Kiro

I suppose choosing sobriety was the best choice...I guess...around year 3 it just became overwhelmingly boring.

I find things to do....I go to the gym, got really into cooking, health and nutrition. I started a small company, receive passive income, got employees, financially stable with an upward trend. I am in a long term relationship, with a loving and trustworthy girl. It seems all good on paper I suppose...just I feel empty all the time. Is this what sobriety is suppose to feel like?

I done drugs so long I have no idea if this normal or not? I always assumed sobriety is boring and lame. Which is why I loved to do drugs. I do not romanticize about old drug days or going backwards... But I do know that when I was doing drugs...I never woke up depressed, never felt empty all the time, and never felt so plastic and unhappy. Nothing makes me happy, tired of wearing a "Im happy and successful mask" when inside I feel so empty and quite frankly miserable.

Is this normal with long term sobriety?

Redmayne

Given that I'm now well over 6 years into recovery and sobriety, as a sort of 'knee jerk' response, I'd say, yes.

I empathise a lot with what you say, then I remember that there is much to be said about the fact that sobriety, amongst its many benefits has brought quality, something I can't define, but know it when I see it, to my life. Which in my drinking days, barely existed, if ever.

Plus the fact when I feel like this, it's always an indication that I should renew my efforts to make spiritual progress, and stop being complacent about what I have or where I am and appreciate those more meaningful, perhaps little things in life.

Something that can be undertaken, even for those who don't take a spiritual approach to their recovery.

We all got here by different paths and we all follow different paths in recovery, although we're all joined in a common bond.

So there's no perfect way or answer to anything. Sobriety, like life itself is what you make it. Only you can make you happy, at the end of the day.

Redmayne

As a general observation, when someone , you. I or anyone starts to question the state or quality of their sobriety it's usually an indication that their state of mind needs changing. Not their sobriety, that's far to precious or anything around them, unless of course that threatens their sobriety.

Which in credit to you and your various interests , relationship and activities, doesn't appear so...like everything, for all of us, it's all in the mind.

zjw

we all get into ruts. sometimes you gotta find something else to get excited about. I run a lot I get bored and get into ruts where i'm just going witht he motions etc.. sometimes a new pair of running shoes or a new magazine about it stokes the fire some and gets me enthuisiastic about it and out of the rut.

THe important thing is if your in a rut and lack enthuisiasm and think lifes boring that you dont try and liven it up with the wrong thing. Booze or drugs while yeah it'll totally liven it up I dont think its the positive outcome your looking for.

Go sky diving or something I dunno do something different get out of your box a little and find something exciting.

Kiro

Well I understand that... I do have a quality of life that is more "societal acceptable" I suppose. I just hate this feeling emptiness...I feel like a pawn of sorts. I considering seeking professional help but I had a feeling this is just life... I just pushed the envelope too far and have to get used to living a mundane existence, I try and do exciting things: go to raves, shoot guns, skydiving is on the 2015 list... Idk...maybe I need a new hobby, or could learn a different language, or could invest in real estate....Idk... I just wish I could sit down and watch TV and find amusement in it. Or not feel so down all the time.

I generally keep to myself, without the reward of drugs or money I see very little benefit to social interaction. I am 26 and most people my age are "toxic" even sober ones... I rather sit at home alone than interact with these "people"

I remember I could get high and find endless entertainment in everything. TV, work, cooking, socializing, gaming....now everything is so blah... I put my happy mask on and smile... but honestly I just look forward to sleeping these days...

Hereandnow2

It sounds like you could be depressed ? Do you see a psychiatrist.?

Kiro

No psychiatrist. I am not really fond of those drugs with horrendous side effects. Tried SSRI my first attempt at sobriety. Started crying uncontrollably they switched medicines everything I eat tastes metallic and I got "angry". The cognitive sessions were garbage. The gym is more beneficial to me and helped me with my recover way more....

I think this is just the way life is...I always strive for and want too much. I just have to lower my expectations and get used to humdrum that accompanies sobriety... this is what I was missing out on? Seriously...

Everyone is different I get that... but I was classified as a "high functioning". I had friends (junkie and clean). I had a social life. Excelled in school. Held down a job. Excellent time management skills. 800 credit score. Owned a car. Drugs just enhanced everything...made life more enjoyable. However, in order to advance in society and avoid further legal problems. I must be sober. At this point the amount of hassle to acquire drugs (sober so long I have 0 connections) coupled with potential legal problems (jail) I now live sober.

Its just odd that I cannot relax after work in my house on my couch with my drug of choice. Yet I can get prescribed who knows what... that causes kidney stones, stomach ulcers and leaves heavy metals in your blood stream...

Idk... what do sober people do? what do sober people do for fun? I sometimes think I never actually became sober I just transferred my addiction from substances to money, fitness, and sex...

Boleo

Abstinence is not-drinking and feeling bad about it.

Recovery is not-drinking and feeling good about it.

I used to use booze to feel OK with not dealing with life. Now I use life to feel OK about not dealing with booze. Abstinence alone does nothing to treat the underlying causes of alcohol-ISM. Mainly things like care, boredom and worry. Or that empty feeling when things are going mostly OK but never exciting.

Today I have learned somethings about treating my alcohol-ISM. I can passively not-drink one-arduous-day-at-a-time. Or I can actively project good karma that will eventually come back to me in the form of spiritual prosperity. By spiritual prosperity, I don't mean good or valuable "stuff". Rather I mean POMJSOP; Peace Of Mind, Joy & Sense Of Purpose. When Buddha said "Each is his own master", he was not talking about being the master of the universe - he was talking about being the master of our emotions.

"In this life - pain is inevitable - suffering is optional."
(Unknown author)

freshstart57

What are the purposes of your life? There are many ways to ask this question, and many more ways to answer it. I think you will find the answers to your post if you look there. Happy hunting.

Here is a possible start. “I don’t believe that people are looking for the meaning of life, so much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.”

least

What I used to call boring I now call peaceful. My sobriety is anything but boring. I am fully awake and aware of my life and what's going on around me. I also have two dogs and four cats and find great joy in interacting with them.

fini

sounds like you're addicted to dramatic adrenaline-rushes and anything that's not THAT is boring/

i don't get bored (8 years sober), but i do relate to feeling a lack, an emptiness at esp. around 4 years, and yeah, i know a lot of people who've experienced it after getting and staying sober.
to me, that feeling/knowledge points to the fact that there's a need. and the need is something i wasn't aware of when getting drunk all the time.
so i see that feeling you describe as a pointer, a positive.
nothing boring, but challenging

Gottalife

It is all good on paper. You have managed your life very well, everything looks great, from the outside.

Could it be the spiritual malady? "Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction from this life if only he manages well?" Food for thought.

Mountainmanbob

May be borin
but, not to forget
many would love to be in that boat.
MM

dancook99

It sounds like you are putting yourself under a lot of pressure. I think to feel happy you need to be familiar with the opposite feeling too

dancook99

This might sound like a cliche, but is there something you could volunteer for in your local community? Helping people is a way to forget yourself.

Boleo

That's why I choose to use spiritual based recovery. Besides clean pee, it gives me POMJSOP:

Peace Of Mind
Joy
Sense Of Purpose

SoberCAH

I like boring just fine.

When I drank, I had to sacrifice a virgin or burn a village just to amuse myself.

I certainly don't miss being out everynight, wondering whether I could get home safely, knowing I was going to feel like puppy dog droppings, etc.

Not all excitement (like having a cop car in the rear view mirror) is fun.

This is a good topic.

Congratulations on your 4 years - that is really great.

Recover12Step

Thanks Kiro

I found when I got sober, my whole focus really began to switch to my head, and the mess that it was.

I instinctively began to realize that if I was to stay sober, I had to find a way of living at peace with myself. After much struggling that began to happen, and I also began to realize that the whole focus of my recovery became the rebuilding of my inner world.

Whatever I do externally is a reflection of what is going on internally ( for better or worse ! )

Focusing on my inner world has given me a degree of stability I never imagined and has given me my life back at a really meaningful level

Good Luck

Turtle82

Learning to accept the things I cannot change.
Developing the courage to change what I can.
Becoming wise enough to know the difference.
Living one day at a time while enjoying one moment at a time.
Accepting hardship as my pathway to peace.
Taking this world with all its maladies as it is and not as I would have it.
Trusting that God will make all things right if I surrender my will.

I don't know about anyone else but, for me, that's a huge chunk to chew. When I've successfully done all that, then, I might get bored.

desypete

i was 2 years sober and life was dull, i had got over the high of being sober and real life had to be lived without drinking

i can remember one old lady in aa who told me that if she was as unhappy about being sober like i was that she would go back on the drink as whats the point ?

i hated that women for saying that it was so rude and blunt, but looking back it was so right for me

as it made me look at me i was 2 years sober and had a lot back in my life yet i was unhappy
then i started to learn how i can make myself as happy or sad as i want to be in any given day
if i do nothing then i will get nothing back, if i stay indoors on a computer all my free time, i am going to end up feeling very badly indeed bored isnt the word for it

so what are you going to do to make sure your not bored being sober ? or did you expect being sober would bring its own fun and no one has to do anything ?

by the way it is normal in early years for people to think to themselves is this it ? or look at other people who seem happy and feel like there missing out on somthing

the older members in aa might be crackers, but they have been sober a long time and they have learned how to make each day being sober count for something

we are a long time dead in this world so dont waste a single day being bored get out there and do somthing