biminiblue

Yeah, I know what you mean.

But.

Ya have to learn to do the stuff without the, "enhancement." At first it seemed weird, harder, less fun. After some sober time e v e r y t h i n g in life becomes a thousand percent better - but it takes time, months.

In the meantime just focus on the task in front of you and keep saying, "I don't drink." There will be a lot of Pavlov-type associations you'll need to break and the way to do that is to stay sober and do life.

Good job on the Gratitude journal! I journal about all kinds of things. It's super helpful.

CallMeJosh

this has meant so much to me. I have not been motivated to do the things I love to do.. until now

Oglsby

I honestly think the productive things come and go and it is very natural at your stage of sobriety. Also, there is just the flat out realization that this is life, whether we are sober or not. I, too, journal a lot and practice gratitude because there are so many things that I am thankful for, and even though I am an optimist, sometimes I forget those wonderful things.

I was much more active a little younger and I want to get back to those activities, too. I got substantially more complacent during the pandemic and need to work on activities more, too. I really do understand how you feel.

biminiblue

Good!

There is a small amount of what I'd call mourning after giving up substances. Parts of it were fun in the beginning of using. Not so much after a while. That hour of escape/high stops being worth the miserable 23 hours of getting better afterwards.

That went away once I'd acknowledged that it was a thing. Everything I've ever given up has left a hole. . .that's just the way of life, in my experience.

Breakups, deaths, loss of job, a car that dies, giving up an everyday ice cream habit because I can't fit in to any of my clothes? Yeah, they cause a readjustment period.

CallMeJosh

A mourning period! I never thought of this! That is truly what’s going on!!

I played video games the other day and said to myself “I can still have fun sober and fact of the matter is this: I don’t pop pills and drink anymore.. so we play this sober.” I take more of a matter-of-fact tough love stance with myself.

I never saw it as grieving.. but it is a loss.. I’ve lost that “escape” that was becoming harder and harder to achieve. I couldn’t get high.. that made me angry and want to use more haha “this time I will get high!”

spoiler alert: I didn’t.

Oglsby

I totally agree with this. There is the feeling that once-loved activities can never be fun ever again. But, as Bimini said, for most of us the substances/alcohol/etc stopped being fun long ago and we have to adjust. It's also difficult to accept that some people CAN moderate, when we cannot.

biminiblue

Yeah, Josh.

Just don't fall into the trap of thinking that "The High" is the main reason you used. I mean, sure, we all loved to feel that dopamine rush - there's nothing like it.

But.

Again.



Chasing that feeling is a never-ending personal trip to Hell. I know it's easy to think, "Hm, now that I've been away from it for a while, I could probably get that high again now." Danger. I don't know what kind of drugs you were using, but drugs and alcohol can really kill you quickly if you go back to them with the plan of a controlled high. Or even looking for the high. Super dangerous.

The other thing, you may find video games to be boring as a sober person, they really lend themselves to addiction and the two go hand in hand. The games will probably not ever be the same. If you're playing with other players there is the additional danger that a lot of people are high while playing. You'll be a lot better than them.

CallMeJosh

My biggest problem is I want to snap my fingers and no longer mentally obsess over getting high and being happy.. I know that comes with time.. I’m just impatient..I always have been.. trying to learn to be patient and early in recovery just isn’t a good mix. Still here.. still trying.

Dee74

I doubt any of us is a paragon of virtue when it comes to patience, Josh - but I'm a lot better than I used to be as a drinker
D

CallMeJosh

Thank you all for your input. One day at a time.. patience is a practice.. I’m working on it.

CallMeJosh

Car broke down. Stress. Stress is a huge trigger. I won’t use. Just a big circle of negativity..

biminiblue

This is just a test. I've made it through car breakdowns, dental emergencies, plumbing emergencies, a flippin' pandemic, deaths, loss of job, all kinds of stuff - sober. It's a lot easier to get things organized and taken care of sober.

As a matter of fact, I have a 100% Success Rate of making it through challenges.

I did learn one thing: I don't talk about needing patience nor do I pray for it or ask for it!

I found out much to my horror that the way the Universe teaches me patience is by throwing lots of problems my way all at once.

It'll work out. I'll send up a prayer and good thoughts for it to be something not too expensive.

Dee74

Bims on the money. I didn’t know how capable I was in dealing with life until life showed me, over and over…
not downplaying your stress, the reason for it, but mechanical things breakdown… we get them fixed or replace them..it’ll be okay Josh

D

uwekezaji

If you have a hand on egg plant try taking a boiled one before going to bed. It helps with sleeping disorders

CallMeJosh

Being new to sobriety the smallest problems seem like mountains.. they aren’t.. you guys were right. I made it thru it.

eggplant before bed eh? I’ll get some before I go to sleep tonight. Doctor wanted to prescribe a pill.. I said “I’m not good with pills. I take them in a way you wouldn’t like.” She was very understanding and knows my journey.

eggplant tonight!

I’ve found ashwaghanda helps too.