For the parents...daily support thread
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear Seren and my treasured SR Family,
I'm trying so hard to stay and remain positive as I become "independent"
so close to the USA's "Independence Day".
Addiction may have played a big role in ruining my marriage, but, I'm going
to fight like hell to NOT allow it to ruin me!
July 2nd at 8:30 am CDT...prayers and positive thoughts are more than
welcomed...
Love my SR friends and SR family,
TF
I'm trying so hard to stay and remain positive as I become "independent"
so close to the USA's "Independence Day".
Addiction may have played a big role in ruining my marriage, but, I'm going
to fight like hell to NOT allow it to ruin me!
July 2nd at 8:30 am CDT...prayers and positive thoughts are more than
welcomed...
Love my SR friends and SR family,
TF
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Dearest TF, sending you hugs, prayers for peace and support!
Seren, so good to "hear" from you again! Sending you prayers for a wonderful experience with your dissertation!.
My life is quiet and peaceful (for today) and I am looking forward to a fun filled weekend with pool time and fireworks!
Hugs to us all.
TT
Seren, so good to "hear" from you again! Sending you prayers for a wonderful experience with your dissertation!.
My life is quiet and peaceful (for today) and I am looking forward to a fun filled weekend with pool time and fireworks!
Hugs to us all.
TT
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 793
I will be thinking of you on Thursday, TwoFish. It will be a hard day, but you have come through worse, and you will find peace in your independence, in good time. Sending you strength and love...
Best wishes, Seren, for a defense that is as easy as could possibly be!
Congratulations, Dr.!
Best wishes, Seren, for a defense that is as easy as could possibly be!
Congratulations, Dr.!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear Seren,
I've missed you! Not much changing in my world except I'm stronger!! No forcing the addicts in my life into recovery, I'm their momma, I have a ton of hope, but this is their disease....and their battle. I gave it to God...
Hugs to you my friend!
TF
I've missed you! Not much changing in my world except I'm stronger!! No forcing the addicts in my life into recovery, I'm their momma, I have a ton of hope, but this is their disease....and their battle. I gave it to God...
Hugs to you my friend!
TF
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Thank you, Lovenjoy! Unfortunately, for me, well is not exactly how I would describe how I've been:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...dont-want.html
My stepson and I haven't spoken in weeks. But then again, my husband is the one who mostly spoke with him. Since Mr. Seren has been gone, I did endure one lovely 'drunk as a lord' phone conversation with him. Oh well...
I'll try to catch up with everyone's stories over the coming weeks. I have missed everyone here, too!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...dont-want.html
My stepson and I haven't spoken in weeks. But then again, my husband is the one who mostly spoke with him. Since Mr. Seren has been gone, I did endure one lovely 'drunk as a lord' phone conversation with him. Oh well...
I'll try to catch up with everyone's stories over the coming weeks. I have missed everyone here, too!
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Hey Everyone (especially Seren - still keeping you in my thoughts & Prayers!!)
The PINK Acres home is doing ok - Mr.Pink's youngest son was released from jail (6 month stint) in January & has been living with us - (This is our granddaughter's dad)
So far he is sober & seems to be on the right track. BUT it is still an adjustment. especially for our Sunshine. She has lots of unresolved anger at him, but we are working on it ~ we started back at her counseling sessions which is helping.
Mr. PINK is trying to stay calm - he struggles with MYOB (minding his own business) but I trying to pleasantly remind him - lol
So that's what's going on in our pink world . . .
sending PINK HUGS to all
The PINK Acres home is doing ok - Mr.Pink's youngest son was released from jail (6 month stint) in January & has been living with us - (This is our granddaughter's dad)
So far he is sober & seems to be on the right track. BUT it is still an adjustment. especially for our Sunshine. She has lots of unresolved anger at him, but we are working on it ~ we started back at her counseling sessions which is helping.
Mr. PINK is trying to stay calm - he struggles with MYOB (minding his own business) but I trying to pleasantly remind him - lol
So that's what's going on in our pink world . . .
sending PINK HUGS to all
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: ocala, fl
Posts: 5
Hello all,
Thank you for sharing your lives. My 23 year old son has been sober for 6 months. He is living with me as he gets his life back together and finds and job. I really struggle with what are healthy bounderies. He went to a friends house from AA 3 days ago and I have not heard from him since. His phone is off. I am so worried, I know I have no control over his sobriety. He could have relapsed or he could just be an inconsiderate 23 year old. I don't know how far I should push looking for him.
Thank you for sharing your lives. My 23 year old son has been sober for 6 months. He is living with me as he gets his life back together and finds and job. I really struggle with what are healthy bounderies. He went to a friends house from AA 3 days ago and I have not heard from him since. His phone is off. I am so worried, I know I have no control over his sobriety. He could have relapsed or he could just be an inconsiderate 23 year old. I don't know how far I should push looking for him.
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello jennybee, and Welcome to SR!
Ah, yes, the disappearing acts. My late husband and I knew them well with my stepson. At one point, it had been more than a week, so we filed a missing person's report. This was during what we like to call his fun-filled crack days.
I'm sorry to say that it sounds like your son is 'running and gunning' at the moment. I'm also sorry if the following sounds blunt or disrespectful to you, but if history repeats itself, and with addiction, it usually does, your son will reappear when he is 1) out of money; 2) has been kicked out by his friends; or 3) just needs a place to shower/crash for the night.
If he has been a binge over these past few days, then you may want to ask yourself if you really want him back in your home when he returns. At 23 years of age, he is old enough to care for himself. Find a job, rent an apartment, do his own laundry, etc.
Good news is, you really don't have to make all these decisions for yourself all at once. Consider what it is you are willing to do for your son, and remember that allowing him to do things for himself may be the best thing for him in the long run.
Please know you are not at all alone!! We really do get it. Keep reading, keep posting...hang in there!!!
Ah, yes, the disappearing acts. My late husband and I knew them well with my stepson. At one point, it had been more than a week, so we filed a missing person's report. This was during what we like to call his fun-filled crack days.
I'm sorry to say that it sounds like your son is 'running and gunning' at the moment. I'm also sorry if the following sounds blunt or disrespectful to you, but if history repeats itself, and with addiction, it usually does, your son will reappear when he is 1) out of money; 2) has been kicked out by his friends; or 3) just needs a place to shower/crash for the night.
If he has been a binge over these past few days, then you may want to ask yourself if you really want him back in your home when he returns. At 23 years of age, he is old enough to care for himself. Find a job, rent an apartment, do his own laundry, etc.
Good news is, you really don't have to make all these decisions for yourself all at once. Consider what it is you are willing to do for your son, and remember that allowing him to do things for himself may be the best thing for him in the long run.
Please know you are not at all alone!! We really do get it. Keep reading, keep posting...hang in there!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Welcome Jennybee!
I'm so sorry you are being, no forced to ride this rollarcoaster ride
called addiction.
I'm in agreement with Seren. My daughters would "disappear" for
weeks, sometimes fresh out of rehab...I would fret, and worry, feel guilty
go looking for them, call their cell phones, call their friends...they came back
when they wanted to, usually because they had no where to go or
were hungry or out of money...or want a hug....they are 21 and 24yrs old.
You know what? Take care of YOU, read those stickies above, read OUR
stories and try to breathe...
Hugs to you and prayers being said. We do care.
TF
I'm so sorry you are being, no forced to ride this rollarcoaster ride
called addiction.
I'm in agreement with Seren. My daughters would "disappear" for
weeks, sometimes fresh out of rehab...I would fret, and worry, feel guilty
go looking for them, call their cell phones, call their friends...they came back
when they wanted to, usually because they had no where to go or
were hungry or out of money...or want a hug....they are 21 and 24yrs old.
You know what? Take care of YOU, read those stickies above, read OUR
stories and try to breathe...
Hugs to you and prayers being said. We do care.
TF
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: ocala, fl
Posts: 5
Hello, Thanks for your comments. I got in contact with his sponsor and my son texted me. He and 2 friends from AA relapsed and drove to Arizona ( we are in Florida) I guess the guy who drove is from there. The friend wanted to stay longer. In my son's text he said he would call later but no return call yet. I am not suprised, I get all this academicaly but that does not make it any easier. My heart is breaking .
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Hello SR family and welcome Jennybee. I want to let you know as a mother of a recovering heroin addict, it is so hard when they relapse (been there done that a ton of times) and really they never understand "what the big deal is" and why it hurts us so bad? My son has struggled in the real world, he does much better with structure. I found that every time I let him come back home, POW! a Relapse! We finally had enough in May of 2014 and since then he has been improving/set back and then finally this last few months, getting a plan for his future.
JJ is living at a 9 month recovery program based on AA principles. He just completed his 4th month and they now will let him get a part time job. He eventually can work full time and the cost of this program is in his budget.
So far so good, but my rose colored glasses are off. I know that relapses happen and the "running and gunning" is a possibility.
Please keep posting and reading.
Dearest Seren, I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I will be sure to keep you in my prayers. I hope your stepson finds his way to sobriety and that your peace is maintained while you are healing from your loss.
Love
TT
JJ is living at a 9 month recovery program based on AA principles. He just completed his 4th month and they now will let him get a part time job. He eventually can work full time and the cost of this program is in his budget.
So far so good, but my rose colored glasses are off. I know that relapses happen and the "running and gunning" is a possibility.
Please keep posting and reading.
Dearest Seren, I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I will be sure to keep you in my prayers. I hope your stepson finds his way to sobriety and that your peace is maintained while you are healing from your loss.
Love
TT
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: ocala, fl
Posts: 5
Still no word from my son.
I pray for him. I have gone to a couple of al anon meetings, but have not found a group I feel comfortable with. I do keep going back and trying different groups.
I started to see a counselor. I text my son "I love him and am worried about him" ( per my counselor's suggestion)
I think about what I will say/do if and when he calls me. I worry and get mad and dream about getting a call that he is dead or in jail and cry and cry some more.
I don't feel as if I have moved beyond where I was weeks ago......
I pray for him. I have gone to a couple of al anon meetings, but have not found a group I feel comfortable with. I do keep going back and trying different groups.
I started to see a counselor. I text my son "I love him and am worried about him" ( per my counselor's suggestion)
I think about what I will say/do if and when he calls me. I worry and get mad and dream about getting a call that he is dead or in jail and cry and cry some more.
I don't feel as if I have moved beyond where I was weeks ago......
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Dear Jenny, no word usually means they are on a run. Once the money runs out OR they go to jail... Then they will call you. My son disappeared after burglarizing our home and he was gone for almost 4 months. I was a basket case! I found so much support here on SR. The parents who had walked before me, they helped me see that my situation is not unique. Your son knows you love him. He is not replying because he is in active addiction, using and not ready to stop. If he contacts you, I pray you can keep your boundaries in tact. I always offered a ride to rehab or detox. Some times I made the mistake of getting sucked in and offered more, but over time, it became very obvious to me what his agenda was.
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
jennybee 
I understand how hard this is...sometimes just letting the tears come can be very healing. I hope that at some point in the not-too-distant future, your son will at least call to let you know he is "ok". Any time you need to come here and vent your fears or ask questions, please do. We get it. We have lived it. I'm just so sorry!
I understand how hard this is...sometimes just letting the tears come can be very healing. I hope that at some point in the not-too-distant future, your son will at least call to let you know he is "ok". Any time you need to come here and vent your fears or ask questions, please do. We get it. We have lived it. I'm just so sorry!
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