Is soberity suppose to be this boring? 4 year a couple weeks away... - Page 2 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 01-24-2015, 10:49 AM   #21 (permalink)
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I'm into my fifth year now, and I can't personally relate to boring. There isn't anything intrinsically "exciting" about drinking and using, and there's nothing more depressing than not being high and wanting/needing to get high - and then .not.dealing with the consequences by needing to get high again. Life does have ups and downs, though, so if you're not happy with where you're at, change it! You can do almost anything you want to do, if you put your mind to it and are not high all the time.
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Old 01-24-2015, 11:17 AM   #22 (permalink)
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What I once called boredom, I now call serenity

Write a gratitude list.

Glancing through what you wrote,'you've done pretty well for only 4 years.

Often times, we come to know the material things don't bring us our joy in life. The peace of mind and joy for me comes from a spiritual high and from helping others
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Old 01-24-2015, 11:20 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiro View Post
But I do know that when I was doing drugs...I never woke up depressed, never felt empty all the time, and never felt so plastic and unhappy.
That jumped out at me a bit. Really? Or is that a lie your addict brain is telling you? Don't know many people who quit drinking and drugging because their lives were going so well and they were only afraid of what the repercussions might bring.

As for the boring part, I have to admit that I go through that at times. I know why though. Happiness to me used to be defined by ecstasy, not happiness. My emotional scale goes from negative 5 to 15, while I feel the average "normal" (or non addict/alcohlic) person goes from 1-10. Put me at a 10 and I can easily consider myself bored, because I need to be at at least 11. When I first stopped drinking there were other things that could push me past 10. Sex worked. I loved new relationships and got high from them. The chase alone was even enough to keep me up there, anticipation of what might be. I'm also a musician. Playing original music to packed houses could get a good 14 going on the emotional scale . As time goes on though, I'm finding myself more able to settle with simpler things. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't still a struggle at times, but I've experienced enough to know that I want the love I share with my wife, more than the fleeting high of a new girl. I know the excitement alcohol and drugs once gave me is a done deal, so I don't even toy with that idea. It's dead, gone forever as far as I'm concerned and my mourning period for that is long gone too. I've learned to be happy with what I consider contentment, and I look forward to the times I'll still get pushed past 11. I'm playing a show in a well know NYC club tonight, that's doing the trick. I also like to travel since I've gotten sober. Have a cruise coming up in June... really looking forward to that.

I try to open myself to new opportunities also. Things that will push at the walls of my comfort zone. Sobriety has been for me about continually looking at myself and finding where there's room to grow. Then doing what's necessary to facilitate that growth. Won't be a done deal for me till I'm 6 feet under.

It's OK for me to feel bored from time to time. I know with crystal clarity what the alternative to that is, should I try to remedy it with drugs and alcohol. I'm with you on the meds too, tried it, and it's not the path for me.
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Old 01-24-2015, 11:28 AM   #24 (permalink)
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I have found volunteering to be a great way to 'get outside of myself' - adding to another human being's existence creates a certain satisfaction, even magic - hard to describe. Nursing homes, food banks, food kitchens . . can all drastically change one's perspective on the quality of one's own life.

Congrats on three years, Kiro; well done.
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Old 01-24-2015, 12:31 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Without wishing to sound patronising...

Without wishing to sound patronising or worst of all, stating the obvious...sobriety is like life itself, you have to rely on yourself. To rely on anyone or anything else is, in whole or part, a waste of time...only you, as we all exist in our state of mind, can make you happy.

Perhaps emphasised by Kant's saying,'It is not God's will merely that you be happy, but that we should make ourselves happy.'

Change your state of mind or perspective and you change your mind...just a thought.
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Old 01-24-2015, 12:34 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Yes, whenever I feel unsatisfied, helping someone, anyone, is generally a tonic to my state of mind. Pulls me right out of myself. For instance, volunteering at the shelter, never boring. Taking a meeting into a prison, actually is very exciting. I started an online shop selling my art (I make original stuffed creatures and wire-wrapped jewelry and some clothing). I also have a full-time job in law enforcement that is not usually boring. And babysitting my grandson is never boring! Of course, life is not the minute-to-minute crisis it was when I was trying to score, but that kind of "fun" I can live without! Hope you can get some ideas from my post!
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Old 01-24-2015, 04:33 PM   #27 (permalink)
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You have the option now to try new things. That's what sobriety brings. Possibility. I have none while I'm still drinking. Until i stop, i am not allowed to participate or make life altering decisions. I am merely getting by and doing damage control. Not a life swap you want to make. Take it from the other side. ...nothing is green or shiny over here.
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Old 01-24-2015, 04:44 PM   #28 (permalink)
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I will take boring any day over the self induced trauma I inflicted on myself and my family.
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What if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about?
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Old 01-24-2015, 04:56 PM   #29 (permalink)
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i agree with so much of the posting here. thanx for the link freshstart! pretty cool.

personal musings: -i got bored at times before i ever used.
-i got bored at times when i was using.
-i get bored at times now.
-sometimes people get mixed up between drama, crisis and entertainment.
-being fully entertained all the time is really not something i can realistically expect.
-depression is sneaky.
-action that many find curative to the boredom can be difficult to initiate. effort is often involved.
-dead people dont worry about this. so, i feel that dwelling in boredom is a type of ingratitude on my part, as if im telling the universe "this isnt enough!".

also, once in awhile, when im feeling "bored to tears" i remember that the majority of humans throughout history, and many in the present are just struggling to EXIST. they would laugh at my boredom, given the chance.
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Old 01-24-2015, 05:19 PM   #30 (permalink)
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I find fulfillment through spiritual growth, helping others, strengthening my relationship with loved ones, self improvement, living in the moment.

I was always waiting for happiness to arrive what I discovered is happiness is all around we just have to grasp it.

Some might call my life boring I call it serine
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Old 02-10-2015, 09:29 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Boring is just a feeling inside a spectrum of feelings. A little pebble on feeling beach.

If we are feeling our feelings, it is ok to feel boredom.

I saw somewhere on SR, some months ago, the phrase "if in doubt, cook or clean.". It randomly sings through my head, & if I cook or clean, my dissatisfaction or boredom or hurt feelings magically disappear as I get engaged in the project. Just paying attention, taking care of something, chopping vegetables into tidy pieces...
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Old 02-12-2015, 02:55 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Kiro- I see this post was from a couple months ago but I thought I'd post anyway! I can totally understand what you're talking about and I'll even go one step further. I forgot who I used to be before using and how I used to respond to every day things... I remember, for what seemed like an eternity, I didn't like to go in stores alone because I found myself feeling like I didn't know (get ready for this!) what to do with my ARMS!! I felt like if I would swing them, I'd look odd, folded them, I'd look defensive...I could go on and on. HAHA! I'm happy to report that I just kept "faking it till I felt it" happy, that is. I also remember saying "I dont understand happiness and don't see anything happy or exciting now" ~ I still have struggles with socialization. I isolate myself from time to time due to feeling so awkward when I try to carry on a normal conversation. I even struggled for a while with talking on the phone. Most of these things have really subsided and others, I have worked through to create the new me. The course in Miracles has helped me greatly and of course counseling. I cant stress enough that you need to find the counselor thats the perfect fit for you. If you have the slightest bit of reservations or doubt with him/her then find a new one.
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boredom , heroin , long term sobriety , methamphetamine , unhappy


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