Stoogy

I think everyone has very valid points as to whether we could ever change the pattern we had, I honestly think people sometimes have to learn the hard way if that is the case, we learn more from failure than we do from success. Fact.

dSober

Yeah. Trouble is the hardest way for this problem leaves no way to benefit from the lesson.

MIRecovery

As much as I hate to admit defeat I know that alcohol will win every time. Today I'm OK with that. It simply is a fact of life. No different than if I smack my head it is going to hurt

GwenCummings

I have some experience to share here. I quit drinking in Oct 2009 and stayed sober for 2 and a half years before deciding to try controlled drinking again. In no time I was back to my old levels of alcohol if not even more alcohol. The learned behaviour remained a powerful force. The good news is that the learned sober behaviour is also a powerful force and I don't feel I am back to square one. I have been on and off it since then, managing 4 months at one point. I have an absolute commitment to sobriety again now and am currently at Day 12. I am using the tools for sobriety I have practised over these last sober episodes and this time I will not fall. Thanks for reading.

dSober

Keep up the good work Gwen. It sounds like you're learning, as I have, the hard way, it only gets worse.

azbluesgal

yeah it always gets worse before it gets better

NotTooSmart

Hi Gwen. Are you me? Lol. I have a very similar history. Currently on day 3 and trying to do it right this time.

Mags1

It's good hearing you guys talking about all the sobriety time you've had then to slip back. I inadvertently keep thinking I've cured it and can control the drinking.

I'm not drinking but I scare myself the thoughts I get. I feel volatile that maybe one upset, I even worry I could instigate it, could send me back to the bottle.

I know the consequences and couldn't bear to start at day one again, for me. It took me years to get here.

I will keep reading all the words of wisdom and posting.

I do know though, that everyone posting their experiences helps someone, reading somewhere in the world, and if we can help one person, that's amazing. We've given something back.

Thanks for your insight xx

riotboy

Man, this is a three year old thread.

All I will say is that there are some people who have no business drinking and I'm one of them. Not because of fear or shame, just because I'm completely nuts and learned that if there ARE people who can handle alcohol, great for them but it ain't me. When one fellowship talks about trying some "controlled drinking" let's say I followed that advice to the bitter end. I thought it was working for awhile but that 1-2 beers turned into 1-2 bottles of wine and holidays locked alone in my apartment again. Personally, I did not go to any forums of recovery to talk about it being fabulous or to share that I was getting away with it. But hey I didn't really think it was such a great time.

riotboy

(BTW: It was that incident with the wine over the holidays that made me finally throw in the towel and realize that for ME , one or two was a fantasy. Sure, one or two seemed to work for awhile... but I did not mention that I drank until I puked and then kept going anyway. But that really popped a pin into that fantasy of one or two.)

Mountainmanbob

thanks for reminding me
I remember while camping drunk
throwing up with yet another tall can
of beer in my hand
and taking big gulps in between
getting sick while looking at the stars
I thought it was great at the time
but as I look back today
it was a sad way in which to live
MM

Helenita

Of course you can mature, I did that. I am thankful for the astrology line who gave me support and helped me pass that addiction.

dSober

???

Mountainmanbob

I would find no trust in that
just speaking for myself here
MM

Ken33xx

And there it is!

dSober

Yep. When we surrender we can get better.

Extrahours

Here's how I think of it.. why do you drink? For me, it never was really about the taste; some drinks tasted okay, but none were 'good' to me in the way that cherry soda or a cold glass of water on a hot day are. With drinking, it would still take me so much drink to 'feel' any effects from it that I would just be back at square one if I had one drink, because it would not just be one drink. So, none.

Very glad to read about THIQ. I never knew that it existed and it explains a lot about things.

SoberCAH

Cunning, baffling, powerful (and patient).

I find myself going to more meetings as I get older.

I would say I need them.

dSober

I believe that once one has done the steps, remaining conscious of, and actively doing, the maintenance steps (10-12) is a good way to stay sober.

johnrandal21

excellent post extrahours,straight to the point and a. completely helpful insight into recovery.