GardenMama

That sounds like a great date night to me! And I completely support your effort to get your body moving, Seren. It is hard to put our bodies first sometimes, but then I try to remember that my body IS me, not separate, and I need it to be healthy, so I can keep BEING me. That's just my own little kick-in-the-butt to get moving, stretching, walking, sweating.

Right now, I am trying to not text my RAD. I just want to know how she's doing; there's no drama to report. We saw her on Easter and had a lovely meal and normal conversation in her new apartment. We talked about the baby, labor/delivery, life with a newborn, etc. It was really good. Now, a week later, I have not heard a peep. She's 21. I didn't call my mom every week when I was 21...Maybe I'll just send a little love-you text...

In other news, I am kind of struggling with a work issue, and trying to use tools I have learned in NarAnon to deal with my feelings. It helps.

Ilovemysonjj

Good Morning all! I did hear from JJ this morning and he had relapsed since Thursday. I of course knew that already. He is working with Freedom Ranch to get in this week. I am so done with this nonsense. In other news, my hubby and brother and I spent the glorious Sunday taking care of our home, cleaning and doing lawn work. It was very gratifying to see my lawn take shape again!
I will keep us all informed as to JJ's saga if he finally does what he says and gets into the program.

Twofour

Peaceful weekend with my little guy. We enjoyed some time outside for yard work and dinner out. Stayed busy. Which is always wonderful to keep mind of stuff. Spoke to my middle guy. Loving LA. Already working on an addition out there loving the sun. Thank God...so happy for him. A little more peace for today.
Seren. Thanks for always checking in. Glad you had good weekend.
Ilovemysonjj. Sorry about your guy but as you said you felt it... Glad some sunshine and yard work for you too. Garden momma keep working the tools they help me at work at times as well.....

Ilovemysonjj

I saw JJ today. Sober again. I spoke to Freedom Ranch and they had three requirements.
1: He needed an ID.
2: He needed a TB test
3: He needed a social security card.

I took the time to go to DMV to apply for ID , went to our insurance and got the TB test (which takes 48 hours to check for clearance)
I drove him to the SS office and he applied for his social security card.

The ranch has a program for people waiting to get in. I drove him there (its a sober living apartment complex owned by the Ranch Director of Operations) and met a 67 year old man who has been in recovery for 15 years. JJ's roomate is an ex biker with 20 years clean. He will stay there for a few days until the TB test is done.

I know I had a choice here, but I truly hope for the ranch to be the place it all comes together.
He is safe and sober and in 2 -3 days hopefully at the Ranch.
Momma is tired but I feel like it is the best I could do.
Love you all. The day was very productive and JJ was entirely present and sober.

Twofour

Ilovemysonjj.

No one judging and he didn't come back to your house. Breath momma .....you are ok. Today. Hugs.

Twofish

Dear Theresa,
You're JJs momma. I would of done the same thing to help one of
my girls, if they desired sobriety.
Yes, we get tired, don't we? Just like our kids are getting sick of being
sick, we are getting tired of being tired...
My younger RAD, turns 21 this Friday, I'm scared of what she is gonna
do...will she honor her sobriety or will she "party hardy"?? Red flags are
Flying all over the place...
Friday is a long way off, I think I'll spend my time NOT worrying about
something I can't stop or fix. She's got the tools...will she use them...?
I will say a prayer that JJ gets into the ranch quickly and has a positive recovery
and that his momma gets some rest. sleep...
Love to you Theresa, I will be thinking good thoughts...
TF
PS I agree with Twofour above...breathe...

INgal

Hi Seren, I needed these posts today. Rough weekend. Thank you.

Seren

GardenMama I think a text just telling her you love her is fine. I'm so glad you had a happy Easter weekend!

Twofour, I think your weekend sounds fun! Outside, in the yard, and then a fun, special dinner with your youngest one I'm happy to hear that your middle son is having fun on the left coast, too!

Teresa, IMHO, I would have probably done the same thing to help him as long as he was sober at the time. It sounds like he is surrounded by big, tough, long-time sober companions now I hope and pray that JJ will really want sobriety and a bright, clear future this time.

INgal I've read your thread over in FFSA. Please take good care!

Twofour

Well good morning all. I got two calls from rehab yesterday. One during day. My son was wondering if I would mine sending a few pack of smokes. He sounded good. We laughed a little cause i couldnt figure out how to do it on line Again said the program is deep and intense, small groups which he likes. Ok I'm in. I don't mind sending smokes I know it's hard enough to get rid of one habit. Then I get a call last night 10;30. He mom. Thinking about you. I miss you. I love you and tell everyone I love and miss them. I just needed to tell you. I'm half asleep and you know that feeling when phone rings in evening. All sounds good but my radar is saying. Family meetings happening in two weeks and he is working on my mom strings maybe to come back to our state for sober recovery and maybe even here at my house.. I have to keep working on my program to have the strength to say no. For me it has only been 4 months. But they have been the longest 4 months of my life. Loved the call. Wish I could just believe that was all it was need some smokes and love ya.........

BellaBlue

A strange week for me. I traveled across country to see my daughter and family. I was not sure I really was emotionally up for the trip - turns out I wasn't. I'm still not ok (and no fun at all) from my AS's gut-wrenching behavior last fall. I wish I would have waited.

Seren

Twofour just remember that you get to decide regardless of how much pressure you may get from your son. He may be genuine, he may be trying to manipulate you...time will tell. I hope, for now, you can enjoy that he is in a safe environment and doing well. Will you be talking to him about his plans after rehab during the upcoming family visit?

Oh, Bella! I'm so sorry that your visit did not turn out as you hoped, but you did try! Sometimes time just takes, well, time. How was your daughter when you saw her?

Twofour

Seren. Yes we are going to discuss after living options. His counselors feels he would do best staying down where he is an transition into there sober livingm program. Same people some same staff and good structure. I know that he loves me and that he wil say can I come home and recover next step with my family and I have to say no. I would love to say yes but I did that already and it didn't work. I love him enough to say no. After all that I have read. I feel like that's the only choice. I have decided to go on trip to see him. I owe myself that and him as well. I want him to know I support sobriety and him. He has 49 days sober. Longest time stopped I imagine in a year or 2. I don't even know. Im scared to go. Don't know what to expect. Glad my best friend going on road trip with me I need her....ex going also. Don't want to spend time with him at all. I think I m scared to go down and find out more I don't know about. Not sure what to expect. But going. Thanks always Seren. For posting and caring....

Ilovemysonjj

Dear Two, what I have learned is acceptance of addiction takes away the shame and shock. It is so horrible to see them in the throes of addiction, but in early recovery, they should and do talk about what they have done. I find that accepting that my son has done these things helps ME in my recovery. Hearing the "worst" is hard, but at the end it is the truth. Honesty and accountability are key elements for recovery.
You will be okay. Hugs
TT

Ilovemysonjj

Update: Freedom Ranch road trip starts at 7:30 AM Pacific tomorrow. His only request was boxers and foot powder LOL! I am throwing in McDonalds Sausage McMuffin sandwich deal as a "bonus" LOL.

Loves to all.
TT

irisgardens

Loved coming here and seeing all of you...and Seren...thank you for the shout out!

good and busy week...made progress last weekend...son decided to pay his rent and to stay...took a few days to get feeling better from sticking to the boundary...but got a lot done...that had been piled up.

tomorrow hoping to see my grandson (he told his mom he wants to see nana)--and that is good...content with this....

Twofour

Thanks. I know that. I don't know why I feel afraid but I am working on that. So glad your son is going to the ranch now.....I pray for our boys....hugs

BellaBlue

seren, my daughter and grands are well. She feels sad over brother's behavior, but she is a busy mom and doesn't dwell on it. Unlike me.

Twofish

Dear all the mommas,
Well, my younger daughter, who turned 21 on the 17th, as I feared
DID drink on her bday and had the stupid AV tell her to text a pic of
herself drinking, and send it off to me. Sad.
Otherwise, I'm ok. How is everyone else?
Love to you all!
I am dreading the weekends
TF

Twofour

Hi all. Sorry about your daughter Twofish. They just don't know what they do to us..........life ok Living and learning. 10 days till I see my son in rehab. I am ready. I miss him but feel like I have grown so much these last 3 weeks. Sadness has kicked in since all of his gang are graduating college next week. I hurt for him about that. I selfishly hurt for me about that. I have never been an envious woman But I feel cheated. Stupid I guess. I love some of these guys but don't want to talk to them right now. Hope everyone is well.

Seren

Hi everyone!!!! Whew, it has been a week, but nothing to do with addiction

I have finally set a defense date for my PhD!!!

Needless to say, I'm even busier than before for the next several weeks....

Twofish, I'm really sorry that your daughter had to go and do that. *sigh* Delete and try to enjoy your weekend!

Twofour, I'm really glad you are ready for your trip. I know you will be happy to see your son but also nervous about how he is doing. He is in just the right place to get the support he needs. I pray it continues!