Applekat

Welcome amyrose! This is a great team!

Applekat

This is one SR post that always resonated with me, and amyrose's two bottles reference reminded me of it. Read it if you need a vivid reminder of the life we don't want to live.

"Is two bottles of wine a night a lot?" by alphaomega
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tml?styleid=93

Paix Amour

CONGRATULATIONS TO:-

Mia83 - 4 WEEKS SOBER (on day 29 today)

CloudStrife - 3 WEEKS SOBER - (on day 22 today I think, hasn't posted since 20/2/16)

Optimist4ever57 - 1 WEEK SOBER (on day 8 today)

Sadie1 - 1 WEEK SOBER (on day 8 today)

Paix Amour

Its mid morning on Sunday here, good morning/evening all.

Im starting day 9.

I had a good day yesterday, was too busy with my son during the day to even think about drinking, but once he was in bed AV started up. It had me going there for a while.

My ex picked up our son this morning because I have him all week, him usually on the weekends. My plan for today is to keep busy. I have dishes to do, play / toy room to tidy and washing to fold and put away (only had time to do half the other day). Im just going stick around home.

Its great to read we have some more newcomers. Welcome to the team.

Keep up the good work everyone.

To those who have had a few struggles, just remember, the cravings pass so ride them out, they don't last forever.

OldTomato

Tonight has been the worst night by far. My friend's job offer has me stressed out and I just wanna drink to oblivion right now. I need to take a step back and remind myself to take it a day at a time for now. I'm not going to take the offer but I need to find a way to tell my friend that. I'll deal with it all tomorrow - I'm getting an early night so I can sleep rather than drink. I'm focusing on my morning meeting and nothing else right now.

Sorry I can't catch up on all your posts tonight, I have read them but I need to check out now!

jobei

Hang in there Oldtomato have a snack that can help my most intense cravings always come when my stomach is empty! You don't need to drink for anything the bad feeling will pass!!

Paix Amour

OT awww no need to stress over your friends desire to have you work with her. You said it's not a job you're keen on and that you didn't want to work with her. I'm sure she means well and is a good friend but it appears this is ALL her idea. She seems to be driving it.

Just simply tell her upfront "No, but thanks anyway" first thing tomorrow morning after your meeting. Surely shes not going get all funny over it! Text her if you don't want to tell her F2F.

Have an early night and get a good sleep.

MovingForward1

Hi class! Been a pretty laid back, but sober Saturday here. Too much sugar maybe but who's counting? Day 5 is all but closed out.

Hope everyone is doing good, if not good, then sober!

Paix Amour

Apple

I just read that post. Wow. Thanks for posting that link. That was me, give or take a few details. Alcohol destroys a persons dignity, families, children, relationships and lives.

Paix Amour

GN

Congrats on day 5! Well done!

Delizadee

My worst ever detox was when I quit drinking nearly cold turkey and quit taking my meds at the same time. I couldn't keep the alcohol down to try to ease the withdrawals. I kept seeing my family all over the place, and random people. Inside my house, outside my house, corner of my eye. I was in a complete stupor and as the night came on, the people started to turn into zombies and dead people. My best friend was an evil clown standing outside my kitchen window glaring at me with a nasty grin. I was terrified of the dark. When I closed my eyes there were hundreds of dead people screaming at me and when I opened my eyes Death himself was standing at my bathroom door, waiting for me. All night he watched over me. There was a young dead girl standing in front of him. I'd catch a few minutes of sleep here and there. At one point, I woke up and I was being attacked by a dead girl from the show Deadwood. She was bright blue and screaming at me, on top of me, all I could do was thrash around on all fours in circles, gasping for breath trying to get her off of me. I thought for sure she was going to kill me. Eventually I got my partner awake and he held me and I shook so violently most the time and couldn't stop the body jerking. Soon the dead people turned into yellow floating famous faces. Faces. There were faces everywhere. Women's faces. Baby's faces. Devil's faces. In patterns on the curtains. The walls. The floors. I saw words on my clothes. It was queer at times but that night was utterly terrifying.
The next night was a little better. That's when the music started. I thought someone had pulled onto our yard and was playing music really loudly. Finally I figured out it was in the house. I could hear the country-rock music pretty well. But I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Finally I thought maybe my cell phone had been left in the basement playing music, or my daughter had dropped it, turned on, down one of the vents. A search turned up nothing. I finally realized I was hallucinating. I could hear this music coming out of the vents... then gregorian chanting coming out of the upper corner of the bathtub, sometimes it was Christmas music, very often it was. Coming clear as day out of random objects or places. I got a very funny look from my partner when I pointed out the music to him that clearly didn't exist.
And, coming out of it, trying to shower and be so racked with shaking that my entire body was tensed, I couldn't stand or bend because I couldn't keep my balance, I couldn't pick anything up. It was awful. And pathetic.
That was my first cold turkey detox! After I had tapered myself off nicely a couple months before. I detoxed many, many times in the past year. Just recounting this makes my stomach clench.

I guess I must be feeling the need to remind myself, as my mind has been feeling complacent lately. I have not done any real work on my sobriety for a number of days. And that shiz up there ^^ to think I allowed myself to go through that not once, but over and over again... yeesh.

I'm raising my coffee and iced tea up to all of us and to another sober weekend!

Delizadee

And tomorrow is two weeks sober for me. I can't understand how my brain STILL goes to the drink when I think how much hell I've put myself through.

GardenGal

Excellent post, thanks for linking it. Pretty much the story of my life the last few years. And to think I used to have it all together. Someday very soon, I hope I will again. Going to my counseling meeting shortly, and not looking forward to having to admit to relapsing for a few very bad days this week. I've done 3 bottles of wine in a day, when I started earlier. I recently fell down and cracked my forehead open. Good news is I wasn't home alone at that point. Working from home may not be the best idea for me anymore.

I hope I can undo all the sadness/ worry I've brought on my little family, particularly on my son.

Day 3 nearly over!

SweatyHands

Delizadee--I had terrifying auditory hallucinations when I went off of Ambien cold turkey. I heard music with really dark, terrifying lyrics coming out of everything. And when I was driving, I was hearing car horns all the time.

Outonthetiles

Just having a quiet saturday.

Outonthetiles

my worst withdrawal was bad..and it was from the dumbest..lamest over the counter drug in the world. It took a week to feel normal.

Paix Amour

Delizadee and others

Thanks for sharing your story. It really helps me to hear others bad experiences with alcohol and the bad withdrawal from it because it reinforces to me that I have done the right thing by giving it up for good.

Paix Amour

Hi GG - Welcome. You're on to day 4 next!

SH - you are doing really well. Stay strong!

I am procrastinating big time today. It's 1pm and I've done nothing. I have urgent housework to do. I typically always drank whilst doing housework. The music went on and the cork went pop then I got it done. Something weird going on here......I'm sitting here thinking I can't do it without 2 bottles of wine! AV is screwing with me again obviously! Because I CAN do housework sober. Im physical able bodied so I CAN do it.

So I've come on here to read some posts, stories and links to get rid of AV. I'm going to beat you AV.

Dee74

You've made a decision based on your own well-being. If you don't want to go into detail with your friend you don't have to.

I dunno about you but I drank for decades Delizadee. I did change...but it took a little longer than 2 weeks, y'know?

Don't be discouraged

D

safeandsound

Thank you for the stories today. I had a VERY powerful urge to drink this afternoon after a fight with H. I just don't know how to deal with emotions without numbing them. I'm also very childish and go into "tantrums" easily.

I have developed a few new positive strategies for dealing with cravings. Today, sadly, it was just eating an entire bag of gummy candies and refusing to talk to H anymore. But it's better than the alternative! And it did make me feel better. Very calm. Maybe I was in a sugar coma

OldTomato, good for you to just going to bed. That is a surefire way to escape the urge, and some days just aren't worth staying awake late for, imo. Whatever works.

This thread helped me a lot:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ggestions.html