Juno11

Thanks, Dee. You too!!

Sydneyman, I also need to get my exercise program back on track. I'm going to try to kick start it on the weekend. You and I both need colonoscopies this year. At least we can commiserate....

Winslow and Grizzly, the Angry Birds movie was great!! Both my sons seemed to enjoy it though it was also good for younger kids. There were some funny inside jokes and my kids got them. My older son said it was his favorite movie of the year so far

Midton, hope your week is cruising along nicely. I haven't been thinking about drinking at all. Long may it last. There are too many other good things to do in life rather than waste my nights feeling sick and barfing in the toilet. Yuck!!

So I have carpets in the bedrooms upstairs. Hard wood on the main level with ceramic tile in the kitchen. Marble tile in the bathrooms (though I still need to re-do two of the four). And the lower level will be laminate with carpeted stairs. I guess a real mixed bag!!

Hope everyone had a good Thursday.

sydneyman

So on my lunch break I ended up in a bottle shop/liquor store....!!!
I decided to make a beef ragu/meat sauce on the weekend and it needs a bottle of red!!! This is the first time obviously that I have been to a bottle shop since drinking..
I walked in saw a bottle on special paid and walked out.. Felt strange.. I didnt spend more than 3-4minutes in the shop.. Oddly it did not want me to buy anything to drink.
Ok, need to advise you that this meat sauce I make cooks for 6-8hrs.. So the alcohol will definetley be removed.. I make a big batch of this every winter and freeze portions to have later on. I am planning to make a sweet potato lasagne as I am craving a lasagne but minus the pasta..
So tonight I leave work with a bottle of red, its friday hmmmm, but no I am not tempted. I told my partner I was buying it and he said to be sure to bring it home.. I said of course.. He hasnt had a drink at all for the same amount of time as me. I said go ahead if you want to but he said he doesnt want to. I think he is feeling the health benfits himself, sleeping better and waking up 430 am to go to the gym..
Ok..my lunch break is almost over so going back to my desk.
Take care!!

Juno11

Syndeyman, I hope all went well with making the sauce. Just want to check on you and make sure you didn't have any temptations with drinking. I'm a terrible cook myself so I only make simple dishes that never involve alcohol. Good and bad, I guess. I do a lot of takeout food since I'm so busy and have kids with different tastes and issues. Last night we did Subway again because my younger son asked for it. It's like the only restaurant he likes so we went there. So let us know how the making the sauce went, okay?

I had a terrible night's sleep. My older son (the one with autism) woke us all up at 1:00 am by loud noise and cursing at a video game. I got up and told him he couldn't behave like this, was not supposed to be playing and had school in the morning. He got angry at me and started directing all of his anger at me, cursing at me and told me I was an awful Mom, etc. My younger son woke up and felt bad and came and gave me a hug. That was nice but we were all up when we were supposed to be sleeping. I managed to calm my son down - he really wanted to calm down - gave him a melatonin to try to sleep and I had to end up taking some of anxiety/sleep meds because I was wide awake. Ugh. Now I feel very groggy this morning. Oh well, at least it's Friday and I'm not drinking, which is the worst thing I can ever do for myself. At least I know that.

Have a wonderful Friday all - I will try to turn this around.

Juno11

One more thing... a benefit of sobriety. I have noticed, and this is going to sound really strange, but the skin on my face gets noticeably softer and smoother after Day 10 or so after drinking. Up until Day 10 it's okay but kind of rough at times, but after I get beyond 10, it just feels soft. So strange that I notice this, but it IS related to drinking alcohol. Now at Day 13 my skin feels wonderful. These are the added benefits of not drinking - my body is able to heal and be the best it can be! Yay!!!

grizzlybearblue

Good morning!
Sydneyman, way to go getting through that situation!! Keep up the good work!! You're doing great : )
Juno, glad you all enjoyed the movie! It looks funny. Sorry about the rough night you had. That was really sweet of your son to come give you a hug : ) I hope your day goes smoothly from here on out.
I had a day yesterday. I really wanted to come on here and vent so bad, but I didnt get a chance. One of the girls at work bought breakfast burritos and made it clear she bought one for everyone but me. How rude can you be?! I was just like I have no idea what your problem is, but clearly you have one. Her attitude toward me is downright mean sometimes.
The thing that's really bothering me is what is happening to me after running. Twice again this week, I cramp really bad after running and blood comes from a bad place. I'm sorry, this is gross, but I am really alarmed. I get light headed and nauseated . I looked it up last night, and it's a condition called runners colitis. It fit me to a t. It's when blood shifts from the gut to the muscles, and apparently it's really serious. I have got to go to the doctor. You all know how important running is to me. I am so sad that it's actually causing damage to my body. I've got to get this figured out because not running is not an option for me. Ok, it's going to be ok...
Off to get ready for work. I hope everyone has a great day today!!

Juno11

Grizzly, I'm headed off to work soon and saw your post and just wanted to comment. That co-worker of yours is awful, simply awful. I'm trying to think of ways to deal with her, but I can't at the moment. I guess my best advice is to ignore her - I know that is hard and sometimes impossible at work. But as best you can. I wish I had some other ideas.

RE: runner's colitis, I had never heard of that before but it sounds terrible. And scary. I'm glad you're going to a doctor - do that soon! I'd hate for anything to happen to you - you mean so much to us!!! Try not to worry about the running and just get seen right away!

Re: my son's sleep issues, I'm thinking of taking him to this sleep doctor that I know. Not because he has any sleep disorders, but that he doesn't have good sleep habits. Hearing it from a professional may be just the thing he needs - when you hear it from your Mom it just doesn't have the same impact. We're all tired today and this sucks.

Okay, gotta run.

Winslow

Hey all,couldn't post this morning cuz I had to take my daughter to get the other side of her back cauterized earlier than last time,I'm an early bird but that don't mean I'm ready to fly that early haha,Grizz,get.thee tto the doc please,kinda scary,I'm gonna Google it after I post this,Juno,my skin looks better and is softer too,also great to not have dry eyes or chapped lips, amazing the number al does on us,sheesh,hi Sydney,Midton and Dee hope everyone is enjoying the day😊

Midton

I'm up early and feeling chirpy. I'm going for a drive to the neighbouring prefecture and then going to hike up to a shrine built into the mountain. I intent to periscope as much as I can but don't have much bandwidth left.

I also see some light at the end of the tunnel regarding my elbow which has been bothering me since March. Recently I've been able to do more at the gym and today I woke up pain free I think. I say I think because I've been up an hour and just realised my elbow isn't too sore.

Feeling great. Have a nice weekend.

Juno11

Glad you're feeling great, Midton. Hope your daughter is doing okay Winslow!

I'm home from work and the work week is over. I still have some work to catch up on this weekend. I have lots to do. But I'm not overly stressed because I don't mind a few hours of work on the weekend to catch up.... I also plan to exercise both days and get the papers/ bills done.

I'm realizing I need a very chilled out weekend. Very relaxed, not much in the way of activities or socializing, etc. I used to think of myself as a really outgoing, social person. With alcohol off the table, I realize I like being by myself more. My ideal weekend would be to hang out at home with my dog, have time for projects (creative and organizational), lots of TV/movie watching, lots of sleep, exercise, and some reading. I'll try to do as much of that as possible this weekend (but I still need to put in the work time.)

Yay for the weekend!

sydneyman

Morning from Sydney...Grizz that sounds terrible. both things.. First of all I would actually face that rude co worker of yours. That's borderline bullying, it certainly is passive aggressive behaviour on her behalf. I wouldn't put up with that. Grizz as I always say the Karma bus will stop at everybody's door one day. That's the way I look at nasty and vile people.
Get to that doc asap grizz!! They may be able to fix it the sooner you get it looked at. I am sure they will be able to "fix" it perhaps you need to do walking for a while to let it all heal..
Finally I went for my walk this morning. I got a shin splint in my left leg. That just tells you time to get back to it!! It was nice. I bought Keith Urbans new cd on iTunes and listened to it. I am not a real country music fan but I like him (Australian) and also Blake Shelton. I am more of a pop latest music fan.. But then again I guess I listen to everything as I also like Bowie and Bryan Ferry etc..
Juno- I am the same when I quit drinking my puffy face goes down and just becomes like a babys bottom. So if that happens on the outside what happens inside!!! Good on Day 13..I bet you be tired after work with interrupted sleep, have that chilled weekend!!
The bottle of red with its contenets!!! is still on the kitchen bench waiting to be added to the meat sauce once I get to it this morning.
I went to the grocery store on my way after my walk and saw chicken bones on special. I have decided to make chicken stock for a Vietnamese Pho soup for the working week. So a busy weekend cooking, I do love cooking as it relaxes me and I can listen to music and keeps me busy. This time around there is no wine glass added and I don't miss it. This is day 17 sober and my third weekend dry. I am getting used to it now. The benefits of not drinking are now so clear.
Happy weekend to you all. Midton- enjoy your periscoping. Need to check all this out this weekend, this periscoping I mean!!!

grizzlybearblue

Thank you all for your concern!! That is really sweet : ) I really appreciate it!!
I went to the doctor this afternoon. I had some invasive procedures done and I've got to do blood work and X-rays on Monday. I realized this has been going on a lot longer than I thought. I have cramps for months at a time, and I just kept blaming it on period cramps, but they never went away. My family has told me for years I don't process things normally, and I just blew it off. It's funny until it's not funny anymore. The blood off and on I blamed on my drinking, but that's been out of the equation for almost 8 months now. My doctor said I'll need a colonoscopy to see what's going on in there. That makes three of us here that need it soon! She asked if I feel weak and lightheaded a lot, and I said yes. She thinks it's colitis and said it can be debilitating to deal with. She said you get put on a bunch of pills to try to get the situation under control, and eventually your colon can just fall out. Yikes!! Then you have to have a colostomy bag. We are doing every test we know to do to figure out for sure what this is and how to deal with it. The really good news is now that I'm sober, I can rule out alcohol as a factor and figure out what's really going on.
Everyone is doing so well!! I'm so proud of you all : )

sydneyman

Oh Grizz, I am sorry about the news, but that's the worst case scenario right, the colostomy bag?
Yes us 3 going in for a colonoscopy.. Grizz when you have it done ask to have an endoscopy at the same time. They put a tube in your mouth to your stomach and check the oesophagus at the same time. You might as well as history with drinking can damage all that as well. I always have both done at the same time as you are out of it anyway...Try to keep positive.. at leats your not damaging the stomach further with alcohol. Try to enjoy the weekend!! Just emptied the red wine in the sauce!! so gone!!

grizzlybearblue

Yes, that is the worst case, sydneyman. The doctor said she saw it happen to a friend of hers. He dealt with colitis for years until his rectum fell out. I was like oh my gosh!! I definitely got really squeamish after hearing that. I'm thinking/hoping we are catching my issue pretty early. You bring up a good point with the endoscopy, thank you! I get acid reflux often still. You are so right- atleast I'm not doing further damage by continuing to drink. That's about the worst thing I could do at this point. She asked if I was still not drinking, and I said that is correct, and she said good. I didn't deal with this while I was drinking because I didn't feel like it. I sure neglected the self care there for awhile.
Enjoy your yummy food!! It sounds delicious : )

sydneyman

You really have a reason to stay away from alcohol now Grizz. It sounds scary but I am sure they can work out some treatment that can help you.
Yes I used to stay away from doctors,dentist etc when I was drinking, If I had an appointement it had to be first thing in the morning, so that I could spend the rest of the day drinking. Its sad really, but an addiction is sad.
Yes my meat sauce keeps on bubbling away 3 hours so far.. Now another 5 hours to go....It must be late evening for you in the US..Late afternoon here. Ok will come back tomorrow.

Winslow

Hey all,Grizz I'm so glad you went to the doc,I've never heard of colitis before how freaky,the human body is an amazing,gross,thing haha bit of the blues for me,I'm not sure what it is but I'm blaming the full moon,its just easier that way than analyzing everything else,hello Sydney,Midton, Juno and Dee,hope we all have a great Saturday😊

Juno11

Hi guys,

First of all, sorry you are dealing with this Grizzly. That just stinks. But the good news is that (1) you are sober and have been for a while and (2) you are under good medical care and it sounds like they are doing a good job of figuring out the issues and how to take care of them. You will get through this!!! My daughter had a form of colitis these past few months. It was an infectious colitis caused by use of an antibiotic and it's called C-Diff. Her symptoms were: nausea, diarrhea, some bloody diarrhea, loss of appetite, cramping and weight loss. Of course I was very scared and stressed about all of this. She seems to have recovered and has gained back the weight she lost and the diarrhea has stopped, but when she first got to boarding school I had thought it came back which is why I was so stressed.... but she seems better now - may that continue!

My colonoscopy is scheduled for June 27th. I have time to prepare. I have to have my ex watch the kids and just have time for myself to deal with it. There's a lot of prep involved. Will keep you guys posted but that's over a month away so not worrying about it right now!

Today's another rainy day. I'm not bothered by it for some reason - probably because I have so much to do anyway. I'm going to head to yoga soon to get my workouts "back on track."

Day 14 and I'm feeling good and strong!

Juno11

Winslow, sorry you're feeling a bit blue. I give you permission to blame the full moon. I blame the moon for lots of things Mostly I use the new moon as a time to make new resolutions. My sobriety date this time fell two days after the new moon. Close enough - I'll take it.

The weather here is very gray and damp - it might make one blue. Trying to stay positive. Yoga really helped this morning! My physical recovery has begun!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Juno11

I hate that I still have wayward thoughts. My Mom was here helping me this afternoon. She left around 3:45 pm. My AV then kicked into action and said to me, "Aha! She's gone! You are now free to run to the wine store and pick up a bottle and treat yourself on a Saturday night!" This is what I did two weeks ago and and suffered tremendously as a result, all through the night and through the next day. I'm not doing that to myself again. I'm going to get through this. I just had some oreos and milk for an afternoon snack. One thing is for sure - cookies, milk and wine do NOT go together well!!!

sydneyman

Day 18 this Sunday morning. Assembling my lasagne and then getting ready to go out for lunch. It looks like another sunny day. Not sure if the walk will happen, perhaps in the afternoon. I have never walked in the afternoon so that could actually be good. Have a great Sunday all. Stay away from the bottle shop Juno..no more lottery tickets!

Juno11

Haha... Sydneyman, I stayed away from the Bottle Shop. And you're right - no more lottery tickets for me. Let's be real - I never win anyway!!

Instead, my son and I grabbed dinner at Five Guys (a burger shop here). I got a vanilla diet coke which was quite yummy. Maybe not the healthiest dinner, but it's sure better for me than a bottle of wine.

I feel a certain sense of victory tonight getting through this test. It wasn't THAT hard, but I could have easily caved in to that voice that said, "Come on. You can go get a bottle of wine. Just do it!" Now that I'm building up some decent sober time I suspect my AV is going to get a bit desperate and start trying different tactics. I've got to be ready for that. I have a very clever and sneaky AV. I must be on alert and ready to deal with it.

All's good here. Going to run to CVS to pick up a prescription, put gas in my car and then chill out and watch some movies or TV.... hope everyone is doing well tonight (or Sunday day!)