Dee74

Part 4 is here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-4-a-20.html

D

Paix Amour

Thanks for the new thread Dee

And thanks for the links in the other thread "Im feeling the pinch"

I hope you got a good rest

Paix Amour

Hi everyone

I had a wonderful late afternoon - early evening with my son. It was so wonderful seeing him. He was ecstatic as well. I kept it plain and simple. Picked him up at 3.30pm on the field where all his friends play afterschool, went straight to the diary where he chose an iceblock, came home, he ate it, got changed, walked to playground where I "did the scooter" whilst he "did the skateboard". He requested that I chose which mode of transport I wanted to ride on! I thought "arrhhh not the skateboard just get Coco". So on the scooter I went! Then we got pick up pizza on the way home, ate it whilst watching a movie firmly cuddled up on the couch, Bliss.

A good quarter of the time I used to sit down on the seat at our local playground and sip wine from a coloured sipper drink bottle whilst he played. I just gave the occasional wave and said "yay well done, what a clever boy etc".

I am so ashamed that Ive not engaged fully in my sons life for the past 8 years! Ive only run on 3 cylinders, when 4 were available. One was incapacitated by alcohol.

He has just gone to bed, so I thought I will pop in here and share my experience.

I was really struggling from about 11am - 3pm, and AV was very persistent and intense. I got close to the edge of the cliff.

Outonthetiles

Back from a run at the middle school in the middle of the night. I drove down to the school and put my keys on a post by the track with my water. When getting water I must have knocked my keys into the uncut grass in the inside field, so I just spent 20 minutes feeling around in knee high grass for my keys by the light of the moon.

Paix Amour

Hi OOTT

Ha you would've probably spent much longer if drinking. I have a wee torch on my key ring.

You were so lovely and supportive today, I very much appreciate it. Your chosen words REALLY struck a cord and jolted me back to sober reality. Thanks.

CuteNGayYay

Wow already part 5? Love it! Thanks Dee. Goodnight all. Got thru day 5. Battling thru the thoughts of all the bad things that've happened cuz of my recent drinking binges and trying to focus on the future.

Paix Amour

It seems a lot of us struggled today. I wonder why?

Dee74

All good here thanks Cococo

It's Friday night for some of us - that may be a factor?

D

Paix Amour

Thats great Dee. I get them too, visual ones, bright lights arrhhh not nice. Glad youre better.

Oh yeah, I guess work hard all work come home and drink cause no work on the weekend (not that's any justification), I hardly drank on the weekends so cant relate because I don't 'work' as such (not in paid employment)

OldTomato

Another new thread? We are getting through these quickly! Thanks Dee.

I have my favourite morning meeting today and then I'm off to volunteer for the afternoon. Easy day. I've also filled my weekend and Monday with plans, I usually struggle with those days so I'm hoping keeping busy will defeat my AV for this week. Nothing to worry about!

Coco - It's great that you can be there for your son properly now. Addiction makes us do crazy things. Well done for staying strong during your cravings.

Yeah, the weekends are difficult for a lot of people. I drank during work so it didn't really make much difference to me. But now I rarely work weekends so boredom becomes a massive trigger for me then!

CuteNGay - Congrats on getting through Day 5! It'll get better, keep fighting!

Paix Amour

Hi CNGY

5 days is quite an accomplishment (trickiest part). Well done. You are posting a lot in here which we all love reading about. Keep posting and reading whenever you need/want to.

What are your plans for the weekend? Good to plan ahead.

C x

jobei

Hey everyone I'm so grateful to be sober right now and for the support that I get from reading your posts. I am grateful to see Dee still hard at work helping people and my old friend jeni getting involved with this new class. Coco it sounds like you had an amazing time with your son it brings back memores of my daughter and walking to the park with her while I was half in the bag. We owe it to ourselves to give ourselves a chance to be there for them like you said with all cylinders operating. Oldtomato I also drank during work what madness?! I just don't want to do it anymore. CuteNGay we both joined this site at similar times I remember I hope you're feeling ok tonight.

Paix Amour

Thank you OldT

Youre 100% correct. One thing Ive noticed in the past 3 days (been sober almost 7 days) is that my outlook seems brighter, its very difficult to describe actually, its like more of my brain cells are firing/connected, Im more on to it in every respect, memory, picking up on emotions around me, including my own........etc etc etc..........its like Ive finally taken out the dead lightbulb and replaced it!!!!!!!!!

And even then I cant describe it. Its like Ive been half asleep for long time and now Im not!

jobei

OOTT a run is great good for you I'm new to this class and my brain is pretty scrambled right now so my posts may be a bit sparadic please bear with me I'm glad you found your keys.

Paix Amour

Hello Jobei

Ive been waiting for you to post whilst Im online. You are doing well. Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart for your support in the other thread I started. I was very desperate at the time actually. Without the overloading support I received in an instant Im not sure where I would be right now.

How many days have you been sober? Im on day 7 today.

CuteNGayYay

Coco not sure on weekend yet. Going to bed now. When I wake up it's Friday morning thanks tomato wow jobei same month n year. And almost identical number of posts haha

Paix Amour

Oh its almost midnight here Friday night, tomorrow is the weekend, I forget my timezone is ahead of everybody elses.

Well, you have a great Friday and I'll have a great Saturday

OldTomato

jobei - I'm glad you found our class! Customers used to come into my shop and comment on how it smells like a bar in there! I just thought "I have to hide it better so I can carry on" rather than "I have a problem". Ridiculous!

Coco - You just described it perfectly. These past few days have made me really aware that alcohol is a depressant. Everything seems brighter now, and I'm actually aware of my surroundings and my friends and family. I didn't realise how consumed I was by alcohol.

jobei

Coco it's been 61 hours since I drank last at this point I feel that hours are more appropriate... I withdrew very badly but was finally able to eat today and am feeling better physically I'm drinking lots of water and trying to eat it really helps with cravings when there's food in my stomach. I would always wait to eat until all my booze was gone and then pass out... real nice on the body...

So amazing that you're on day 7... really gives me hope that we can do this... I hope you're having an ok day so far... I say ok because ok is enough for me!

Paix Amour

OT

Lets imprint that thought in our minds right now! Let us never forget that alcohol supressed our brain and depressed our mood. Amongst so many other things.

I feel seriously different just in the past 5 days, its hard to describe. Alcohol is a wood alcohol that IS ACTUALLY a poison to the human body and was never meant to be ingested by us. Our minds and bodys respond accordingly.....haywire