My story - I need you guys
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Southern NJ
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by Sunny27 
I felt a bit tempted, but my resolve is strong and I know if I had a few glasses it would lead to her opening another bottle and then me going to work hungover and fuzzy and I am so SICK of that life.
If I was home, bored, I'd gladly drink at home (similar amounts) and have just as much a good time as if I was out with friends around me.
I stopped for a little over a month - no harsh side effects - just a little extra energy, poor sleep, changes in appetite - and resumed drinking for another 8 months or so.
New Years Day was my first sober day this go around. I simply was tired of drinking. I'm tired of spending the $$, I'm tired of the alcohol related weight gain, not being able to drive after having a couple drinks, etc.... As much as I enjoy drinking, I find it to be completely fruitless.
I too, could easily have a glass of wine and put it down. I'm not the type of person that has a drink or two then has to resume drinking until I'm in a coma. However, I do know! That eventually I will resume my daily drinking volume - which will lead to heart problems, diabetes, and other problems I don't care to have in my life for my future.
I've decided to step off the bus, before I wind up 1,500 miles down the road.
Best of luck, I have hope you can change your patterns!
stepping on my way...
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,079
Heya Sunny. Just read about that punk guy 
You don't need anyone in your life who won't give you the time of day. Read this book.... can't think of exact title since I am living out of a suit case and all of my stuff is in storage at gosh knows where 
BUT it's 30 dates in 30 days..something to that effect and the authors first name is Kristen. First couple sentences.... Hi my name is Kristen. I am 30 years old and single. And I'm an alcoholic. This is not how my life was suppose to be. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE when thinking about guys/relationships and getting sober.. i have to leave it at that... wouldnt wanna ruin anything. Seriously read it. I can tell already you are a beautiful person and any idiot that doesnt see that isnt worth your time. There's someone waiting who will sneak up when your cute little sober self least expects it and you will look back at this dummy and say ..you missed out buddy 
hang in there!! HUGS!! If u ever wanna get into a conversation about rejection or feeling like love isnt coming quick enough.. i will be here all weekend..cause i got plenty to tell about myself as well hahaha. hang in there hun. i had a rough day too and almost caved BUT i am not going there anymore. i know all that would do is create more problems for me and another slip which leads to days then weeks then month. i cringe at the thought ughhhhhhh. HUGS HUGS HUGS!!
You don't need anyone in your life who won't give you the time of day. Read this book.... can't think of exact title since I am living out of a suit case and all of my stuff is in storage at gosh knows where 
BUT it's 30 dates in 30 days..something to that effect and the authors first name is Kristen. First couple sentences.... Hi my name is Kristen. I am 30 years old and single. And I'm an alcoholic. This is not how my life was suppose to be. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE when thinking about guys/relationships and getting sober.. i have to leave it at that... wouldnt wanna ruin anything. Seriously read it. I can tell already you are a beautiful person and any idiot that doesnt see that isnt worth your time. There's someone waiting who will sneak up when your cute little sober self least expects it and you will look back at this dummy and say ..you missed out buddy hang in there!! HUGS!! If u ever wanna get into a conversation about rejection or feeling like love isnt coming quick enough.. i will be here all weekend..cause i got plenty to tell about myself as well hahaha. hang in there hun. i had a rough day too and almost caved BUT i am not going there anymore. i know all that would do is create more problems for me and another slip which leads to days then weeks then month. i cringe at the thought ughhhhhhh. HUGS HUGS HUGS!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Spinning happily in my hula hoop
Posts: 2,618
Originally Posted by Sunny27
Hi there fellow SR people
this is my first post under this name. I went to register earlier and realised my email address was in use from 2009, when I obviously registered and had forgotten about it.
Well, I am here because I am admitting to myself that I am an alcoholic and I can't deny it to myself anymore.
I am female, late-30s and have abused alcohol my entire adult life.
I first started drinking in college at 18. I was a shy teenager and loved the idea of drinking and getting out of my head. I had a very dysfunctional childhood and it seemed that alcohol numbed those feelings of sadness. My mum had mental issues and was in and out of mental hospitals since I can remember and I was her carer. My father divorced her when i was young and was a useless father. Neither of them drank. Well, my mum maybe a bottle of wine a week. I was not brought up around alcohol like so many were.
If I had known then the lonely path alcohol abuse would lead me, I'd have put a stop to it, but at that age and finally feeling free and confident, there was no chance of that happening.
I made a lot of friends in college and we were all big drinkers. That carried on after college. I seemed to live for going out and socialising.
I had a loving boyfriend but my insecurity and paranoia that he would cheat (as my father had done) pushed him away after several years. That break-up left me a broken woman. I saw him as my route to happiness; he did seem to really love me (my own father was out of the scene then as I cut contact with him when I was 12). Anyway, that break-up was the catalyst to me drinking more.
This carried on for years, usually just wine and spirits. I surrounded myself with friends that drank and in my 20s, there were plenty of obliging friends.
I moved overseas in my late 20s and found myself happy to be away from home, but lacking in so many ways - I did not have a normal family, if anything I was ashamed of them (I never felt I fit in).
I had a string of uneventful relationships that were always based around drinking.
I moved countries again 2.5 years later to where I currently live now. Again it was difficult as I knew no-one, but I made friends easily and then fell into a long-distance relationship with a binge drinker. I loved him but his drinking only served to escalate my own and he cheated on me numerous times.
This relationship - on/off carried on for 8 years. In the times we weren't together I moved in and had relationships with a pot-smoking violent thug and then an alcoholic (had been in rehab) but still drank.
I sit here now and think what was I doing with these using low-lifes (they all were). I can't believe I wasted years in a drunken fuzz.
I was the party girl at work, always suggesting drinks and am never the one to say 'right, I'm off'. Once I start drinking I want the party and fun to continue as it still serves as my escape.
I met a decent guy recently and blew that by being a drunken idiot and making a total fool of myself.
I am well liked, intelligent and yet feel a fraud a lot of the time.
I drink at home a lot if I can't find anyone to go out with me after work. I can drink a bottle of wine and feel hardly any effect these days.
I don't drink every day, but most days at least a glass of wine. I think it a big deal when I go 2 days without a drink and I know that is not normal.
I have not drank today. I feel as because it is a new year I want to start off on the right foot. I don't want to make the bad relationship choices, I don't want to **** of the good guys, but most importantly I don't want to spend the next 10 years waking up feeling regret, anxiety, stress and self-loathing.
I know it is never too late to quit, but at 39 I don't know if I have wasted the best years of my life and that brings me to tears.
I don't sleep well and know that is the result of drinking and I often feel I am depressed - a direct result of constant boozing.
I apologise if this is all over the place, but I just had to get it all out. Perhaps there is someone out there that can relate?
I want to be free of this dependance and I want to live. Live a different, happier life.
Thanks so much for reading, I didn't intend this to be so long.
Sunny.
this is my first post under this name. I went to register earlier and realised my email address was in use from 2009, when I obviously registered and had forgotten about it.
Well, I am here because I am admitting to myself that I am an alcoholic and I can't deny it to myself anymore.
I am female, late-30s and have abused alcohol my entire adult life.
I first started drinking in college at 18. I was a shy teenager and loved the idea of drinking and getting out of my head. I had a very dysfunctional childhood and it seemed that alcohol numbed those feelings of sadness. My mum had mental issues and was in and out of mental hospitals since I can remember and I was her carer. My father divorced her when i was young and was a useless father. Neither of them drank. Well, my mum maybe a bottle of wine a week. I was not brought up around alcohol like so many were.
If I had known then the lonely path alcohol abuse would lead me, I'd have put a stop to it, but at that age and finally feeling free and confident, there was no chance of that happening.
I made a lot of friends in college and we were all big drinkers. That carried on after college. I seemed to live for going out and socialising.
I had a loving boyfriend but my insecurity and paranoia that he would cheat (as my father had done) pushed him away after several years. That break-up left me a broken woman. I saw him as my route to happiness; he did seem to really love me (my own father was out of the scene then as I cut contact with him when I was 12). Anyway, that break-up was the catalyst to me drinking more.
This carried on for years, usually just wine and spirits. I surrounded myself with friends that drank and in my 20s, there were plenty of obliging friends.
I moved overseas in my late 20s and found myself happy to be away from home, but lacking in so many ways - I did not have a normal family, if anything I was ashamed of them (I never felt I fit in).
I had a string of uneventful relationships that were always based around drinking.
I moved countries again 2.5 years later to where I currently live now. Again it was difficult as I knew no-one, but I made friends easily and then fell into a long-distance relationship with a binge drinker. I loved him but his drinking only served to escalate my own and he cheated on me numerous times.
This relationship - on/off carried on for 8 years. In the times we weren't together I moved in and had relationships with a pot-smoking violent thug and then an alcoholic (had been in rehab) but still drank.
I sit here now and think what was I doing with these using low-lifes (they all were). I can't believe I wasted years in a drunken fuzz.
I was the party girl at work, always suggesting drinks and am never the one to say 'right, I'm off'. Once I start drinking I want the party and fun to continue as it still serves as my escape.
I met a decent guy recently and blew that by being a drunken idiot and making a total fool of myself.
I am well liked, intelligent and yet feel a fraud a lot of the time.
I drink at home a lot if I can't find anyone to go out with me after work. I can drink a bottle of wine and feel hardly any effect these days.
I don't drink every day, but most days at least a glass of wine. I think it a big deal when I go 2 days without a drink and I know that is not normal.
I have not drank today. I feel as because it is a new year I want to start off on the right foot. I don't want to make the bad relationship choices, I don't want to **** of the good guys, but most importantly I don't want to spend the next 10 years waking up feeling regret, anxiety, stress and self-loathing.
I know it is never too late to quit, but at 39 I don't know if I have wasted the best years of my life and that brings me to tears.
I don't sleep well and know that is the result of drinking and I often feel I am depressed - a direct result of constant boozing.
I apologise if this is all over the place, but I just had to get it all out. Perhaps there is someone out there that can relate?
I want to be free of this dependance and I want to live. Live a different, happier life.
Thanks so much for reading, I didn't intend this to be so long.
Sunny.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Thanks sober I was happy drinking a bottle of wine at home as well if I was bored. I never felt lonely. I am blessed with lots of great friends, but I loved the buzz and I never really stopped to think about what I was doing to myself.
I got so used to being either drunk/very tipsy and then hungover. I haven't read a book in months. My memory is shot - I tried to read a book last month and couldn't keep up with all the characters (mind you, there was a lot). I am hoping it will improve a bit.
I'm going to visit a friend in another city on Friday for the night. I usually bring up a nice bottle of wine, but this time I am going to bring her up a pair of earrings
I told her I am off the drink and she has been incredibly supportive.
Stepping - thanl you!!! So great to read your cheery posts. No I didn't cave. The alcoholic beer (Becks) has 0.3% alcohol so I was beating myself up about it and convinced myself last night when I couldn't sleep was because I had 0.9% alcohol in my system.
I realise that is silly, but I have been so good with not touching the wine. It was hard in the wine bar, but I knew I would drink 2 to my friends 1 (as I often did).
I can see so clearly now that I am around other drinkers how wrong my approach was. Last night a friend had two glasses of red wine and I had an apple juice.
She then switched to a coffee!!! I would never EVER have done that. I asked why she wanted a coffee (not accusing or anything) and she said she felt tipsy and didn't want to wake up hungover. OMG! I never worried about the forthcoming hangover when I was drinking.
Stepping, yes he is a bit of a shallow plonker and there will be other lovely men. And I will be sober meeting them this time around too I like the sound of the book you mentioned and will get it this week so I can read it on the bus up to my friend Friday.
Well done on staying strong. I think of you often and you keep me strong. Am so glad I didn't cave last night!!!
Nel - thanks so much for making me feel so welcome. I post on other forums but plan to phase that out so I can spend more time here. The stories keep me strong and in the early days I suppose that is more important than ever.
Day 5.... here I come
Thanks again everyone,
Sunny xxx
I was happy drinking a bottle of wine at home as well if I was bored. I never felt lonely. I am blessed with lots of great friends, but I loved the buzz and I never really stopped to think about what I was doing to myself.I got so used to being either drunk/very tipsy and then hungover. I haven't read a book in months. My memory is shot - I tried to read a book last month and couldn't keep up with all the characters (mind you, there was a lot). I am hoping it will improve a bit.
I'm going to visit a friend in another city on Friday for the night. I usually bring up a nice bottle of wine, but this time I am going to bring her up a pair of earrings
I told her I am off the drink and she has been incredibly supportive.Stepping - thanl you!!! So great to read your cheery posts. No I didn't cave. The alcoholic beer (Becks) has 0.3% alcohol so I was beating myself up about it and convinced myself last night when I couldn't sleep was because I had 0.9% alcohol in my system.
I realise that is silly, but I have been so good with not touching the wine. It was hard in the wine bar, but I knew I would drink 2 to my friends 1 (as I often did).
I can see so clearly now that I am around other drinkers how wrong my approach was. Last night a friend had two glasses of red wine and I had an apple juice.
She then switched to a coffee!!! I would never EVER have done that. I asked why she wanted a coffee (not accusing or anything) and she said she felt tipsy and didn't want to wake up hungover. OMG! I never worried about the forthcoming hangover when I was drinking.
Stepping, yes he is a bit of a shallow plonker and there will be other lovely men. And I will be sober meeting them this time around too
I like the sound of the book you mentioned and will get it this week so I can read it on the bus up to my friend Friday.Well done on staying strong. I think of you often and you keep me strong. Am so glad I didn't cave last night!!!
Nel - thanks so much for making me feel so welcome. I post on other forums but plan to phase that out so I can spend more time here. The stories keep me strong and in the early days I suppose that is more important than ever.
Day 5.... here I come
Thanks again everyone,
Sunny xxx
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 184
Sunny, I'm so proud of you for staying strong!!! Welcome to day 5 and I hope you have a great day to go along with it I had such a rough night at work, then came home to a holy mess because my dog ripped a hole in my leather couch...my boyfriend is upset and wants to get rid of him and I just can't bear it. It's times like this that I would have easily reached in the fridge to squelch my frustration. Instead I'm going to put my space heater in the bedroom, snuggle up and go to bed. There are many more men to chose from, Sunny. Just let this one pass and a great one will come your way!
I had such a rough night at work, then came home to a holy mess because my dog ripped a hole in my leather couch...my boyfriend is upset and wants to get rid of him and I just can't bear it. It's times like this that I would have easily reached in the fridge to squelch my frustration. Instead I'm going to put my space heater in the bedroom, snuggle up and go to bed. There are many more men to chose from, Sunny. Just let this one pass and a great one will come your way!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Originally Posted by blackoutgirl
Sunny, I'm so proud of you for staying strong!!! Welcome to day 5 and I hope you have a great day to go along with it I had such a rough night at work, then came home to a holy mess because my dog ripped a hole in my leather couch...my boyfriend is upset and wants to get rid of him and I just can't bear it. It's times like this that I would have easily reached in the fridge to squelch my frustration. Instead I'm going to put my space heater in the bedroom, snuggle up and go to bed. There are many more men to chose from, Sunny. Just let this one pass and a great one will come your way!
I had such a rough night at work, then came home to a holy mess because my dog ripped a hole in my leather couch...my boyfriend is upset and wants to get rid of him and I just can't bear it. It's times like this that I would have easily reached in the fridge to squelch my frustration. Instead I'm going to put my space heater in the bedroom, snuggle up and go to bed. There are many more men to chose from, Sunny. Just let this one pass and a great one will come your way!Is that your dog in the photo that snacked on the couch?
Ah, he is lovely. Maybe he just needs the 'Dog Whisperer' and a bit of training? Something like that would send me to the shop for a bottle of wine as well.
I ordered the Rational Recovery book today. I never felt really at ease with the idea of AA if I am honest and from what I have read, the book seems more my style.
I know it is my choice to drink and has always been that way. No-one forced it down my throat and I could have done other things with my time when I felt down or whatever, but for me blocking it out with booze was the easiest response.
I had a great day at work today and learnt loads about internet marketing. My head is clear and I am looking forward to catching up with a friend later. I won't be drinking and have no intention to - and we have already decided that the guy's name will NOT be mentioned.
Day 6 is looking good for tomorrow. I really hope everyone else is having a good day.
Sunny xx
stepping on my way...
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,079
You are doing great Sunny!!! I am so proud of you. LOL to the .9 percent alcohol keeping you from sleep...shows how our minds are WILD!
The book is called 50/50 its 50 dates in 50 weeks lol. I thought about that on ride into work and was like duh..that would be speed dating to the max (30/30) yeah read it girl I loved it. Or you could PM me your address and I will mail it to you!
have a good night! I again am exhausted from waking up at 4 am the past three days my body is just not adjusted yet..plus I feel all fevery...I NEED SLEEP and i am off tomorrow so sleeping in is a MUST talk to you tomorrow!
The book is called 50/50 its 50 dates in 50 weeks lol. I thought about that on ride into work and was like duh..that would be speed dating to the max (30/30) yeah read it girl I loved it. Or you could PM me your address and I will mail it to you!
have a good night! I again am exhausted from waking up at 4 am the past three days my body is just not adjusted yet..plus I feel all fevery...I NEED SLEEP and i am off tomorrow so sleeping in is a MUST
talk to you tomorrow!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Morning all!!
Well, last night was a good one, met my friend and had 2 diet 7Ups! Had a really good talk and am feeling really strong now for day 6. Was up early to pack my stuff to go up to visit my friend tonight.
I slept really well. Didn't have any bad dreams for the first night so maybe that is the end of them? I hope so.
Stepping, hey there I checked my local bookshop but they did not have the book. I will get it on Amazon so you hang on to yours, but thank you so much for the offer. It's very sweet of you. xx
My thought processes have changed. I am thinking a lot more of my life and what I want to achieve instead of feeling despair. I wasn't living when I was drinking. I was just existing and it was not a nice way to be - just going through the motions.
I have another book to read called 'I'll stop tomorrow'. I have started reading it before but never finished it so will read that on the bus trip. It's about an Irish guy called Paul Campbell that was an alcoholic and lost everything. He was a highly successful businessman but through drinking lost his family, business and had to start all over.
May be worth a read for anyone that could relate.
So, here comes day 6!!! Hope everyone else is holding strong and looking forward.
I am so grateful for this place and for all of those of you that have posted and helped me see through the fog.
I can't thank you all enough.
Sunny xxx
Well, last night was a good one, met my friend and had 2 diet 7Ups! Had a really good talk and am feeling really strong now for day 6. Was up early to pack my stuff to go up to visit my friend tonight.
I slept really well. Didn't have any bad dreams for the first night so maybe that is the end of them? I hope so.
Stepping, hey there
I checked my local bookshop but they did not have the book. I will get it on Amazon so you hang on to yours, but thank you so much for the offer. It's very sweet of you. xxMy thought processes have changed. I am thinking a lot more of my life and what I want to achieve instead of feeling despair. I wasn't living when I was drinking. I was just existing and it was not a nice way to be - just going through the motions.
I have another book to read called 'I'll stop tomorrow'. I have started reading it before but never finished it so will read that on the bus trip. It's about an Irish guy called Paul Campbell that was an alcoholic and lost everything. He was a highly successful businessman but through drinking lost his family, business and had to start all over.
May be worth a read for anyone that could relate.
So, here comes day 6!!! Hope everyone else is holding strong and looking forward.
I am so grateful for this place and for all of those of you that have posted and helped me see through the fog.
I can't thank you all enough.
Sunny xxx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Day 7 and I am doing great. I just want to share
I heard from an old friend today out of the blue and have organised to meet her next weekend. I also have almost finished the first book I've read in ages.
The house is spotless, food on the shelves. I feel just like everyone else now and I love it.
Still a long way to go, I am not deluding myself I will ever be fully cured, but a week is almost done and it feels really exciting and liberating
I heard from an old friend today out of the blue and have organised to meet her next weekend. I also have almost finished the first book I've read in ages.
The house is spotless, food on the shelves. I feel just like everyone else now and I love it.
Still a long way to go, I am not deluding myself I will ever be fully cured, but a week is almost done and it feels really exciting and liberating
stepping on my way...
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,079
Awesome Sunny!!! VERY proud of you!! Compare this last post with the first one you posted. Why would you ever go back there? YOU WONT! You are doing great. Keep this attitude and the battle you will forever face can be conquered!! You got this girl!
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Thanks stepping
Well, it is 1.20am here and I have just got in from a great night out with friends who were all drinking. I had 3 diet 7ups and had a brilliant time.
I was looking at the vino and proseco flowing and thought how easy it would be for me to have a glass and go back to my old ways and just thought no way
I am really pleased I enjoyed myself without feeling like I was missing out.
Friends were great. No-one pressed me about why once I said I just decided to stay off it.
I plan to get up early, go for a walk, finish my book and meet friends for coffee later. I love this new lease of life I have.
I hope everyone else is doing as well.
Sunny xx
Well, it is 1.20am here and I have just got in from a great night out with friends who were all drinking. I had 3 diet 7ups and had a brilliant time.
I was looking at the vino and proseco flowing and thought how easy it would be for me to have a glass and go back to my old ways and just thought no way
I am really pleased I enjoyed myself without feeling like I was missing out.
Friends were great. No-one pressed me about why once I said I just decided to stay off it.
I plan to get up early, go for a walk, finish my book and meet friends for coffee later. I love this new lease of life I have.
I hope everyone else is doing as well.
Sunny xx
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 184
Hi Sunny, funny thing, I was thinking about how you were doing tonight while completing chores around the house. I thought,"I wonder how Sunny's night out is going?" Glad you had a great time!
Just imagine, tomorrow you will wake up refreshed and have a relaxing Sunday without a splitting hangover! I have woke up in the morning and almost had to remind myself that I felt o.k. just because I was so used to feeling like crap! Keep up the good work and congratulations on how well you are doing!
Just imagine, tomorrow you will wake up refreshed and have a relaxing Sunday without a splitting hangover! I have woke up in the morning and almost had to remind myself that I felt o.k. just because I was so used to feeling like crap! Keep up the good work and congratulations on how well you are doing!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
hiya blackoutgirl!
Yes, it was anovelty waking up after being out till after 1am with no hangover and a FULL recollection of the night before.
I was walking home this morning and the amount of people I saw falling out of pubs etc, putting themselves in dangerous situations (standing in the middle of roads etc etc) really opened my eyes to the sort of harm it would have been so easy to have come to.
I was up before 10am, feeling great, and am about to go do a mini food shop so that I can come home after work every night this week and cook here. In the past I would have met a friend after work out for wine and then got home pissed and either skipped dinner or bought a bottle of wine and drank that instead. I was always aware of the calories so would deny myself food if I was drinking a bottle in the evening.
I feel somewhat invincible now. Last night, one of the lads bought a bottle of prosecco at the end of the night and got 4 glasses. He asked did I want one (I think some of my friends are still in disbelief) and I said no. He said no bother and they finished off the bottle between them. In the past I would have drank my glass faster than everyone else to make sure I got a second glass for the buzz before moving on to the next venue.
My take on drinking is completely wrong and I know that now. I am not prepared to go down the old moderation route when it hasn't worked for me in 20 years. I have been kidding and deluding myself.
Oh, and the guy I said was a plonker did gert in touch and does want to see the sober me and go hill walking. We'll see what happens, but sober I am not obsessing the way I used to.
I have a life now and I plan to make the most of it
Yipppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Sunny xx
Yes, it was anovelty waking up after being out till after 1am with no hangover and a FULL recollection of the night before.
I was walking home this morning and the amount of people I saw falling out of pubs etc, putting themselves in dangerous situations (standing in the middle of roads etc etc) really opened my eyes to the sort of harm it would have been so easy to have come to.
I was up before 10am, feeling great, and am about to go do a mini food shop so that I can come home after work every night this week and cook here. In the past I would have met a friend after work out for wine and then got home pissed and either skipped dinner or bought a bottle of wine and drank that instead. I was always aware of the calories so would deny myself food if I was drinking a bottle in the evening.
I feel somewhat invincible now. Last night, one of the lads bought a bottle of prosecco at the end of the night and got 4 glasses. He asked did I want one (I think some of my friends are still in disbelief) and I said no. He said no bother and they finished off the bottle between them. In the past I would have drank my glass faster than everyone else to make sure I got a second glass for the buzz before moving on to the next venue.
My take on drinking is completely wrong and I know that now. I am not prepared to go down the old moderation route when it hasn't worked for me in 20 years. I have been kidding and deluding myself.
Oh, and the guy I said was a plonker did gert in touch and does want to see the sober me and go hill walking. We'll see what happens, but sober I am not obsessing the way I used to.
I have a life now and I plan to make the most of it
Yipppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Sunny xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
hello sunny,
this is my first time on this site. this is day 6 for me not having a drink. I've been reading many stories which have been so helpful but yours even more so as I could have written it myself.
Congrats on staying sober. I feel so much better now after the last 5 bad days. I admire that you can go into a pub and not drink. I really don't think I could do that but I have a young child so don't go out anyway. Mine is more drinking wine at home every night.
Its amazing how even just after a short time how much better I feel. I've just had enough of drinking and feeling awful the next day. Ive tried to stop before and thought as I could go a few days didn't have a problem but I do have a big problem. one drink just leads to more and more.
Anyway I'm just taking it one day at a time. just wish I could sleep and not have nightmares.
this is my first time on this site. this is day 6 for me not having a drink. I've been reading many stories which have been so helpful but yours even more so as I could have written it myself.
Congrats on staying sober. I feel so much better now after the last 5 bad days. I admire that you can go into a pub and not drink. I really don't think I could do that but I have a young child so don't go out anyway. Mine is more drinking wine at home every night.
Its amazing how even just after a short time how much better I feel. I've just had enough of drinking and feeling awful the next day. Ive tried to stop before and thought as I could go a few days didn't have a problem but I do have a big problem. one drink just leads to more and more.
Anyway I'm just taking it one day at a time. just wish I could sleep and not have nightmares.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Originally Posted by justhadenough
hello sunny,
this is my first time on this site. this is day 6 for me not having a drink. I've been reading many stories which have been so helpful but yours even more so as I could have written it myself.
Congrats on staying sober. I feel so much better now after the last 5 bad days. I admire that you can go into a pub and not drink. I really don't think I could do that but I have a young child so don't go out anyway. Mine is more drinking wine at home every night.
Its amazing how even just after a short time how much better I feel. I've just had enough of drinking and feeling awful the next day. Ive tried to stop before and thought as I could go a few days didn't have a problem but I do have a big problem. one drink just leads to more and more.
Anyway I'm just taking it one day at a time. just wish I could sleep and not have nightmares.
this is my first time on this site. this is day 6 for me not having a drink. I've been reading many stories which have been so helpful but yours even more so as I could have written it myself.
Congrats on staying sober. I feel so much better now after the last 5 bad days. I admire that you can go into a pub and not drink. I really don't think I could do that but I have a young child so don't go out anyway. Mine is more drinking wine at home every night.
Its amazing how even just after a short time how much better I feel. I've just had enough of drinking and feeling awful the next day. Ive tried to stop before and thought as I could go a few days didn't have a problem but I do have a big problem. one drink just leads to more and more.
Anyway I'm just taking it one day at a time. just wish I could sleep and not have nightmares.
I too denied to myself I had a problem, but I drank wine most evenings and convinced myself it was OK. I was poisoning myself.
Welcome on board the sobriety train
I had nightmares and vivid dreams for the first few days but last night I slept brilliant.
I am going to try and stay up as late as I can and read so that I go to bed thoroughly exhausted. Maybe that could work for you, too?
The pub thing is something I had to tackle. I live in Ireland and there is a HUGE pub culture. I know I can't moderate and a drink will lead me straight back to my old ways. That is what is keeping me on track.
Keep posting and know you are not alone. We are all here for the same reason.
Stay in touch.
Sunny xxx
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
Hi Sunny
Thanks for your kind words. It does help to know others are going through the same thing. I will take your advice and stay up late tonight. It's amazing how long the evenings seem now i'm not drinking.
I understand the pub thing-I used to work in an environment where we went out for long lunches and after work as a regular thing and things just escalate. Luckily, I'm not working at the moment.
Thanks again and I will stay in touch.xx
Thanks for your kind words. It does help to know others are going through the same thing. I will take your advice and stay up late tonight. It's amazing how long the evenings seem now i'm not drinking.
I understand the pub thing-I used to work in an environment where we went out for long lunches and after work as a regular thing and things just escalate. Luckily, I'm not working at the moment.
Thanks again and I will stay in touch.xx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Justhadenough - no problem at all.
Do you read much? I love Jodi Piccoult and Anita Shreve and can recommend a book called Testimony. You will lose yourself in it and be up reading all night lol
Am so glad you found this place as well. It really helps to be able to share feelings and not be judged. I have judged myself long enough. I don't think I ever really loved myself, but I am working on that and step 1 is to deal with my alcohol problem.
I am a good person, but the drinking always overshadowed that. i want to feel complete and happoy without the crutch of booze.
All the best and here's to happy times ahead.
Sunny xx
Do you read much? I love Jodi Piccoult and Anita Shreve and can recommend a book called Testimony. You will lose yourself in it and be up reading all night lol
Am so glad you found this place as well. It really helps to be able to share feelings and not be judged. I have judged myself long enough. I don't think I ever really loved myself, but I am working on that and step 1 is to deal with my alcohol problem.
I am a good person, but the drinking always overshadowed that. i want to feel complete and happoy without the crutch of booze.
All the best and here's to happy times ahead.
Sunny xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
Hi Sunny
Yes, I love reading. I'm finding myself reading more this week esp in bed to relax to go to sleep. Bed used to be a place I just went to after enough drink and it's just a blur. now I'm enjoying reading instead. I will have a look at the ones you've recommended. I love Lynda La Plante and Val McDermid and all good thrillers but something lighter may help!
I'm also in my late 30s and drinking has overshadowed my life for so long and I also used it as a crutch. I'm scared in one way as I feel quite nervous without it but also looking forward to being a normal person and having a proper life, not just existing.xx
Yes, I love reading. I'm finding myself reading more this week esp in bed to relax to go to sleep. Bed used to be a place I just went to after enough drink and it's just a blur. now I'm enjoying reading instead. I will have a look at the ones you've recommended. I love Lynda La Plante and Val McDermid and all good thrillers but something lighter may help!
I'm also in my late 30s and drinking has overshadowed my life for so long and I also used it as a crutch. I'm scared in one way as I feel quite nervous without it but also looking forward to being a normal person and having a proper life, not just existing.xx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Originally Posted by justhadenough
Hi Sunny
Yes, I love reading. I'm finding myself reading more this week esp in bed to relax to go to sleep. Bed used to be a place I just went to after enough drink and it's just a blur. now I'm enjoying reading instead. I will have a look at the ones you've recommended. I love Lynda La Plante and Val McDermid and all good thrillers but something lighter may help!
I'm also in my late 30s and drinking has overshadowed my life for so long and I also used it as a crutch. I'm scared in one way as I feel quite nervous without it but also looking forward to being a normal person and having a proper life, not just existing.xx
Yes, I love reading. I'm finding myself reading more this week esp in bed to relax to go to sleep. Bed used to be a place I just went to after enough drink and it's just a blur. now I'm enjoying reading instead. I will have a look at the ones you've recommended. I love Lynda La Plante and Val McDermid and all good thrillers but something lighter may help!
I'm also in my late 30s and drinking has overshadowed my life for so long and I also used it as a crutch. I'm scared in one way as I feel quite nervous without it but also looking forward to being a normal person and having a proper life, not just existing.xx
Returning to the 'old faithful' is never the answer.
Hang in there, justhadenough. We need to break the cycle and then we are on our new way.
I met a friend for coffee a little while ago - what a novel idea, going for coffee, not alcohol - and she filled me in on what happened after I left last night. One of the couples, boozed up, had a huge row and annoyed everyone. Alcohol can bring out the worst in people and I am so glad to be distancing myself from that.
It will get easier for us, i'm positive of that, but for now, we just have to think of ourselves and what we can do to improve our lives and for me that is cutting out booze.
Am going to stick around SR. It is helping me stay focussed
Sunny xxx
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