Class of July 2015
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by Bebrave 
I've been lurking since May. I want to get out of the insanity. I guess I'm a functional alcoholic-- high level job, wonderful family and friends. I'm always the life of the party.
I've had a lot of issues with pain the last 5 years from SI, hip, foot issues etc. Thats when I would say my issues began. 5 of 7 days a week I drink an entire bottle of wine. My DH doesn't drink hardly at all-- but he's been so understanding. Like I said I'm functional, but many nights I'm zoned out by 8:00.
In the last few months, every waking error is consumed in my head about the psyche / why I am drinking / not drinking on a certain day. I hate it!
My wonderful husband deserves more from me.
I've had a lot of issues with pain the last 5 years from SI, hip, foot issues etc. Thats when I would say my issues began. 5 of 7 days a week I drink an entire bottle of wine. My DH doesn't drink hardly at all-- but he's been so understanding. Like I said I'm functional, but many nights I'm zoned out by 8:00.
In the last few months, every waking error is consumed in my head about the psyche / why I am drinking / not drinking on a certain day. I hate it!
My wonderful husband deserves more from me.
I have decided that it isn't bringing anything positive to my life. Even though it is currently difficult to not be drinking at all, in some ways it is just easier to tell myself "none" rather than the constant debate of if I would drink and how much I could maybe have. What if I would have too much? How much is too much? What if I can't stop once I have that first glass? It feels easier to just know that I won't have any and then that worry is just gone.
Welcome.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 32,382
Day 2 here.
I hope those who felt July 4th might bring challenges have found it easier than they expected.
I'm dealing with a minor household-equipment crisis today but have avoided letting it stress me overmuch, and with a clear head have planned my week and done some paperwork.
Best wishes to all.
I hope those who felt July 4th might bring challenges have found it easier than they expected.
I'm dealing with a minor household-equipment crisis today but have avoided letting it stress me overmuch, and with a clear head have planned my week and done some paperwork.
Best wishes to all.
Hang on!
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 181
Originally Posted by bighaircut
This is very similar to my story. Good career, respected, and I completely rock at it. I am always sober for work. However, it is also a very high stress position and I have allowed that stress to be the excuse for why I need to "unwind" at the end of the night. So, usually starting at my kids' bedtimes, I would open a bottle of wine and drink between 1/2- the full one and then pass out for the night and wake up bright and early and head to work. Much of my day would then be spent thinking about if I should drink that night or not, how much would be acceptable, etc. [....snip...]
Welcome.
Welcome.
And then go home and do it again, or lay off for a day or two and think "I'm Ok now. I can handle it." Such delusional thinking of the AV. But lately it's turned into the angry binge drunk, yelling incomprehensible crap at my wife that I don't remember well in the AM and would never say to her in my right mind. Then everything is mellow again for the 4 or 5 nights a week I pound half a bottle of vodka. Until it's not.
I am on day 25 now. So far so good. All the "what to expect" lists have been pretty spot on so far. The heart pounding the next day. The night sweats for a few nights. ...etc... Then the pink fog. Thank goodness for the pink fog - it gave me motivation to DO things instead of drink. Exercise, work on the bikes, pull weeds, move the woodpile, shampoo carpets, more exercise.... My pancreas / stomach no longer hurts, my heart no longer pounds at night, and I can almost sleep normally.
Now the pink fog is starting to lift and I am having to learn how to deal with complex emotions again. It's been years. I am having some trouble concentrating but it's slowly getting a little better. Then there is the AV, sneaking up on me when I'm a bit stressed. "Come on, you've got a handle on it... Go get a box of wine.... It's a holiday...."
Shut up AV!
Hang in there everyone. It's a process, not an event. One day at a time...
Good luck..
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 55
Originally Posted by daisy1
Can I ask what led you in the July group to stop drinking? I took an overdose and missed three days of work with a job I love, lost my partner and began to have tummy pain. I also looked at my empties and I had been drinking five bottles of wine a day. Still not entirely sure what clicked inside my drunken head - might have been the Dr I saw, he just happened to be an addiction expert and knew what to do and promised to support me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 1,303
Originally Posted by johnny555
Hi all, I'm not new, but I'm new to you. Hi Martina, hi Cissy. Casey you too! I've been back trying since some point in April. Just don't stop trying.
We can do it this time. I now know that the most important thing is to not ever pick up that first drink...it always always always leads to disaster and back to yet another day one. I am getting out of that downward crazy cycle.....you can too, we all can
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
I woke up this morning missing my ex and wanting to numb it. First craving I have had in four days. I ate a huge bowl of fruit and it's really helped.
The advice about not letting yourself getting hungry is true. Feels strange eating so much, as I barely eat usually.
I'm going to go shopping to stock up on lots and lots of things I can eat should I feel like that again.
Hope everyone is doing ok xx
The advice about not letting yourself getting hungry is true. Feels strange eating so much, as I barely eat usually.
I'm going to go shopping to stock up on lots and lots of things I can eat should I feel like that again.
Hope everyone is doing ok xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 152
Originally Posted by bighaircut
I have decided that it isn't bringing anything positive to my life. Even though it is currently difficult to not be drinking at all, in some ways it is just easier to tell myself "none" rather than the constant debate of if I would drink and how much I could maybe have. What if I would have too much? How much is too much? What if I can't stop once I have that first glass? It feels easier to just know that I won't have any and then that worry is just gone.
Welcome.
Hang on!
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 181
Originally Posted by daisy1
I woke up this morning missing my ex and wanting to numb it. First craving I have had in four days. I ate a huge bowl of fruit and it's really helped.
The advice about not letting yourself getting hungry is true. Feels strange eating so much, as I barely eat usually.
I'm going to go shopping to stock up on lots and lots of things I can eat should I feel like that again.
Hope everyone is doing ok xx
The advice about not letting yourself getting hungry is true. Feels strange eating so much, as I barely eat usually.
I'm going to go shopping to stock up on lots and lots of things I can eat should I feel like that again.
Hope everyone is doing ok xx
Angry
Lonely
Tired
Soooo very true. Especially in the evenings for me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 152
Good morning!
Thank you for the warm welcome yesterday! Today is day 1. Having my parents over for dinner later, but that won't be a problem. It's the after dinner time, watching TV and "relaxing" that does me in.
I'll take an evening walk with my husband, and do some chores upstairs to get ready for the week. I will not drink.
Have a good day all-- I'm happy to be here with you!
I'll take an evening walk with my husband, and do some chores upstairs to get ready for the week. I will not drink.
Have a good day all-- I'm happy to be here with you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 8
Watching fireworks sober was actually amazing and sweet last night. My youngest child (a preschooler) sat on my lap because of the big noises scaring him a little. He would whisper, "WOW!" with each blast. It felt amazing to have his warm little cheek pressed against mine as we watched in wonder. Had I been buzzed, I would have missed the tiny details of the night. I would have missed how good the slightly cool breeze felt, I would have missed my other kids debating which blast was the coolest or loudest or their predictions of what color each one was going to be. It was a completely beautiful night. If I can remember how great it is to be totally present for these sorts of little moments, I know I can go without drinking.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Welcome to SR, BobBFree33! Now that you've made that first leap, I hope you'll become a regular participant here. Becoming more accountable to myself and to others has been the cornerstone of my recovery this time.
Just dropping in again from the Class of May 2015, my sober Julyers! Starting day 59 here. So cool to see how quickly this class is coming together. July 2013 was the month I discovered SR so July will always have a soft spot for me. Wishing each and every one of you a happy and sober Sunday! And remember you do not have to take that first drink no matter what and as long as you don't take the first you can't take the second or third or ninth drink that will almost inevitably follow. Hang in there, Julyers!
Just dropping in again from the Class of May 2015, my sober Julyers! Starting day 59 here. So cool to see how quickly this class is coming together. July 2013 was the month I discovered SR so July will always have a soft spot for me. Wishing each and every one of you a happy and sober Sunday! And remember you do not have to take that first drink no matter what and as long as you don't take the first you can't take the second or third or ninth drink that will almost inevitably follow. Hang in there, Julyers!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 132
Originally Posted by CaseyW
Welcome to SR, BobBFree33! Now that you've made that first leap, I hope you'll become a regular participant here. Becoming more accountable to myself and to others has been the cornerstone of my recovery this time.
Just dropping in again from the Class of May 2015, my sober Julyers! Starting day 59 here. So cool to see how quickly this class is coming together. July 2013 was the month I discovered SR so July will always have a soft spot for me. Wishing each and every one of you a happy and sober Sunday! And remember you do not have to take that first drink no matter what and as long as you don't take the first you can't take the second or third or ninth drink that will almost inevitably follow. Hang in there, Julyers!
Just dropping in again from the Class of May 2015, my sober Julyers! Starting day 59 here. So cool to see how quickly this class is coming together. July 2013 was the month I discovered SR so July will always have a soft spot for me. Wishing each and every one of you a happy and sober Sunday! And remember you do not have to take that first drink no matter what and as long as you don't take the first you can't take the second or third or ninth drink that will almost inevitably follow. Hang in there, Julyers!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,374
Originally Posted by bighaircut
Watching fireworks sober was actually amazing and sweet last night. My youngest child (a preschooler) sat on my lap because of the big noises scaring him a little. He would whisper, "WOW!" with each blast. It felt amazing to have his warm little cheek pressed against mine as we watched in wonder. Had I been buzzed, I would have missed the tiny details of the night. I would have missed how good the slightly cool breeze felt, I would have missed my other kids debating which blast was the coolest or loudest or their predictions of what color each one was going to be. It was a completely beautiful night. If I can remember how great it is to be totally present for these sorts of little moments, I know I can go without drinking.
I absolutely adore this. You nailed it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 93
oh lawd, give me strength!! no, not that i want a drink - but the strength to not back down from moving on & starting a new life...evidently the husband is rethinking & sending me meme's "women are considered fragile but i've never seen anything as easily wounded as a man's ego" & then family pics from the 4th 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 51
Hi everyone, I made a personal introduction post before realizing that a big thread like this was already here. Sorry about that! I'm on Day 2 after about 4 months in recovery and then a week of complete loss of control. I have to face co-workers Monday after basically accomplishing nothing last week and my wife can still barely look at me without looking completely disgusted and ashamed. It's a tough situation, but I'm sober today and I can be sober tomorrow. Glad to be part of the class of July.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
Iam2 I'm a teeny bit envious as I keep checking my phone, emails and ipad for messages from him, and it's like a stab of pain when there is nothing. Although I know I have to move on! Relationships pah :-(
Strong enough, me too. I did zero at work last week and let people down and I'm nervous about going back tomorrow. We have to just get on with it and hope we can be forgiven x
Strong enough, me too. I did zero at work last week and let people down and I'm nervous about going back tomorrow. We have to just get on with it and hope we can be forgiven x
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