Tazman53

TJ that is true, but I have only been out for 6 months so I am still a bit toasty!

teej

well chill out dude!

leeside

You gave a lot of reasons not to drink. You had to be very drunk when you made that post. I never commented on a drunk post before, as far as I know. Now that you are sober enough to see how that post looks, take a look at it and you might see the reasons not to drink.

sober love can also be tough love

Missminime

Ive read them. and i was extremly drunk when posting yes. But without posting here i wouldnt get to se a doctor or a therapist, so im actaully glad i posted. I can see lots of reasons not to drink, and that is not in that post.

And i never said you used to comment on drunken posts (wtf?), im not really following you around.

Missminime

Hi hope. How are you doing?

My hobbies.. actually its alot of things i enjoy doing - and alot of words i dont know in english lol. But horseriding, i love it. Been doing it my whole life. I could prob ride before i could walk :P We have horsies but mine had a baby last year. I will start riding again this summer.

Ive seen your pictures around here somewhere. They are lovely! so much talent

TJ - Hi, how are you? I took thursday off from work next week. And i will see my therapist and a doctor then. My mom wants to come with me to the therapist but im not sure yet... ill let her give me a ride there and see what he says abot it. Im already a lil nervous but im looking forward to it.

Taz - I guess you will have to buy me alot of ice cream if you ever visit stockholm, sweden. Not that you should do.. not really much too see her. A smalltown for a capital. lol.

----

I feel so numb today. I woke up like that today when i had to goto work. Like i wook up from really heavy sleeping/dreaming, and i usually dont. Ive had insomnia my whole life, even as a baby - i never slept... atleast thats what my parents says. They had to carry me around all nights before i fell asleep for a couple of hours and im still like that. Hm well numbs.. yes i feel like im watching the world and even myself, my body, from a distance. I feel like im far far away, even do i walk/talk/work. Its like its a dark heavy cloud over my head.. or a fog close around me. Im a bit nausea still, like a hangover but for 4 days now.. no. I think im a bit scared of what my future will bring.

Im still kindof positive so i wonder why i feel like this. Im looking forward to start studying again. I have no idea.

Talluleh

Minnie, I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. I'm hoping it goes away really soon. I see you posted this earlier today, are you feeling any better by now? Have you had something to eat??

leeside

I never said you said I commented on drunken posts. I said I, as far as I know, never commented on a drunken post before. That is refering to me. I think you are still 3 sheets to the wind and are looking for someone to come down on.

How do you say you are not really following me around??? Where do you get that? Who ever said you were following me around? I'm sorry I ever tried to comment on a drunken post and I will take care not to do so again.

You sounded like getting drunk was the worst thing and you were very sorry for doing so and I was pointing out that that is a good reason (among others) not to drink. I was just pointing that out. I wasn't trying to put you down personally. You just need to lighten up a bit. Get sober and you will see I was saying it to help you see that getting drunk can make you feel rotten like you say in your post.

teej

Minnie,
I think the therapist will ask to speak to you alone. I would if I was the therapist! hehe

Hon, I dont think Lee was trying to put you down personally, JMO

stone

Hi Minnie, I agree with tj the therapist will probably want to see you alone. If I were you I would want to see them alone too. I hope you feel better now, I had some virus that lasted about 10 days recently perhaps you caught it from one of my cyber-hugs

Tazman53

Fog!!! Oh yea, I remember that, and on rare occasions I still have that feeling every once in a while. You describe it well, kind of like I am out side of myself looking in at myself and wondering "What in the world is going on?"

I have over 6 months now and I have those feelings less and for shorter amounts of time.

Missminime all kidding aside, when you decide that you would really like me to buy you some chocolate ice cream let me know and I will see if I can arrange a gift certificate for you over there.

Mini I see a huge difference in you in just the last week, I see that beautiful young lady starting to emerge from that protective shell for the world to see. Yes you are fragile right now, but that is part of your beauty.

BTW I noticed that you no longer have that pic of the forlorn young girl any more!!! I knew she would go away and you would start to blossom.

I hope you do not mind a BIG HUG from an old drunk but here it is! ((((((((Missminime))))))))

hope3

Hi minni, things are going well for me.

I like your hobbies, horse back riding, I haven't done alot of it,

but would like to someday...

I hope your day is going well....hope3

hope3

Minni if you like to look at photo's, there are alot of them at

this link, mostly landscapes.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...onderings.html

I started this thread with photo's I was taking on my winter wonderings.

Instead of drinking I was out looking for beautiful shots of scenery.

Hugs hope3

gypsytears

Hi mini . Hope you're feeling better, at least a little bit? I agree with the others... the therapist will probably want to talk to you alone and that's how it should be IMO. Maybe they will involve family in your therapy, at which point your mother could participate. I don't know. I would just worry about yourself at the moment... and by that I don't mean "worry" literally of course... you just take care of YOU going to the therapist is all.

stone

Minnie, check in time babes! Where are you!

Pilgrim

What Stone said.

Talluleh

what stone and pilgrim said.. Minnie where are you girl?

Golfman

she's around somewhere, she posted a little while ago on another thread. Hope things are working out for you minnie. How's it goin' living with your parents?

Missminime

im alive, thanks all

Missminime

I always write small notes. like diarys but not really. I always have pen and paper with me in my pocket or in my bag, always at work or when i was in school - everywhere. And i just write short notes down, i usually write down what date, time and location. My books from school was filled with notes like this. I took them home and saved them in a box. Never read them, but they were there. Started to read some of them today.

I will share some of it...
Im pretty sure mom is "she". I just translated exactly as i wrote it down.

---

June 22th 2004. Toscana - Italy
Im bored, nothing really matters.
I have a wierd feeling about.. something.

June 25th. Toscana - Italy. 01.57am
How is she thinking when she wants me to love her?
I cant even if i try.

June 28th. Toscana - Italy.
Why is she always trying to make me feel guilty. She yells at me, she hits me and she gives me hell and now its my fault? How can she blame me for that?

Im getting a tatto...

7th July 2004. Italy. 02.40
I seriously have to stop drinking as much as i am. Mom is totally wasted, she even came in here for another whiskey one minute ago.. its in the middle of the night ffs. I hope i never end up like her, drunk and making a fool out of myself.

---

Some things acutally suprised me.
I thought that was a nice trip. I only have happy memories of that trip, cant remember those feelings. Also.. i say that my mom hit me. I cant remember she hitting me since i was like.. 9. But i guess it happend 2004, i cant remember that. I have to keep reading these note and see if its more i have forgotten. Sorry i just had to vent.

And btw i loled at the "im getting a tatto part" :P Silly teenager