Can't believe I've done this to myself
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 551
Basically it is different with different people. With my work people it is because that I want to be healthy and don't really think alcohol is good " I say this matter of factly " I know it is bigger for me, but they don't need to know that.
With family I said that I realised it was not good for me in the way it started to make me feel "unhealthy (this could link into your emotional state about anxiety) don't get too ahead of yourself with having to explain it to them. The most important thing is you are making a great life choice and you have the support of your husband.
You will find that you will start to get more confident see things as they really are and be able to handle them all the better as my anxiety which was really strong while drinking disappeared after a month of so. Also just a little off topic, my looks improved. No bloated face, lost now around 20 pounds. It is interesting once your confidence improves, anxiety subsides and you start to look better people start thinking wow. She is really looking healthy. You Never know you may help others to reconsider the healthy choices they are or not making. Hope this helps. Also for those really pushy people you can always say you are on hormonal medication that does not work with alcohol. That was something my Dr suggested if I started to get too pressured by nosey family members. If they want details, look surprised and say I don't want to bore you with my "personal" medical things and change the subject.
This may not seem possible right now as with anxiety and drinking you may be off balanced with your thinking a bit, but as you gain clarity these things come more natural. Hope this helps!
With family I said that I realised it was not good for me in the way it started to make me feel "unhealthy (this could link into your emotional state about anxiety) don't get too ahead of yourself with having to explain it to them. The most important thing is you are making a great life choice and you have the support of your husband.
You will find that you will start to get more confident see things as they really are and be able to handle them all the better as my anxiety which was really strong while drinking disappeared after a month of so. Also just a little off topic, my looks improved. No bloated face, lost now around 20 pounds. It is interesting once your confidence improves, anxiety subsides and you start to look better people start thinking wow. She is really looking healthy. You Never know you may help others to reconsider the healthy choices they are or not making. Hope this helps. Also for those really pushy people you can always say you are on hormonal medication that does not work with alcohol. That was something my Dr suggested if I started to get too pressured by nosey family members. If they want details, look surprised and say I don't want to bore you with my "personal" medical things and change the subject.
This may not seem possible right now as with anxiety and drinking you may be off balanced with your thinking a bit, but as you gain clarity these things come more natural. Hope this helps!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 462
Thank you, that helps a lot
I just know that my Mum and Sister in particular are going to be biting at the bit for a bit of 'family gossip' Basically, anything they can be ashamed of and disgusted with works well with them.
They didn't support my Dad, why would they support me?
I just know that my Mum and Sister in particular are going to be biting at the bit for a bit of 'family gossip' Basically, anything they can be ashamed of and disgusted with works well with them.
They didn't support my Dad, why would they support me?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 551
I know! I have a few of them in my family, but the best thing you can do is get well and look great and that will speak volumes, let them then gossip about how great you are and look. I know it may not feel like it now but this choice can end up being a really positive experience, it has for me. Both emotionally and physically!
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
It really does help to have an answer prepared ahead of time. I like to be honest, but I found that I could get the message across without giving too much information.
For me, it works to say "I decided to quit because I was looking forward to a drink too much." Or "I enjoyed drinking at one time, but didn't like the way I felt the next day." Or "I found that drinking just slows me down and I'm getting too old for that stuff."
Whatever you feel comfortable with is the way to go..... It took me several weeks before I had enough confidence to even say I had quit.
For me, it works to say "I decided to quit because I was looking forward to a drink too much." Or "I enjoyed drinking at one time, but didn't like the way I felt the next day." Or "I found that drinking just slows me down and I'm getting too old for that stuff."
Whatever you feel comfortable with is the way to go..... It took me several weeks before I had enough confidence to even say I had quit.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 462
Well. I cancelled my appointment at the Dr's - I think I made it too far in advance and 'over thought'
I didn't go to AA
So I failed....I'm still drinking. I know I HAVE TO STOP, I WANT TO STOP so why aren't I ?
My family are right, I'm useless!
I didn't go to AA
So I failed....I'm still drinking. I know I HAVE TO STOP, I WANT TO STOP so why aren't I ?
My family are right, I'm useless!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: des moines ia
Posts: 362
Here's a bit of philosophical babble for ya
OK, your useless............just think who you could be if you weren't you?
You can and will change you when your ready.
That's not going to happen till you get off the pity pot.
Ron
OK, your useless............just think who you could be if you weren't you?
You can and will change you when your ready.
That's not going to happen till you get off the pity pot.
Ron
Sept 30, 2010
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 1,672
My Dad died aged 55 of alcholism so what have I done for the last 12 years?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I did not read the entire thread but your first line struck me right between the eyes because my Dad died at 62.
The worst thing about it is that I swore I would never drink like him and that is exactly what I did. Followed the same path, but now, I ask myself what is it that "I" really want each and every day.
You need to make it a point to live your life for yourself. Follow your own desires, not your Mother's or sister's. Engage your husband in your sobriety if you want, but in my case, I got myself into my own mess, and I find bigger rewards in being able to climb out from the hole I was living in all by myself.
Yes it can be done. You just need to want it bad enough to do "whatever it takes". Best to you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I did not read the entire thread but your first line struck me right between the eyes because my Dad died at 62.
The worst thing about it is that I swore I would never drink like him and that is exactly what I did. Followed the same path, but now, I ask myself what is it that "I" really want each and every day.
You need to make it a point to live your life for yourself. Follow your own desires, not your Mother's or sister's. Engage your husband in your sobriety if you want, but in my case, I got myself into my own mess, and I find bigger rewards in being able to climb out from the hole I was living in all by myself.
Originally Posted by ttbp 
I HAVE TO STOP, I WANT TO STOP
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 624
Glad you are back. I really would suggest taking the time to read your previous posts and see how you feel when you read them. Has your life improved since then even though you are still drinking? Do you feel differently now?
Make that Doctor's appointment, for as soon as possible, so you don't over think it. I know how scary it is when you realize you have a problem, and you want to do something about it, but something holds you back from setting the wheels in motion. Please don't do what I did and wait for something bad to happen before you reach that moment when you HAVE TO do something. I wasted a long time doing that, and, whilst it was only a matter of a couple of months before me realizing I had an issue with alcohol, it was very quick to head downhill, FAST, causing all sorts of upsets to my marriage, my family, and lastly to myself.
You have your hubby's support, you have the memory of your Dad's downhill slide, and I know you have the potential to knock this on the head. With all of these things to help you, it's time to treat yourself well. Good luck.
Make that Doctor's appointment, for as soon as possible, so you don't over think it. I know how scary it is when you realize you have a problem, and you want to do something about it, but something holds you back from setting the wheels in motion. Please don't do what I did and wait for something bad to happen before you reach that moment when you HAVE TO do something. I wasted a long time doing that, and, whilst it was only a matter of a couple of months before me realizing I had an issue with alcohol, it was very quick to head downhill, FAST, causing all sorts of upsets to my marriage, my family, and lastly to myself.
You have your hubby's support, you have the memory of your Dad's downhill slide, and I know you have the potential to knock this on the head. With all of these things to help you, it's time to treat yourself well. Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
ttbp: So I failed....I'm still drinking. I know I HAVE TO STOP, I WANT TO STOP so why aren't I ?
Recovery is not for people who NEED IT or for people who WANT IT. Recovery is for people who TAKE ACTION and who are willing to WORK FOR IT. Until and unless you WANT IT badly enough to TAKE ACTION (i.e., doctor's appointment to get help with detox, attending AA meetings, asking for help, getting a sponsor, working the steps, etc.) you will not recover. If you keep drinking, I can almost guarantee there will come a point when you will be willing to do anything to find a solution and recover.
Susan
Recovery is not for people who NEED IT or for people who WANT IT. Recovery is for people who TAKE ACTION and who are willing to WORK FOR IT. Until and unless you WANT IT badly enough to TAKE ACTION (i.e., doctor's appointment to get help with detox, attending AA meetings, asking for help, getting a sponsor, working the steps, etc.) you will not recover. If you keep drinking, I can almost guarantee there will come a point when you will be willing to do anything to find a solution and recover.
Susan
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 462
Originally Posted by ronf
Here's a bit of philosophical babble for ya
OK, your useless............just think who you could be if you weren't you?
You can and will change you when your ready.
That's not going to happen till you get off the pity pot.
Ron
OK, your useless............just think who you could be if you weren't you?
You can and will change you when your ready.
That's not going to happen till you get off the pity pot.
Ron
I'm not sure I understand, are you saying I've come here looking for pity? I haven't at all, I am just a bit lost.
Yes, I want understanding, is that so wrong?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
TTBP, if you have issues with anxiety/depression the alcohol is only making that worse. Alcohol causes a brief period of sedation but as soon as it wears off your brain goes into a state of hypervigilance which throws the anxiety into overdrive.
Talking to a Doctor about all of these issues is nothing to ashamed of. Why would you continue using something that's making you feel worse?
Talking to a Doctor about all of these issues is nothing to ashamed of. Why would you continue using something that's making you feel worse?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 551
Hi Ttbp, I wrote earlier on your thread, I am glad you are still coming back and posting. i know for me I had to be really ready. I was feeling anguish and I needed it to stop. I am so glad I gave myself the chance to see how it is sober, I would never have known how good it could be. I am now on 5 months. I hope you can take the steps, I am a bit scared of drs, but realised they were my best bet for helping me, and I am glad I was brave. My thoughts are with you. thinking of you and will keep reading how you are going.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
ttbp,
Of course you are frightened. Most of us were frightened when we realized we needed to face life without our "best friend" alcohol. [Really alcohol was our worst enemy, we just didn't understand that until the consequences began piling up and we began to lose our very selves to the bottle.]
I don't know how much you are drinking. But alcohol withdrawal is a serious matter. It can be life threatening. My uncle nearly died during alcohol withdrawal/DTs and he had excellent medical care. This is nothing to play with. I would rather have "it" on my medical record and be safe and healthy thru detox than risk stroke, seizure, death, etc.
There is no shame in talking to your doctor about your drinking, anxiety, and depression. Doctors deal with these issues every day. I seriously doubt he or she would be shocked or surprised. What that conversation would allow is for you to get medical treatment, lab work, appropriate prescription medication and referrals if necessary.
The only shame I see here is if you choose to continue drinking rather than get the help you need from your doctor and from a recovery program such as AA.
Susan
Of course you are frightened. Most of us were frightened when we realized we needed to face life without our "best friend" alcohol. [Really alcohol was our worst enemy, we just didn't understand that until the consequences began piling up and we began to lose our very selves to the bottle.]
I don't know how much you are drinking. But alcohol withdrawal is a serious matter. It can be life threatening. My uncle nearly died during alcohol withdrawal/DTs and he had excellent medical care. This is nothing to play with. I would rather have "it" on my medical record and be safe and healthy thru detox than risk stroke, seizure, death, etc.
There is no shame in talking to your doctor about your drinking, anxiety, and depression. Doctors deal with these issues every day. I seriously doubt he or she would be shocked or surprised. What that conversation would allow is for you to get medical treatment, lab work, appropriate prescription medication and referrals if necessary.
The only shame I see here is if you choose to continue drinking rather than get the help you need from your doctor and from a recovery program such as AA.
Susan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 462
I guess my worry is that my family could get to my medical records. My Mum and my Sister....
If I tell the Dr's they're not to know, can they break that? Can my Mum and my sister get to my medical records? Ever? I just don't want that
If I tell the Dr's they're not to know, can they break that? Can my Mum and my sister get to my medical records? Ever? I just don't want that
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 551
The simple answer is No they would not have access to your records. You can even tell your Dr how private you are and ask for his assurance. Legally the Dr is not allowed. I think that when we are drinking things get blurred our reasoning etc.
I promise if you make the step you will start to get clear thinking. Clarity. I so feel for you. I think back 5 months ago and I was on treadmill, round and round. You have the power to do this, I know it is just words, but life can be wonderful. Give yourself the chance to find out, you are worth it.
I promise if you make the step you will start to get clear thinking. Clarity. I so feel for you. I think back 5 months ago and I was on treadmill, round and round. You have the power to do this, I know it is just words, but life can be wonderful. Give yourself the chance to find out, you are worth it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
ttbp,
You are not a minor (under age 18), are you? If not, your mother and sister have no right to your medical records. You have not executed a durable power of attorney for health care naming your mother or sister as designee, have you? If not, your mother and sister have no right to your medical records.
Doctors, hospitals and other health care providers are under strict privacy laws. Ask your doctor's office for a copy of their HIPAA notice (privacy notice). That document lists the circumstances under which medical records can be released. For example, for billing purposes, for defense of a medical malpractice claim, for court order, etc.
The short answer to your question is: No, your sister and your mother have no right to your medical records. Unless you tell someone (family, friends, employer, neighbors, etc.) about your doctor's visits, diagnosis, treatment, follow-up, etc., that information is between you and your health care provider.
Susan
You are not a minor (under age 18), are you? If not, your mother and sister have no right to your medical records. You have not executed a durable power of attorney for health care naming your mother or sister as designee, have you? If not, your mother and sister have no right to your medical records.
Doctors, hospitals and other health care providers are under strict privacy laws. Ask your doctor's office for a copy of their HIPAA notice (privacy notice). That document lists the circumstances under which medical records can be released. For example, for billing purposes, for defense of a medical malpractice claim, for court order, etc.
The short answer to your question is: No, your sister and your mother have no right to your medical records. Unless you tell someone (family, friends, employer, neighbors, etc.) about your doctor's visits, diagnosis, treatment, follow-up, etc., that information is between you and your health care provider.
Susan
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: des moines ia
Posts: 362
Originally Posted by ttbp
Sorry Ron, I know you're trying to help but the pity pot bit struck a chord.
I'm not sure I understand, are you saying I've come here looking for pity? I haven't at all, I am just a bit lost.
Yes, I want understanding, is that so wrong?
I'm not sure I understand, are you saying I've come here looking for pity? I haven't at all, I am just a bit lost.
Yes, I want understanding, is that so wrong?
Ron
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