ReadyAndAble

Someday never comes, Pink. If you wait for someday, that will be the day you die. I'm sorry, but it's true. And that adorable baby of yours will be left to wonder why his mother decided she'd rather drink than spend a lifetime loving him.

You've received the best advice in the world, from people who know exactly what you're going through. I hope for your sake, and also the sake of your children, that you stop waiting for someday.

SSIL75

This is your script. Every time. You HAVE to do something different if you want a different outcome.

SoberNVa

Might want to enjoy that baby smiling at you while you can. I have a hunch your husband is not going to stand for it for much longer and will take those kids and leave you to your drinking. Doesnt sound to me like you are willing to do whatever it takes to get help. I hope you do get help. I really do.But until you give up the excuses and the rationalizions for continuing,nothing will change. I wish you well.

Shevrard

I am only 2 weeks sober and I, too, am a stay-at-home mom with a baby. My daughter is 19 months old. I never intended to get so drunk I couldn't take care of her but it has happened more than once. I think to myself now, what would I have done if she started choking while I was drunk? Chances are I wouldn't be able to save her. We live in a rural area. By the time an ambulance could get here she would have died. Thoughts like that make me realize I cannot let alcohol continue to rule my life and endanger not only myself but my precious baby. It wasn't until these last few days that I even made the decision to come clean to my husband about ALL my substance abuse. Not just alcohol. It is very scary but the alternative is much scarier.

Reset

After 20+ years of being unhappy, one day I decided that I had had enough and went to a psychologist. "I just want to be happy" is exactly what I told her.

She told me that if the alcohol wasn't outright causing the depression, it was probably exacerbating it. And she would be unable to help me unless we could remove that potential roadblock. That was not what I wanted to hear but ultimately my desire to be happy overrode my desire to drink bourbon and gin.

I'm not trying to judge you; in fact I get where you're coming from because I put off the decision to be happy for years. But I think you have to decide what is more important and act accordingly. If you really want to work toward being happy, it's possible.

And once you make that decision, you'll probably find there are all kinds of unexpected and pleasant side effects.

I hope that helps.

Nikkle

Tomorrow night: Tuesday, January 18th at 6 PM
Celebrate Recovery
1005 N 28th Avenue

A program called Celebrate Recovery meets Tuesday nights at the Wausau Campus at 6:00 p.m. for people who have hurts, habits and hang-ups. This program is not only for people who have alcohol addictions, but for those who have problems with such issues as anger, co-dependency, eating disorders, gambling, drugs and the like. If you have any questions, call Pastor Dave Mahler at 715-842-5683 and leave your name and phone number and you will be contacted.

Reset

I can't tell if you really want advice, but I'm going to offer this anyway.

When my first son was growing up I told myself many times that I was going to cut back or give up drinking. It didn't happen until he was almost 14. The time goes way faster than you'll ever imagine.

Now we don't have that relationship I was so hopeful we'd have when he was a baby. And it's too late. I'm not an overly emotional guy but thinking about it makes me want to cry. It's so sad, and it's all my fault.

Don't wait for "some day."

Peter G

This is the last thing I'll say to you Pink, because it seems like you have stopped listening. But in case you are still reading...

You are not disappointing me, and likely no one else here. Disappointment is what people who are NOT alcoholics feel when us alcoholics screw up. The people here and myself know better. Mad at you? I'd have to be mad at myself to be mad at you sweetheart. No one here is mad at you. You are only showing us the symptoms of a disease we all have in common. But it is frustrating when you're not taking the advice of people who have been where you are - especially when you asked for the advice. Which, again, is just another symptom of the insidious disease we have in common; alcoholism. Believe me, we get it.

No one is judging you here, the hyper concern is only because there are children involved, lives that are entirely dependent on your ability to make sound judgments. When a person gets drunk, most of us here are intimately aware that the ability to make sound judgments is greatly and progressively diminished - eventually destroyed - in spite of the pre-defined rules and well meaning intentions of our own alcoholic mind. In other words, we know exactly where you're heading, whether you want to believe us or not. We get you; we know the place inside your head, heart and soul that you are coming from, because we have lived there for years ourselves.

BUT, this forum is not a pity party, some of us are genuine, board certified, hopeless alcoholics. We've taken to the internal lies necessary for drinking and gone far beyond logic - straight into insanity, sometimes with dire and tragic results. So not a lot of us can pipe in to say things like "oh you poor dear", or "I feel bad for you" when we know the hell that might lay in store for you and your kids. If mollycoddling is what you were hoping to hear then I pray for you, because you've a long way to go through this dark night. Here you will find only the truth about your issue, a truth that experience has shown us. This truth should never be candy coated when lives are potentially at stake.

After reading this thread, all I want is for you to NOT have to experience the immense pain and suffering I've faced and caused loved ones as a result of believing the same lies you are currently telling yourself. Just heed the words and but for one brief moment now, right now, say to yourself, "I will set aside my obsession for alcohol, my need to numb my pain, my need to feel in control, just long enough to get to an AA meeting or a treatment center" and see how it goes.

Once you are pointed in the right direction it only takes for you to put one foot in front of the other. We can't walk the journey for you, that is action only you can take. Do it. What have you got to lose? You can always have a few drinks once you're back home, yes?

keithj

Just in case you're still listening, pinkfirefly.
Maybe it was easy for 'them' to quit. Maybe they just got fed up one day and decided to quit and that was that. Or maybe it was an insane amount of work and determination. It doesn't matter, really.

All that matters right now is, how easy is it for you to quit? I read a lot in this thread that tells me people are describing a reaction to alcohol that is very different from what I know and what you describe. What I hear is, "Why don't you just shape up and see the harm you're causing!" But that never worked for me. I was only vaguely aware of the harm, and that sure couldn't get me to stop. And even when I wanted to stop, would have given anything to do so, I still couldn't. Everyday, saying I wouldn't drink that day, and still drinking. The panic and fear of life itself was too much for me. For me, it was impossible to quit. Just like you, I would make that promise over and over and over. And I would fail to keep it. And things didn't get better just by 'waking up' and deciding to put my mind to it.

How hard is it to quit? Impossible. It would have taken a miracle for me to quit drinking. But here I am, with many years of happy, contented sobriety. The damage I did to my son while drinking has healed, and we've enjoyed a close relationship for a long time.

This is available for anyone who earnestly seeks it, pinkfirefly. There is work involved for sure, and there is digesting some very uncomfortable truths about myself. There is also a lot more to it than just sincerely wanting to quit. You're not crazy to reject such notions, because your very own experience tells you otherwise. Go with that. It's impossible to stop drinking. And then we can show you how to do the impossible.

Dee74

Several posts have been removed under rule 4.

Please remember that as members here, we all agree to abide by the rules and policies of this board.

D

CarolD

Lot's of information and shareing here for Pink to think about.

As she is taking a break from SR....this thread is closed.
Thanks Everyone...
Let's go find another struggleing alcoholic to share with.