fightinglioness

This is the longest I've gone in over 4 years, I'm only 22 years old. And that scares me how I couldn't go THIS LONG ever before.
I haven't slept in like a week, and even before that sleep was still patchy.
When will sleep become normal again? I work nights... so that doesn't help either I'm sure.
I'm having a loved one control my money supply, so even if I wanted to get something I wouldn't be able to, but it scares me because if I had that money in my hand... I wouldn't be clean right now. But I also feel good about being clean... buying new clothes and things that I've needed for a long time. It makes me feel confident. It also makes me realize that the clothes I've been wearing make me look like a junky dirtbag, but before I didn't really care about other people's opinions.. the only thing I woke up and thought about all day was getting high or thinking of some way TO get high.
Now I'm training my mind to think about other things and it's amazing how much I realize after more than a week of being clean. After the cravings calmed down a bit... I started to become happier. Maybe it's also the prozac kicking in but hey, I'll take it.
I'm hungry a lot more, and when I don't eat every like 3-4 hours I feel really lightheaded, dizzy, and shaky. That's also probably from the lack of sleep I'm sure.
Advice? When will I start feeling normal again?

Lyoness

Welcome sister lioness! Congratulations of 17 days, that is awesome! That's great that you are feeling hungry, taking an interest in your appearance and just coming back to being alive again. Using takes so much from us that we don't even notice until we start to return.

If you lost a lot of weight while using, and what opiate addict doesn't?, that probably explains your hunger. We tend to prioritize fix first, food later if at all and your body is probably just trying to catch up on lots of missing nutrients. Go for it, eat all the good stuff you can and maybe add some vitamins to help your body with the withdrawals and recovery. And drinking lots of water really helps your body to detox and get better, too.

As far as feeling normal again? Everyone is different so it's hard to say. But you will feel better with every day you stay clean. It's worth it, it will be worth it!

fightinglioness

Thank you Yeah it's crazy how much more of a human you become each day!
I did lose a lot of weight.. too much.
I guess I'm just curious when others started to feel normal again... I know it takes a really long time and I shouldn't rush it, I should just take it day by day

Lyoness

In some ways I started feeling more normal every day, I think it's a progression. In other ways I still don't feel normal. But I am also trying for a new normal, to heal a lot of things over a lifetime, so I guess I am still seeking normal.

But to answer your question, I've heard this sort of equation in healing that I still use, that I should expect one month of healing for every year of an issue. So I imagine that by four months--or less!--you will be feeling pretty much normal.

WhoNickJ620

Congrats, keep up the fight. In the long run it is totally worth it. What helped me through those first few weeks was remembering how I felt and that if i picked up again I would have to just endure it all over again. Im 91 days clean today and I can say that I am feeling so much better. I have more control over my life and my thoughts. I no longer have an IQ of a frying pan that I had when I was using. Just remember everyday that passes you gain a small amount back of who you used to be. Keep on truckin!

jokerz4u

Congrats on the clean time. Keep going and your outlook will improve more everyday. After awhile you will look back and think wtf was I doing to myself. Dont give up the fight.

jessd

Congrats on your clean time. I know for me it took awhile for me to do ANYTHING. But it will pass. Just hang in there

fightinglioness

thank you everyone

neferkamichael

Fightinglioness, 17 Days Clean off Heroin? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. Early in sobriety, every time I got a paycheck, I would have my AA sponsor take me to Home Depot and I would spend the majority of it on tools and such. Having money in my pocket was the biggest trigger I had to use. Rootin for ya.

fightinglioness

Yess doesn't it feel good?!! On friday I went shopping and spent ALLLL the extra money I had on clothes, a couple video games, bought my mom a present. and it felt AMAZING! The confidence booster was instant... and I realized that it could be like this all the timee!

Lyoness

How are you doing fightinglioness? Hope you are doing well and will check in and post when you can.

fightinglioness

Hi
I am doing well, still fighting I guess. Still staying clean. But struggling through anxiety and depression. I'm working for the next 3 days so I can post on here. it will help me a lot to be able to type when I have any kind of troubles.
how are you doing?

Lyoness

Hey, glad to see you checking in. Just posted on your other thread.

Tsimz

Just came across your thread and I'm hoping you're doing well. I'm 10 months "sober" just coming off of a suboxone program a couple of weeks ago. I know your struggles but I can promise you every day does get easier although at times in the first few days or weeks it could feel minute to minute. But know it will pass. And then Your physical ailing and dependency is over. As far as I'm concerned that's the greatest freedom of sobriety and one, if you can beat, you'll never want to repeat. Give yourself time, the mental part comes later. Recovery is a roller coaster but one worth riding. ❤️