My moderation plan ...
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 83
My plan may very well not work.
As I stated in an earlier thread, I quit without a drop of any sort last year for 100 days effortlessly. The only thing I missed was he social aspect of meeting people in a social environment.
I'm single and work in a cubicle all day. I don't think it would serve me to spend all of my off time alone in my apartment.
I heard suggestions like joining a book club, or taking up walking/running to fill the void, but once daylight savings time lapses I'm not sure if many suggestions are viable.
I know the odds are against a "moderation plan" but I'm certainly doomed for failure if there's no social component in my life.
As I stated in an earlier thread, I quit without a drop of any sort last year for 100 days effortlessly. The only thing I missed was he social aspect of meeting people in a social environment.
I'm single and work in a cubicle all day. I don't think it would serve me to spend all of my off time alone in my apartment.
I heard suggestions like joining a book club, or taking up walking/running to fill the void, but once daylight savings time lapses I'm not sure if many suggestions are viable.
I know the odds are against a "moderation plan" but I'm certainly doomed for failure if there's no social component in my life.
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: north yorkshire, england
Posts: 1,891
I have no idea if this idea of swapping drinks has ever worked (I kind of doubt it buy you never know).
What happened to me when I switched the types of drinks I drank was simply that once I had a mild buzz going (and my inhibitions were fading) I went back to my original choice, it seemed like a good idea at the time, as these things generally do.
My point is that once you are slightly drunk you do not have what it takes to stick to sober decisions, and as for not being able to down a 12 pack you will be amazed how quickly that will change (and look forward to piling on the weight as well), all in all its a pretty stupid plan, but I'm sure most of us have given it a few tries.
I hope that nothing terrible happens to while you are trying this experiment.
What happened to me when I switched the types of drinks I drank was simply that once I had a mild buzz going (and my inhibitions were fading) I went back to my original choice, it seemed like a good idea at the time, as these things generally do.
My point is that once you are slightly drunk you do not have what it takes to stick to sober decisions, and as for not being able to down a 12 pack you will be amazed how quickly that will change (and look forward to piling on the weight as well), all in all its a pretty stupid plan, but I'm sure most of us have given it a few tries.
I hope that nothing terrible happens to while you are trying this experiment.
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Posts: 83
Originally Posted by allport 
My point is that once you are slightly drunk you do not have what it takes to stick to sober decisions
jimbo
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: london berks England
Posts: 426
[QUOTE=Pboy;2410125]My plan may very well not work.
As I stated in an earlier thread, I quit without a drop of any sort last year for 100 days effortlessly. The only thing I missed was he social aspect of meeting people in a social environment.
my feelings exactly
its the having a laugh i miss more than the drinking by far
i have tried to have a laugh with folk on sr but i dont think some people like that sort of thing
i'm on facebookl though if you want to goof around a bit
jimmy.bowers1
As I stated in an earlier thread, I quit without a drop of any sort last year for 100 days effortlessly. The only thing I missed was he social aspect of meeting people in a social environment.
my feelings exactly
its the having a laugh i miss more than the drinking by far
i have tried to have a laugh with folk on sr but i dont think some people like that sort of thing
i'm on facebookl though if you want to goof around a bit
jimmy.bowers1
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
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Posts: 39,915
There is a world full of people out there who have a very active social life and don't drink. How do you suppose they do that? Maybe it's time you made some friends who don't drink. One doesn't have to sit at home alone just because they don't drink alcohol. If we would spend as much time thinking about how we can have fun without alcohol as we do thinking about how we can fool ourselves that drinking is okay for us, I'm sure we could come up with a lot of good ideas. Millions of people do it everyday.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
I have an extremely active social life, I am very busy having lots of fun most of the time.. and a thought of drinking hasn't popped into my mind for a very long time.
I do remember when I was drinking, how small my world was too. I can't believe I lived that way for so long, fooled into thinking that I was actually having a good time, and that my drinking buddies were actually my friends. Makes me laugh now that I'm not being that foolish anymore.
I also obsessed about my 'ability' to drink just like you are now. Consumed a lot of my time. I'm glad it doesn't any more.. such a waste of my energy. I tried the 'only wine' and 'only beer' thing. When I would drink only wine, I would chug it, it went down faster and because I hated it, it still got me drunk without tasting most of it. Caused me worse blackouts and hangovers than I ever ever had from any other form of alcohol. Beer, well I thought I'd be too full too. Somehow I was able to fit enough to keep getting drunk, or at least drunk enough to think 'eh.. **** it.. lets do a shot'. No thanks!
Like Carol posted.. moderate drinking for men = 2 drinks per day. To me that would be absolutely pointless, because my point was to get intoxicated.
There is also a moderation management program, Google it. Course it's recommended that you be sober for 30 days to start with, and stick to MODERATE drinking amounts. Folks over there might have some advice for you as well.
Good luck with that, we'll be here when you're done
I do remember when I was drinking, how small my world was too. I can't believe I lived that way for so long, fooled into thinking that I was actually having a good time, and that my drinking buddies were actually my friends. Makes me laugh now that I'm not being that foolish anymore.
I also obsessed about my 'ability' to drink just like you are now. Consumed a lot of my time. I'm glad it doesn't any more.. such a waste of my energy. I tried the 'only wine' and 'only beer' thing. When I would drink only wine, I would chug it, it went down faster and because I hated it, it still got me drunk without tasting most of it. Caused me worse blackouts and hangovers than I ever ever had from any other form of alcohol. Beer, well I thought I'd be too full too. Somehow I was able to fit enough to keep getting drunk, or at least drunk enough to think 'eh.. **** it.. lets do a shot'. No thanks!
Like Carol posted.. moderate drinking for men = 2 drinks per day. To me that would be absolutely pointless, because my point was to get intoxicated.
There is also a moderation management program, Google it. Course it's recommended that you be sober for 30 days to start with, and stick to MODERATE drinking amounts. Folks over there might have some advice for you as well.
Good luck with that, we'll be here when you're done
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
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You had mentioned in your other thread how you slept in your car, how part of your problem is being single and bored, and I would infer lonely from what you said about the pub being your social life, think about it for a second, the only woman that is going to find you attractive right now will also sleep in cars, is that what you want?
To meet interesting people I go to interesting places, to meet drunk people I go to bars
except i don't much like hanging out with drunk people any more, I used to think people who didn't drink were boring because they didn't seem to have much to say, I know now that there isn't much to say to drunk people, it wasn't them that was boring, it was me.
So like has been said, keep doing what you are doing, and when you are done doing that and are open to new ideas, look me up. I know how to not drink, get laid, and have fun, and don't sleep in my car.
To meet interesting people I go to interesting places, to meet drunk people I go to bars
except i don't much like hanging out with drunk people any more, I used to think people who didn't drink were boring because they didn't seem to have much to say, I know now that there isn't much to say to drunk people, it wasn't them that was boring, it was me.
So like has been said, keep doing what you are doing, and when you are done doing that and are open to new ideas, look me up. I know how to not drink, get laid, and have fun, and don't sleep in my car.
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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I did get drunk and sleep in my car but that's not a weekly or even monthly occurrence.
I've participated in binge drinking for approx. 3 decades especially on weekends, so forgive me for my hesitance to make a monumental life change without considering options.
I'm VERY confident I can stop drinking as I've already demonstrated it.
My biggest reasons for wanting to quit/curtail drinking are prioritized in this order:
1) concern about continued declining job performance
2) don't want to make a poor judgment and decide to drive (DUI)
3) spend every discretionary penny on drinking ... again I have what I refer to as the "Donald Trump" complex and feel the need to buy everyone drinks when I drink
4) the drama that goes into the bar environment, e.g. fights, etc ...
I'm not trying to be argumentative and I know many here have been through what I'm struggling with, but I'd rather be celebrating with friends/acquaintances on Super Bowl Sunday than alone in my apartment.
I've participated in binge drinking for approx. 3 decades especially on weekends, so forgive me for my hesitance to make a monumental life change without considering options.
I'm VERY confident I can stop drinking as I've already demonstrated it.
My biggest reasons for wanting to quit/curtail drinking are prioritized in this order:
1) concern about continued declining job performance
2) don't want to make a poor judgment and decide to drive (DUI)
3) spend every discretionary penny on drinking ... again I have what I refer to as the "Donald Trump" complex and feel the need to buy everyone drinks when I drink
4) the drama that goes into the bar environment, e.g. fights, etc ...
I'm not trying to be argumentative and I know many here have been through what I'm struggling with, but I'd rather be celebrating with friends/acquaintances on Super Bowl Sunday than alone in my apartment.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Can you quit drinking and stay stopped?
Can you do so and have fun?
PS by the way, I was in NO for the Super Bowl when the Packers played the Patriots, had great seats 10 rows up from the field on the 35 yard line, had a room at the Hyatt but somehow ended up sleeping under the car the night before the game, i tried to break the rental car windows with a paving stone...no luck alas
didn't remember about the room at the Hyatt until the next morning, I had lost my shoes, my money was in the car so had traded my Fire dept badge for drinks, when I slunk into the bar at the Hyatt looking very much like a homeless guy I got a standing ovation
So I get it
Can you do so and have fun?
PS by the way, I was in NO for the Super Bowl when the Packers played the Patriots, had great seats 10 rows up from the field on the 35 yard line, had a room at the Hyatt but somehow ended up sleeping under the car the night before the game, i tried to break the rental car windows with a paving stone...no luck alas
didn't remember about the room at the Hyatt until the next morning, I had lost my shoes, my money was in the car so had traded my Fire dept badge for drinks, when I slunk into the bar at the Hyatt looking very much like a homeless guy I got a standing ovation
So I get it
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
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Can you relate at all to the following passage?
BB 1st ed
It looks suspiciously like
It was hell reading about me in a book that was written before I was born, it was like somebody had been following me around
I will hold you to that, I will give you thirty days, tops, truth is I give you 3 nights of drinking before it all goes out the window
Will you come see us if you are unable to hold to your "ingenious plan"?
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self- deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about- face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums we could increase the list ad infinitum.
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self- deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about- face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums we could increase the list ad infinitum.
It looks suspiciously like
I understand in theory 1 beer = 1 glass of wine = 1 shot of hard alcohol, but not being a particular fan of wine or having a demonstrated history of abusing beer (I get filled up to easily) I propose I limit my alcohol consumption to these 2 options.
What do you think of this ingenious plan?
What do you think of this ingenious plan?
I'm an accomplished drinker, but there's no way I could approach a 12 pack of beer ... I'd be too full. In the last 30+ years of drinking I don't believe I've ever done that.
Likewise with wine, the tannins would tear my stomach up.
I maybe wrong I just can't imagine myself getting trashed on either at this point. That's not to say down the road these beverages couldn't become equally as problematic as hard alcohol, but not at this moment in time.
We'll see ... if it doesn't workout and my alcohol consumption is still a problem, I'll quit for good.
Likewise with wine, the tannins would tear my stomach up.
I maybe wrong I just can't imagine myself getting trashed on either at this point. That's not to say down the road these beverages couldn't become equally as problematic as hard alcohol, but not at this moment in time.
We'll see ... if it doesn't workout and my alcohol consumption is still a problem, I'll quit for good.
The trick will be not to switch off once I get that full feeling from beer. I don't think it would be possible to mix a significant amount of other alcohol with wine without a distinct possibility of hurling.
btw, if the "moderation plan" doesn't work ... I will quit completely.
btw, if the "moderation plan" doesn't work ... I will quit completely.
I will hold you to that, I will give you thirty days, tops, truth is I give you 3 nights of drinking before it all goes out the window
Will you come see us if you are unable to hold to your "ingenious plan"?
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 83
Originally Posted by Ago
Can you relate at all to the following passage?
BB 1st ed
It looks suspiciously like
It was hell reading about me in a book that was written before I was born, it was like somebody had been following me around
I will hold you to that, I will give you thirty days, tops, truth is I give you 3 nights of drinking before it all goes out the window
Will you come see us if you are unable to hold to your "ingenious plan"?
BB 1st ed
It looks suspiciously like
It was hell reading about me in a book that was written before I was born, it was like somebody had been following me around
I will hold you to that, I will give you thirty days, tops, truth is I give you 3 nights of drinking before it all goes out the window
Will you come see us if you are unable to hold to your "ingenious plan"?
I do believe some of the contingencies you listed above are advantageous to my current M.O. though.
For example, "drinking only at home" (which is inconsistent with my argument to drink for social reasons).
But to illustrate the difference, suppose I buy a bottle of wine and stay at home ... more than likely I'd finish the entire bottle off which by any definition exceeds drinking in moderation.
However, in my case, drinking the entire $20 bottle (5-6 glasses) is no way as detrimental as going to the bar and hitting the ATM several times and spending hundreds of $$$ and possibly making the unwise decision of trying to drive myself home.
One could argue that after I finish the bottle of wine at home perhaps I would go out to get another bottle. Guess that's possible, but at this stage of my disease it's highly improbable.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by Pboy
I'd rather be celebrating with friends/acquaintances on Super Bowl Sunday than alone in my apartment.
), but Minnesota looks good too...Oh yea, It has become almost irrelevant... but I'll be drinking Sprite Zero with nachos, with habeniero sauce.... and that's just fine...
Also... What Ago said...
You are always WELCOME here, keep coming back.
Mark
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: KC MO
Posts: 980
Originally Posted by Pboy
I did get drunk and sleep in my car but that's not a weekly or even monthly occurrence.
I've participated in binge drinking for approx. 3 decades especially on weekends, so forgive me for my hesitance to make a monumental life change without considering options.
I'm VERY confident I can stop drinking as I've already demonstrated it.
My biggest reasons for wanting to quit/curtail drinking are prioritized in this order:
1) concern about continued declining job performance
2) don't want to make a poor judgment and decide to drive (DUI)
3) spend every discretionary penny on drinking ... again I have what I refer to as the "Donald Trump" complex and feel the need to buy everyone drinks when I drink
4) the drama that goes into the bar environment, e.g. fights, etc ...
I'm not trying to be argumentative and I know many here have been through what I'm struggling with, but I'd rather be celebrating with friends/acquaintances on Super Bowl Sunday than alone in my apartment.
I've participated in binge drinking for approx. 3 decades especially on weekends, so forgive me for my hesitance to make a monumental life change without considering options.
I'm VERY confident I can stop drinking as I've already demonstrated it.
My biggest reasons for wanting to quit/curtail drinking are prioritized in this order:
1) concern about continued declining job performance
2) don't want to make a poor judgment and decide to drive (DUI)
3) spend every discretionary penny on drinking ... again I have what I refer to as the "Donald Trump" complex and feel the need to buy everyone drinks when I drink
4) the drama that goes into the bar environment, e.g. fights, etc ...
I'm not trying to be argumentative and I know many here have been through what I'm struggling with, but I'd rather be celebrating with friends/acquaintances on Super Bowl Sunday than alone in my apartment.
I think you might be like me in one respect. (I thought alcohol gave me courage to socialize). I believe that is a lot of why I drank. I think I am a boring person when I'm sober. But the fact is I was a boring person drunk also.
Fred
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 83
Originally Posted by Nevertheless
I really believe you aren't seeing the forest for the trees. There are lots of people that watch the superbowl sober.( of course I have only done it once). But my point is this isn't a vehicle to socialize, its a vehicle to drink. There are plenty of people that watch football in my AA group. And though I havn't asked, I'm sure they get together and watch it somewhere. I am kicking around the idea of going to a casino here after while. Probably 70 % of the people will be drinking, but I will not. I'm really starting to enjoy watching people drink. Thinking (man I'm glad that isn't me anymore).
I think you might be like me in one respect. (I thought alcohol gave me courage to socialize). I believe that is a lot of why I drank. I think I am a boring person when I'm sober. But the fact is I was a boring person drunk also.
Fred
I think you might be like me in one respect. (I thought alcohol gave me courage to socialize). I believe that is a lot of why I drank. I think I am a boring person when I'm sober. But the fact is I was a boring person drunk also.
Fred
A lack of social skills and anxiety are also my nemeses, but I guess that's topics for another forum.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Originally Posted by Pboy
I just used the Super Bowl as an example. I know there is an endless number of other reasons a drinker can think of (e.g. days that end in "y").
A lack of social skills and anxiety are also my nemeses, but I guess that's topics for another forum.
A lack of social skills and anxiety are also my nemeses, but I guess that's topics for another forum.
if you had to drink to be around others, you never learned to be around others, so learning how to do that sober is part of recovery, if you use alcohol to deal with your anxiety you never learned how to successfully manage your emotions/anxiety so learning how to do that is part of recovery, if you drink before you ask a girl out, you never learned how to ask a girl out and so on
It's all part and parcel of learning how to not drink, anyone can put the plug in the jug not everyone can leave it there for exactly those reasons.
not drinking doesn't have a whole lot to with actual sobriety but it's a necessary prerequisite
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Originally Posted by Ago
absolutely not, those also fall under untreated alcoholism
if you had to drink to be around others, you never learned to be around others, so learning how to do that sober is part of recovery, if you use alcohol to deal with your anxiety you never learned how to successfully manage your emotions/anxiety so learning how to do that is part of recovery, if you drink before you ask a girl out, you never learned how to ask a girl out and so on
It's all part and parcel of learning how to not drink, anyone can put the plug in the jug not everyone can leave it there for exactly those reasons.
not drinking doesn't have a whole lot to with actual sobriety but it's a necessary prerequisite
if you had to drink to be around others, you never learned to be around others, so learning how to do that sober is part of recovery, if you use alcohol to deal with your anxiety you never learned how to successfully manage your emotions/anxiety so learning how to do that is part of recovery, if you drink before you ask a girl out, you never learned how to ask a girl out and so on
It's all part and parcel of learning how to not drink, anyone can put the plug in the jug not everyone can leave it there for exactly those reasons.
not drinking doesn't have a whole lot to with actual sobriety but it's a necessary prerequisite
I know it seems I'm in denial or being argumentative, but I'm truly thankful I found this site.
I realize I have to make a change, but the thought of NEVER drinking again seems like an awful long time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 679
I've had your plan, been in your shoes, it takes a lot of energy to play the moderation game. I tried it for years. I really thought I could get it.
You might want to think about why the thought of giving up alcohol forever seems like such a daunting and overwhelming task. If it wasn't such a key substance in your life shouldn't you just be able to let it go especially since it isn't leading you anywhere good?
I cried when I finally realized I had to let it go. It is tough. I wonder if there is anything to speed up your process. For me, I doubt there was anything anyone could have said or done which is unfortunate because sometimes I think of those as years wasted. Good luck.
You might want to think about why the thought of giving up alcohol forever seems like such a daunting and overwhelming task. If it wasn't such a key substance in your life shouldn't you just be able to let it go especially since it isn't leading you anywhere good?
I cried when I finally realized I had to let it go. It is tough. I wonder if there is anything to speed up your process. For me, I doubt there was anything anyone could have said or done which is unfortunate because sometimes I think of those as years wasted. Good luck.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
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Originally Posted by Pboy
Thanks you and everyone else for your replies.
I know it seems I'm in denial or being argumentative, but I'm truly thankful I found this site.
I realize I have to make a change, but the thought of NEVER drinking again seems like an awful long time.
I know it seems I'm in denial or being argumentative, but I'm truly thankful I found this site.
I realize I have to make a change, but the thought of NEVER drinking again seems like an awful long time.
when the day finally comes defiance is the outstanding characteristic of alcoholism, if you didn't have it I'd find you uninteresting and wander away
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Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 83
Originally Posted by sfgirl
You might want to think about why the thought of giving up alcohol forever seems like such a daunting and overwhelming task. If it wasn't such a key substance in your life shouldn't you just be able to let it go especially since it isn't leading you anywhere good?
It's been the foundation of most social aspects of my life for nearly 3 decades.
I've been fortunate in the sense I've never got arrested, lost a job, lost a relationship, or any other drastic consequence from my experiences with alcohol. Until recently it was just a matter of dealing with hangovers and a propensity to keep my checking balance at a minimum.
My most recent history has resulted in poor job attendance and taking stupid chances. I know I can't conduct business as usual with alcohol, but I haven't come to the decision it's all are none.
The consensus here is I won't be successful in implementing a "moderation plan", but I really haven't tried.
For example, what if I decided to drink on non-work day nights only, leave my house with a predetermined amount of money and leave my debit and CC's home, take taxis, etc ...
It still may not fit the "moderation" definition, but it would be a colossal improvement of what I've being doing as of late.
If it sounds like I confused about what the future has in store for me it's because I am.
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