SexyCeloryStick

Unfortunately, the state has my license :-(

Its time to head off for the night. I hope the odds are in my favor. I didnt pay 20 dollars to start my sobreity from scratch...

Rowan

The state has your license?! You drove to the liquor store!

You can continue to drink and MAYBE make it back - or you could just go to bed. Why don't you go to bed and wake up with a clear head and conscience?

Dee74

Dees Law - the longer you delay in dumping it, the more screwed you are, SC

D

streetpizza

Call a friend and make a food date. Or, order a large pizza with all your favorite toppings. I went without a license for a while, too (and I did it the legal way).

Firehazard

What divine intervention must of been with you to put it in the trunk. Good job!!!!!! I had a similar experience with over one year. I bought a bottle of wine to use in a stir fry sauce and as soon as I went through the check out stand the urge started. I called my sponsor right before drinking it and poured it out. Drinking that can only make matters worse.

Bamboozle

This is excellent advice...so simple, but it really does work. I've eaten until I've been sick just so I wouldn't drink. Besides, if you eat something tasty, it's pretty good until you feel like you're going to explode.


DUMP IT.

Do ANYTHING you can to not drink.

Go for a walk.

Or if you want to be unhealthy like me, smoke a bunch of cigarettes. That's what I've done when I really wanted to drink and the anxiety was unbearable.

Call up a friend.

Watch a movie or play some video games.

Keep your butt glued to SR for hours and hours on end. Spend the time you would drinking and passed out here at SR. I've stayed here several hours in a row several times...even reading through threads several years old just to keep sober...up at all hours until I was tired enough to simply sleep.

This urge will pass. It is a fleeting feeling...and you don't owe it a thing. You don't have to listen to it. Tell it to f*ck off.

gravity

A link to your first post:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2186369

Seth, it doesn't get better. Do you really want to go through that hell all over again? Dump the vodka. For guys like us, it's pure misery - guaranteed.

Take care.

SexyCeloryStick

I cant sleep. I am up, and on here because I know if I start wondering that will be the end of it. I know I need to dump it. It feels like my heart is set on relapsing.

Whats odd is I live in a house of party go'ers, and getting beer or liqour from the fridge isnt hard, there is plenty of it. But damn it, when its my own bottle I have relapsing issues..

I am going to watch that alcoholism move that was posted- but man... this is a long night ahead
I have already canceled morning plans so I can sleep, and have set my lies so no one, once again- will suspect anything.

I am sliding back to zero. I know it, and its sooooo weird. I was fine for the past month, then today- bam... headed back to nothing.

Bamboozle

That's simply NOT TRUE. It's not over. Your addiction is trying to get you to cave. Don't listen to it. Again, tell it to f*ck off. You don't have to do this.

You have a case of the f*ck its right now. It sounds like what I used to do...I would have a bad feeling and decide everything was over...and then get plastered. That wasn't the solution.




This feeling will pass. It's only a fleeting moment. I know it doesn't seem that way now...but I do know this has happened to me many times...and every time I did NOT give in and give up...the urge passed.

You can make it through the storm.

You are worth it.

You do not have an obligation to drink...it is not necessary. Recognize what you are doing...you are rationalizing your relapse right now. You can stop this any time. You have the control to stop this. Stop the irrational thoughts.

Get out a piece of paper and write down your feelings and thoughts. Look at this from an outsider's perspective...what would he/she think about your situation?

You know exactly what will happen if you pick up. It's not worth it and you know it.

What will drinking solve? It never solved anything for me...it just made a bad situation worse. It has taken me a long time to finally admit that...just in the last few weeks I've had this realization.

Latch onto SR. Read, read and read some more. Post. I know it's slow right now, but there are a lot of threads and a lot of ESH in these threads that talk about this very thing.

Bamboozle

I've said this before in another thread and I think it's relevant here.

I used to think that if I wasn't "feeling" recovery I wasn't doing it right...that people who recover had the right mind set. How very wrong I was. If I had based my recovery on "feelings", I would have relapsed a long time ago.

Don't listen to the feelings. The feelings are ********.

The most wonderful thing about recovery is that you don't have to feel it to do it. The negative feelings will pass. Stay strong and focus on your recovery.

SexyCeloryStick

I cant help it. Its late, its planned, I need to crash and feel like sh** in the morning. my mind is set on this, and I dont know why.

I am weak. Is it worth loosing it all? Hell no, but yet that is what I am still willing to risk. I am freaking rediculous...

SexyCeloryStick

I just frikin cant. I know if I could sleep, itd pass by tomorrow. What I should do is go empty that bottle so I can have the piece of mind. Unfortunatly that didnt happen. Now I am kicking myself as to why I bought that **** in the first place

streetpizza

I would have done the opposite. I would have set a tee time for golf at 9 am in the morning so if I showed up looking like a train hit me, there would be someone there to hold me accountable. It's a disincentive to drink.

Bottom line is, you have to set yourself up to succeed (which is why I suggested and still suggest to dump the alcohol).

Speaking personally, I have absolutely no problem going out for "drinks" with friends or as a date as long as I've got my car there. Like many alcoholics (I'm sure), I don't see the point in a couple beers and (as I said before) I've had my license taken away for driving under the influence and its not something I want to do again. Out with friends, I have a whole lot of disincentive to drink.

On the other hand, I won't put myself in a situation where one or more of my buddies comes over to watch movies and knock back beers, since there is no safety net there: I could rather legally knock back 20 beers, go to bed, roll out in the morning and go about my life (which, historically speaking, would probably be another day full of drinking). Long story short, I haven't had one of those nights in a while.

Set yourself up to succeed. Minimize whatever causes your urges and maximize whatever makes them go away. I'm not sure about all of the particulars of your situation, but it sounds like that bottle in your trunk is a ticking time bomb, so my advice would be first and foremost to rid yourself of it.

With all that said, every person deals with things in different ways and I admittedly don't know a whole lot about you... but "set yourself up to succeed" is universal advice for avoiding alcohol (as well as any number of other goals you might have in life).

Dee74

I don;t believe it's a foregone conclusion or you wouldn't be posting here.
You said it yourself - empty bottle = piece of mind.

Empty the damn bottle, get some rest - and then work out whats going on in yr head in the morning.

I dunno whats going on - whether you're unhappy or dissatisfied or scared or angry about something? but drinking won't help.

Thats a cast iron promise.

D

marty888

Dee is 100% correct drinking is just going to multiply your current problem and tomorrow you will have the remorse guilt and anxiety plus since you have been sober a while a huge hangover worse than normal.
Just smash the bottle and try and breathe and relax.

Bamboozle

Read what you wrote over and again. Just read it.

You don't need to stick with your plan.

You don't need to crash.

You don't need to feel like sh!t.

So your mind is set on it? So what? You do not have to act on it. You are the one in control.

SCS, I still want to get drunk much of the time...but I have a choice. I can act on it...or I can ignore it and do something else.

Dump the fracking bottle...smash it all over the ground. Get rid of it. Do not leave yourself an out. You're posting here...that means you really don't want to do this...so don't.

Bamboozle

The hard truth...and I'm one of the softies around here.

Stop making excuses.


You bought it. So what? I've done that before...and I've gotten rid of it. DUMP IT.



Sleep isn't necessary to get this to pass.

I get insomnia really bad sometimes...I sleep when I get tired enough. I'm wide awake right now and I should have been asleep three hours ago.

You'll sleep when you get tired enough. Eat some food. Get water...lots of water, too.

Read a book. Get some exercise. Keep yourself occupied and distracted...I cannot stress enough how important that is.

TTOSBT

What if drinking was not an option?
Cause it does not have to be.
I tell myself that it is not an option. I tell myself I can't. I tell myself that I will die if I do.
And today I believe that.
It has kept me sober through some really tough times.
Please come right back. Cause it sounds like you are already gone

FightingIrish

how'd it go?

flutter

I'm a bit late on this, I hope you're ok.

I know that when I was still drinking/not drinking/drinking etc.. , before I quit drinking (really quit), it was a dealbreaker if I went thru the motions of actually buying the bottle, I HAD to drink it, there was no turning back. Course, back then I did it in complete silence. I wasn't posting on SR, there was no one to care for me enough to beg me to pour it out.. I don't know, but that might have turned me around at least one of those times.

I hope the concern your friends here have shown for you sunk in just enough to get you through another night/day. Let us know how you're doing when you can.