Tianeptine a fight like no other
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 57
Know that feeling like it's my soulmate, Cherry. Just one more one day.
I can semi-happily report most of my WD symptoms are over or ending, finally (close to 2 weeks cause of the 1day relapse). I got almost no RLS last night. The big problem left is no sleep happening. It's a long time thing but before my last stint or the other I had got it better so now it's gonna be a struggle to get that clock back, really wish I hadn't messed with it.
Jaddy good luck
I can semi-happily report most of my WD symptoms are over or ending, finally (close to 2 weeks cause of the 1day relapse). I got almost no RLS last night. The big problem left is no sleep happening. It's a long time thing but before my last stint or the other I had got it better so now it's gonna be a struggle to get that clock back, really wish I hadn't messed with it.
Jaddy good luck
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 46
That is awesome news tired cat im super happy for you. Glad one of us is seeing relief finally. So far I just get waves of intense anxiety, Ill think i ****** my whole body up for about an hour and freak out, and then for a few hours i chill out. I know this is only the beginning. I havent taken any phenibut this morning as i forgot. So ill take a small dose here in a bit as it is the only thing that really helps me. I feel like writing a huge PSA ti warn people about this drug because i truly think had i known the level of withdrawals and dangers this drug brings i would have never touched it. It also would serve as a beacon of hope for those seeking it. I continue to read about unfinished stories. Keep updating tiredcat. So glad you are on the final stretch now thats awesome. Now we just gotta get cherry and I through this
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 46
as the day goes on im becoming more and more scared of what is about to happen to me psychologically. This will be the first time ive made it to day 3 in a long time. I just pray that my higher power can help keep me sane. I need this for my sweet little family. I need this for me. I hate this stupid powder man.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 57
Nothing will happen to you that you can't handle. I know how bad it can get and if it weren't for the inositol I wouldn't have posted here because the anxiety drives me into a corner and I just grab onto anything waiting for it to pass. but it's chemical and it'll pass
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Northeast WI
Posts: 163
I don't think dosing actually prolonged your WD symptoms, necessarily...I CT'd and am at about the same spot at 2 weeks.
I was probably taking more per day than both of you, though. :/
The fog is starting to lift... I'm seeing the details around my house that I've totally neglected, not just in the last two weeks, but in the grip of the tia after I lost control of it. I don't get yet have the energy or stamina to DEAL with it, but I can see it. That's improvement.
I know this will take time, I'm trying to be patient with myself. You guys do the same. We'll come out on the other side, I promise!
I was probably taking more per day than both of you, though. :/
The fog is starting to lift... I'm seeing the details around my house that I've totally neglected, not just in the last two weeks, but in the grip of the tia after I lost control of it. I don't get yet have the energy or stamina to DEAL with it, but I can see it. That's improvement.
I know this will take time, I'm trying to be patient with myself. You guys do the same. We'll come out on the other side, I promise!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 57
You were taking more than me no question. When I got to a week or two I was over 1 g/day but never 5. Still you're getting there.
I can say my WD is officially over. Still walking dead on 4h/sleep/day which is too low, and my mind keeps wandering to bad things cause of it, but this WD was so ridiculous I snap out of it quick, at least for now.
I thank everyone who posted words in the thread. It helped to post here, even if I was delirious most the time.
I can say my WD is officially over. Still walking dead on 4h/sleep/day which is too low, and my mind keeps wandering to bad things cause of it, but this WD was so ridiculous I snap out of it quick, at least for now.
I thank everyone who posted words in the thread. It helped to post here, even if I was delirious most the time.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 46
Sorry man its been a hell of a weekend.... Got like 10 hours of sleep thanks to phenibut. But were talking like ungodly anxiety like just standing up sent my heart racing this morning. My stomach is in full blown pain from taking meds to try to combat this. And they didnt even help a ton. Barely holding on guys. Wish me luck
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Northeast WI
Posts: 163
I'm still like that, Jaddy.... my default setting is feeling like I just ran around the block. Sleep continues to elude me so I'm running on empty. Trying to be patient but it's exhausting. I know it'll get better.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 46
Ya i know. Its just exhausting my relationship.Shes glad to see me off but hates the up all night pacing around and around. and i work a pretty intense job environment where i gotta be 100% and i already made a few mistakes yesterday. All they know is i feel sick and haven't got much sleep. But idk how long i can use that.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Northeast WI
Posts: 163
Work is a struggle for me, too. Any pressure makes my focus deteriorate even further. My boss (we're close, he's in the loop) has been patient, but I'm sure that will have it's limits (and I think we're getting there). I am trying and hoping it's enough!
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Northeast WI
Posts: 163
Well, I made it through a tough test for a possible new job today - passed, and interview Friday. TERRIBLE timing, but that's how life goes sometimes! I nearly skipped even scheduling the test, as I didn't think things would move this fast. This push is helping, though, to get through the sloth and wanting to hide away and grow roots in my couch when I'm not forced to be at my desk at work. Hoping I can pull the interview off, since I absolutely HATE them.
This test involved computer and typing skills, critical thinking, and recall, etc... all that have been tough to come by during this phase, so it IS still in there, thank goodness!
How's everyone else?
This test involved computer and typing skills, critical thinking, and recall, etc... all that have been tough to come by during this phase, so it IS still in there, thank goodness!
How's everyone else?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 57
I'm on a struggle to sleep and work, had to live up to this name. But my WD is over and done and gone. My phenibut came in the mail lol.
That sucks getting more responsibilities when what you need is less. You'll look back on it and be proud. You guys'll make it.
That sucks getting more responsibilities when what you need is less. You'll look back on it and be proud. You guys'll make it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1
Jaddy21, I have been on tianeptine since August 2016 and I know exactly what you're going through
Originally Posted by Jaddy21 
Sorry man, but unfortunately not even strong opiates can touch a couple gram a day habit of tia. Something about it destroys your tolerance. The only thing proven to help is gabapentin and tramadol. And tramadol only really helps because its SSRI activity. And even then its basically not effective without gabapentin. This is because of how tia acts on the brain. At any rate im feeling alright today. I think ive finally leveled out my plasma levels. Oh and Im in no way trying to be rude, I just don't want someone to get the wrong idea and go buy some oxy thinkin it will help only to find they are stuck in withdrawals. Trust me Ive tried everything under the sun to get me off.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 1
Feeling your struggle
This is my first post here, but I haven't found many accounts of people in such a similar place with the Tia until I came across this thread.
I'm a long time recovering addict. Though I've abused pretty much everything over the years, opiates held me down the worst as I was addicted to heroin for about 5 years. Throughout that time I had a dozen overdoses, 6 requiring hospitalization, once in the ICU where my family was told there was no realistic chance of recovery. It landed me ultimately in a world of legal trouble and single handedly toppled my once thriving career as a high level senior director in the IT space for a number of government entities.
Eventually I overcame heroin, only to run head first into alcohol. Fast forward a few more years and I was consistently going through at least a half gallon a day of vodka by myself. Eventually I had to quit that too, and to my surprise the alcohol withdrawals were comparably miserable to those felt from a very (1.5-2g/day) heavy heroin habit, even though the symptoms were different. I was hospitalized for that for a few days as well when I started throwing up blood and shaking uncontrollably, hallucinating, etc.
I first heard of Tianeptine when it was recommended by a friend. I was warned outright that it does feel like an opiate in higher doses, and after 3 years opiate-free I took my first dose of tianeptine at about 500mg knowing exactly how far above the recommended dose it was.. like an idiot. I was shocked at how similar to dope it actually fel and that it was legal.
My tolerance grew quickly, and I'm currently up to about 5g daily and nervous about going through the withdrawals again. I knew it was going to become a problem when I went through my first 50g bag in a few weeks. I mean, I knew before that, but you get the idea.
This is definitely not my first time around the block. I've been involved with recovery for many years and I'm just so tired of putting myself in these positions. It's equal parts embarrassing, frustrating and disappointing every time I do this to myself. I am currently in treatment, btw.
I happen to already have a lot of kratom to help me get by, and I just made an order that I intend to be used as my taper while I slowly sub with the kratom for what I'm guessing should be about a week until I can power through the remaining symptoms after that.
I can find immodium and magnesium just fine. No tramadol, and currently don't know of a reliable source for gabapentin but would love any recommendations.
I've been through so many brutal withdrawals from so many various substances (I guess I shouldn't say SO MANY, but all the big names -- opiates, benzos, and alcohol in each of their respective extremes). I'm usually the one who coaches other people through them for their first time so it's humbling being back at the mercy of a substance yet again after having a good amount of clean time under my belt.
Approximately how long did it take you guys coming off higher (3g+) daily habits? I'm hoping for about 1 week of hell followed by another 1-1.5 of just shaking off the leftover ick getting my energy back. Hopefully kratom, MJ and a disciplined taper is enough to minimize the brunt of the withdrawal.
Any tips or tricks would be most greatly appreciated. Especially when it comes to sleep. Sleep is usually the first thing out the window when I'm going through it... I'm a very light sleeper and it doesn't take much to make it impossible.
I'll let anyone interested know how it goes and am happy to offer any advice I scoop up along the way for those reading this later on. Good luck everyone... we got this.
I'm a long time recovering addict. Though I've abused pretty much everything over the years, opiates held me down the worst as I was addicted to heroin for about 5 years. Throughout that time I had a dozen overdoses, 6 requiring hospitalization, once in the ICU where my family was told there was no realistic chance of recovery. It landed me ultimately in a world of legal trouble and single handedly toppled my once thriving career as a high level senior director in the IT space for a number of government entities.
Eventually I overcame heroin, only to run head first into alcohol. Fast forward a few more years and I was consistently going through at least a half gallon a day of vodka by myself. Eventually I had to quit that too, and to my surprise the alcohol withdrawals were comparably miserable to those felt from a very (1.5-2g/day) heavy heroin habit, even though the symptoms were different. I was hospitalized for that for a few days as well when I started throwing up blood and shaking uncontrollably, hallucinating, etc.
I first heard of Tianeptine when it was recommended by a friend. I was warned outright that it does feel like an opiate in higher doses, and after 3 years opiate-free I took my first dose of tianeptine at about 500mg knowing exactly how far above the recommended dose it was.. like an idiot. I was shocked at how similar to dope it actually fel and that it was legal.
My tolerance grew quickly, and I'm currently up to about 5g daily and nervous about going through the withdrawals again. I knew it was going to become a problem when I went through my first 50g bag in a few weeks. I mean, I knew before that, but you get the idea.
This is definitely not my first time around the block. I've been involved with recovery for many years and I'm just so tired of putting myself in these positions. It's equal parts embarrassing, frustrating and disappointing every time I do this to myself. I am currently in treatment, btw.
I happen to already have a lot of kratom to help me get by, and I just made an order that I intend to be used as my taper while I slowly sub with the kratom for what I'm guessing should be about a week until I can power through the remaining symptoms after that.
I can find immodium and magnesium just fine. No tramadol, and currently don't know of a reliable source for gabapentin but would love any recommendations.
I've been through so many brutal withdrawals from so many various substances (I guess I shouldn't say SO MANY, but all the big names -- opiates, benzos, and alcohol in each of their respective extremes). I'm usually the one who coaches other people through them for their first time so it's humbling being back at the mercy of a substance yet again after having a good amount of clean time under my belt.
Approximately how long did it take you guys coming off higher (3g+) daily habits? I'm hoping for about 1 week of hell followed by another 1-1.5 of just shaking off the leftover ick getting my energy back. Hopefully kratom, MJ and a disciplined taper is enough to minimize the brunt of the withdrawal.
Any tips or tricks would be most greatly appreciated. Especially when it comes to sleep. Sleep is usually the first thing out the window when I'm going through it... I'm a very light sleeper and it doesn't take much to make it impossible.
I'll let anyone interested know how it goes and am happy to offer any advice I scoop up along the way for those reading this later on. Good luck everyone... we got this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1
Now at end of day 3 without Tianeptine
Before I begin, let me give you some background context. At 22 I managed to kick a two year heroin addiction thru an 18 month residential tax center, eventually completing an internship before then working as a counselor in the same therapeutic community for two years I returned to NYC. 5 years later I was a New York City paramedic, working six years on the job before an injury ruptured three discs, fractured my hip and avulsed my labrum, ending my career and landing me in another world pain management and disability. I was prescribed 150 mg oxycodone and 120 my Avinza daily for three years before making the decision to go cold turkey and end my nightmare of addiction. I was shooting both the avinza and the roxicodone, always running out early and yet somehow managing to keep my habit a secret from my fiancé, her family (I had moved to the Midwest after being told I would always have excruciating pain and was lucky to walking).
I went back to school, entered an ABSN program in a top tier school and was kicking ass when two years after quitting opiates I found myself experiencing sudden onset excruciating testicular pain I thought was torsion. All the fear associated with losing my career and almost losing sanity came roaring back in surround sound- right in the middle of an ABSN program where I was working to receive a 4 year degree in one year. After six months of being told I had prostatitis, male pelvic pain syndrome and having more fingers inserted up my ass than I care to remember I found myself back in pain management on 260mg of oxymorphone daily. Three days before graduation I was expelled. My wife left me and I ended up back in the Midwest strung out, drinking like a fish and snorting oxymorphone off the **** of my self loathing while simultaneously doing my best to be a father to my beautiful daughter.
Divorce, rehab- suboxone- a year sober- relapse- suboxone- quitting suboxone after a year at 16mg and then, one day Tianeptine seemed like a harmless romp into experimental land to tickle anhedonic receptors still cold and lifeless as my life when not with my baby girl.
We know the story. Within as few weeks I was chucking down 3 grams a day, a few months later it was 7-10 grams a day. Withdrawals were unreal- worse than heroin, pharmaceuticals and antidepressants rolled into one. Multiple attempts to stop were fruitless....until now.
I tapered to 3 grams then said **** it, **** you and this is going to SUCK. I ate 200mg lope w/60mg Tagamet and 20 gtts bergamot (a PGp inhibitor), 2-4 grams agmatine dosed Q 4 hours and 2 grams phenibut Q 6 hours along with - and here is the KEY ingredient- 80 mg of dextroamphetamine daily. Redosed dextroamphetamine/ lope 100mg Q day for three days, ceasing phenibut and agmatine day three. Now laying in bed with a cigarette in my mouth feeling stunned and amazed that I have FINALLY after a year of pure spiritual, financial and emotional HELL beat thru the worst part of it.
I am still alone in a part of the country I swore I would never live in again, I am still a physical shadow of my former Kettlebell hurling animalistic self having lost over 20lbs of muscle mass and I am still a single dad who hasn't held a woman in over 3.5 years, but this little shambala in the ass end of a self created gutter is MINE again to do with as I will. My daughter is peacefully asleep in her bed after a bath and bedtime story and...and here it is folks...20 grams of sodium/ sulfate is sitting unopened in my front door mailbox having just now arrived. This, like so many before it, was supposed to have been my taper.
After all I have suffered thru what do you think is running forth and back beyond the chain link fence, tongue lolling out in a four legged loping stride?
Just one more blast across the gunwale? A last ramrod mouthful of salute to all the pain Piled up at my edges? What say you? Nobody would know but me...
Know this dear reader- DO NOT **** WITH THIS DRUG. The same old (d)emons lounging in their slippers sipping milkshakes tilt the sky on its end, spilling one second down to pile atop the next, waiting...
I am choosing to not right now raise my quixotic lance but god I know the sway backed throne I perch atop could easily just choose to bay, rear and charge the slumbering dragon anew in a few seconds from now. Nothing left to do but be this one moment we are given to live. To bear witness to free will bloodied, unbowed and staring back unblinking.
I went back to school, entered an ABSN program in a top tier school and was kicking ass when two years after quitting opiates I found myself experiencing sudden onset excruciating testicular pain I thought was torsion. All the fear associated with losing my career and almost losing sanity came roaring back in surround sound- right in the middle of an ABSN program where I was working to receive a 4 year degree in one year. After six months of being told I had prostatitis, male pelvic pain syndrome and having more fingers inserted up my ass than I care to remember I found myself back in pain management on 260mg of oxymorphone daily. Three days before graduation I was expelled. My wife left me and I ended up back in the Midwest strung out, drinking like a fish and snorting oxymorphone off the **** of my self loathing while simultaneously doing my best to be a father to my beautiful daughter.
Divorce, rehab- suboxone- a year sober- relapse- suboxone- quitting suboxone after a year at 16mg and then, one day Tianeptine seemed like a harmless romp into experimental land to tickle anhedonic receptors still cold and lifeless as my life when not with my baby girl.
We know the story. Within as few weeks I was chucking down 3 grams a day, a few months later it was 7-10 grams a day. Withdrawals were unreal- worse than heroin, pharmaceuticals and antidepressants rolled into one. Multiple attempts to stop were fruitless....until now.
I tapered to 3 grams then said **** it, **** you and this is going to SUCK. I ate 200mg lope w/60mg Tagamet and 20 gtts bergamot (a PGp inhibitor), 2-4 grams agmatine dosed Q 4 hours and 2 grams phenibut Q 6 hours along with - and here is the KEY ingredient- 80 mg of dextroamphetamine daily. Redosed dextroamphetamine/ lope 100mg Q day for three days, ceasing phenibut and agmatine day three. Now laying in bed with a cigarette in my mouth feeling stunned and amazed that I have FINALLY after a year of pure spiritual, financial and emotional HELL beat thru the worst part of it.
I am still alone in a part of the country I swore I would never live in again, I am still a physical shadow of my former Kettlebell hurling animalistic self having lost over 20lbs of muscle mass and I am still a single dad who hasn't held a woman in over 3.5 years, but this little shambala in the ass end of a self created gutter is MINE again to do with as I will. My daughter is peacefully asleep in her bed after a bath and bedtime story and...and here it is folks...20 grams of sodium/ sulfate is sitting unopened in my front door mailbox having just now arrived. This, like so many before it, was supposed to have been my taper.
After all I have suffered thru what do you think is running forth and back beyond the chain link fence, tongue lolling out in a four legged loping stride?
Just one more blast across the gunwale? A last ramrod mouthful of salute to all the pain Piled up at my edges? What say you? Nobody would know but me...
Know this dear reader- DO NOT **** WITH THIS DRUG. The same old (d)emons lounging in their slippers sipping milkshakes tilt the sky on its end, spilling one second down to pile atop the next, waiting...
I am choosing to not right now raise my quixotic lance but god I know the sway backed throne I perch atop could easily just choose to bay, rear and charge the slumbering dragon anew in a few seconds from now. Nothing left to do but be this one moment we are given to live. To bear witness to free will bloodied, unbowed and staring back unblinking.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 57
Originally Posted by Medic6581
After six months of being told I had prostatitis, male pelvic pain syndrome
Insane crazy histories like this and people wonder how we let opiates take over our lives. The only reprieve from pure living hell that's why!!
Thanks for posting.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 57
I have some deeply sad news to share.
I didn't feel it was my place to do it and didn't want to, but nobody else is? I apologize in advance if someone who knew him in person wanted to do it someday.
I'm 95% sure it's him, and if so... Jaddy21 passed away in December 2017.
His father found him and generously informed the last place he was posting on while he had the will. But, it's not looking like he's going to resurface to give more explanations, so...
we don't know what it was exactly that took his life.
the last time he posted here was the last time I'd talked to him, but since then he'd been moderating a forum and helping loads of people with their addictions to tia. He had obviously, obviously a great personality. He had no idea how much he helped me in the end too.
really sorry, bud.
I didn't feel it was my place to do it and didn't want to, but nobody else is? I apologize in advance if someone who knew him in person wanted to do it someday.
I'm 95% sure it's him, and if so... Jaddy21 passed away in December 2017.
His father found him and generously informed the last place he was posting on while he had the will. But, it's not looking like he's going to resurface to give more explanations, so...
we don't know what it was exactly that took his life.
the last time he posted here was the last time I'd talked to him, but since then he'd been moderating a forum and helping loads of people with their addictions to tia. He had obviously, obviously a great personality. He had no idea how much he helped me in the end too.
really sorry, bud.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,608
I'm sorry tiredcat - we don't have any more information than what people share with us so it's really hard to try and find out what happened to missing members.
I didn't have that much to do with Jaddy at all, but it's always a punch to the gut when someone loses the fight.
I'm sorry man.
D
I didn't have that much to do with Jaddy at all, but it's always a punch to the gut when someone loses the fight.
I'm sorry man.
D
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