Bamboozle

I remember.

I still struggle with this...but as more time goes by this is less of an issue. I'm still alone, but I was a bit of a loner when I drank. I don't plan on staying lonely forever...I'm working on my self-esteem. I almost feel like I have a blank slate. These things take time.

My idea of moderation was to leave the last town I was living in (by myself) and move back home to live with my parents. I was sure that I wouldn't drink like I did when I went home. Naw...I just hid the bottles where I could.

Welcome to SR, Pboy.

ElegantlyWasted

Good luck; it would not work for me. Keep us updated on your Nobel experiment!!

laurie6781

(((((PBoy)))))

I read your original post, all the responses and your responses to the responses so far.

All I can say is:

Been there, done that and then some, Got the T-Shirt and ............. IT DIDN'T WORK.

Please let us know how it works for you, and if it doesn't, well ......................... pull up your keyboard and join us in recovery, we'll be here and we have a chair for you.

Love and hugs,

allport

Sorry but I am with everyone else it won't work.

It may work physically for a little while (hey I drank last night and didn't get wasted) but it won't take away that feeling (you know which one I mean).

You sound determined to try it so I can only wish you luck.

And also I can't tell you that once you are sober you will be able to go out there and enjoy a great sober social life because it hasn't happened like that for me.

I am still alone and lonely, joining clubs and the like seems as alien to me as climbing mountains.

But (and this is important) I can now see a time when it won't be so frightening and in the meantime I can keep myself amused and busy.

Being bored and lonely is not the worst thing that can happen to you.

stone

Pboy, whether somone is quoting the book Alcoholics Anonymous or not, everything you say sounds like classic alcoholism to me...I know because I think like that too.

I am not about to call you an alkie, only you can do that for real. But when a person has to think about swapping drinks, controlling intake in some way, they surely have a problem? When they come to a recovery site and ask questions they have an idea something is wrong.

You might be able to control it enough to enjoy it, you might not. That is the dilemma of all who think they have a problem, I guess some find control and those who don't have to give up and just abstain.


There is much about AA that annoys me (and I am a member!) but...

"Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self- deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about- face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!"

..that quote is powerful in it's insight.

barb dwyer

amazing how even with the evidential personal experience right in front of people ...

CarolD posted one time:
Everyone builds their castles in the air...
but only an alcoholic will try to move in!

good luck to ya!

crzylilmndfreak

i remember when i first started going to AA i thought wow, i am not really as bad off as THESE people...now, 5 yrs later, and alot of drinking/quitting/drinking, i sit in my AA meetings and think wow, i am probably WORSE off than most of these people!!!
It was down to the alcohol or my family at the final end, and i love my kids and husband too much, and would not want to go on without them...so at first it felt rather "forced" for me to quit, but looking back at all the absolute horrible things i have done, at the hand of the drink, even if something happend and God forbid, i lose my family somehow, i'de like to think i would not go back to the alcohol, i would like to say i am 100% sure i would not, because i do not ever want to be in any of those situations ever again, and I ,at only 18 mo. sober, will and probably will allways take it "one day at a time" it is not easy, just last night i had a dream that i was drinking a beer...not just any beer, in my dream it was some foreign style beer that was the absolute best tasting i have ever had,...and i woke up thinking s*** !! i have to start all over again! it was very real, im sure some here can relate, but yea, it sucks to not be able to drink like a "normal" person, and i wish there were ways of getting around those incidences, ie. coming home bloody, not knowing apparently just done some unspeakable acts, and fallen down on my face,etc...you get the picture,...but i cant,.. no matter how many ways i have tried to stop, and ive tried many, can i drink just one or two drinks, no way...but good luck to you, im sure you will learn more and more as time goes by

tyler

Pboy, you gotta do what is right for you. Maybe moderation will work, perhaps not. You seem pretty set on it, so give it a shot. Just make sure you are willing to deal with whatever consequences (if any) may arise if it doesn't work. We'll be here for you either way. Take care.

tomvlll

I can relate to the effort in trying moderation plans.
There isn't a one I didn't try.
I really had a deathly fear of giving up drinking altogether.
No drinking at Christmas parties? Summer picnics? Super Bowl? Unh uh, no way no how.

What I CAN"T relate to is having any success at moderation.

So I gave up, went to AA, and voila, all that fear of not being able to drink just disappeared.

2ndGen

There is one advantage of going with light drinks - it is harder to overdose/blackout. Other than that it's the same s**t. 3 bottles of 13.5% wine is same as 750ml vodka. Give it a shot, and count your shots.

Peak of BAC is half hour after consumption, and then it gradually goes down to zero during next hour. Count number of beers, multiply by 1.5 and this is time that it'll take to sober up counting from mid point of drink session. Moderation means staying under your limit, which is easier said than done.

biravatch65

From my experience, those 'negatives' of beer and wine were never enough to stop me. I would essentially drink no matter what. If I were too full from beer, I just wouldn't eat.

Something to ask yourself is why is alcohol in any form so important to you knowing full well that beer and wine can become equally as problematic for you at some point?

joedris

Why do you feel you need a moderation plan? Normal people dont think that way. They don't consider that they need to moderate or control their drinking because they don't have a drinking problem. If you feel that such a plan is needed then perhaps you should take a deep, honest look at your drinking before bothering with some "ingeneous" plan to solve your problem.

towhere

Wow this thread is still going. One of my best friends is a recovered alcoholic and trust me he was in bad shape. At this point, he can easily have 3-4 beers or some wine with friends once every 2 weeks or so.

That said, he did stay sober for 1 year and in that time completely changed his life, the people around him, priorities etc. That is the hard part, and takes an extremely strong will. Many can't do it yes, but it's not impossible.

I'm not saying to jump from alcoholism to moderation either. You still have to take that first step, get sober, and evaluate your life and what's important. At that point you may not want to drink anyway. Good luck to you pboy.

OceanBound

I'd call it an obsession.

Good luck with the experiment! And I mean it sincerely but odds are definitely against you.
OB

Ago

recovered alcoholics can't/don't drink, it's a non sequiter, or an oxymoron like Military Intelligence, recovered heavy or hard drinkers can however

towhere

You know I was going to argue, but you are right. Definition of alcoholism involves drinking alone. He never did that.. life was one big party. Wake, drink, throw up, drink some more, black out, cycle repeats. Despite the damage to his loved ones and body over the years (lots of blood loss even) he continued.

I still consider that behavior to be indicative of alcoholism but no matter, he went to AA, filled whatever void was in is life and became a better person.

Thanks for making your point, appreciated and understood.

I like "Planned Surprise"

Pboy

I'm not sure that alcohol per se is that important to me. As I stated in an earlier thread, "I rarely buy alcohol outside of a bar environment, and was giving gifts of alcohol that sat in my house unopened for years".

It's the social circles I developed over time that I think I'll miss the most.

NewMe11109

Pboy -

Make your moderation plan.

Try it and be honest with yourself as to how you do.

If it works, I am thrilled for you.

If not, we are here for you. Only you can decide. Good luck!

xge910

yo dude,

my $0.02 for what it is worth.....

Changing what you drink is rather pointless. Be it beer or bourbon,
it is a drug delivery system. I will grant you that beer will make one
feel full, but lets not bulls%^& each other, ya drink for the buzz. Now
I will also concede that (IMHO) sparkling drinks (beer, champagne or
cocktail made with a carbonated beverage) may have more of an initial
kick. However you are still doing a D R U G. I sort of look at it like this.
With speed or cocaine, you can snort it, smoke or shoot it, but no matter
how you do it, you are still doing the drug. Some folks even take there
alcohol from the other end(enemas).

Now my self and some other people here talk about moderation
(tip-o-the-hat to Mr. Sikkisirus Rockstar). While others have found
that the only way to control is by not drinking at all. To each her/his
own way. But changing what you drink is not dealing with the
underlining issues, patterns, habits and behaviors in your drug use.

For me, well moderation seems to be working... so far....., then again
I was not as far "down the road" as a lot of people. For me I began
to see certain patterns, habits and behaviors in my drinking that worried
me. I was drinking W A Y to much and to often. Sort of snuck up on
me. Saw I needed to change what I was doing. I stopped for a bit, about
3-4 weeks this past spring. Dealt with a bit of detox, no sleep, shaky
hands, feeling the need to have a drink, but after 4-5 days I got past it.

Now days i am much more proactive and careful about my drinking.
Some of the changes I have made are: Not sitting home alone drinking.
The problem with drinking alone is you do not have that frame of
reference that you have when in the company of others (ie: you do not
notice how drunk you are.). Not drinking every day, and this is one that
took me a bit to deal with, as it seems like it is almost ok to go home at
the end of a day and have a drink, and it is, SOMETIMES, but not every
blinking day!

For me, changing my drinking was a bit like going on a diet. For a diet to
be successful one must change their eating patterns, habits and behaviors.
Alcohol is also a food as well as a drug, some people find that ice cream is
almost like a drug. When one is on a diet they need to cut out some foods
for a while, too many potato chips(beer) or too much ice cream makes (hard
liqueur) make ya fat. Ya got cut it out for a bit till you get the weight under
control. Does this mean you can never eat chips or ice cream ever again?,
perhaps for some.

Last point is, now that I do not drink as much or has often, when I do drink
I get more of a buzz from a L O T less. One or two drinks, and I have all
the buzz I want or need.

Your strange net pal
Belinda!

Pboy

Thanks for your reply, Belinda

My typical over indulgence usually goes like this.

I go to one of a few neighborhood bars with the intent of having a few cocktails after work. I typically get involved in conversation with someone I know. A few cocktails turn into more plus shots often resulting in more frequency of me staying out all night drinking and missing work. BTW, many bars in N.O. never close.

In contrast, to consider the "drink only at home" moderation theory ... no matter what alcohol beverage I'd buy it would be likely I would consume the entire bottle. I'm not suggesting that this qualifies as moderate drinking, but drinking a bottle of wine (5 or 6 glasses) over the course of an evening would be significantly less detrimental than the bar scenario I mentioned above.

Some would say ... well then you'd may go to the store and purchase more wine, but that's not been the case to date.