gypsytears

Thanks all. I like posting on here. The feedback doesn't just go in one ear and out the other. By having it on the board, I can come back and read the responses over and over if I have to. This often leads to re-thinking things.

Today I feel good. I'm not drinking, I'm not craving, and I'm happy. And I'm happy to be happy. That's for today. I know I might not feel the same tomorrow so I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day (even if it's friggin freezing here !).

Congrats to you on your sober time too TouchTheMirror .

I'mready99

Gypsy...

Today is all we have, none of us knows what tomorrow will bring. Thats why "One day is a time" needs to be a saying all of us lives by...

And yes, congratulations TouchThe Mirror.

Steve



PS...And yes its "friggin" cold here in Northern Maryland also.

Tazman53

A my favorite place, the pink cloud, I do love it so. Life is good, it is better today then it was yesterday, and comparing it to 80 days ago I have have died and gone to heaven!!!

GT as imready99 said, if those were AA folks they need to start listening at meetings and work on their steps. I have a feeling they have already gone out again or are so new and craving so hard for a drink that they can not beleive some one with the same amount of time you have could possibly not have a craving.

Some folks have the craving 24X7 for a long time, others can live on a pink cloud for quite a while, I do a lot, but I am also heavy into my life, my family, and my program. My sobriety comes first though, because once it is no longer #1 I will lose it and everything else around me.

God Bless GT and hang in there. Have a good week end GT.

Have a good weekend all of you I will see you sober and happy on Monday.

leeside

Hi gypsy,

Good work!

As long as you are getting something positive out of it why should they care if you are doing the 12 steps or not?

An IOP should have a councilor present and that is the one you are to look to for good advice and feedback. If the AA people are doing so well in AA then they wouldn't be in IOP.

Some AAs' I have been to seem to drive you to drink. I think they get a power trip out of driving others to drink and I stopped going to those. I think it is reverse psycology and is hard to pick up on. That might be what is happening with those, so called, AAers that go to IOP.

leviathon

GT, by attending I don't think you are fooling yourself. Remember, take what you want and leave the rest... perhaps your HP is simply bringing you about so you will hear the message and then maybe some of the message will stick.

Or if you don't believe in an HP, then maybe it is just that you need the support and some of the info will stick and help you along the way.

Peace, Levi

mrhodes01

GT, I'm with you, except you are ahead of me, because I have been drinking off and on since February after 18 months sober.

I'm not a big fan of AA, not because of the God issue, but because I don't believe I'm helpless to control my alcoholism. I also hate the hassle of attending meetings and IOP programs. Sometimes attending a few is enough to keep me sober for a while because I know that if I drink I'll have to come back

My advice is to seek out some alternatives. When I'm behaving, I go to LifeRing meetings and see a therapist who specializes in addictions/alcoholism. I've also committed the ultimate heresy by trying to do the 12 steps, obviously altered, on my own. I simply write things down. I make lists. I call people I've hurt and who understand my situation and tell them I'm trying again and I'm sorry for certain things I've done. I personally don't believe you have to have a sponsor to work the steps in your own personal way. I'm not recommending you go it alone, especially given my own track record, but you can make progress by yourself. But do build a support system. Not doing that has always proven to be my downfall.

If you haven't already, read "How to Quit Drinking Without AA." Great book that takes a holistic approach to quitting. If you're healthy and doing well and feeling good about yourself, it will be all that much easier to stay quit. If you're just sucking down Snickers bars and chain smoking and pounding coffee to kill time between relapses, you'll be less successful, in my opinion and experience.

My 1.5 cents. Stay strong!

earlybird

Im just curious,....why you have "no intention" of doing any of the steps or getting a sponsor? Do you think you can do this on your own?

gypsytears

Yes. Maybe something will indeed stick. I rather enjoy the Wednesday speaker meeting I've been going to for the past month so I'll continue. The support there is nice.


There are 2 counselors Leeside. I do realise that people in my IOP aren't well, whether they go to AA or not. So far, I'm going with an open mind and really trying to absorb some of the useful stuff. I do feel positive about it for the most part.

gypsytears

I've contacted Women for Sobriety. I find the WFS program very appealing to me. Trouble is, there are only 2 meetings in my state and they are each 2 hours away! I don't think LifeRing is near me either, but I'll look into that.

I have the IOP to go to... marriage counselor... plenty of AA meetings around... friends and family and most importantly my children and husband behind me. I'm also using this forum as a part of my support network.

I actually just ordered the book you mentioned. It should be here any day now. Right now I'm reading The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure (A Holistic Approach to Total Recovery) by Chris Prentiss.

Well, I don't smoke... not a sweet tooth and only drink coffee in the morning... so I've got a good handle there eh ?

gypsytears

Is this a baited question ?

Tazman53

GT glad to see you are still hanging in there. Keep on open mind on all of this.

I went through de-tox where it was pointed out that the most effective long term sobriety program going was AA. That is not to say there are not other programs out there that have kept folks sober, I am sure there are. When I got out of de-tox I "followed directions", I went straight home and then to an AA meeting that evening and got a sponsor.

I also "followed directions" and made my first appointment to go into IOP, the gentlemen and I spoke for close to half an hour. He asked me at the end of our discussion if I felt I needed IOP and I asked him what he thought, he told me that I sure appeared to have my act together and wanted to know what I thought about it. I told him I was doing IMO amazingly well with the AA meetings. I asked him if I chose not to do the IOP at that time would the door for it still be open for me if I felt it was needed, he said yes, it would be open for me as long as I wanted.

I told him that I really felt that AA was doing me very well and that I saw no real need for IOP at the time. He agreed and gave me his card. I really liked him, he was honest, because at that point in time he could have made a good chunk of change off of me by telling me that IOP would be a good idea.

IOPs are all different, just like AA meetings and any other support group.

AA is what one makes of it, if you are not willing to do what ever is needed to maintain your sobriety, then as with anything else in life you will get what you put into something out of it.

In other words, if you do something half way, then you will get half of something.

If you do it all the way, you will get all of it.

When it comes to my sobriety I know there is no middle road, I am either sober or I am drunk. If I do something halfway I will get drunk, if I "follow directions" I will remain sober.

I have yet to meet one person who followed the AA program to fail.

I have seen plenty of folks who went to AA and decided, I don't like this part or that part and did fail. What kills me is they come away blaming AA for thier own failure!

That is no different then if I sold you a car and told you if you want to go push on that pedal and you want to stop push on that one. Well you decide I don't like pushing that pedal, you hit a tree and then get made at me because you didn't "follow directions"!

One common denominator alcoholics have is they do not like to be told what to do, I sure don't, but alcohol kicked my butt! I surrndered to alcohol, I tried for years to tell alcohol and every one around me what to do. Well alcohol kicked my butt real good, and by "following directions" I have been sober for 84 days straight, I have not had a single relapse, I am happier then I have been for 20+ years and I know for a fact that as long as I "follow directions" instead of "doing it my way", I will remain sober.

There are other very good programs out there, but none of them will work for me unless I "follow directions" and quit doing it my way!

My way got me drunk, following directions got me sober!

gypsytears

Thanks Taz. What a great post. Words of experience, strength and hope all taken to heart and appreciated .

I am still hanging in there. And I'm still hanging out here .

GettinSober

Taz,

Another great post. You're like a great post machine.

How many times did you try and give up prior to this time Taz? Did you try AA before or just white knuckle it previously? Or is this your first time trying to give it up?

The Persian

I don't think you are fooling yourself at all, while relapse is ALWAYS possible take it day by day in the beginning, never try and belittle or question your progress toward becoming sober for life!


Jay

gypsytears

Thank you Persian. Maybe I do need to step back and stop questioning myself.

Oh, and welcome .

Tazman53

gettinsober I can not count the number of times I tried to quit, I actually quit for a year and a half back in 71 due to religion, but drifted away from the church and right back to alcohol. It was very easy to quit then, my disease was in its infancy and did not have the physical grip on me at the time.

I started trying to quit quite often from the time I was 40, but alcohol had not beaten me totally into submission and I fooled myself into thinking I can control it. I would start off every time quitting and then after 2-3 days I would allow my disease to once again convince me that I could control my drinking, the only thing it did was get worse. I tried 100 times I guess during a 10 year period. I finaly surrendered to alcohol, I gave up fighting what I could not beat!

Every time I did the good old fashion MANLY thing and tried to white knuckled it! I did go to an AA meeting about 4 years ago, I had been drinking all day and was pretty toasted, my wife got home and was beyond POed, I decided to appease her I would go to an AA meeting. Well I stopped and bought a 6 pack on the way there and killed three before I got to the meeting, sat through the meeting and for some reason I bought a copy of Alcoholics Anonymous, then on the way home drank the rest of the 6 pack!

Funny thing.... I got nothing out of the meeting, I read the book cover to cover while drinking one right after another...... I didn't get a thing out of the book either.

I have learned that unless you are willing to do anything to get sober and "follow directions" you will fail no matter what program you go into.

Even as a drunk I always prefered things with the best track record along with something that had been around for a awhile.

So many of us alcoholics look for the easy way out, there are none!

So many of us alcoholics are too egotistical to change our mind about anything we have beleived in the past, many of us are so stubborn that we will drink our selfs to death before we will take the needed steps to get and stay sober.

Humility is one of the keys to getting sober, being willing to admit that I can not do this, was a very humbling experience, it went against everything I knew. I am in charge and no one is going to tell me what to do!!!!

I will die before I admit I need help!!! I will not accept anything that I do not want to or like.

God has not helped me yet...... why should I expect him to help me now?

I would be admitting I am a weakling if I turn it over to God.

Man was I an idiot!!!! By simply turning it over to God with the help of AA I am sober and happier then I have been in 20+ years.

Foolish stubborn pride has taken more alcoholics to their graves with the answer to their delima staring them right in the face and it cost nothing!

I can drink any time I want to tomorrow, but today I choose not to drink, I tell myself that every morning, I still am to stubborn in a way to say I can never drink again, never is an impossible concept for an alcoholic to grasp when it comes to booze!

came2believe

Hi,
You might consider an all-women's AA meeting if you can find one near where you live. Almost all the AA meetings I attend are women's meetings. I guess I feel the air is clear for a bigger variety of topics, and you don't run into the "13th Stepping" issue , which can be a pitfall for newcomers as I understand. (Some people will try to hit on newcomers and that is known as the '13th' Step. Not part of the AA program!!!!!) And, I also feel that women create stronger bonds with each other than in co-ed meetings. This is my own experience and of course may not be right for you. Just sharing what my opinion is. Best of luck to you.

gypsytears

Thank you came2believe. I think I'm going to try a women's AA meeting tomorrow afternoon. There aren't many women's meeings on the list... but I'm willing to check this one out. Thank you so much for your input .

Tazman53

came2beleive that was an excellent suggestion, I had a hard enough time going to my first AA meeting after getting out of de-tox, I can imagine that it would be far more comfortable for a woman to start off with an all womens meeting.

There are quite a few womens meeting during the day in my area, surprisingly there are no strictly mens meetings, I could care less myself, but I am married so more then likely an all men meeting would be more beneficial for single guys.

In regards to the "thirtenth" stepping that goes on from what I have heard, I have not seen it, but I have heard it mentioned in a few meetings and so far I have yet to hear of anyone in my area doing it, but sadly I am sure it goes on.

Gypsy AA or something else, I know I could not have gone as far as I have gone without support from more then just my family, I know I am not alone in my recovery and that makes it far easier for me.

Gypsy if there are not in your opinion enough all womens meetings in your area, I am sure you could find a few women who would be interested in forming one. That is one of the neat things I love about AA, if a group of folks want to start a new meeting all they need is a location to meet at, there are quite a few small meetings people have in their own homes.

gypsytears

Taz, thanks. Coffee just went up my nose ! I hear what you're saying but I think I'll just try to get to the women's meeting at noon today and put aside any thoughts of starting up my own right now .

As far as going to meetings in general... I have been. Did I give the impression that I don't? Sorry bout that if I did. I've been going to a Wednesday night speaker meeting for the past month (as well as a few others), and I plan on making it there tonight too... after our marriage counseling session.Two AA meetings and marriage counseling. What a day full of me I have today.