Boleo

There are even more YETs to look forward to;

I have not been fired YET
I have not been in jail YET
I have not gotten a DUI YET
I have not lost my family YET
I have not been hospitalized YET
I have not been Institutionalized YET
I have not died from this disease YET

Pboy

If I realize this why is quiting so difficult?

Philly

IMO it is just your alcoholic voice telling you that you can not possibly be an alcoholic because none of these things have happened to you. That same voice is the one that tells you even though it is 2:00am in the morning that you will be fine in the morning for work so you might as well have another.

The problem is it takes some amount of sober time before you can tell yourself that it is the alcoholic voice. I am sober 15 months and because I have never tried to control my drinking it tells me I probably could control it. It tries to tell me that because this is my first time quitting and I have abstained for 15 months I must not truly be an alcoholic. The way I combat that is I really don't just want 1 glass of wine so why would I try to have that. I listen to everyone and I believe that I am no different than every one else in the free world who has tried over and over again.

Good luck and keep posting.

smacked

Not sure, but I hope you don't start filling up that list of "Yet"s from the bottom up before you realize the severity of what you're up against.

I hope you get the help you need.

mirage

:ghug3

Boleo

"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink." (page 24)

- All quotes from Alcoholics Anonymous 1st Edition -

Bamboozle

Being addicted is why it's so hard to quit.

crzylilmndfreak

thats what i would like to figure out...we are looking death right in the face yet still wanting "one more chance" to get drunk/high...
completely baffles me

Pboy

What baffles me is I drank for nearly 3 decades without any significant consequences, now in the last 2-3 years it usually gets out of hand when I drink.

Ago

We call that "crossing the invisible line"

it only gets worse from here on out should you continue to drink

this is not negotiable

Untoxicated

Well, I can only tell you from my experience it's because...

1. I was change averse.
2. I wouldn't change unless the pain of changing was less than the pain of not changing.
3. Consequences had nothing to do with my decision to change (all the yets listed had no impact on my decision to quit).
4. Forming new habits required work, determination, patience, and humility - all of which I didn't have or desire.
5. I was a salesman (to myself) selling ideas to a starving consumer (myself)...I wanted to believe I could drink normally or even just a little bit abnormally.
6. I loved alcohol and I still do, but that's not unlike loving someone that has died. You can still love them you just can't have them in your life anymore.
7. I battled the existence of God, until I was completely ready to accept that possibility...and I quickly found out it was much easier to believe in God, even if He doesn't exist than to constantly question His existance and worry about going to my grave, "wrong." (I have to chuckle at how funny and egotiscal I was, I had to be right to my grave - the very place being right wouldn't matter if I were right, but would matter tremendously if I were wrong - ah the grand plan is something).

At 33 years old, I'm glad I don't have to travel the path of "if I only drink beer, etc" it's okay...and I'm hopeful you will be too.

I hope you find peace soon, I'm just starting to find peace myself.

Take care.

Bamboozle

Knowing this is one half...the other is acceptance.

I had to accept that if I continued my life would stay miserable and my health would decline much faster than it should.

With this acceptance comes a choice: quit or don't quit. I quit. I hope to stay 'quit'.




In quitting drinking I thought I was giving up everything...I was actually only giving up drinking. Now I'm getting back so many more things in exchange for the one thing I gave up. I'm getting my health back...I'm getting my sanity back...I'm making a new life for myself. I have hope now.

Pboy

I also suffer from anxiety/insomina.

It's amazing after only 8 days on the wagon both conditions improved.

That should be motivation in itself.

CarolD

Untoxicated.....
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us
Welcome to SR and our Alcoholism Forum

johnstacey45

Buying beer (later in my life of course) would be pointless because I'd simply drink eight or nine cans a night and then the cans would pile up. Bottles of hard alcohol such as Bacardi, Jim Beam, or Seagram's gin are more economical for that purpose. I also don't think moderation is possible for me. I'll simply drink what I have on hand until blackout or until I happen to run out, so I can't fathom how trying to regulate intake would work for most alcoholics.

Pboy

Strike 3

a swing and a miss

another missed day at work

dsc

Yikes man.

It's not even my skin and you're making me nervous with this many days of work missed..

Strike 3 -- out?

Pboy

I'm don't know the consequences yet, but it's not good and it can't continue indefinitely.

Payton

A non-alcoholic doesn't have to make bargains and create tons of elaborate plans and schemes in order to "control" and continue their consumption of alcohol. It doesn't even occur to them. This kind of game-playing with yourself is a huge sign, IMHO.

I have made so many bargains and schedules and plans with myself on how I could keep drinking. Nothing ever worked. Looking back at them now, it's almost laughable.

Interesting that you said you would really only miss the social aspect, but then I see you bargaining in a later post - wouldn't just bringing wine home and drinking by yourself be better than shots in a bar? That is revealing - it appears that drinking is really about drinking, about attachment and reliance on this substance, not about "friends." If that WAS true at some point, then this looks like a sign of progression of dependence.

Did you call your EAP?

Pboy

No, it's like a pushing the envelope with my employer.

Guess I won't act accordingly until my backs against the wall or it's too late.

Not sure what's wrong with me.