loveon2legs

Hi everyone..
Well I'm almost 13 months sober and I'm feeling good in my recovery...No urges or cravings to drink....Thank God!! What I'm feeling is that my life should be moving forward faster.....I feel like I should be alot further ahead in certain areas of my life...My business has slowed down and I know that has alot to do with my past actions...not taking care of it...during my drinking days...makes me so mad at myself at times...now that "I'm with it" I feel everything else should magically be in line with that!! My expectations seem to be higher than what I'm achieving right now...and it's hard for me to practice patience when my bank account doesn't look all that good!!! So I'm feeling abit frustrated..and questioning myself ALOT..and kicking myself in the butt for all those damn wasted days drinking......

CarolD

I don't know about your area ...but near Atlanta USA
the economy is still a mess

Perhaps a new different business would be in order?
A part time job?

Hopeing you can work something out that benefits you...

recoverywfaith

Can definetly relate...as I have been laid of for 7 mos. and currently have a huge amount of .06 cents in my name, my sobriety, food, etc. and am beginning to change me and my attitudes by being in AA and asking God to help me in everything I do. This has been a time of reflect to see all of my wrong actions and to grow spirtually. Can not say it has been easy (kicking myself for sure) but it has brought me to surrendering in the steps.

BullDog777

i know how you feel. i was a very successful artist before i destroyed my career and after i hit about a year of sobriety, i began getting SUPER restless to get back into the game. just read my blog.....it's all there.

for me, the alcohol and cravings and such were no longer really an "issue". i didn't crave it anymore, i rarely thought about it, i just wanted to move on like a "normal" person. however, my will to repair the past was far greater than my ability to make it so in a short order.

I realized i had to be patient and just try to do a little better everyday. I didn't destroy my career overnight and i'm not going to get it back overnight....and while that sucks, it's going to make me appreciate my life and what my career brings not only to me but my family that much more....so hang in there.


congrats on the long term sobriety.

rws177

My sponsor tells me that death, relationships and finances are the biggest reasons people relapse. I’m glad that you are not having any cravings to drink. All those reasons give me cravings at 15 months sober which scares me but also lets me know I am not "fixed" nor will I ever be free of my disease. However I just know that drinking would not help me in future relationships, help my family in times of grieving, or make my bank account grow any bigger.

I think that it is great you have high goals but don’t put too much pressure on yourself

wes1

My business is down as well, but have started to see glimmers of hope during the last 60 days. Hang in there, be disciplined in your day to day work, be positive and you'll get a few wins in no time.

AmericanGirl

L, I'm sorry to see you're upset. I think you hit on something good when you mentioned expectations. We can only control what kind of jobs we have or what kind of money we make to a certain extent, and that's only in the long haul . . . so maybe the best thing to do is concentrate on long term goals but also on the art of accepting what the situation is now, and seeing what small things are possible now instead of looking at big picture stuff (that's where I get frustrated, at least, expecting things to get better faster than they do).

Hope you feel better soon.

Boleo

ALL EXPECTATIONS, good and bad, are seeds for resentment. Do the best you can. Be all you can be. Then detach from the outcome. Just like;

Buddhist ZaZen
Taoist Pu
Hindu Nishkam Kharma
Christian Cloud of Unknowing

Antiderivative

Besides beating yourself up over your situation, what positive actions are you doing to improve your situation? Sulking in the "could of's and should of's" of life is not an appropriate means of accomplishing your goals. My life "could of and should of" been different and better, but it is not. It is what it is and if I want to improve it, then I need to do something about it U]today[/U].

What actions are you taking today to improve your lot?

Remember, many of life's rewards are not always directly in our control. They don't always happen on our time or on our terms. The reward system of life is much different than the reward system of drinking (if you want to call drinking a reward).

Jfanagle

If you are involved with AA you may want to reflect on the "promises" and note that one of them is:
"No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us." -The Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

Note that it says "fear" of economic insecurity will leave us, not economic insecurity. That comes and goes just like prosperity. Good times come to "civilians" as well as us alkies. Bad times as well are no respecter of alcohol use. I have always taken solace in the fact that whether it be good times or bad, I am better prepared to do my BEST when not drunk. I have been on top and right now am much closer to the bottom of the economic ladder than a few years ago and all this has occurred while I have been sober these past years.

I sympathize with you, many a time I wanted to call "someone" and complain that "hey, I am sober so what's the deal? The deal is apparently that life is a funny old dog sometimes and we just have to do our best. My best is done sober!

Just my thoughts. God Bless and keep your chin up.

Jon

stugotz

Making plans - Good
Expectations - Bad

It gets better every day. Just sayin...

loveon2legs

Thanks so much everyone....I realize its my ego that wants things to happen now...and by living the one day at a time and really surrending to where I am is where I am supposed to be is something I need to be doing... Let go...and let God....and trust things will work out.....

Big Hugs everyone!!

LaFemme

Thanks for the very timely post LO2Ls....I have been dealing with the same thing lately.

I know when I was drinking I always told myself if I could just quit everything would right itself in the turmoil of my life. I was also completely freaked out that if I quit and things didn't improve it would be catastrophic for me.

Most of the time I have been surprisingly ok with the way life is unfolding sober, but every once in awhile I also get hung up on the concept of things should be happening faster!!!!

My Life Coach told me I need to take some time to appreciate how far I've come and where I am instead of constantly working on change.

Being grateful in the moment is a hard skill for me to learn...I'd rather someone give me a ten page list of things to do!!!!