks is pretty mind-boggling. I did go off it for a few months in 2009 but I was still thinking then I could moderate. I am older and wiser now.

I know what I have to do to make my life better and for me it is as easy as that.

I have been reading Rational Recovery and it is really speaking to me so I am going to stick with that programme. I am so glad you are going to AA - whatever helps us and works for us is all that matters.

Keep at it stepping, we are all rooting for the same team here - sobriety!!

Hope to catch up with you over the weekend.

Take care

Sunny xx

jocata

Good job sunny! So glad you found a program to work. I think that is vital in sobriety. I'll be 40 this year too, and when I look back on my life, I realize that over half of it was wasted in a drunken, stoned stupor. Thank God we can have an awesome second half to our lives if we want it.

I know I do. Sounds like you do too. Keep it up!

God bless.

Sunny27

Jocata - here's to the second half - the BEST half

Three weeks tomorrow and looking forward.

I met a friend after work and she bought me a wine without thinking. I recoiled in horror and we changed it. Funny how they just forget. Last time I saw her I was on day 7

Came home, got into some comfy PJs, had some dinner and logged on here. Great to know I no longer want that life

All the best to you Jocata

Sunny xx

Mint

Hi Sunny, keep it up. I think you are doing awesome and you
are so strong! Reading your posts helps me too.

Sunny27

Hi Mint

What a lovely thing to say. Thank you

And today is my three-week mark. Wahooooo!!!!

All is good. I feel so much calmer. Things that worried and occupied my mind (end of a relationship) seem less a big deal. In fact, I am actually thinking 'well, we weren't that suited' There is someone else out ther for me.

Generally I think I look better. My skin is very clear and so are my eyes. I was getting ready for work yesterday and was quite surprised at how 'young' I look for my age. I used to have a reddish colour that I covered with makeup but that appears to be gone.

My skin is not dry anymore either. It was just my nose but it isn't dry anymore and I am delighted with that.

I am financially better off. In fact, I am working on a budget this morning to get myself ahead in my mortgage by a month. I had a meeting with the bank manager yesterday and he was gobsmacked. I don't think anyone else in Ireland is paying a month in advance when people are defaulting left, right and centre. I just want to have a safety net in case I run short one month.

In the past that money would have been spent on extra nights out. So lame when I think about the waste of it all... but at least I am on the right track now.

i haven't noticed any signicifcant weight loss, but I think that is because I have been eating more My plan is to work on that. I don't have a lot to lose at all. If i could lose 5-6lbs I'd be really happy.

So there you go, three weeks on and a noticeable difference to the initial post I made.

To everyone else on this journey - stick with it. We owe ourselves to be happy and free of addiction and it is possible.

Sunny xx

stepping

What an inspiring post Sunny!! You have made so many positive changes in your life by just removing one negative aspect! It's gonna keep getting better so just keep on truckin'

justhadenough

Hi Sunny
Many congratulations on 3 weeks-it's a brilliant achievement. It's good to hear that you also feel you are looking and feeling better too. I know what you mean-I looked in the mirror yesterday and thought my face looked fresher than it has in years! I think most of it is that the bloat has gone and the redness has reduced too. I hope the little broken veins go in time but I can cover them with make up.

I have had a lousy week with loads of problems but my way of dealing with them has changed. I can totally relate to what you say about things not seeming as big a deal as before. Looking at them with a clearer head has made me realize they aren't huge problems, just the things life throws at us!!

I've lost 9 pounds too (though did have it to lose and need to lose more as was 3 stone overweight) Not really noticed a difference in money as hubbie buys the wine on his way home from work but was not open to my suggestion of giving me the money instead of the wine!!

Anyway, another sober weekend for us. How are you finding going into bars-I hope you are still ok with it and not tempted. I still don't think I could do that but luckily it's not arisen yet.

Keep well.xx

Sunny27

Hi justhad and stepping and everyone

Great work jushad on the weight loss - slow and steady does it!!

I too had the little broken veins but they seem to be going and the bloated face has too.

I met a friend y'day afternoon in the pub. She said i looked great and asked if I had lost weight. I said no, I think it was my new jeans Maybe I have lost a bit.

I had three soda waters and lime and it was fine. Everyone around me was drinking wine and I thought fair play to them for being able moderate. I know I can't and knowing that keeps me going.

I told my friend I was going to a hen party in march and wouldn't be drinking. She looked surprised and said 'are you going tos tay off it after january' and I said yes, I feel so much better not drinking. I had planned to do it this way so as to avoid any awkward questions.

Everyone has been very supportive and not really questioned it - and how can they when I am projecting a happier me.

My annoying flatmate is working today so I have the place to myself. Will do a tidy up and then have a long soak in a hot bath.

I never really looked after myself like that when I was drinking. I will put ona face mask - the works.

Life is so much better without drink. I wish I had realised it 10 years ago but better late than never.

Looking ahead to the one month mark now

Much love to all.

Sunny xx

stepping

Sunny YOU ARE AMAZING!!!! HUGS!!! You really are an inspiration to me! KEEP ON TRUCKIN!!!

Where in the world did I get the word trucking? I use it way too often to be normal on here? LOL!

Sunny27

hahahahaha. I like keep on truckin' on

Thanks stepping, day 23 today and I am feeling great today. I have a friend coming around tonight to teach me about facebook (I need to know it for work and am useless at it). I said I'd cook dinner and to just bring what she wants to dronk.

I said I have non-alco wine but I have no problem with her bringing a bottle if she wants to. She said she will have a glass of the non-alco stuff. I'm so glad everyone is behind me. They all think I am fine and can drink again but I know I can't.

In years past I'd have thought 'ah, ok, if everyone thinks I am Ok then I am'. But how can anyone know what someone really drinks unless they are with them 24/7?

Head very clear and waking up is a joy. I look forward to getting up and starting the day.

I'm going to keep truckin' on

How are you doing stepping??? Is the new place good??

Sunny xx

blackoutgirl

Hi Sunny!! Keep up the good work! You deserve to pamper yourself. I find that my hair looks much better nowadays, LOL! Didn't realize how much I really didn't care before. I actually got a new hair cut and a few new clothes. Feels like a whole new me

I'm doing well, just getting into the swing of things on my new schedule. My new job is great and its been one month and four days since I've drank. Would be ridiculous to throw it all away and go back. My boyfriend told me that he notices a difference in my anxiety level since I gave up the other job. Just one less trigger I suppose. So happy for you, Sunny!!

Sunny27

Hey blackout girl

Good to hear from you!

Day 24 and still trukkin' on lol

I actually called in sick today as I have an eye infection. Truth be told it is not that bad, but i fancy a day off and I never do this.

Am glad to hear you are doing well. It's amazing how being free of booze changes out outlook.

I was never diagnosed with anxiety, but I know a lot of decisions I mde were in a hangover fuzz and not rationale. I am glad that the choices I make now are made witha clear head and I know they are decisions I can stand by (like pulling a sick day lol).

Really love checking in here and reading how you are all doing. Am so eternally gratefull for SR.

Looking forward to one month with extreme optimism.

Sunny xx

Sunny27

Well, it is day 27 - my lucky number - and I am sober and feel great.

Financially, I got a surprise when I checked my bank account!!! There was more in there than I thought.

Work is going well... I am enjoying it

I am still socialising as much as before but I am not drinking and it has almost become a habit now to order soda and lime. I don't feel as if I am missing out at all. In fact I am glad I didn't make a big deal out of staying out of pubs.

My memory is still not great, but I didn't expect that to fix itself overnight - it is not really bad, but I'd like it to improve.

I am so glad I made the decision to stop drinking. I am so grateful to this site and the new friends I have made on here and in chat. I look forward to logging on and catching up with them.

I am looking forward to my life having so much more meaning.

Sobriety is a blessing and I am so grateful for every day now. Every day is full of promise, whereas before I was just going through the motions.

Thanks to everyone for your support and for keeping me strong - I truly cannot thank you all enough .

Sunny xx